Love on the Seine
by wandb
Summary: A whirlwind romance in Europe. Five Years Apart. Can Bella and Edward rekindle the love that once burned between them? BxE All human. Rated M for language and lemons.
1. Prologue Reconnection

**A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this story! **

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**Prologue:**

**April 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

I was looking forward to the evening. Jasper and I were going on a date. I needed a night out, as my week had been hectic at work. Jasper and I had been dating for a couple of months, but things were moving slowly. He was very nice though and despite our many differences, I liked him.

I didn't date a lot. I spent most of my free time in my art studio. It wasn't that I didn't want to date, it's that every guy that I met had some major character flaw and it just wasn't worth going through the motions when I knew that nothing would come of it. My friends all thought I was too picky, but I knew what I wanted. I was starting to think maybe I had unrealistic expectations so was evaluating my choices and trying to be more open minded. Maybe the lightning strikes I was looking for weren't realistic.

Jasper seemed different from some of the losers I seemed to attract since college. He is really nice and extremely good-looking. He is tall with blond curls that frame his face. His eyes are the most vibrant color blue and offset his tan skin.

The fact that he was employed at all was a step up from the last guy I dated. He was a new doctor at Harborview Medical Center and had just moved up here to Seattle not too long ago to start his residency. My friend Kate and her boyfriend Felix set me up with him. He and his friends live in her building.

He was taking me to a really nice restaurant downtown and then to a bar to meet his friends. Wanting to make a good first impression, I put on a fitted black dress with spaghetti straps and some high strappy heels. I wore my long brown hair down and wavy. I rarely wore much makeup but I wanted to look good, so I spent some time doing up my eyes and lips. Overall, I thought I did a pretty good job.

He showed up right on time wearing black pants and a gray fitted shirt, which accentuated his gorgeous physique.

"Bella, you look amazing," he said, leaning in for a one-armed hug and a polite kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Jasper, so do you," I replied, pulling out of the hug to grab my purse.

We arrived at the restaurant and Jasper checked us in. The restaurant was fancier than I normally go to so I was a little self conscious that I wasn't dressed appropriately. I hadn't realized it would be quite that nice.

We were seated at a beautiful table by the window and I couldn't help but appreciate the view. Jasper ordered each of us a martini, which I was all too happy to enjoy.

Once we got our drinks, Jasper raised his glass to toast.

"Here's to a beautiful woman agreeing to have dinner with me," he said, looking at me intensely with a smile on my face.

I smiled as our glasses clinked together, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I couldn't explain why I felt uncomfortable. He was very nice, but too intense. I didn't feel like I could relax around him. It was like he could sense this and was trying too hard which made it worse. The chemistry between us had never really gotten going and I felt a bit like I was on a date with my brother. On paper, Jasper was everything I could ever want, but there was something missing with us and I couldn't put my finger on it.

_Maybe the drink will help. _

"So, how's work?" Jasper asked.

"Well, this week has been hell. The gallery is getting ready to show a new artist and he's a nightmare to work with. It's been so busy that I haven't had any chance to paint at all," I said as I picked up my martini.

"I know what you mean. This week has been hard for me too. I had no idea that hospitals had so much political bullshit going on. Everyone is jockeying for position and it feels a bit like high school," Jasper lamented.

"I'm sure you're doing great. Don't let the political stuff get to you," I said, trying to comfort him.

"You never told me how you got into art," Jasper said, changing the subject.

'I've always loved art and different forms of self-expression. I majored in fine art in college. There's something about each artist's interpretation of beauty that appeals to me. No two pieces are alike and each tells a specific story," I said, smiling.

"I'd like to see your work someday," he said.

"Well, I don't know. I've never shown my work. I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm much better at showcasing other people's creations," I admitted, playing with my glass as I blushed.

I loved what I did, even if the money wasn't always that good. I was made to work in the art world. I had been told that I had quite an eye for talent too, which helped.

"What's your family like?" he asked, keeping the conversation going.

"There's not much to tell, really. I'm an only child. My dad lives here in town and my mom lives in Phoenix."

"Wasn't it lonely growing up an only child?" he asked with sympathy in his voice.

"No, not really. I had my friends and my parents are great. I don't need a lot of excitement to be happy," I said bluntly.

"It's hard for me to imagine, I'm so close to my siblings." He smiled sweetly at me.

"So, do you have any plans for the summer?" I asked.

"Me? No. I'm lucky to have two days off in a row. They work us pretty hard as residents," he sighed.

"I've heard that. It must be hard but it'll be worth it in the end."

We ordered dinner and the conversation was light and easy. He really was a very nice person, even if he was incredibly intense. I just wished there was more chemistry.

After dinner we headed out to meet up with his friends at a chic bar around the corner. I was looking forward to it. I hadn't had a chance to meet many of his friends and I didn't know if he was being secretive about most of his personal life for some reason or if he was just wrapped up in his career. Either way it helped with the slow progression of our relationship and neither of us pushed.

We walked into the swanky bar and Jasper saw that his friends were already there. We walked up to a small table where two guys and two girls were already sitting. The girls looked like supermodels and I immediately felt frumpy. The guys had their backs to me and stood up when they saw Jasper.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Emmett and his friend Lauren and this is Edward and his friend Tanya," he said, motioning to each of the guys.

_Edward? Is it really Edward?_

I didn't even have time to register that he was actually standing right in front of me for the first time in five years.

Pulling myself from my daze, I stuck my hand out to shake his outstretched hand, careful to avoid eye contact.

"Actually…we've…uh…met before. It's been a while though," I said, my voice shaking.

Emmett rescued me from my shock.

"Bella!" he bellowed, pulling me into a bear hug and lifting me off the ground into his big muscular arms, "it's good to see you again."

Emmett's joyful attitude was contagious as I smiled up at him, "Emmett, it's really good to see you again too, but I can't breathe."

Emmett carefully put me back on my own two feet. I turned to look awkwardly at Edward.

His voice was as velvety as I remembered when he spoke, "It has been a while. It's nice to see you, Bella."

I felt the ever-present blush creep into my face. I couldn't bring myself to look at his face any longer than was polite, afraid that I'd burst into tears. He, on the other hand, was looking intensely at me as though he'd seen a ghost.


	2. Chapter 1 Introductions

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**Chapter 1:**

**June 2003- London**

**BPOV**

At 23 years old, I was already pretty set in my ways. I could be stubborn, a trait which I inherited from my father, so when my roommates Rosalie and Alice suggested a trip to Europe over the summer, I knew it would be hard to agree on just where we wanted to go. I preferred to see Ireland and London and they wanted to go to Greece. So that's how I came to be traveling alone. As an art major I couldn't pass up a chance to visit Rome so we were meeting back up to visit those places together.

I had spent the last week backpacking through Ireland and had just arrived in London. I was excited to see all the sites in London that I'd only read about. There was so much history and culture there. I had two weeks before meeting Rosalie and Alice in Rome, and I looked forward to the solitude. As much as I loved spending time with my friends there was such a thing as too much of a good thing.

Alice is a bundle of energy and even though I love her to death, she can wear anyone out. Traveling with her nonstop for a month would be exhausting. I didn't know how Rosalie was going to do it.

Rosalie is very straightforward and honest. Some people mistake her demeanor as brusque and the fact that she looked like a model, tall with long blond hair fueled that perception. Everywhere she goes people admire her looks. But everything about Rose was deliberate and compared to Alice, she moved like a snail. How she would keep up was beyond me. Still, it would be fun to see them and hear about their adventures, which I'm sure would be plentiful.

I didn't mind traveling alone. It suited my nature.

I'm a naturally friendly person, but not big on crowds. I want to be able to hear the person I'm talking to and find a decent place to sit. I enjoy variety in life and always want to try new things and meet new people. Too much of the same thing bores me.

I left the hotel and meandered through the streets until I found a lively pub. I loved the pub scene in London and Ireland. I enjoyed meeting the locals and hearing their stories wherever I went. The patrons were always nice and the food was edible, which I couldn't say about everywhere else, so I spent a lot of time going from pub to pub. I enjoyed the English very much. Each person I met was curious and interested in talking to me, which made the experience different from many other places in Europe. Not to mention the hilarious wit that almost all English seemed to possess. I tried to find a new pub each day, excited to see the variety of interesting people who showed up.

This particular pub looked about the same as every other one I'd seen. There were beer posters on the wall and dark wood furnishings. It smelled of stale beer. Some of the old men at the bar looked like they never left and were as much a fixture as the bar itself. I took a seat at the bar and made friendly conversation with one such gentleman as well as the bartender. There was a television that they could see and a soccer game playing so I was surprised that I got any service at all. I'd never seen such an obsession with a sport in my life as I had with soccer in Europe. Thankfully, I knew a little bit about the game so I could have a conversation about it, being especially careful not to actually call it soccer. I wasn't sure the bartender was actually paying any attention to what I said, but I talked anyway.

After I'd had a few beers and made a few local friends, a very handsome, muscular guy approached me with a smile.

"Excuse me," he said, obviously not British, "are you American?"

"Yes, I am. Are you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows skeptically being somewhat of a smart ass.

He chuckled loudly. I liked him already.

"Sorry for the cheesy approach. My name's Emmett," he said reaching out to shake my hand. "Listen, my brother and friend are over at the end of the bar and we were wondering if you'd like to join us."

One of the guys looked completely horrified that Emmett was talking to me and repeatedly hid his face in his hands. The other seemed mildly amused with the whole thing and managed a wave and a smile in my direction.

"Uh…I don't know," I said, looking back and forth between Emmett and his friends.

"Okay, I can see that it's going to take more than that to get you over there. Do you see the guy with the bronze hair, who is currently trying to hide?" he chuckled, pointing to his friends.

_How have I been here all this time and missed him? Holy shit, he's gorgeous._

"You mean the one who's turning ten shades of red, obviously embarrassed that you're over here talking to me?" I asked playfully, ogling the incredibly handsome guy at the end of the bar.

"Yep, he's the one." An evil grin flashed on his face.

"What about him?" I asked, turning back around to face Emmett, my curiosity now piqued.

"That's my brother, Edward. He's wanted to talk to you all night, but hasn't gotten up the nerve to come over here. He doesn't want to be 'that guy', you know? He's a little shy so I thought I'd help him out," Emmett said, flashing a huge smile.

"But you don't mind being 'that guy'?" I smirked.

"Not at all. It's one of my many charms, actually." His smile was contagious.

It was hard not to like Emmett.

I glanced over at Edward, who was beet red and running his hands through his hair in horror of the scene before him.

_I'd kill my friends if they did that to me. God, he's cute though._

Feeling bad for the obviously humiliated Edward, I decided to put him out of his misery and join them. Emmett was grinning from ear to ear.

I picked up my beer and followed Emmett to the end of the bar, where the two guys were shuffling seats around so I'd have a place to sit. They both stood up as I approached.

"Well, look who I found?" Emmett said pointing to me in an attempt to embarrass his brother. "Sorry, I never got your name."

The brunette stuck out his hand immediately to introduce himself. He was very tall and thin, with a friendly smile.

"Demetri Volturi," he said with a smile.

I took his hand and shook it firmly. "Bella Swan, it's nice to meet you."

Emmett's brother Edward looked up at me I was blown away at the sight of him. His face was even more attractive up close and I fought an overwhelming urge to gawk. He was tall with a slim build, yet athletic-looking. His eyes were green and piercing. His cheekbones were well defined and covered by his flawless skin. The brown shirt he had on accentuated his muscles and his jeans fit him perfectly. He was absolutely beautiful.

He smiled nervously and stuck out his hand to introduce himself. He blushed furiously and I could tell he was fighting the embarrassment.

"Edward Cullen, it's nice to meet you." His low voice was smooth and captured my attention immediately. "Whatever Emmett told you, it isn't true."

He smiled a crooked smile as I took his hand.

_Of course his voice is perfect, too._

"That's disappointing to hear. I was very flattered when he told me that you wanted to meet me. But since it isn't true, I'll leave you gentlemen be," I turned and huffed, pretending to walk away. "It was a pleasure to meet you anyway."

He reached out and lightly grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Well, that part might be true," he said, smiling.

"Well then, I'm Bella Swan, it's nice to meet you too." I reached out and shook his hand.

I felt an inexplicable draw to him. Everything about him mesmerized me. How could it be that he wanted to talk to me or that he even noticed me? It wasn't that I thought I was ugly or anything, it's just that he was like a Greek god. I wouldn't be at all shocked to see him with some sort of supermodel. I hoped he wouldn't be disappointed once we started talking.

_Calm down. It's just a drink, Bella. It's not like he wants to marry you._

"Sorry my brother bothered you. I told him not to but as you no doubt can see, he does whatever he wants," Edward said, making a gesture toward his brother, who didn't seem bothered by the remark in the slightest.

"Well, I was tired of listening to you sulk," Emmett said, grinning. "It's not my fault you have no balls." Edward blushed again and I felt bad for him.

"It's fine. I wasn't bothered. I'm traveling alone so it's nice to meet fellow Americans," I said, wanting to put Edward at ease.

"I agree. It is nice to meet people, I just hope we didn't bother you."

_Bother me? Hell no. _

"Please don't worry about it," I said, desperately wanting to reach out and comfort him in some way. "The guy I was sitting next to was getting really drunk anyway and you guys seem normal enough."

_There is nothing normal about Edward. He's exquisite._

"Seem being the operative word," Demetri said, chuckling. "I guess you could say we're pretty normal guys. Well, except for Emmett."

"Hey, I resent that," Emmett said cheerfully.

I sat down at one of the barstools and grabbed a fresh drink from the bartender who appeared as though he didn't even recognize me from the other end of the bar where I'd been sitting.

Bartending while watching soccer=epic fail.

"You're traveling alone? Why?" Emmett asked.

"Well, my friends and I couldn't agree where we wanted to travel, so I've been in Ireland and they've been in Greece. We're meeting up in a couple of weeks in Italy," I explained.

"Is it safe for you to travel alone?" Emmett continued.

"Sure, it's not like I walk down dark alleys at night or anything," I chuckled.

"Don't you get lonely?" Demetri chimed in.

"Nah, I've met really cool people everywhere I've gone. Besides, it hasn't been that long, only a week or so. Talk to me after two more weeks, I may have a different feeling about it then."

"I'm also going to be traveling alone for a while," Edward said, capturing my attention. "Demetri and Emmett are leaving tomorrow for Amsterdam and I'm not meeting my friends Ben and Angela in Spain for a few weeks. I'm just playing it by ear, no real plans."

"I've heard Amsterdam is beautiful, you guys should have a great time," I said to Emmett and Demetri who just nodded and smiled.

I could see the wheels turning in Emmett's head.

"You guys should hang out since you'll both be by yourselves," Emmett bellowed, pointing back and forth between Edward and me. "Plus, Edward could keep you safe from all the weirdoes out there."

"I couldn't even keep her safe from you though," Edward teased Emmett.

"Yeah, maybe we could…" I trailed off, wanting to change the subject. Edward looked down into his beer glass, avoiding eye contact.

I would have loved nothing more than to spend two weeks traveling around London with Edward, but I didn't want him to feel obligated. He seemed like the type of guy who wouldn't want to disappoint anyone, even to his own detriment.

"So Bella, where are you from?" Edward asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Seattle. What about you guys?"

"We all live in Los Angeles," Emmett explained.

_California. Bummer. _

"Los Angeles, huh? Is that where you're from?" I asked.

"No, Emmett and I are from Chicago but Demetri grew up in Southern California," Edward said.

"Do you like California? It's quite a bit different from Chicago, I imagine," I said.

"It's nice, but yes, it is very different. The weather is nice, a lot better than Chicago. I'm having fun, at least in my limited time off from school but I can't see myself living there once I graduate. It's not really my style. Everyone there is so into looks and money and power, no offense Demetri," he sighed, glancing at Demetri who shrugged him off. "I just want to live my life and be happy,"

_Oh my god, he's adorable._

"I couldn't agree more," I said, raising my glass to toast. "To living life and being happy."

All of our glasses clinked together as we toasted.

I enjoyed their company immensely. All three of them were very polite and made me feel like I'd known them for years.

It turned out that Emmett was a foreman for a construction company, which even knowing him for as short of a time as I had, I thought it was perfect for him. He was loud and friendly and I could tell that wherever he went, he was the life of the party and commanded respect. He could have anyone eating out of his hand with his charm.

Demetri was a graphic designer for a firm in Los Angeles that made video games. It definitely suited his personality. He was polished and well spoken, but I could tell that he was like a big kid.

Edward was going to medical school at UCLA and had moved to Los Angeles with his brother the year before. He was smart and caring; he would no doubt make an excellent doctor one day.

The guys were spontaneous and fun. Even Edward, who was supposed to be the shy one of the group laughed and joked with everyone. He was captivating and I couldn't help but feel nervous around him. I was extremely curious about him. He spoke deliberately, like every word was planned. I wondered what it must have been like for him growing up with a brother who was so different than he was. Unlike Emmett, Edward seemed to think about everything he said. He didn't just talk for the sake of talking and I found myself anxious to hear his thoughts.

"So, what do you do in Seattle, Bella?" Edward asked.

"I'm a senior at the University of Washington, studying art." I looked down at my hands and fidgeted with my fingernails. "I'd love to earn a living as an artist one day."

"I can picture you doing something like that. You seem like a bit of a free spirit," he replied, smiling at me. "I'm sure you are very good."

"Yeah…well…I don't know about that," I said nervously.

"I think it would be amazing to be an artist, to be able to convey all your emotions, thoughts and ideas through your work. Unfortunately, I don't have any artistic talent; so when I see it I'm always impressed."

Edward smiled widely and I was immediately reduced into a puddle of goo, completely unable to act coherently. His teeth were perfectly straight and his smile was slightly crooked, making him seem both confident and reassuring. I managed to smile back at him, despite feeling paralyzed by his beauty.

As the night wore on, I began to lose myself in Edward, almost unaware of where Demetri and Emmett were or what they were saying. Edward's gaze was intense and I could have stayed and talked to him all night. I watched his playful interaction with Emmett and Demetri and wanted to know more about him.

Entirely too soon, it was time for the pub to close and I stood reluctantly to leave.

_Please don't let this be it._


	3. Chapter 2 The Pub

**A/N: Thank you all for the responses to the Prologue and Chapter 1. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story thus far! I don't take any of my readers for granted and I appreciate all your support very much! **

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**Chapter 2:**

**June 2003- London**

**EPOV**

Demetri and Emmett were leaving the next day so we decided to go to the pub as a send off. I was looking forward to spending some time alone before meeting up with Ben and Angela in Spain. I had no real plans for the next couple of weeks and was excited about being spontaneous. I didn't get much of a chance for spontaneity in my life, so this would be refreshing.

We'd been at the pub for about an hour when she came in. She was by herself and sat down at the bar. All the guys in the pub noticed her immediately, but she seemed oblivious. I watched as she smiled widely, striking up a conversation with the bartender and a drunk sitting next to her. That guy had no idea how lucky he was.

She was stunning. She had long, dark hair that fell down her back in waves. Her skin was flawless and milky white. I couldn't tell what color her eyes were, only that they were large and expressive. Her smile lit up the room.

I wanted to talk to her.

"Hellloooo, Edward," Emmett said, pulling me from my daze. "Stare much?"

"I'm not staring at her. I just think she's pretty," I said defensively.

"Sorry bro but you were staring," he replied. "That's okay though, she's cute. You should go talk to her."

_Like she wants some guy hitting on her. _

"I'm sure she's just trying to enjoy herself. She doesn't need me bugging her," I said, wishing my words weren't true.

Emmett was outgoing and boisterous, while it took me a little longer to warm up to people. Hitting on girls made me extremely uncomfortable. For that reason, I didn't date much. The girls who I had dated were all introduced to me by friends.

I sat and watched her for a while, completely ignoring my friends. Emmett and Demetri were prattling on about how much pot they were going to smoke in Amsterdam or some shit like that.

"When in Rome…" Emmett had said, laughing.

I was too interested in the fascinating woman at the other end of the bar to pay much attention to them. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I watched the bartender flirt with her and felt a pang of jealousy, however unreasonable. The drunk beside her talked to her an inch away from her face, but she was gracious and always smiling.

"That's it," Emmett said, standing up. "I've had enough of you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I stood up to stop him from whatever he was about to do. I knew from experience that Emmett had no fear and could be ruthless when he wanted to be.

He turned and walked in the girl's direction.

_Oh God, what's he doing?_

"What are you doing, Emmett?" I scoffed, grabbing his arm.

"I'm doing you a favor, Edward," he said, pulling himself from my grasp. "You'll thank me for this someday."

"Emmett, please don't do this," I pleaded.

"Too late," Demetri chimed in.

_Fucking Emmett._

Demetri and I watched as Emmett strode over and started talking to the girl. She glanced our way and I felt my face turn red and my body temperature rise. Their conversation went on for a few minutes as they both looked over at me and laughed.

_Why is he doing this to me?_

"Looks like he convinced her to come over here," Demetri said, smiling as he put his hand on my shoulder.

I looked over and saw the girl coming toward us, with Emmett right in front of her.

"Well, look who I found?" Emmett said with a mischievous smile. "Sorry, I never got your name."

Thank God Demetri had his wits about him and reached out to shake the girl's hand. I, on the other hand, was worthless. I couldn't believe that Emmett actually brought her over to us. Now I looked like I couldn't even fight my own battles. I felt like a pussy.

_How embarrassing._

"Demetri Volturi." I heard Demetri say.

"Bella Swan, it's nice to meet you."

_Bella. That's an appropriate name._

She had a lovely voice. It was rather low for a woman, but still very feminine and soft. She smiled at Demetri and I felt the warmth. She seemed kind and sincere.

Deciding it was time to grow a pair, I stuck out my hand to introduce myself.

"Edward Cullen, it's nice to meet you." I cringed thinking about what Emmett must have said to her to convince her to join us. "Whatever Emmett told you, it wasn't true."

"That's disappointing to hear. I was very flattered when he told me that you wanted to meet me. But since it isn't true, I'll leave you gentlemen be," she turned to walk away. "It was a pleasure to meet you anyway."

_She was flattered?_

"Well, that part might be true," I confessed, as I reached out to stop her. She had just met me and I wasn't about to let her go that easily.

When she shook my hand, she looked deeply into my eyes and I felt an instant connection. It was like no one else existed at that moment. I wanted her all to myself. I was sure that she made everyone feel that way. It was her gift.

I apologized to Bella for Emmett, although she didn't seem bothered by him. In fact, she seemed to get along well with all three of us. Emmett embarrassed the hell out of me by revealing my attraction to Bella in front of everyone. Thankfully, Bella came to my rescue and Demetri changed the subject before I died of humiliation.

There were times when I wished I could be more like my brother. Nothing bothered him and he could talk to absolutely anyone. I wondered if Bella would have joined us had it been me that approached her and not Emmett. She seemed to sense my apprehension and immediately put me at ease. She had the ability to make me forget that I wasn't as outgoing as Emmett and made me feel interesting. She was every bit as nice as she had looked across the bar.

I was horrified when Emmett suggested that Bella and I travel together. She was polite, but she changed the subject pretty quickly after that. Of course, I had already been thinking the same thing when Emmett said it but didn't want to presume anything.

_Maybe we could meet up for coffee or something? Coffee is harmless, right?_

I could imagine what she was like back in her hometown of Seattle. She probably had guys lining up to take her out. She was beautiful, but not in the typical way. Her personality made her more appealing and each word that she spoke made her more attractive to me. She exuded confidence and poise.

We talked about what it was like living in Southern California and my school. I didn't get much free time, and although I enjoyed the weather, I never felt like I was at home in Los Angeles. I knew that I wouldn't live there when I finished school. I didn't really want to move back to Chicago either though. I'd lived there my whole life and wanted something new.

_Hmmm, I wonder what my chances would be for a residency in Seattle?_

When Bella said she was studying art, I couldn't help but think it was so appropriate for her. She was spontaneous and energetic and I had no doubt that she was extremely talented. I was never talented at the arts, although I used to play piano when I was younger.

The night wore on and I found myself lost in the conversation with Bella. I would have talked to her about anything just to keep the conversation going. She captivated me and made me want to know all about her. As the pub was closing, she stood up to leave and I didn't want the night to end.

"Bella, let me at least walk you to your hotel," I said, hoping that I could prolong the night.

"You don't have to do that, Edward," she replied, "I'll be fine."

"Please, I'd feel better if you'd let me walk with you. I don't mind, really." I wasn't going to give up that easily.

She agreed and I was ecstatic at the idea of having more time to talk with her.

She said her goodbyes, giving Emmett and Demetri huge hugs.

"Thanks for a fun evening," she said sweetly, "it was nice meeting you guys."

"The pleasure was ours, Bella," Emmett responded, and then nodded over to me. "Don't let my brother take advantage of you."

_I'm going to fucking kill Emmett._

"Don't worry, I think I can take him," Bella said sarcastically. "Have fun in Amsterdam."

"We will. Hopefully we'll meet again." Emmett and Demetri turned and stumbled away down the street.

"I'm sure we will," she replied, smiling as she waved.

Bella and I started walking toward her hotel.

"So, what are your plans while your friends are gone?" Bella asked me.

_Don't be a pussy._

"I…uh…don't have any plans," I admitted, running my hands through my hair. "I was just going to play it by ear."

_Pussy._

"Me either. It's nice not having any plans though. I feel like life is so regimented normally that I welcome the freedom. I can go wherever the current takes me," Bella sighed, swaying her body back and forth, emulating a current.

"Bella, I want to ask you something, but please don't feel like you have to say 'yes', okay?" I stopped walking and turned to look at her.

"What's up, Edward?" She looked concerned and curious.

"Would you consider spending some time with me over the next couple of weeks?" I asked, feeling immediately self-conscious. "I'll be a perfect gentleman, I promise."

I smiled at her trying to decipher her confused expression.

"Spend some time with you? What did you have in mind?" Bella asked, putting her hands on her hips and looking at me quizzically.

_The entire time?_

"I don't know. Maybe we could check out some of the sites or something. It would be fun, don't you think?" I asked, suddenly unsure of myself.

She looked down at her feet as though composing her response and we started walking again.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do think it sounds like fun. It will be an adventure traveling with the perfect gentleman from Los Angeles," she said as she smiled brightly. "You've been a lot of fun to hang out with tonight."

_Fuck yes, she agreed._

"Thanks, you too. How about tomorrow?"

"I suppose I could do tomorrow," she said sarcastically.

"You don't have to do a thing, I'll plan something fun for us."

"There's plenty to see. Surprise me."

"Surprise you, huh? All right, I can do that. Meet me at the tube station on High Street at 9:00. There's a place we can grab a bite to eat nearby and we can go from there. Sound good?"

"You got it," she responded. "I'll see you tomorrow for our mini-adventure. Let's see where the current takes us, shall we?"

We walked the short distance to her hotel and stopped on the sidewalk in front. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Her face lit up and almost glowed. Had I been bolder, I might have taken the opportunity to lean in and kiss her, but instead I gave her a hug and pulled away.

_Pussy._

She turned and walked up the steps to the hotel and then disappeared inside.

I thought about Bella all the way back to my hotel. How in the hell had I gone from being alone for two weeks to having a fascinating and beautiful woman agree to spend time with me? It's funny how things work out. I was thrilled though, and determined to make sure she had the time of her life. I hoped that tomorrow would lead to more.

I finally made it to my hotel room and found Demetri and Emmett still awake watching TV, each lounging comfortably on one of the two queen sized beds in the room.

_I guess I'm sleeping on the pullout, huh?_

"So, how'd your little walk go?" Emmett chided, making air quotations with his fingers to emphasize the word "walk".

"Fine, no thanks to you, asshole," I said as I hit him lightly on the shoulder. "Thanks for embarrassing me all night."

"No problem. Happy to help," Emmett chuckled, only halfway taking his eyes off the show he was watching. "You'd have never gotten up the nerve to talk to Bella. Admit it, you needed me."

I probably I should have thanked him, but I couldn't give him the satisfaction. Instead, I sat down in the chair next to Emmett's bed and put my feet up on the small occasional table.

"Whatever," I said as I grinned at him.

"Seriously Edward, Bella was cute. Are you going to see her again?" Demetri asked, not letting the topic die.

"Yeah, we're going to hang out tomorrow, since we're both going to be alone," I admitted, knowing that I'd get shit from Emmett.

"Nice work, little bro," Emmett said as he swung to punch me in the arm. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Well, if I used that as a barometer, nothing would be off limits, would it? Seriously, it's not like that, though. I just met her and unlike you, I actually have self-control."

"Not like that, my ass. I know you Edward, and you're fucked." Emmett burst into laughter.

_I hate Emmett sometimes._

"I'm with Emmett, Edward. You two didn't take your eyes off each other the whole night," Demetri chimed in.

"She was just being polite," I said sheepishly, wanting desperately to believe Demetri.

I knew that I was definitely interested in her, but was she interested in me?

"Edward, you guys are both traveling alone. Would it be such an awful thing to hook up?" Emmett asked. "What's the big deal? What happens in Europe stays in Europe, right?"

"That's Vegas, dumbass. Besides, it's not a big deal; I just don't want to get ahead of myself. Just because she agreed to hang out with me doesn't mean she wants anything more than that. Let me just get through tomorrow."

I stood up to go to the bathroom.

"I'm going to bed. I'm meeting Bella at 9:00."

"You know where to find us," Emmett laughed.

I closed the door of the bathroom and stared into the mirror at my reflection.

_Emmett's right, I am fucked. I already like her way more than I should._

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	4. Chapter 3 Jasper

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**April 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

"How the hell are you, Bella?" Emmett boomed. A dazzling smile lit up his handsome face. "Fancy meeting you here."

I immediately remembered why I had liked Emmett so much when I first met him. He was so outgoing and friendly and immediately put everyone at ease, at least as much as was possible in this situation.

Pulled from my shock, I politely shook the two women's hands that were standing next to the guys and sat down next to Jasper. I had no idea what my face must have looked like, but I was trying my absolute best to not look like I felt. Like I was going to jump out of my own skin.

_God, this is awkward._

"So, you guys know each other?" Jasper asked, confused.

"Yeah, we met in Europe when I was on break from UCLA. We spent some time traveling in London and Paris," Edward said, matter-of-factly.

"What a small world," Jasper said, his arm snaking around my back, "and you haven't seen each other since then?"

"No, that was five years ago," I said softly.

"Edward works with me at the hospital," Jasper explained to me. "We went to medical school together and moved up here to complete our residencies."

_This is a nightmare._

"That's nice, did you all move here together?" I asked, curious how long Edward had been in town.

"Yeah, Emmett came up with us too," Jasper replied.

_He's been here for months then._

"I'm sure it was helpful to have friends with you when you moved to a new city," I said, feeling Edward's eyes on me, making me feel even more awkward.

_God, I need to get out of here._

How was it possible that after the five longest years of my life, Edward was sitting right in front of me…with another woman?

_Isn't that my life in a nutshell?_

Jasper was being sweet and affectionate, giving me small kisses on the back of my hand and rubbing my knees as we sat there talking. He whispered in my ear whenever I needed clarification on something someone said. But, every time he touched me, I felt myself jump at the contact. It wasn't his fault. He had no way of knowing my past with Edward or the feelings seeing him again evoked.

I watched Edward be attentive with Tanya and felt a surge of jealousy. She was beautiful and had long red hair that flowed wildly over her shoulders. She looked like the type of woman he should be with- stunning just like him.

_Time for another cocktail, Bella._

"So Bella, what have you been doing since the last time we saw you?" Emmett asked, enthusiastically.

"Well, let's see. I graduated from college and started working as an art consultant in a gallery. I guess I've been lucky that I get paid to do something I enjoy so much," I explained excitedly. "I've met the most incredible artists and learned so much from them."

I felt inspired and confident talking about my work. It had been my passion for as long as I could remember.

"Hey Jasper, how come you never brought Bella around before?" Emmett turned to Jasper and lightly hit his arm.

"I'm embarrassed by you guys, why else?" Jasper said, as he laughed. "I don't know, I guess we've been busy with other things and I was keeping her to myself."

Edward's face was turning red and he looked as though he wanted to say something but couldn't.

Changing the subject, Tanya asked, "What kind of art do you work with, Bella?"

"All kinds," I said politely. "We're just about to open a new show with an up and coming local painter. You should come take a look. His work makes a powerful statement about social and emotional connections. It's gripping and sensual."

Even though I had said the same thing about this artist's work a thousand times, I couldn't help but stumble over my choice of words as I glanced at Edward. I quickly handed each of them my business card and put the rest back into my purse.

"Thanks, I might take you up on that. How fun to have a friend in the art world. Don't you think we should go take a look?" Tanya asked, turning to Edward. "You've always liked art, haven't you?"

"Uh…yeah…I do like art," he replied softly, running his hand through his hair.

He smiled slightly at her and I could see that he felt as awkward about things as I did.

"Bella, would you like to dance?" Jasper asked, standing and pointing to a small dance floor.

I accepted his offer and we walked to the dance floor and began to sway to the soft music. I was happy to be away from Edward. Jasper pulled me tight against him and ran his hands along the length of my back, as his breath skimmed over my neck. Normally, I would love to be this close to someone I cared about, but I realized then that Jasper's feelings toward me were much more than mine toward him. I didn't want to hurt him. It didn't help that with each turn to the music, I felt Edward's eyes on me, staring intensely.

We only stayed at the bar for two more drinks after that and then Jasper suggested we leave. Everyone was nice enough but I was thankful that I didn't have to stay and endure being around Edward and Tanya. It was hypocritical, I realized, since I was there with Jasper, but I couldn't help it.

I'd had my time with Edward. Five years had passed. He was living in Seattle and never made contact with me. He obviously didn't have any interest in me. Sure the time in Europe was wonderful, but it was a long time ago and feelings change. People change.

We said our goodbyes and left. The ride on the way home was quiet and I tried not to let Jasper see my distress over seeing Edward again after all these years.

He parked the car and walked up the walkway with me. It was almost as though he sensed my hesitation and gave me my space. But the concern was etched on his face.

"Are you sure everything is alright Bella? You seem so pensive."

I didn't know what to say and just wanted this night to come to a close. "Yes, it's nothing Jasper. Thank you for dinner," I said flatly.

He leaned in and kissed me chastely. "You're welcome."

I put my hand on his chest, hopefully letting him know that I wanted to keep my distance.

"I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" I said, softly.

"Sounds good. Goodnight." He turned and walked down the driveway. I watched him drive away before I went in my house. Alice was sitting on the couch watching TV in her pajamas.

"So, how was your date?" Alice asked, bubbling with enthusiasm. Her expression quickly changed as I threw myself down next to her on the couch. "What's wrong Bella? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"It was going fine, until Edward showed up," I said.

"Edward was there? As in THE Edward?" she asked, aghast.

"Yep," I said, popping the P.

"Holy shit, how long has it been since you've seen him?" she probed.

"Since our trip. So, five years. Do you want to hear the best part? He's Jasper's roommate."

"What the hell?" Alice was facing me on the couch looking intensely at me.

"I know. It was a complete nightmare," I sighed. "It was out of nowhere too. Whenever Jasper has talked about his friends, he's never mentioned names. It's always 'the guys' or 'my friends'. I can't believe I never asked him."

"Bella, I'm so shocked. You must have freaked out when you saw him," Alice said, sympathetically.

"You have no idea. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. He was with some supermodel too, which only added salt to my wound."

"So how did he look?" Leave it to Alice to cut to the chase.

"He looked good. He looks exactly the same as he did five years ago. He's a little more grown up but still insanely handsome. All the emotions that I felt came rushing back when I saw him." I put my face in my hands in frustration. "Oh God, I feel so guilty about Jasper. He's such a sweetheart, but I know now that I could never have feelings for him other than as a friend. Seeing Edward and remembering the feelings I had for him confirmed that."

"Well, if you truly feel that way, you have to end it with Jasper. I don't know him that well, but he seems like a really nice guy and it's not fair to lead him on, you know?" Alice counseled.

"I know, Alice. He is way too good to have to deal with my emotional baggage. I'll call him tomorrow," I said, shaking my head, dreading that conversation.

I walked into my room and fell onto my bed. I had spent five years comparing every male I met to Edward. I had pined for him and wished we could go back and do things differently. I had dreamed about his hands on me and at times, could actually feel and smell him. I fell for him hard and had loved him with every fiber of my being. How had he just shown up in Seattle? How could he have been my pseudo-boyfriend's roommate and I not know? He'd been in town for months and had never made any attempt to contact me.

Edward could never know how much of an impact he had made on me all those years ago. He could never understand the depth of my feelings for him. I felt like crying and laughing at the same time. Seeing Edward again brought back such powerful emotions in me. But, the reality was that he was with Tanya and even if he wasn't, he was Jasper's roommate. He knew I lived in Seattle and had never called. If he had still felt something for me, he would have tried to contact me.

_What a cruel joke this is._

I woke up the next morning, having only slept a few hours, and called Jasper. There was no sense in putting off the inevitable, and I knew he wasn't due at the hospital until later. He was pleasant, as always, and agreed to meet me for coffee.

I arrived first and sat nervously sipping my coffee as I waited for Jasper to arrive. Being anti-confrontational by nature, I always hated having these kinds of conversations. He finally arrived and caught my eye as he walked in, flashing me a smile. He looked gorgeous and I wished that the situation were different between us. I wish I were attracted to him and not to the memory of a man who had no interest in me.

He grabbed a coffee and sat down opposite me.

"Good morning, Bella," he said, leaning across the table to give me a quick kiss. "You look pretty."

"Hi Jasper. You look nice, too," I said, trying to break the ice.

"Thanks, I try," he said, softly. "So Bella, it's not like I don't love seeing you, because I do but I get the sense that something's on your mind. What's up?"

_He's smart, gorgeous, and intuitive. God I hate this. Why don't I have a connection with him? I swear something is seriously wrong with me!_

"Jasper…listen," I stuttered and exhaled sharply, "I think you are a really great guy and we've had a lot of fun…"

"But…" Jasper interjected, catching on to my tone.

"But…something's missing," I looked down and picked at the napkin in front of me. "I really like hanging out with you, but I feel like we're more friends than anything else. It's not fair to either of us to be in a relationship like that."

"Bella, I don't understand. Did something happen last night?" he asked bluntly.

My head shot up. "Why would you say that?" I responded defensively.

"You just seemed off last night, not yourself, and now this," he sighed. "I thought maybe something happened to bring this on."

"I've been thinking and believe me, I wanted this to work out. I have such fun with you and you are everything I could ever want in a boyfriend. But last night when we were dancing and you were holding me, I realized that I love you like a best friend and not as a lover. What should have been a very romantic moment was instead a very comfortable dance with a really good friend. I didn't feel the spark. As much as I want to feel it, and have tried to feel it, it just isn't there. You deserve the best and I wish that I could be that person for you. I just can't make myself feel something that I don't. I'm so sorry."

I felt horrible and could hardly look at him. He really was a beautiful person, both inside and out and I hated to hurt him.

"Well, I can't say I'm entirely surprised by this. You were acting strange last night. I'm sorry that you feel that way. I wish I knew what happened," Jasper sighed. "I think you are an amazing woman, Bella and I truly hope that you find someone to make you happy."

"Thanks Jasper, I feel the same way about you," I said, meekly. "I know you'll find someone."

"Bella, I don't want things between us to be awkward. I'm friends with Felix and Kate and I'm sure we'll see each other often," Jasper said.

"I'd like it if we could be friends," I added.

_You are such a cliché, Bella. Why not just say, "it's not you, it's me."_

We both stood and he hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry about all this, Jasper," I said, feeling tears welling up.

"Don't worry, Bella," he said, softly, "I'm a big boy. I can handle it."

With that, he grabbed his coffee and walked out. I slumped down in the chair feeling completely alone. I hated breaking up with people in general, but breaking up with such a great guy like Jasper really sucked.

_What the hell is wrong with me? _

It was hard not to feel somewhat resentful that Edward had shown back up in my life. Up until last night I thought I could lay the past to rest. Why couldn't I just appreciate what I had and not pine for something that was long gone? I was chasing a phantom and in the meantime, chasing away any chance I had for having a decent relationship.

Despite the difficulty of my conversation with Jasper, I did feel relieved. I couldn't pretend that there was more than there was. As much as I had hoped that I would develop feelings for Jasper, I was prolonging the inevitable by staying with him.

Seeing Edward had forced me to look internally not only at my feelings for Jasper but my attitude in general. I needed to clear my head of Edward, once and for all. He was with Tanya. He had been in Seattle and never tried to get in touch with me. He didn't want me. It was time to move on.


	5. Chapter 4 Galleries

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**Chapter 4:**

**June 2003- London**

**BPOV**

I rolled over and smacked the alarm clock as it blared in my ear signaling me to get up. I was so tired from the night before and the morning came entirely too soon. I didn't get to bed until late, after spending the evening with Edward, Emmett and Demetri. They had been extremely entertaining and I didn't want to leave before the pub closed. So instead, I was battling to get up. It was worth it.

I stumbled to the shower and climbed in, still half-asleep. The warm water ran over me in an attempt to wake me from the dead. I slowly began to join the land of the living and finished up my shower reluctantly.

I was looking forward to seeing Edward again. He intrigued me and I couldn't believe that he wanted to spend his time traveling with me. I wasn't going to over-analyze it though and ruin the time I did have with him being insecure.

I got dressed in jeans and a fitted white logo shirt and headed out to meet Edward. The tube station wasn't far from my hotel and I enjoyed the walk as all the London commuters made their way to work. The tube station was busy with rush hour traffic and I waited patiently for Edward, hoping I wouldn't miss him in the crowds.

I finally saw him walk into the station. He scanned the area looking for me and I watched him from afar for a moment, admiring him. I trotted up to him from behind and pinched him in the sides to scare him.

"Holy shit, Bella," he yelled as he turned around sharply. "Don't ever do that again!"

I couldn't help but laugh at his outburst. He looked adorable, even when he was mad.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I said, smiling and raising my eyebrows, trying to look innocent.

"Yeah right, little Miss Innocent. You scared the shit out of me," Edward said, flashing me his sexy smile. "Let's go get some food and talk about what I have planned for us today, shall we?"

He led me to a bakery around the corner and we ordered pastries and tea and took a seat by the window.

"So, given my escort for the day, I thought we'd do the museums. We can take the tube and hit up the British Museum and the National Gallery. Who better to guide me through art galleries than you? There's supposed to be some amazing stuff there. What do you think?"

"That sounds perfect. I hope I can live up to your expectations," I said playfully as I picked at my scone.

We sat and quietly finished our tea and breakfast and I found myself positively giddy at the concept of spending all day with Edward. He was beautiful and intriguing and I had to know more about him.

We hopped on the tube and made our way to the museums.

"What got you interested in being a doctor?" I asked as we walked through the cavernous hallways filled with antiquities in the British Museum.

"My dad is a doctor and I've always wanted to follow in his footsteps. I grew up watching him help people and I admired that so much," he said softly, his hands buried in his pockets.

_God, he's so fucking sexy._

"I think you'll be a great doctor. You seem compassionate and caring and you're obviously smart enough," I said.

He smiled at me and said, "I don't know about all that, but thank you."

"What kind of doctor is your dad?" I asked, curious about the man who played such an important role in Edward's life.

"He's an oncologist. It's hard for him, but he's really able to make a difference in people's lives." He looked almost reverent at the mention of his father.

"You'll make a difference too," I said assuredly. "Do you know what kind of medicine you want to practice?"

"I haven't entirely decided yet. I'm tossing around a few ideas, but I still have time to figure it out." He shrugged, took another step and paused at the entrance to the Great Court at the heart of the museum.

The facets of the massive, arched glass ceiling lit up above Edward's handsome face and shook me from a trance. I was staring up at Edward as he looked back at me expectedly when it hit me that he had asked me where we should head next. I shook my head and stammered a response about consulting our map.

We leaned over the directory, our foreheads nearly touching and I swear he could hear my heart almost beating out of my chest. We agreed on the special exhibits on the upper floors. I had missed an entire wing of Egyptian sculptures enrapt in conversation with Edward and it didn't bother me at all.

We continued on our tour and the conversation flowed freely. The more we talked, the more impressed I was with his intellect and his charisma. He was not the shy person I had taken him for at the pub. He was confident and funny. He constantly made me laugh with his dry humor and sarcastic remarks. I could dish out the sarcasm so it was nice to be with someone who was witty and could give it to me right back.

He explained more about how hard medical school was and that he hardly had any free time. It made sense to me now why he had looked so forward to this trip, he needed freedom. Medical school had occupied one hundred percent of his time for the past year. I was extremely flattered that he wanted to spend his well-earned free time with me.

We walked for hours around the large museum, stopping to examine the exhibits. I talked to him about the history of the pieces I was familiar with and he listened as though he was my student.

I was getting hungry so we made our way to a small pub near the museum for some lunch. We sat at a small table overlooking the busy sidewalk.

"Tell me more about your trip. Where have you been? Where are you going?" Edward inquired.

"Well, this is my first trip to Europe. My roommates, Alice and Rosalie, planned it and I came along. I've always wanted to travel here. I started out in Ireland and am meeting them in Italy as you know. That's about all we'll have time for this trip, sadly. I love learning about other cultures. It's humbling to see what a small piece of the world I live in."

"I feel the same way about traveling. There's so much history here, so much to learn," he nodded. "Are you having a good time?"

_I'm having a great time now that you are here._

"As a matter of fact, I am," I said flirtatiously, feeling the blush creep up on my face. Surely, he'd see through me. "I have a great travel partner."

He smiled and drank his water. I gawked a bit as his mouth curled around the bottle. I wanted to kiss those lips. Even as he spoke, I found myself staring at his lips, imagining how they'd feel against mine.

"So Bella, tell me something about yourself that I don't know," Edward said, grinning at me.

"Well, I'm kind of an open book and not that interesting, I'm afraid," I sighed. He held my gaze, obviously not giving up. "Okay, I grew up as an only child and I had to entertain myself a lot. That's how I ended up doing art. It was a way for me to escape and express myself. Not terribly exciting."

"You're quite resourceful, Bella. I never had to entertain myself, Emmett was always doing the entertaining." He laughed at the thought of his brother.

"I liked your brother very much but you two seem very different," I observed.

"Yeah we are, but we're still close. He's always had my back. At least, when he's not embarrassing me," he said, shaking his head and looking down at his water bottle.

We finished our lunch and headed to the National Gallery and I was blown away by the art. Pictures that I had studied and admired were there and I bounced around from picture to picture, explaining the style and significance of each one. Edward was so sweet and let me ramble on and on while he listened attentively.

At the end of the day, we hopped on the tube to go back to my hotel. I normally loved people watching on the tube, but on this occasion, I couldn't take my eyes off Edward. Even after a day of sightseeing, he looked like a model. His jeans hung low on his hips and he wore a fitted black long sleeved shirt and a gray hoodie. I wanted to peel off all his layers.

He moved closer to me as the train filled up until my chest was almost flush with his. My heart was pounding again being that close to him. I could practically feel his heart beating. I chanced a glance up at his face and he smiled sweetly at me, his hands above his head to hold onto the railing.

_Jesus Christ, he's perfect._

I couldn't remember a time when I had felt so comfortable with someone in such a short period of time. We had spent the entire day laughing and talking as though we'd known each other our whole lives. I didn't want the day to end.

"I didn't even think to ask you, but where are you staying?" I asked Edward. "Do you still have a room now that your brother and Demetri are gone?"

"I'm not sure yet. My stuff is still with the concierge at our hotel, but I don't have anything booked," he admitted, shrugging. "I was going to play it by ear."

"You don't have a place to stay?" I asked, incredulously.

"No, but I'm not worried about it. I still have time to find something," he said, explaining himself. "If push comes to shove, I can stay at a hostel."

"You don't have to do that, you can stay with me," I said, watching his eyes grow wide. I hit him lightly in the chest, "No, I don't mean like _that_. I have a pullout couch in my room that you could sleep on, at least until you find something else tomorrow."

_Or maybe I DO mean like THAT._

"Not that I wouldn't love to stay with you, Bella, " he sighed and flashed me a devilish grin, causing my blood pressure to rise sharply, "but I don't want to impose. I'll find something, don't worry."

"Are you sure, it's no problem. Really, it's fine with me." I thought maybe I sounded a little desperate but I was feeling bad that he had spent the entire day with me when he probably should have spent some time looking for a place to stay.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'll be okay."

We arrived at our stop after continuing to argue over Edward's sleeping arrangements and he walked me to my hotel. He assured me that he was fine and would find a place to sleep. I wished he had accepted my offer, but I also understood that he might not be comfortable with that.

I hoped he at least wanted to see me again. We hadn't discussed anything about future plans and I became nervous as we approached my hotel.

I took several pictures of Edward as he walked, much to his annoyance. I needed to have at least one good picture of him so I could remember the beautiful person who had intrigued me so much. I even stopped a couple on the street to have them take a picture of us in front of my hotel. I looked at the digital display and hoped like hell that those wouldn't be the only pictures I'd have of him.

"Thank you for an amazing day, Bella," Edward said as I put away my camera.

"Thank you for planning such a fun outing," I replied. "It was unexpected and I really enjoyed myself."

"It was my pleasure. I feel like I had my own personal guide given your extensive knowledge of art history." He ran his hand through his hair and I wished I could do the same to him. "It was worth it."

He smirked at me and I almost fell over.

I wanted him to kiss me with every fiber of my being, but he kept himself at a bit of a distance so I didn't push it. I wished I knew what he was thinking. I didn't want him to walk away and never see him again, yet he hadn't said anything about seeing me again. It was unnerving. I thought we'd had a wonderful time and couldn't stand the idea of this being it.

_Just say it, Bella. _

"Edward?" I asked, sheepishly.

"Yeah?" He looked at me, giving me his full attention.

"Tomorrow?" I raised my eyebrows as I shrugged my shoulders nervously.

_Very eloquent, Bella._

He moved closer to me, looking at me intensely and said softly, "Tomorrow, huh?"

He was so close that I could feel the heat from his body.

_Fuck he smells good. Focus, Bella._

"Yeah, tomorrow? With me? Are you interested?" I pressed.

"Yeah, I'm interested." He smiled widely, causing my knees to buckle. "Meet me at the same place as today. Say 9:00 again?"

"You're on, but I'll plan something this time," I replied, being as flirty as I could. "Are you sure you'll be up for it after having slept on a bench in Hyde Park?"

"Believe me, Bella, I'll manage no matter where I sleep."

He turned and walked in the direction of the tube station as I watched his glorious form retreat. He looked over his shoulder after a few feet, "Don't forget, 9:00."

I smiled and waved as he turned and continued to walk.

_Don't worry, Edward. I won't forget. _


	6. Chapter 5 Churches

**A/N: I'm so humbled by the support for this story. I have the best readers! Thank you for the Tweets and recs on blogs. I really appreciate it. One of the hardest things about writing fanfic is getting the story out there, so you have no idea how much I appreciate all your fabulous support. Also, please shoot me a review. Let me know what works or what doesn't. I respond to every review I get! **

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**Chapter 5:**

**June 2003- London**

**EPOV**

We had been at the museums all day and Bella was like a kid in a candy store. She was adorable as she told me all about the art we saw. She practically skipped through the museums and I happily followed, enjoying every minute. She eagerly explained about each piece and its significance in history. When she talked about the art, she positively glowed and her passion for it brought her more to life than anything else I'd seen. I was impressed by her immense knowledge on the subject.

We were both exhausted and so we headed to the tube to make our way back across town to Bella's hotel. The train filled up with people anxious to go home after a long day's work. I inched closer and closer to Bella by necessity but I was enjoying the proximity. I felt her breasts press into my chest and I wanted nothing more than to grab her and pull her into me. She looked at me as though she enjoyed the contact as well.

"I didn't even think to ask you, but where are you staying?" she asked me bluntly. "Do you still have a room now that your brother and Demetri are gone?"

"I'm not sure yet. My stuff is still with the concierge at our hotel, but I don't have anything booked," I said. I had been so preoccupied with Bella that I hadn't even given it a thought. "I was going to play it by ear."

"You don't have a place to stay?" she asked, looking concerned.

I explained to her although I'd love nothing more than to stay with her, I'd be able to find something else. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression of me and frankly, I'm not sure I could have controlled myself if I was sleeping in the same room with Bella. She didn't need to know that though.

I was dreading the end of the day as I had enjoyed my time with her but I thought she'd feel pressured if I came on too strong about seeing her again. I realized that we were both alone, but she obviously had wanted to be alone when she booked the trip. She might not want some guy hanging all over her, which is what I knew would happen if I was allowed unlimited time with Bella. She was simply too tempting to avoid.

"Thank you for an amazing day, Bella," I said as we reached the hotel.

"Thank you for planning such a fun outing," she replied. "It was unexpected and very fun."

_That sounds so final._

I wanted her to understand how much I had enjoyed the day. I didn't want her to think that I was only hanging out with her because we were both alone.

"It was my pleasure. I feel like I had my own personal guide given your extensive knowledge of art. Your passion for it made it very interesting to learn," I said, feeling nervous. "It was worth it."

There was a moment of awkward silence as I wrestled with my inner self over whether or not to kiss her. I didn't want to be an asshole, but God I wanted to kiss her.

She turned and looked at me seriously. "Edward?"

"Yeah?" I turned, anxious to hear what she had to say. I couldn't help but stare at her perfect mouth when she spoke, wondering how soft her lips would be and what she would taste like.

"Tomorrow?"

_Is she asking me to travel with her tomorrow?_

I stepped in toward her, wanting to feel her close to me, wishing I was more bold and said softly, "Tomorrow, huh?" I raised my eyebrow and gave her a devilish grin.

"Yeah, tomorrow. With me. Are you interested?" she said, sounding a little nervous.

_Fuck yes, I am._

"Hmm, another day with you? I think I can handle that," I said, trying to play it cool. "Meet me at the same place as today. Say 9:00 again?"

"You're on, but I'll plan something this time," she replied flirtatiously, looking at me through her eyelashes.

_Jesus Christ, this woman will be the end of me._

"Are you sure you'll be up for it after having slept on a bench in Hyde Park?" she continued.

She didn't seem to understand.

As I stared into her deep brown eyes, my voice dropping even lower in tone than normal and full of intent, I replied to her, "Believe me, Bella, I'll manage no matter where I sleep." With that, I walked off, leaving Bella standing in front of her hotel watching me, her mouth was slightly agape.

_Two can play at the flirting game!_

I walked away toward the tube station to try and find a place to sleep. I truly didn't care if I did sleep on a bench in Hyde Park, because I would be spending another day with Bella and that would keep me happy for the night.

I grabbed my stuff from my old hotel and walked a few blocks until I found a small hotel on a back street. They had vacancy and I made my way upstairs to the small room. I fell onto the bed and thought about my day and my incredible luck.

Bella was going to surprise me the next day but I didn't care if we spent the entire day in my cheap hotel room. I was counting the minutes until 9:00 the next day.

I woke up to my alarm and hopped into the shower, eager to start the day. My dreams must have been good because I woke up as hard as a rock. The warm water helped relax me but I had to do something about my obvious problem. I couldn't remember the last time I had it this bad. It was a good thing I knew very well how to eliminate the issue. With gentle yet forceful strokes and many images of Bella running through my head, it didn't take long. Now, if I could just get the thoughts of water cascading over Bella's breasts, or the feel of her hands all over my body out of my head, I could get out of the shower without any more assistance from Righty. I let the water flow over me until my breathing returned to normal and my thoughts ran clean.

I made quick work of getting dressed and ready for my day with Bella. I was excited as I walked to the tube station, wondering what she had in store for us.

I saw her immediately when I arrived. She looked amazing. Her hair was up in a ponytail with a few pieces hanging down in the front. She wore jeans that fit her perfectly and a red long sleeved shirt. She smiled when she saw me and I couldn't contain my own smile.

"Well, good morning Edward," she said. "How was Hyde Park?"

"Once I got used to the cold, it was fine. A few homeless people fought me for a bench, but I won out," I joked.

"I'm glad to hear it," she said with a smile. "You ready to go?"

"Absolutely, what's on the agenda?" I inquired.

"Today is all about castles and churches."

"Well, lead the way."

We made our way to Buckingham Palace first, where we watched the changing of the guard. Several little kids tried to distract the guard but he held firm and didn't move a muscle. The palace itself was smaller than I had expected but very beautiful.

"Can you imagine what it would be like to live here?" Bella asked, in awe of the magnificent building.

"Yeah, it would be like a prison." I was not a fan of the royal family. They all looked tortured ninety percent of the time.

"I love following the royal family, especially since William is close to my age. I can't imagine what it must be like for him," Bella said.

"Don't tell me that you're in love with the prince. Seems like he's got quite the following," I said, sarcastically.

"Well, who isn't in love with the prince? He's the whole package- looks, brains and body. Plus, he actually seems like a nice guy."

Now I really hated the royals.

"You like fairy tales too, I suppose," I chided. "Personally, I don't get what all the hype is about. He's just another guy, who happens to live his tragic life in the media for all to witness. That doesn't sound enjoyable to me."

"When did you become such a cynic?" She grabbed the gate and peered through. "I think it would be a trip to be royal, with everyone always waiting on you hand and foot."

"Well, every royal I've seen looks positively miserable." She shot me a dirty look and walked away, as I followed, laughing.

We walked to Westminster Abbey next and I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. To see it in a picture is one thing, but in person it is stunning. Even the crypt, with its thousand year old tombs was incredible. Bella was in awe of the place and I enjoyed watching her face as we perused the sights. She was taking it all in.

We left the church and were going to take a boat up the river to get to St. Paul's cathedral. It was the last major site we'd see for the day and I had heard it was also very beautiful and grand.

I grabbed Bella's hand to run across the street but when we got there, I couldn't bring myself to let go. I felt this electric current running between us as our hands wove together. I couldn't let go of her. She didn't protest and I enjoyed the feeling of her delicate fingers intertwined with mine. I looked over at her and smiled, hoping she would allow me to continue. It was such a minor thing, to hold her hand, but it was the first time I touched her and I didn't want to stop.

We walked to the riverboat and boarded, breaking our hold on each other. She walked to the front of the boat and stood at the railing. We set off up the river, pointing out the various sites along the way.

I helped Bella out of the boat and she walked slightly ahead of me. Her hips swayed with each step and I was mesmerized. The wind was blowing her hair and she reached up to fix her ponytail. Her shirt clung to her breasts as her arms lifted and her neck looked long and thin. A brief image from my morning shower hit me. I almost reached out to grab her, but resisted the powerful urge.

Pulled from my gawking, I sped up and walked beside her. Her hand was swaying next to mine as we walked and I slowly reached out and grabbed it. She glanced down at our joined hands and smiled. My heart was pounding and I wanted to stop walking, push her up against the first building I saw and kiss her. That was something that Emmett would do, not me. But I did want to.

St. Paul's was just as beautiful as I had heard. Leading up to the front, the grand steps set the scale for the inside. We walked up the stairs to the rotunda to get a bird's eye view. Upon exiting the stairway, Bella was immediately scared of the height.

"Oh God, Edward. I can't do this," she stammered as her voice cracked and her knees buckled.

I quickly grabbed her hips to steady her and brought her back flush to my chest. I was instantly hit with Bella's intoxicating smell. Her hair smelled fruity and I wanted nothing more than to inhale her wonderful scent, but thought better of it. I didn't want her to think I was a freak and taking advantage of her.

"Don't worry, I've got you," I said, hoping to ease her fears.

Gradually, she eased closer into me almost resting against me. When she became comfortable enough, she gently put her hands down on the side of my thighs and began to move around the small walkway. She was still flush against my chest and held onto me like an anchor that would keep her safe.

Bella quickly had enough of the high vantage point, so we made our way down. She was very embarrassed about her "abnormal reaction" to the heights and thanked me for helping her. What she didn't realize is that I was oblivious to anything except the feel of her against me. I couldn't even remember what we saw from the rotunda.

After we left the church, I suggested we grab a quick bite to eat so we found a small café and sat down to eat. The food was weird, but edible. The company was fabulous. Yesterday our conversation was easy but mostly superficial. We discussed our likes and dislikes, our favorite things, what books we liked, and musical choices. Today, our conversation was just as easy yet more intimate. We discussed feelings, families, shared childhood stories. I learned about her colorful mother, Renee, and her loving and protective father, Charlie. She always asked me the most interesting and unusual questions. She made me feel like I was the most interesting person on the planet.

The day was coming to an end, much to my chagrin. We took our time getting back to her hotel, walking slowly hand in hand through the busy streets. The sun was getting low in the sky but it was much later than it felt. I wondered how the goodbye would go with us. Would she invite me to stay again? If she did, would I accept? Would she let me kiss her?

We finally stopped at the front of her hotel as she looked up at me and squeezed me hand.

"I really had a fantastic time with you today," she said softly.

"Me too. Thanks for doing all the legwork," I replied.

"Edward, I don't want to wonder at the end of each day if I'm going to see you again."

I moved closer to her, liking her train of thought. "What are you suggesting?" I said coyly.

"I'm suggesting that maybe we just assume we'll be traveling together. If that's all right with you?" Her voice cracked as though she was unsure.

"Bella, I would love to do that. I was beginning to hate the walk back to your hotel at the end of the day, honestly." I smiled and squeezed her hand.

"Good, then it's settled." She flashed me a sexy smile and said, "I'll meet you tomorrow- same place, same time."

"I'll look forward to it," I said truthfully. I leaned down and kissed her cheek softly as I inhaled her sweet scent for the last time today. "I've got to go claim my bench before someone takes it."

She chuckled and squeezed my hand then turned and walked toward the front door of the hotel. I watched her disappear into her hotel, already feeling the loss of her company. She was simply the most intriguing person I had ever met and I wanted more. I longed for the day when I could hold her in my arms and explore every inch of her body. Until then though, it was going to have to be enough to think about the way her hand fit into mine, her soft skin, her amazing scent, and the feel of her against my chest.

_Until tomorrow, Bella._


	7. Chapter 6 Shock

**A/N: **

**You guys have no idea how happy it makes me that you are enjoying the story! This story has gone in a lot of different directions since I first planned it out. A lot of the changes you haven't seen yet, but it's changed quite a bit. Much of that is due to your reviews and comments. I read every one and defnintely make adjustments to future chapters. So, please let me know your thoughts! **

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**Chapter 6:**

**April 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

I had gone out with Emmett and Lauren and Tanya. We were planning on meeting Jasper and the girl he'd been dating for an after dinner drink. I had been working non-stop and was exhausted, but I needed a night out with my friends in order to feel normal. I also wanted to meet the girl that had Jasper walking around with that stupid grin on his face.

As we sat at the bar waiting, I saw the girls' faces change to recognition, indicating Jasper's arrival. I stood, politely, and turned to greet him. My face fell and time stood still as my eyes fixed on his date.

_Bella._

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Emmett and his friend Lauren, and this is Edward and his friend Tanya," Jasper said, energetic as usual.

_Jasper's her boyfriend? Jasper?_

She looked as stunning as I remembered. I hadn't seen her in five years but I had certainly thought about her plenty in that time and she was just as breathtaking as she had been so long ago. This was like something out of a nightmare that she'd be standing in front of me as my good friend's girlfriend. I instinctively put out my hand to shake hers but she looked just as frozen as I was. She reluctantly outstretched her hand as she spoke softly.

"Actually…we've…uh…met before. It's been a while though," she said meekly.

_Yes Bella, we've met before. We've touched before. We've kissed before. We've loved before._

Emmett obviously recognized the girl who had captivated me all those years before and jumped in, saving me from my humiliating display.

Emmett hugged her tightly as I watched, still in shock over seeing her again.

My body heat had risen drastically when I shook Bella's hand. The same electricity was still present even after all this time. I could still feel it linger in my palm. I needed to do something to ease the tension that I was feeling and desperately hoped that no one was picking up on.

"It has been a while. It's nice to see you, Bella," I said as calmly as I possibly could.

I would have given anything to know what she was thinking at that moment. Did she feel the electricity too? Her face blushed and I felt all the emotions from five years before coming to the surface. I'd tried to suppress my feelings for her when I came back to the States. Our situation was futile back then, yet I had not had a relationship with anyone in the last five years that could compare to what we had. Living without her had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do and now she was standing in front of me, unknowingly taunting me with my best friend.

After the introductions were made, we all sat down and I tried to make the conversation seem natural. I would occasionally catch Bella's glance and we'd both look away. Jasper touched Bella as any boyfriend would, but my blood was boiling at the sight. I was insanely jealous, even though I knew I had no right to be. I was only halfway paying attention to the conversation, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

_God, I need another drink._

Bella started talking about her work as an art consultant and I hung on her every word. I remembered fondly how passionate she was about it and was glad to know that she had ended up in a field where she had so much talent. I wished I hadn't missed the last five years.

Tanya chimed in about visiting Bella at her gallery and it immediately became clear to me that it must look like she and I were a couple. Bella's glances told me that she believed that as well.

_I wonder if that bothers her, the way seeing her with Jasper is bothering me._

Although I enjoyed Tanya's company, we had never dated, much to her dismay. Our families had been friends forever and always hoped we'd end up together. Tanya had pursued me when we were younger, but it was never going to happen. I felt sibling devotion, not romance, with her. We ended up as each other's dates a lot, both of us being single, but we were just friends.

Jasper and Bella got up to dance as I glared from my chair. His hands caressed her back as his lips grazed her shoulder. He pulled her close to him as they swayed to the music. My body heat rose again wishing more than anything that I could have her that close to me just one more time. I remembered vividly dancing so close with her, feeling her breasts against my chest and inhaling the scent of her hair. Her skin had been so soft against my touch and against my lips. Her graceful fingers had spread wide caressing my hair as I spun her around the dance floor. And then she was gone and so were her touches.

I was young when we were in Europe and didn't realize that love like that didn't happen everyday. My past experiences before Europe didn't compare. I thought I had been in love but no one had made me feel the way Bella did.

I had no way of knowing at the time how profoundly Bella had changed me. No one I dated could compare. I had resigned myself that no one ever would and I only hoped that I could still find a way to move on and be happy. I hoped Bella would be happy too. As much as I couldn't stand the thought of her with someone else, she deserved happiness.

After returning to Los Angeles, it took me a while to even be interested in another woman. I ended up dating as I felt I should, but no one made me feel the things that Bella had. No one understood me the way Bella had. We had shared something wonderful and unique. Would Bella have any idea how much I still cared for her? How much I had always cared for her?

_Why would she? You haven't seen or talked to her in years._

I shouldn't have been shocked that Bella had a boyfriend. I guess I secretly hoped that she'd have waited for me and that she'd recognized just how special what we had was. But, of course, that was selfish and unrealistic. She was beautiful and smart and lit up a room. All the times that Jasper had talked about her suddenly came to my mind. I realized then that it wasn't shock about her having a boyfriend that was coursing through my body, it was jealousy.

After his first date with her, he had come home and wouldn't shut up about how great she was. The thought of Bella being that girl that he gushed about made me crazy. I'd never been more thankful than I was at that point that Jasper wasn't one of those guys who talked about his sex life. I couldn't handle knowing details about him being with my Bella. Thinking of him touching her made me see red.

I wanted desperately to do something, anything, to get Bella back but I couldn't do that to Jasper. He was a good friend and didn't deserve that. I suppose it was payback for being such a fool all those years before. Because of my stupidity then, now I would have to suffer by watching my Bella with my best friend.

Bella and Jasper left the bar and I pounded two more drinks to help numb my head. My memories and my emotions were too much to handle. I couldn't think about it anymore. Tanya was completely oblivious to my agony, but Emmett was not. I could see him eyeing me throughout the night and knew that he'd caught on. The girls went to the restroom before we left and Emmett saw his chance to confront me and wasted no time.

"So Edward, Bella and Jasper?" he started, "What are the odds?"

"A million to fucking one," I said, shaking my head and running my hand through my hair. "Why did it have to be Jasper? Fuck." I could feel the hostility rolling off of me.

"What are you so upset about? She's some girl you hooked up with five years ago for like two days. Do you really still have feelings for her?" Emmett asked bluntly.

I could tell that Emmett was just trying to bait me so he could gauge my reaction, but I couldn't stop myself after hearing those words about Bella.

"Fuck you, Emmett. She's not 'some girl' and it was more than a hook up and you damn well know that. Shit! You'd think I'd be over her, but seeing her with him…fuck," I wiped my face with my hands in frustration.

"Edward, I do know what she meant to you. I remember how devastated you were after we got back from Europe. But, she's with Jasper. You can't do anything that would fuck things up between them. You have to get over it."

"I know I do," I sighed. "I just didn't expect to see her again, let alone with him."

The girls returned from the bathroom, rescuing me from my conversation with Emmett. I knew that the conversation wasn't over, but it bought me some time. I drank a little more, okay a lot more than usual as the night wore on. We all said goodnight. I knew I would see Bella again and I wasn't looking forward to it being as Jasper's date. What a shitty friend I was, thinking of only my own discomfort instead of being happy for them. They deserved happiness.

I barely got any rest. Thoughts of Bella kept floating through my head. Memories of our time together were so vivid. I could almost feel her soft skin as I kissed her below her ear in my dreams. I woke with dread knowing that she was probably being kissed and it wasn't by me. Around six, I gave up trying to sleep. I left our house early to get some coffee hoping that it would make my hangover go away and that this would end up being some bad dream that never really happened. I wasn't prepared to face Jasper and I didn't know if Bella had stayed the night. I'd never seen her stay over before obviously, but I couldn't bear to run into her coming out of Jasper's room with him. That would most certainly push me over the edge.

After what I thought was a safe amount of time, I returned to our apartment and unfortunately ran into Jasper in the kitchen. He looked sullen, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Hey Edward," Jasper said, peering up over his paper.

"Hi Jasper."

I had no idea what to say to him. "I fell in love with your girlfriend in Europe and think I might still love her," just didn't seem like the right approach.

"Last night was interesting," he said. "I thought things went well, at least at first. What did you think of Bella?"

_You really don't want to know._

"Well, I knew her before. She was nice back then and she didn't seem to have changed much," I said, hoping he'd drop it.

"That's right. How weird that you knew Bella before you even moved here."

"Yeah, we met when I went to Europe with Emmett and Demetri right before you started at UCLA," I said, keeping the details brief and looking around the room nervously. "Is…Bella here?"

"Bella? No, she's not here." He shook his head and furrowed his brow. "She called me this morning to meet her for coffee and when I got there, she broke up with me."

_Holy shit._

"I'm sorry. That sucks," I lied.

"Yeah, tell me about it. The worst part is that I have no idea what happened. I thought we were doing well." He shrugged. "I thought we were having fun last night. Hell, I don't know. I guess I should have seen it coming. She was acting weird when I dropped her off. She didn't even kiss me goodnight."

_Thank God for small favors._

"I didn't notice anything either. You guys seemed to be having fun to me."

_Could this conversation get any worse?_

"She's amazing, and I could totally picture myself with her." He looked distraught as he spoke. "I really thought she could be 'the one', you know? I'm at that point in my life where I'm ready to settle down. I'm sick of random dating. I know what I want and she has it all. Ah, who the hell knows…"

I tried to be empathetic to Jasper. I felt bad that he was hurt by the breakup but I couldn't help but feel happy that he wasn't dating her anymore. I wondered if it had anything to do with me. The timing would certainly be coincidental- one night she's happy with Jasper, then she runs into me and suddenly she breaks up with him. It was probably wishful thinking, but it gave me a glimmer of hope. Hope for what, I wasn't sure. I wouldn't hurt Jasper so nothing could come of it.

_You're such an asshole._

I wandered into my room and dug through my pants from the night before. Bella's business card stared back at me. I wanted to call her. I wanted to hear her voice. I had no idea what I would say, but I had to see her. I felt like I owed her an explanation. I wanted her to know that I hadn't forgotten her; that my memories of loving her were some of the fondest of my life.

I walked over to my closet and pulled down the tattered shoe box that I'd carried around with me for years. Sitting on the bed, I carefully opened it and thumbed through the countless letters that had gone unmailed- letters to Bella. I wrote tirelessly about my hopes to see her again but never found the strength to mail them. The letters contained all of my thoughts about Europe and my life without her and even my choice of cities for my residency. I confessed that I had loved her in Paris, but was too afraid to tell her. The situation between us back then made it difficult for both of us. She had no idea that the letters existed, nor would she.

I nervously grabbed my cell phone, slumped down on the bed and dialed the number. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest.

"Thank you for calling the Alcala Gallery, this is Bella Swan." Her voice was just as low and silky as I remembered, and it made my heart pound even harder to hear her.

"Bella?" I said as my voice cracked. "It's Edward."

There was a long silence on the phone. I could hear her breathing and clearing her throat, formulating a response.

"Hello Edward," she replied softly. "What can I do for you?"

"I just talked to Jasper…I…can we meet…I just…there are things that need to be said." I stammered.

She sighed deeply. "I don't know, Edward. What's there to say?"

"Please, Bella. I haven't seen you in five years. I was completely thrown for a loop when you showed up last night."

She chuckled lightly as if she could identify with my feelings.

"Tell me about it," she exhaled a long soft breath, "since the last time I talked to you, you lived in Los Angeles."

"Will you please meet me?" I pressed, hoping I sounded sincere and not totally desperate.

The silence seemed like forever. "All right, Edward, I'll meet you," she said finally. "I get off work at 6:00."

I was relieved that she agreed to meet me, but now I was even more nervous. We arranged to meet at a coffee shop around the corner. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I wouldn't let her walk out of my life for the second time. That much I knew.

"Edward?" she asked before hanging up.

"Yes?"

"Will you just answer me this one question?" she asked nervously, stumbling on her words.

_Anything for you. _

She continued, "You've been living in Seattle for months now and have never tried to contact me. Why now?"

Right then I knew she had been thinking of me too. And I was going to make sure she knew the truth.

When my voice came out, I didn't recognize it as my own, "You're wrong Bella. I did try to contact you."


	8. Chapter 7 The Tower

**A/N: You guys already know how much I love you! All the Tweets, recs, reviews and alerts have literally made my week. You have no idea! Please let me know what you think of the story by leaving me a review. It's the only way I know if you are enjoying the story! **

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**Chapter 7:**

**June 2003- London**

**BPOV**

"So, what's on the agenda today?" I asked Edward playfully, as soon as we met the next morning.

"I have no idea, but there's still plenty to see," he responded, grabbing my hand as we walked down the street to get a bite to eat. He started holding my hand yesterday. His innocent, yet affectionate gesture had me positively giddy. I felt like I must have had a stupid grin plastered on my face, but he didn't seem to notice.

"What about shopping?" I asked tentatively. "Before you say no, the shopping here is supposed to be unlike any other place. It's an experience."

I gave him my sweetest smile so he'd acquiesce.

"Okay Bella, I'll go shopping with you, but you owe me one." He raised an eyebrow at me and grinned.

_I'll give you whatever you want. _

He looked positively gorgeous as usual. He had black jeans on that hugged him in all the right places. His brown shirt peeked out of his black leather bomber jacket. He looked like he had skipped shaving, which gave him that sexy, disheveled look. His hair was perfectly tousled and I wanted to run my fingers through it.

"I thought we'd start at Harrods, which is supposed to be incredible. Then maybe we can go to Notting Hill," I said strategically.

"You're the boss; I'm just along for the ride." He smiled crookedly at me.

_Why is it that when he says ride all I can think of is straddling him and riding him hard?_

"Bella, what are you thinking about? You just turned ten shades of red," he asked.

I felt the heat rising to my face having been caught thinking very naughty thoughts about him.

"Wouldn't you like to know," I said with as much confidence as my embarrassment would allow.

"Yes, yes I would," he laughed at me. "Whatever it was, it must have been good to make you blush like that."

Thankfully, we arrived at our usual restaurant just in time for me to avoid the conversation. We finished eating without further reference to earlier and walked slowly to Harrods. I had never seen anything like it before. It was a huge department store with absolutely everything you could imagine. It would be easy to get lost in a place like that. I stopped by a hat display and tried on the colorful hats as Edward laughed.

"We don't have hats like this in the US. I wish we did." I said, posing dramatically for Edward. "I love them; they're so vibrant and fun. Don't you think?"

"You look fabulous, darling," Edward responded in his best English accent.

"Hey, you don't sound half bad as a Brit," I said, a little astonished, "and you know how we American girls LOVE Brits."

"Well then, I guess I'll have to speak in a British accent for the rest of the day." He put on a Fedora and winked at me.

He was so adorable when he flirted with me. We had been going back and forth with the flirting since the night we met at the pub and it was getting to the point where I just wanted to jump him. I'd catch him staring at me when he didn't know I was looking and I did the same to him. I couldn't help it; he was so sexy and devastatingly handsome. I wasn't sure why he hadn't made any attempt to kiss me, but I couldn't stand it much longer. If I had known he was so serious about being a perfect gentleman, I never would have agreed to torture myself with his company…okay that's bullshit, but at least I would have been more prepared.

We spent a couple of hours in Harrods, looking through all the amazing things they had. I bought a few new things since all I had were my backpacking clothes and sports bras. I blushed as we past the lingerie department. That was one area of my wardrobe that needed some improvement but I was too self-conscious to linger there with this gorgeous boy. And it might have been wishful thinking that Edward was going to see my skivvies.

I hadn't expected to meet someone that I'd want to impress, but since I was spending so much time with Edward, I thought I should try and look somewhat presentable. Edward had been a trooper, following me around the store while I tried on a million outfits.

"You look like you're bored out of your mind" I said, while trying to contain a giggle as I looked at Edward who was slumped down in a chair outside the fitting rooms. I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "All right, I'll put you out of your misery."

He put his hands together like he was praying and looked up towards the sky, pretending to thank God for small favors.

"As much as I'm enjoying the fashion show, I think I need to walk. My feet are taking turns falling asleep," Edward teased.

"Hey," I said, pretending to be angry, as I extended my hand to him, "it wasn't that bad, was it?"

"It would have been much more enjoyable if I was allowed into the changing room," he said with a devilish grin as he grabbed my hand.

I feigned shock and gently slapped his bicep with my free hand. "Perv! Let's go," I said, as I dragged him behind me. "We passed a music store on the way here that looked interesting."

We found the funky little music shop and each of us took off to peruse the rows and rows of records. They had a huge selection of older music that was hard to find. I found a bunch of albums that I'd love to have, but I didn't have the room to carry them so I couldn't buy them, sadly. Edward had also found a few that interested him. Since we couldn't take the albums with us we decided to enjoy them in the listening booth at the back of the store.

Edward loved music and I could see it in his eyes when we were in the booth. It seemed to calm him and he gushed about the memories that each song brought back. I loved seeing him that way, inspired and calm. Music must have been Edward's way of dealing with the stresses of his daily life. It suited his nature.

We eventually ended up in Notting Hill where the eclectic shops lined the streets. We found a pub and grabbed a beer and lunch before tackling more shopping.

"So, I feel like I'm an open book, but you are very mysterious" I admitted shyly.

"What do you want to know?" he asked as he smiled at me and grabbed my hands across the table. As he did this, I couldn't stop the smile that slipped onto my face.

"Tell me about your family." I casually requested.

"Well, you know Emmett. He's a year older than I am and as you already noticed, quite different than I am. He's more like my mom, Esme. I'm very close to my mom; she just gets me."

He smiled widely as he spoke about his family. It was endearing. "My mom and dad have been married almost 30 years and have always been very supportive of both Emmett and me. As I told you the other day, my dad is a doctor and I admire him a lot. He's the man I aspire to be. He's a good husband, a firm father, and he's incredibly kind to everyone he encounters. I admire him completely."

"What were you like as a child?" I probed further.

"Me? I was actually a pretty quiet kid. Emmett got into most of the trouble in our house. Big surprise there, huh? I took piano lessons for most of my childhood. I miss it, the piano. I haven't played much since I started medical school. There's no time, as is the case with most things these days. For the most part, I think I was a pretty boring kid. I didn't get into trouble, did well in school. See? Boring."

_No Edward, I highly doubt you were boring._

I could picture Edward as a child, growing up in Emmett's shadow. He was straight-laced but every now and then when we were together I could catch a glimpse of a rebellious streak. He thought of himself as reserved but I hadn't seen that side of him. I loved his sarcastic sense of humor and dry wit. He'd been very outgoing with me since we met and although he didn't offer up personal information, he was open when I directly asked him something. I wanted to know everything about him.

"Your family sounds great, Edward," I sighed. "You're very lucky." I stopped myself from wondering if I would ever have a chance to meet more of Edward's family. I wanted to stay in the moment.

"I know I am. That's part of the reason why I push myself so hard. I want to make them proud, you know?" He looked down and fidgeted as though it was hard for him to admit.

"I'm sure they're very proud of you. Just look at all you've done. Hell, I'm proud of you and I just met you," I joked, trying to put him at ease.

"You know me better after just a few days than a lot of people do after years." He squeezed my hands. "It usually takes me longer to open up to people and to get to know them, but I feel like it's been easy with you."

"I feel the same way, and I've enjoyed getting to know you. I'm happy that we've been able to spend so much time together," I replied.

"It's been my pleasure, believe me," he said, smirking.

The flirting was getting out of control and I was starting to get frustrated. Why hadn't he kissed me? So far, the only thing we'd done is hold hands and, although it was wonderful, it was falling a little short. If something didn't happen soon, I was going to burst. I stared at him constantly, and I couldn't stop imagining how his lips would feel on mine, or how soft his hair would be when I ran my fingers through it. To make matters worse, his jeans fit him so damn well and I ogled him whenever he wasn't looking. I felt like a hormonal teenager.

We spent the next few hours walking around the shops of Notting Hill, feeling no rush to do anything. It was nice to have no agenda and no place to be. I laughed more than I had in a long time.

We were walking along the sidewalk when Edward suddenly stopped, slightly tugging on my arm, and gazed at me.

"Have you been to the Tower of London?" Edward asked.

"No, but it looked amazing the other day from the boat. Do you want to go?" I asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well, I wanted to surprise you, but I have tickets to the key ceremony this evening and I'd love it if we could go." He produced an envelope from his jacket pocket and showed it to me.

He explained to me that the locking of the Tower of London had been the same ceremony every night since the days of Anne Boleyn. I enjoyed the formality and tradition and was excited to see the ceremony.

We hopped on the tube and headed toward the imposing old prison.

The Tower of London was ripe with history and we walked around amazed at the previous occupants and stories surrounding them. I could have spent an entire day there, walking the mysterious halls and chambers. The Yeoman Warders and their costumes gave the Tower an air of decorum, so ever-present in London.

I stopped to check out the Traitor's Gate and thought about how terrifying it must have been to have entered the prison through the water, knowing that it was likely that you would not ever leave. The prison's grisly history was humbling. I shivered from the cold that had seeped in as the day wore on. If I had known we were going to stay out this late, I would have brought a heavier jacket. Edward noticed and offered me his jacket, the constant gentlemen.

"No, thank you. You keep it," I said my arms crossing my chest, "but if you want, you can keep me warm."

_Where did that come from?_

Without hesitation, Edward unzipped his jacket, opened the front and wrapped it around me with his arms. I huddled into him gently, allowing the smell of him to envelope me. Standing there in his arms, pressed against his warm body, I was completely lost in him. We stood like that for several moments. No words were spoken, thankfully, because I couldn't have formed a coherent sentence.

Finally, I broke the silence. "This place is amazing, Edward. Thank you for bringing me here." I leaned away from Edward and his warm arms to look over the railing at the submerged gate. Then I turned to face Edward, who was still standing behind me, watching me intently.

He lifted his hand and rested his palm on the side of my face, his fingers slipping behind my head, low on my neck. As if in slow motion, he leaned in, tilting his head and pressed his lips to mine. He hesitated just for a moment and pulled back slightly while licking his lips. His breath smelled sweet as he exhaled sharply and then moved in again, this time deepening the contact. My heart was pounding and I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.

_God, he tastes good._

His lips were soft against mine and moved with deliberation. He parted them slowly and paused, as if asking permission from me. I followed suit and allowed my tongue to graze his lips. With that, he used his free hand to pull my overheating body tightly against him. His other hand, still around my neck, pulled my face to his, bringing me as close to him as possible. My body melted into his, needing to be closer.

I didn't care that we were in a public place. It was the most perfect kiss I had ever had and certainly the most anticipated one. It was as if everyone else just disappeared, only he and I existed.

We moved in syncopated rhythm with each other as if rehearsed. His tongue danced with mine. I could feel his chest against my own as it rose and fell with each of his elevated breaths. Slowly, he broke the kiss and looked at me with hooded eyes that were filled with lust.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he admitted, resting his forehead against mine.

_No shit._

I smiled and hummed in pleasure, "What took you so long?"

His arms were now both wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against him tightly.

"I wanted it to be perfect. I'm like that, sorry," he said as he flashed me his sexy smile.

"Well, I think you succeeded in that. It was perfect," I confessed, still reeling from the kiss.

He leaned in again and gave me another passionate kiss, then sighed as he pulled away, still holding me tightly and running his long fingers across my back.

"I plan on doing a lot of that, if you don't mind," he said, breathily.

_He's so fucking sexy._

"Hmm, I certainly hope so," I said, as I leaned against his broad chest.

As much as I had been dying for Edward to kiss me, I knew he was a gentleman and was taking his time. It was worth the wait. I trusted him completely. I appreciated his attention to detail and that he wanted our first kiss to be perfect. Location, timing, everything about the kiss was perfect and so far everything about Edward was perfect.

I felt like I was in uncharted territory with Edward. I had only known him for such a short time and yet my feelings for him were growing stronger than I ever thought possible. He made me feel so alive and so interesting. He was attentive and caring and the more I knew of him, the more I wanted to know. I had no idea what the future held for us, but I was happy to enjoy whatever time I could with him.

I had never met someone who intrigued me as much as he did. I was completely falling for him. It scared the shit out of me to have such intense feelings for someone so soon after meeting him but I didn't want to spend the entire week together fretting about things. Our time was limited; I had to just let go, enjoy the time we had together, and see what happened. Wasn't that what I had said I wanted to do this week- see where the current took me? Well, it was becoming very obvious that the current was sweeping me away, and I was helpless to stop it.

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**A/N: So, what did you think of the kiss? Was it worth the wait for you? **


	9. Chapter 8 Surprise

**A/N: I'm overwhelmed by your support. Thanks so much for the reviews and alert adds! Please drop me a review to let me know what you think of the story. Even if it's short, I really appreciate it! **

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 8:**

**June 2003- London**

**EPOV**

When Bella suggested we go shopping, I wanted to protest, but she looked so cute, looking up at me with those pleading brown eyes that I couldn't. Truth be told, Harrods was pretty amazing and I was glad that I was dragged to see it. Of course, I'd never let Bella know that. I liked her being somewhat indebted to me so I joked with her about how bored I was. Besides, I thought I would let her have her way during the day so we could do what I had planned that night.

We actually had a lot of fun together even though she spent what seemed like hours trying on a million different outfits. I may have looked uncomfortable waiting for her but that was because I was trying to restrain myself from climbing into the dressing room with her. She looked great in everything, which wasn't helping my need to adjust my ever-present erection.

_She's going to be the death of me._

I mentally kicked myself for hoping she'd stop at the lingerie section but was actually thankful she only paused briefly. She was making it extremely hard for me to be a gentleman and I didn't need to imagine Bella in various states of undress any more than I already had been.

No one had ever made me work this hard either and I liked it. I regularly had women throwing themselves at me, which was a total turn off. Bella was different. Even though she was independent and adventurous, she could be shy and she definitely wasn't the sort of woman who threw herself at anyone. She seemed to be enjoying herself and sending signals that she was attracted to me as well. When we agreed to be travel partners I was relieved that I could stop questioning if she wanted to spend more time with me.

The last few days with Bella had been wonderful, but incredibly frustrating. Bella is gorgeous and intelligent, with a kick-ass body. As if that weren't enough to frustrate any red-blooded man, she tortured me by flirting constantly with me. I wanted her more than I'd ever wanted anyone, but I didn't want to take advantage of the situation. She agreed to travel with me and put her trust in me based on my promise that I would be the perfect gentleman.

_What was I thinking when I made that promise?_

I knew that I wouldn't let too much time go by before I made a move, but I wanted the timing to be right. I could be patient for a little while longer, so she'd know I was sincere.

Or so I thought.

All day long, she'd been teasing me, flinging her hair around and releasing its heavenly scent. She'd been playful with me, looking at me through hooded eyes and licking her lips suggestively while she spoke. It had been a game of cat and mouse the entire day and I dished it out as much as she did. I wouldn't be able to wait much longer as my control was slipping, and slipping fast.

I'd had the tickets to the key ceremony since I planned the trip. I actually had three of them, not knowing that Emmett and Demetri wouldn't be with me. The tickets were difficult to get, but this was something I really wanted to see and I thought that Bella would really enjoy it. I wanted to surprise her. I hoped she'd be excited. I had to be certain if I acted on my attraction to Bella that it was at just the right moment. She deserved that but she wasn't making it easy.

Bella was stunning. She had worn dark, fitted jeans tucked into a pair of brown suede boots. The jeans accentuated her curves and left little to the imagination. Her red fitted long sleeve shirt made her lips look luscious and equally red. They were perfectly kissable. Her hair was pulled back in the front but free-flowing in the back and matched the lightweight, brown leather jacket she wore. She was lovely and I felt lucky to be with her.

As we walked around the Tower of London, she seemed to be taunting me with her natural allure. Nothing about her was phony and everything about her was enticing. It was all I could do not to slam her against a wall and take her right there. She was making me crazy with every glance, every smile, and every innocent touch of her hand. I had to have her.

When she was cold and I held her in my arms against the railing in front of the Traitor's Gate, I decided to seize the moment. She felt more amazing than I had imagined her to feel in my arms. She was soft and warm, and she looked so happy. When she leaned over to look at the gate, then turned to glance at me, she didn't look away. I moved in closer and pressed my lips to hers. She tasted so sweet. As I held her close to me, I could feel her heart beating against my chest. I was completely lost in the feel of her lips on mine. I was so taken aback by the power of her kiss that I hesitated for a moment to catch my breath.

She was spectacular.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," I said, bringing her as close to me as I could.

"What took you so long?" she asked me, squeezing me tightly.

With my lips to her ear, I admitted almost in a whisper, "I wanted it to be perfect. I'm like that, sorry."

Call me a sap but I had thought a lot about how I wanted our first kiss to be. I wanted the moment to be right so she'd know how much she'd come to mean to me. My life in the last couple of days had been completely turned upside down by Bella.

"Well, I think you succeeded in that. It was perfect," she sighed.

_I'm so glad, Bella. _

I kissed her sweetly and said, "I plan on doing a lot of that, if you don't mind."

"Hmm, I certainly hope so," she replied, resting her head against my chest.

Her body fit seamlessly with mine and I wanted to envelope her and keep her in my arms forever. Kissing her was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. She was feminine and soft, yet powerful and passionate. If kissing her was so overwhelming, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to sleep with her, something I most certainly intended to do.

"Bella, the world melts away when I'm kissing you," I confessed after we had been kissing for a few minutes, completely unaware of our surroundings.

She moaned softly and pressed into me, my breath hitching in response. I could have listened to that sexy moan over and over and I was determined to hear it again. I didn't care how long it took or how long I had to wait.

We watched the pomp and circumstance of the key ceremony in rapt silence and afterward, we meandered out of the Tower and onto the street. Despite the lateness of the hour, I was hungry so we made our way to a nearby restaurant. It was lively and obviously popular. We waited a few minutes for a table as we sipped on martinis at the bar.

We sat down at a small table by the window that was illuminated with a small votive candle, which cast a glow on Bella's beautiful face. I reached across the table with my hands extended and she slid her soft hands into mine and squeezed.

"I've had an incredible time with you, Bella," I said affectionately.

_That's the understatement of the year._

"Me too Edward," she said, smiling. "I have a confession to make though. If you didn't kiss me today, I was seriously going to explode."

"So, how'd I do?" I asked, as I smirked flirtatiously at her.

She turned her head down towards the table looking at our hands. Her mouth turned into the cutest smile that I felt in my chest, and then she looked up at me through her eyelashes and shyly said, "As far as first kisses go, I'd say that one was pretty incredible."

_I wonder if she has any idea what she does to me?_

The food came and our conversation continued to be playful and easy. I had never been around someone where the conversation flowed as it did with Bella.

"Edward, I'm curious," Bella asked timidly, "have you ever been in love?"

"Yes, once. But it was definitely for the best that we broke up." I confessed, nervously. "What about you?"

_I didn't want to hear the answer._

"Yes, I have. I dated this guy Jacob for a few years, but he ended up cheating on me and so we broke up," she said rather quickly, as if trying to skip over the subject while she picked at her plate.

I felt a surge of jealousy rise in me. Did she just say that some douchebag cheated on her? I couldn't imagine anyone cheating on Bella. I didn't want to think about another guy kissing her the way that I had or having her in ways that I hadn't. I felt instantly possessive over her and wished I could have saved her from the heartbreak of some stupid boy.

"I'm sorry you were hurt. He sounds like a total jackass who didn't deserve you to begin with. His loss is definitely my gain so I can't be all that sorry that you broke up," I said, squeezing her hands.

"It was a while ago, Edward. You can't go through life without some heartbreak. I learned from that experience. I know what I want now," she said with such incredible confidence.

_Really?_

"You wouldn't by any chance want a twenty-something struggling med-student with a loud mouthed brother and unruly hair, would you?" I asked with my lopsided grin that she seemed to respond to so well.

She raised her right eyebrow high and smiled. "Hmm, that sounds kind of specific, Edward. Do you have someone in mind?"

I couldn't help but smile at her. "Possibly, but why don't you tell me more about what you want so I can help you narrow the search."

"Well Edward, I'll tell you this, I won't let anyone stand in the way of my happiness ever again. I learned to trust my own instincts after Jacob. I knew he didn't appreciate me for who I am. I want someone who will love and accept me as I am, not expect me to change. I want someone who will support and encourage me and not look for my flaws; someone I can be myself with. I want someone I can trust, someone I can love."

Despite only knowing Bella for a short period of time, I already knew that I wanted to be that person for her. We only had a few days together but I refused to let that get in the way of what I was feeling. Maybe we could work something out when we left Europe? Maybe I could come see her in Seattle? People had long distance relationships that survived, didn't they?

I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I didn't want to think that our time was limited. I decided then not to think past this day; I would live completely in the moment and enjoy whatever time we had together. Whatever Bella would share with me I would gladly take and I would put all my effort into making her happy while we were together.

We finished dinner and our night was coming to an end. The night was chilly; she clutched my arm and snuggled up against me to keep herself warm as we walked to the Tube that would take us to her hotel. I didn't want the night to end. She rested her head on my shoulder as we sat on the train and I rubbed her back affectionately. I wondered if she'd invite me up to her room and what I would do once we got there. I knew that if I were given the opportunity to be with her, I'd take it. I didn't possess the self-control to hold back any longer. I didn't want to hold back. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anyone. I had thought about being with her since I'd first met her.

We exited the train and made the short walk to her hotel. She stopped in front and reached her arms around me to hug me. I held her tight against my chest and breathed in her delicious scent. My hands moved to the sides of her face as I leaned in and kissed her gently.

"Bella, I could never get tired of kissing you," I said honestly, as I peppered her face with kisses.

She moaned that fucking sexy moan and I almost lost it right there and begged her to take me upstairs to her room.

"Your kisses make me want to do things that I shouldn't do," she confessed, making fists with her hands on my back.

_You too, huh?_

"Thank you for an amazing day," she sighed. "Edward…I want to ask you up to my room, but I don't think I should." She lowered her head and rested her forehead on my chest.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. As much as I'd love to come up to your room right now, I don't want you to do anything that you aren't comfortable with," I said, reassuringly. I lifted her chin so she could look at me. "I mean it."

"It's not that I'm not comfortable with you, Edward. It's just the opposite, in fact," she sighed. "I'm very attracted to you, it's just been a long time and I don't normally move this fast."

As much as I wanted her, I didn't want her to have any regrets about being with me. I knew it would only be a matter of time with her. She wanted to be with me, that much I could tell. But, she wasn't the type of girl who just slept with anyone and I respected that.

"It's fine, really. I don't want our first time together to be something you regret," I confessed, her eyes shot up to stare at me intensely and her face blushed.

_Yes Bella, I fully intend to make you mine._

"I've got a surprise for you," I said excitedly, leaning back to look at her.

I had been conjuring up a plan all day. I knew she was adventurous and although we were having a great time in London, I wanted to do something special for her. It wasn't everyday that I had a beautiful woman to travel with and I didn't want to waste a second of my time with Bella.

"A surprise, huh? What kind of surprise?" she asked, curiosity showing in her face.

"The kind that requires you to be packed and checked out of your hotel by 9:00 in the morning. Think you can manage?" I said. I couldn't help but smile because I knew her curiosity would drive her crazy.

"Packed and checked out? Where are we going?" She looked slightly concerned, which was adorable.

"Uh-uh, Bella. That's the surprise. It's a good one though, don't worry. I think you'll love it." I rubbed my hands up and down her arms and kissed her forehead. "Don't you trust me?"

She smiled at me, so I knew that she'd go along.

"Yes, I trust you. I'll be packed and ready to go to the mystery location tomorrow morning."

"Perfect, I'll swing by and get you at 9:00." I shoved my hands in my pockets to warm them. I leaned down and kissed her softly. "I'll miss you tonight."

"Mmm, me too Edward. I'll be thinking about our kisses all night."

"So will I, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow," I said, as I turned to walk away.

_That's not all I'll be thinking about._

"Edward?"

I turned to look at her. "Yeah?"

"I can't wait." She smiled and wrapped her arms around her waist.

I walked slowly away from her and made my way back to my hotel, where I fell on the bed in exhaustion. It had been a very long day. I could still smell Bella on my clothes and I inhaled deeply to savor the scent. Her kisses had been so passionate and far exceeded my imagination. Her body was amazing. She was petite and curvy in all the right places as she melded to me. At times, it felt overwhelming. I was falling fast and hard for her. She had no idea the control she already had over me. I could feel the electricity between us when we touched and I looked forward to being able to spend an entire night with her.

I collected myself enough to pack my things in preparation for the next day. I hoped that Bella would be as excited as I was about my surprise. I wanted to experience as much as I could with her.

As I finally lay down in bed, thoughts of Bella permeated my mind. My body responded and I could feel myself get hard for the millionth time that day. I had to do something to relieve the pressure. I allowed my hand to move down and grasp my cock firmly, moving it up and down my length. I moved slowly at first, and then picked up my pace. Picturing Bella's hands on me, I was easily able to bring myself to climax.

I got up and took a quick shower that bordered on scalding, yet was incredibly relaxing, and climbed back into bed. My breathing slowed, and I fell asleep remembering Bella's soft lips and warm body.

I slept soundly.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed EPOV. Next up, we're back in the present day for the big meeting! **

**Also, I have an entry in the Darkward contest and voting is going on right now. Please stop by, take a look and hopefully cast a vote! My entry is called A Cold Night in Chicago and can be found in my profile, as well as the link for the voting! **


	10. Chapter 9 Confrontation

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and alert adds. It makes me so happy that you are still enjoying the story. For all you lurkers out there, please drop me a quick note to let me know your thoughts. Even if it's quick, I really appreciate it! Plus, it'll get you a teaser! **

**This chapter was total heartfail for me and was by far the hardest for me to write. My poor betas, scsquared and TwiHart, no doubt are wondering if they're dealing with a complete lunatic! I had to be talked off the ledge several times for this one. I hope you enjoy the final result. **

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**Enough babbling. Here's the chapter that hopefully gives you some answers! **

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_Chapter 6:_

_She continued, "You've been living in Seattle for months now and have never tried to contact me. Why now?"_

_Right then I knew she had been thinking of me too. And I was going to make sure she knew the truth._

_When my voice came out, I didn't recognize it as my own, "You're wrong Bella. I did try to contact you."_

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**Chapter 9:**

**April 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

I was nervous to see Bella again. Perhaps a better way to say it was that I was terrified.

Bella was obviously shaken by my call and I had no idea what to expect at our meeting. The call hadn't ended well after I told her that I had attempted to call her when I first got to Seattle. She was at work and couldn't talk, but I could hear the distress in her voice.

I got home after running various errands all day. Although exhausted, I was far from relaxed so I poured myself a glass of red wine to take the edge off and began to get ready to go meet Bella.

I struggled with a lot of things. I hadn't told Jasper that I was meeting Bella or even the true nature of my relationship with her. He had no idea that we'd been together, only that we knew each other years ago. He was a good friend and I felt sneaky, like I was going behind his back. But there was no point in telling Jasper and twisting the knife in deeper.

Then there was Bella. I shouldn't have called her. My presence in her life could only complicate matters, and yet I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to see her face to face and talk to her, selfish as it made me.

I stepped into the steaming hot shower and let the water run over my shoulders, turning them red from the heat. The warmth of the water relaxed my muscles and I took long, deep breaths, enjoying the comfort of the shower. By the time I got out, the bathroom was filled with steam, which was a testament to how long I'd indulged.

Wrapped in my towel, I walked into my room, turned on some music and began to get dressed. I felt like a teenaged girl, trying to pick just the right outfit that would impress her. I didn't want to be too dressy, nor too casual and ended up settling on black slacks and a lightweight gray sweater. I supposed it didn't really matter what I wore, but I wanted to look nice, nonetheless. It was what I was going to say that plagued me.

I arrived at the bustling coffee shop slightly ahead of time to get us a table and organize my thoughts. I had been so stunned about seeing her at the bar with Jasper that I hadn't had time to really process what exactly I would say to her if I got the chance. She seemed annoyed on the phone by the fact that I hadn't contacted her since moving to Seattle. I could understand her irritation, given our agreement. If I found out that she had been living in Los Angeles for any length of time and had failed to contact me, I'd feel betrayed as well. Other than that slight display of emotion, I had no idea what Bella was thinking about seeing me again.

Did she still care for me? Had she forgotten about what we had? Was she angry with me? Did she blame me for what happened? Why had she stopped calling or returning my phone calls? I had to find out.

As I sat there sipping my coffee, watching people come and go, I finally relaxed a bit. I glanced up and saw her walk in calmly. She had on a beige trench coat, cinched tight at the waist with a deep blue scarf. Her hair was pulled up with a few pieces that fell around her face. She looked absolutely beautiful and just like that, I was nervous again. She looked confident, yet apprehensive.

She spotted me and walked over to the table. I stood up and kissed her cheek politely to greet her.

"Hi Bella, thanks for coming," I said anxiously. I felt the knots in my stomach get tighter and turn flips at the sight of her. It was no doubt a combination of nerves and the thrill of seeing her again.

She smiled briefly as she put her purse down on the table and began to untie her coat. Underneath, she wore a cream silk blouse and a navy pencil skirt that showed off her figure flawlessly. The flowing top had a deep v-neck and the beaded necklace she wore accentuated her creamy skin. She was even more breathtaking than the other night and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

"Let me grab a coffee," she said, pulling me from my stare as she set her coat down on the empty chair next to her. "Do you want anything?"

I waved her off and watched as she walked to the counter to order. As much as I had thought of Bella and her natural beauty over the years, my memory had not done her justice. It was either that or she had gotten more gorgeous with time. Her toned legs were visible underneath the skirt and the heels she wore made her legs look like they were a mile long. She looked very professional, and yet very sexy.

_Calm yourself, Cullen._

She arrived back at the table, after what seemed like an unnecessarily long wait, with a latte in hand. "I'm sorry I didn't order you something when I arrived, but I wasn't sure what your coffee preference would be," I admitted to her.

She shrugged and sat down cautiously, straightening her skirt. She looked as nervous as I felt and seemed to avoid making eye contact with me.

"I see you're still quite the gentleman, Edward," she began slowly, "even after all this time. It's been a while, hasn't it?" She was nervously picking at a napkin on the table.

"Yeah, it has. I was really shocked to see you the other night," I sighed, faking a smile, "especially with Jasper."

She seemed disturbed at the mention of Jasper. "Imagine my surprise, Edward, I didn't even know you were in town, not to mention the roommate of my date. Shocked doesn't even begin to cover what I felt seeing you the other night."

_Yep, she's definitely irritated._

She didn't sound angry though, instead she was almost sad. I tried to ease the tension we both felt. "Bella, I didn't ask you here to lay a guilt trip on you about anything or upset you. Of course you have every right to date whomever you please, I was just taken aback."

_More like completely horrified._

"Then why _did_ you ask me here?" she inquired, looking up from the table, directly into my eyes.

"I felt like I needed to explain what happened," I sighed, raking my hands through my hair still struggling with what to say and battling my urge to take her in my arms and crush my lips to hers.

"Edward…please don't…you don't owe me anything," she said, looking at her hands, which were folded on her lap.

"No, I do owe you an explanation. You wanted to know why I never called you when I got to town. I did try to call you, Bella." I rushed out. I knew that I would likely only get one chance to explain myself. "When I first got to town, I called the number I had but it's disconnected now. So, I Googled you and tracked you down to the gallery."

She looked shocked at my admission, shaking her head. "I never got a message that you called."

Nervously rubbing my damp palms across my thighs I tried to calm myself to continue, "That's because when I asked for you, I was told that you had left for the night with your boyfriend. Even though I wanted to see you, I didn't want to disrupt your life, especially after all this time. I thought I was too late. I figured that you had moved on. Of course, I didn't know that it was with Jasper."

She listened intently to what I was saying and then shook her head. "You called the gallery? Shit. Edward, when did you call?"

"I don't know, right after I moved here. I guess it was just after the holidays."

She chuckled, much to my dismay and confusion. "I wasn't dating Jasper then. Nor did I have a boyfriend."

"Then why did your co-worker tell me that?" I was starting to feel a tightening in my chest. I had left her alone because I thought she was happy and involved with someone. I had left her alone based on a lie?

"Well, there was a very persistent customer who used to come in all the time and bother me. I suspected he was married, but either way, I didn't like his constant advances. So, my over-protective coworker used to tell all male customers who called and asked for me by name that I had a boyfriend so he'd stop bothering me. He must have assumed that's who was calling."

_What the fuck? _

"Well, isn't that just fucking rich," I muttered, the anger rising up in me. I had wasted all this time thinking she was with someone else and had moved on. Then, given my stupid luck, she actually had found someone else- my best friend. I sat there quietly with emotions and thoughts rushing through my body and mind.

"Edward, you waited all this time to see me, and then you call me once, get told I have a boyfriend and that's it?"

"What else was I supposed to do? Chase you down? Stalk you? Yes, I wanted to call you and see you but I don't know what else you think I should have done. Besides, you stopped calling me, never returned my calls, and never answered when I did call. I wasn't even sure if you would want to see me," I said, defensively.

"I guess I see your point," she said as she hung her head. "It just sucks because things could have been so different." She looked almost as despondent as I felt.

She nervously took a sip of her coffee and lightly set it down on the table.

"Edward, despite everything, I was excited to see you the other night. I know it must not seem like it, but I have missed you," she said softly.

"Bella…" I sighed deeply, "I've thought a lot about you too. More than you know. I'm sorry things got so convoluted."

"Yeah, me too," she said breathily. "But, I guess its water under the bridge now, huh?"

"I saw Jasper this morning; he told me what happened between you two." I knew I shouldn't say anything but I wanted to hear her side of the story.

She looked uneasy as she spoke, "I hope you know that it had nothing to do with you. Jasper and I were just more like friends than anything else and he's too nice of a guy to be led on."

"He cares about you, Bella."

I winced at my words. Talking about Jasper and his feeling for Bella made me insanely jealous.

She looked at me as she stood and grabbed her purse and coat to leave. "Yeah…well…thanks for explaining everything to me. I'm not sure it makes a difference now, but I appreciate you telling me."

_So that's it?_

"It was good to see you again, Edward. Maybe you and Tanya can come by and see my new exhibit," she said, her voice shaking. "She seemed really nice. I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy."

_Holy shit. Tanya._

"Bella," I immediately reached for her and gently placed my hand on her arm, "I'm not together with Tanya. She and I are family friends, but nothing else." I slowly dropped my hand back down.

The wheels were turning in her head and she sat down again, resting her coat in her lap. She exhaled sharply and I couldn't tell, but it seemed like a sigh of relief.

"But, you guys seemed so close the other night?" she muttered.

I wanted to be happy, given her response. It seemed like she cared for me. I clung to a hope that Bella and I could be together again someday even though I knew nothing could happen between us. Not right then, at least. Jasper was a good friend of mine and I wouldn't do that to him.

"I'm going to make a confession to you, Bella. When I moved up here, I had hopes that you and I would reunite. It was part of the reason I picked Seattle for my residency. I've never dated anyone whom I cared about as much as you. Right after we got back from Europe, I thought things were going well for us. I mean, I knew it was hard, but then you stopped calling and I assumed you didn't feel the same way about me as I did about you. I've thought about you a lot since then and you have no idea how much I wish we could go back and do things differently. I would never have let you go. I don't know what happened but…"

Tears were welling up in her eyes and she wiped them discreetly, trying to hide her slip up from me.

She looked at me through her tears. "Before you continue, Edward, I want you to know that I have also thought of you many times through the years. I loved every moment of our time together in Europe. But, I couldn't pretend that things were normal when we got back. It wasn't me who moved on, it was you. I was there. I talked to your girlfriend, Edward. That's why I stopped calling. I don't blame you for moving on, the situation was impossible. There was just too much distance between us."

"Bella, I have no idea what you thought was happening. I did date people, which you knew about but nothing was serious. If I'd have known that's why you stopped calling, I could have set the record straight." It was impossible to conceive that Bella would compare herself to anyone else I dated.

"And then what, Edward? Were we supposed to continue like that forever? I was holding you back, preventing you from moving on and being happy. If anything, that phone call solidified that fact for me. While I was extremely jealous, I knew that the girl who answered the phone was there with you everyday and I wasn't. You deserved that."

"I don't know what to say to that," I confessed. "I never wanted to lose touch with you. I'm sorry that you felt like that was the best thing for us."

"Edward, you helped create so many of my most cherished memories, and if we are here to make confessions, then here is mine...I would love nothing more than to create more memories with you. All this time has passed and now that we are both in the same city, it's finally possible. Just seeing you again reminds me of all that we had and all that we gave up. But, I can sense your hesitation. So what is it?"

I was astonished at Bella's admission. She still had feelings for me and actually thought about giving us a chance at being together again. If she had been dating anyone else but Jasper, I would have jumped at the opportunity. It made the situation all the more fucked up.

"Jasper is my friend, Bella. I'm not sure how he would feel about us being together." I hated the words as they came out of my mouth.

I felt her hands touch mine as they rested on the table folded together. "I knew there was a 'but' in your confession, Edward. You're a very good friend to Jasper. He deserves nothing less."

Jasper and I had been through a lot together. As much as I cherished the memories with Bella, I just couldn't hurt a friend that easily. It seemed wrong to go after the girl who just dumped him. Even though I had been with Bella first, he didn't know that yet and he certainly didn't know the extent of my feelings for her. How I was going to tell him? I should have thought this through better. I should have thought about how it would feel to hear Bella admit she had harbored the same feelings for me all these years.

Bella sniffled, removed her hands from mine and continued, "You're absolutely right. It's too complicated now."

She stood up again and paused briefly, standing above me at the table. I rose to meet her and breathed deeply. I helped her into her coat, wishing there was something I could say. I hated seeing her hurt. No one could win in this situation.

"Thanks for meeting me, Bella."

She put her hand on my chest, hesitating, "Goodbye, Edward."

Oh God, I couldn't watch her leave me. Not again.

I stood there in dazed silence as she turned on her heel and walked toward the door of the coffee shop. I had been without her for five long years and the minute it looked like I might have a chance, I was losing her again.

"Bella wait," I rasped out to her retreating form.

_Where the fuck did that come from?_

Bella stopped but didn't turn around. I instinctively walked the few steps to her and tentatively put my hand on her shoulder, instantly feeling that familiar charge between us. I noticed people staring at us so I leaned towards her and lowered my voice so I was nearly whispering in her ear.

"Bella I can't let you walk out of my life again."

I felt her stiffen. "Edward, what do you want from me?" she said, as she stifled a sob. "I'm trying my best to keep from falling apart right now. Honestly, you asked me to come here, told me all those things about how you feel, but none of it matters. None of it! We're finally living in the same city at the same time, but it doesn't change anything." She didn't sound angry, just hurt and frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I never wanted to hurt you," I sighed, as I lowered my head further so my forehead was almost resting on the back of her head. "I'm confused too and the situation with Jasper just makes it worse. I have no idea how to handle it, but I do know that I want you in my life. Can we at least be friends?"

I felt horrible and a bit dizzy from the delicious and familiar smell of her hair. I had to stop myself from running my hands through it. I closed my eyes and braced myself for her reply.

Bella never turned around as she answered me. "Friends? Have we ever been able to be just friends? I can't do it. I just can't. You, of all people, should understand that. I'm sorry."

I didn't know what else to say so I dropped my hand and she walked out.

I walked back to my car and laid my head back on the headrest as soon as I sat down. The frustration in me peaked and I ran my hands through my hair, pulling firmly as I grunted loudly.

_This is such bullshit._

I couldn't give up Bella. There had to be a way.

I wondered what Jasper would say if I talked to him about it. Maybe he'd be okay with it? Maybe if he understood what Bella meant to me? No matter how I looked at it, in the end, I knew he wouldn't appreciate it. I doubted he'd tell me that I couldn't date her, but I knew how I'd feel if that happened to me and I didn't want to be the one to hurt him. Still, why did it have to be Bella? Out of all people.

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Don't forget to shoot me a review!**

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	11. Chapter 10 Arrival

**A/N: I have so much love for my readers, you have no idea! Special thanks to Kassiah and Sunfeathers for the awesome rec on The Fictionators. I really appreciate all the support! **

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**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**This is a transitional chapter and is pretty short. I'll try and get the next one up a little early for you.**

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**Chapter 10:**

**June 2003- London**

**BPOV**

Reeling from Edward's kisses, I meandered through the halls of my hotel to my room, completely oblivious to my surroundings. I immediately fell onto the bed, with a heavy thump, and recounted the entire day.

Edward and I had flirted all day and when he finally kissed me, I almost fainted. It had been the longest lead up to a kiss I'd ever had, but it was so worth the wait. He was perfect. His kisses were perfect. Everything about him pulled me in. He knew just how to move his lips to render me helpless against his touch. He held me so close to him and was so passionate that I never wanted to leave. I had _never_ been kissed like that before.

Since the moment I saw Edward in that pub, I had wondered what kissing him would be like. Then, when we started spending time together I couldn't stop thinking about him. I fantasized about him everywhere we went. I'd never been the type of girl to meet a guy and then sleep with him right away. But when we arrived back at the hotel, I knew that if I invited him up, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I'd sleep with him. He was just too sexy to resist. If we were in Seattle and this gorgeous guy wanted me, that wouldn't be a problem at all. But given where we were and the depths of my feelings for him already, I knew that if we slept together I'd be completely gone. I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to stave him off, but for the time being I was successful.

Edward was not like any of the men I had dated. He was jaw dropping, mouth watering, deliciously gorgeous. He didn't even look real, he was that good-looking. Sure, I had known gorgeous men before, but honestly, men that attractive usually didn't have much more to offer than their appearance. That's where Edward was so different. He was the first gorgeous man I had met that was as attractive on the inside as he was on the outside. He was so kind, caring and thoughtful. He was intellectual, but not nerdy and always listened to what I had to say.

I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone else in my life. There were times when I felt I was going to self combust from sexual frustration. The man embodied sex and my resolve crumbled under his touch. Based on the intensity in his kisses, I knew that sex between us would be unbelievable and I longed for it. My body ached for it. But, I had to do what I could to protect my heart. I didn't want to be going home at the end of all this with a broken heart and that level of intimacy would draw me closer to him and that scared me to death.

I pulled myself up off the bed and out of my fantasies to begin the task of packing. I didn't have much stuff, so it wouldn't take me long, but the anticipation of the unknown made it exciting. I still couldn't believe that he'd gone to such trouble to set everything up for us. Edward hadn't been that bold before and I rather liked that side of him. It was fun seeing him be the aggressor and take charge. I typically hated surprises, but it was cute coming from him. I had no idea where we were going, but I couldn't wait to find out.

After I was done packing, I slipped into bed, free to dream about Edward and how he felt embracing me and kissing me. My fantasies took hold of me as I imagined him in my bed, loving me with his body. Between the memory of his kisses and my fantasies of our future love-making, if I had died in my sleep, I'd have died extremely happy. It didn't take long for me to doze off after our long day.

The blaring alarm clock woke me up with a startle and I hopped out of bed, still sleepy but excited to get ready for the day. I was dying to find out more about my surprise and to see Edward. My naughty dreams from the night before made his absence even more excruciating. After gathering my stuff and checking out, I eagerly walked to meet him.

He arrived, looking perfectly put together as though he had his own stylist on hand. I felt dumpy in comparison since I'd just thrown on comfortable, if not all that attractive, travel clothes.

He smiled when he saw me and I melted at his perfection.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said as he snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Mmm, I could get seriously used to that," I sighed, as I leaned my head to his chest, inhaling to capture his scent.

He lifted my chin and kissed me gently. "Did you miss me?"

_You have no idea, Edward. _

"You know, I was just so busy packing that I didn't have time to think about anything else," I joked, shrugging my shoulders.

"Liar." He smirked and kissed me again. He tasted and smelled delicious.

_I know, I'm such a liar. _

"So, Mr. Mysterious, where are we headed?" I inquired.

"Let's go." He grabbed my hand and led me to the tube station. We hopped on the next available train and left our familiar surroundings.

He leaned into me as the train moved and swayed on the tracks. "We're going to Paris. I've arranged for us to take the high speed train so we'll be there in less than 4 hours."

Of course I had always wanted to see Paris, but for some reason, it seemed like it would be too much for this trip. I had been expecting us to go to the English countryside or something similar. It never occurred to me that we'd go to Paris. I was thrilled and eager to see the beautiful and romantic city.

I couldn't believe that Edward had arranged the whole thing without me knowing. We'd been together so much that I marveled at how he pulled it off. I was terrible at keeping secrets and he had managed to go the whole day without saying anything. I was curious about the sleeping arrangements, but I'd worry about that later. For now, I was just going to enjoy my gorgeous travel companion and the ride.

We boarded the high-speed train and got situated as the train pulled out from the station. Edward grabbed his book as I stared out the window enjoying the view. The train went impossibly fast and with each turn, we leaned into each other with the pull of inertia. We approached the tunnel that would take us under the English Channel and I felt a rush of nervousness. In addition to my crippling fear of heights, I also suffered from claustrophobia and the tunnel felt small and confined. Inside the tunnel was dark and it stayed dark as we made our way under the water.

Edward reached for my hand and I squeezed it tightly on instinct. He gently wrapped his warm fingers around mine and held it, offering me comfort. I briefly wondered what other wonderful things he could do with those hands. I looked over and saw him looking at me with that crocked grin that I loved so much.

_Busted._

We sat there holding hands, his thumb tracing circles on the back of my hand. We didn't talk much, but it didn't seem necessary. I was perfectly content. Edward continued reading his book, letting go of my hand every once in a while to turn the page, but he always returned his hand to mine.

After what seemed like forever, we emerged into the beautiful French countryside and I breathed a sigh of relief as we sped on our way toward our destination. France had a completely different look and feel than London did. It was green and hilly and seemed like it was from another time, almost provincial.

I didn't speak any French though, so this trip would definitely be interesting. Of course, I knew the rumors that the French- or more specifically the Parisians- didn't like Americans, or anyone who couldn't speak French, so that only made me more nervous.

"Do you speak any French, Edward?" I asked, my practical nature rearing its head.

"Sure, I can say voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?" He smiled.

"That sounds pretty, but what does it mean? Will it help us find our hotel?" I asked.

He started laughing, "Well, I guess it could help us find a hotel if I asked the right person, but I don't think that's a good idea." He continued laughing.

"Edward, what did you say?" I asked sternly, which only made him laugh harder.

After he stopped laughing he managed to get out, "Never mind, Bella. It's just a saying. I honestly don't speak French." He smiled deviously at me. I had no idea what he said, but I made a mental note to Google it later.

"Well, I only speak Spanish and that's not going to get us very far."

"Don't worry, we'll get by," he laughed as he kissed my cheek and began reading again. "No te preocupas."

I smiled and chuckled softly. He was so cute.

I couldn't stop staring at him as he sat next to me and read. His face looked pensive as his brows furrowed in concentration, his long lashes still visible even with his head lowered. He had short stubble across his strong, angular jaw, which slightly masked the perfection of his complexion. I wanted to feel it against my skin and I quivered slightly at the thought. How had this gorgeous man decided that he wanted to go to Paris with me? I wasn't going to question it, only enjoy it.

_I wonder what that stubble would feel like on my thighs? What the hell? Where did that come from? _

"You're staring, Bella," he said smiling, not looking up from his book.

_Busted again._

I blushed furiously. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. It's just…you look really good."

He set the book down in his lap and reached over to me, putting his hand around my neck. "You can look all you want, provided I get the chance to reciprocate." He kissed me and I felt his tongue graze my lips. I opened my mouth and allowed him entrance. He responded with fervor and although I'd never been one for PDA, I was completely lost in him.

We arrived in Paris, and found the nearest bench so we could plan our course of action.

"So, what's next?" I asked.

"Well, we're going to play it by ear. Let's find an internet café so we can find a place to stay tonight," Edward said, scooping up my hand in his.

_What? We have no place to stay?_

"I can see the distress on your face, Bella," he said, laughing. "Don't be such a worrier. I'll take care of you." Edward consoled me, placing a feather light kiss across my knuckles. It quickly calmed my nerves and I forgot my aversion to flying by the seat of my pants. Mostly because I couldn't stop about thinking about getting into Edward's.

_Really Bella? When did you become such a skank?_

After consulting Edward's travel book, we found a nearby Internet café and sat down to find a hotel.

"Now before we get too far down the road here, I have to tell you that this is my treat. I want this to be nice and I don't want you to argue with me, okay?" Edward rested his hands on the keyboard and looked seriously over at me.

"Edward, you know I can't let you do that," I rebutted.

"I'm serious, Bella. I want to do this. Please let me."

I acquiesced reluctantly. I was not used to having people spend money on me and it made me uncomfortable, but I couldn't resist Edward's puppy dog eyes and lopsided grin. I thought it was endearing that he wanted to make this trip special.

The new understanding between us made Edward ecstatic. His eyes sparkled with delight as he combed the Internet looking for the perfect hotel for us. He found a quaint boutique hotel near the Champs-Elysees that looked absolutely beautiful online, albeit expensive. Edward wouldn't let me argue with him about how much it would cost though, so I just stopped trying.

We walked through the city to get to our hotel and it was everything that I'd imagined it to be, with its elegant sidewalk cafes and chic people. The storefronts looked like something out of a painting. I could have spent days just walking around, admiring the architecture and style, but we still had all of our stuff so we needed to keep a quick pace.

The hotel was nicer than anything I had ever stayed in. The front of it had a formal awning and double glass entry doors, etched with a rich design. The lobby was regal and decorated in traditional, sumptuous French decor. I immediately felt under-dressed and shabby. I would definitely have to do some shopping while I was here, not that it would be a great hardship.

I waited while Edward checked in, admiring the grand lobby. He finally made his way over to me, with a packet of information in his hand. We gathered our stuff and headed toward the elevator.

"Our room is on the seventh floor," he explained casually.

_Our room?_

He obviously noticed the surprised look on my face because he smiled widely and chuckled to himself.

"Yes, Bella. I got us one room," he said confidently. "You aren't scared of me, are you? I don't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing."

_I am so fucked._

"No, that's not my particular concern." I couldn't help but laugh. "And what if I say no?"

"You won't."

_Jesus Christ, he's so fucking sexy and confident._

"You're right, I won't," I admitted, then pointed my finger at his chest and said, "but, you have to behave yourself. I'm not some floozy."

He looked at me and his expression turned serious as he rubbed his hands up and down the sides of my arms, "I didn't mean to insinuate that you are. I just want to spend as much time together as we can while we're here. I promise I'll behave, no matter how much it kills me."

_Gah! I'm so done._

The elevator door chimed and opened slowly. We walked down the hallway until we found our room. Edward fumbled for the keys and opened the door to the most beautiful room I had ever seen.

The room was decorated in colors of rich blue and dark wood. By far the most stunning aspect of the room was the huge bed. The blue and white toile bedding was backed by a large upholstered headboard, which was covered in deep blue velvet. There were lush pillows and a big, fluffy comforter. The rest of the room was very impressive with deep mahogany furnishings and plush chairs.

My eyes found a set of double doors and I walked over and pulled them open, revealing the most stunning balcony with a view of the Eiffel Tower over the rooftops of the adjacent buildings. I gasped when I saw it.

"Edward," I called breathlessly, "you have to come see this." I was blown away by the sheer beauty.

I turned my head to see that Edward had sidled up behind me to share in my excitement. He slipped his hands around my waist and kissed me lightly. I leaned back into his strong arms and chest. He steadied me as I felt my knees get a little weak.

"Do you like the room?" he asked sweetly.

"Are you kidding me? It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," I resounded. "Next to you, of course," I added with a laugh.

"I'm so glad you like it," he replied, kissing the top of my head again and resting his chin on me. "I'm happy to be here with you, Bella."

"Me too."

That was the world's biggest understatement. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was sweet and thoughtful. He made me feel interesting and beautiful. I felt like I was living in a dream, a really, really good dream.

He brought me to Paris. It would just be me and Edward in the most romantic city in the world.

_How is this happening to me- Bella Swan? I must be the luckiest woman alive._


	12. Chapter 11 Benches

**A/N: I'll keep this brief.**

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**Chapter 11:**

**June 2003- Paris**

**EPOV**

Bella liked my surprise. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't find it presumptuous of me to take her to such a romantic place.

I had decided to hold nothing back. I didn't want to do anything to make Bella feel uncomfortable, but I knew it was only a matter of time for us. I knew there was a mutual attraction but I wasn't sure how far Bella was ready to take things. I couldn't explain the way I felt about her. I was protective and possessive of her in a way that I had never felt before. I wanted to steal her away and keep her for myself, thus my idea for the trip. I was willing to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment with her. Something I never did. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible and fully enjoy this experience.

Even though I hadn't known her very long, it felt like I had known her forever. She had a kind and genuine heart and was passionate about her interests and the people she cared about. I loved her mind and her quick wit. She fascinated me and confused me so much that I wished that I could read her mind.

We boarded the high-speed train and made our way to our seats. Bella sat next to the window so I conveniently needed to lean over her to see the sights as we passed them. Not a bad bit of planning on my part.

As we approached the tunnel, I could see Bella's face grow nervous. It was adorable. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it in reassurance, catching a glimpse of something flirtatious in Bella's eyes. She seemed to calm under my touch and I was glad that I could comfort her. Soon after we emerged from the tunnel, I could feel Bella's eyes on me, as if she was undressing me mentally. It made me pleased that she was staring at me. I wanted her to stare at me, and only me.

"You're staring, Bella," I said, without looking up, intentionally trying to embarrass her so I could see the adorable blush come across her face.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. It's just…you look really good."

_There's that blush. Hmm, she thinks I look good?_

"You can look all you want, provided I get the chance to reciprocate." I wanted her to know that the attraction was definitely mutual so I leaned over and kissed her passionately. I felt her relax into my arms as though we were the only two people on the train. Throughout the remainder of the trip, she bubbled over with excitement about what we were going to see and do. I loved that I put that smile on her face.

She was reluctant to let me treat her but I held my ground. It was my idea to come to Paris and I wanted to spoil her. I wanted her to feel special, especially since I got the impression that she'd never been treated that way before. She deserved nothing less.

The hotel was even nicer than it looked online and I was very impressed. As I checked us in, I debated whether or not to get us one room or two. The attraction and pull toward each other was strong and I could tell that even though she had been nervous to ask me up to her room in London, it had more to do with how fast everything was going than how she felt about me. At least, that's what I banked on when I booked us one room.

The hotel porter collected our sparse luggage, as we walked towards the elevator.

"Our room is on the seventh floor," I said, waiting eagerly to hear her response.

She looked mildly shocked and I couldn't help but laugh at her expression. She really was adorable when she was pretending to be angry.

"Yes, Bella. I got us one room," I said, answering her silent question. "You aren't scared of me, are you? I don't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing."

_Please be into that sort of thing._

"No, that's not my particular concern," she said, chuckling. "And what if I say no?"

"You won't." Two could play at that game.

"You're right, I won't," she said, as she prepared for the lecture that looked like it was about to follow, "but you have to behave yourself. I'm not some floozy."

_I'd never treat her like that._

"I didn't mean to insinuate that you are. I just want to spend as much time together as we can while we're here. I promise I'll behave, no matter how much it kills me."

_And it will definitely kill me. _

Bella's eyes widened when she saw the stately room. I saw her eyes move to the enormous bed, and my imagination went wild. We could have a lot of fun in that bed and I fully intended to make the most of it.

After exploring the spacious room, Bella and I got changed and decided to walk around the city for a while. We walked along the river, taking in the boats cruising up and down. Everyone walked in Paris and the city was bustling.

We found a small bench along the river's edge and decided to rest a while and talk. She shivered in spite of the warmth of the sun. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. Her hand naturally fell onto my thighs and her fingers rested in between my knees. I felt my body instantly react to her closeness, her smell, and the warmth of her body. I craved her touch and I couldn't get close enough to her.

We watched a flock of pigeons take off in unison and fly in formation to land on the railing of a nearby bridge, leaving a wake of movement behind them. Light bounced off the water and sparkled like diamonds. The branches of the shade trees swayed gently in the light warm breeze. It was serene.

"Things are so peaceful here, aren't they? It's just as I imagined it would be," Bella hummed, rubbing her thumb along my knee.

"It doesn't seem real, does it?" I said, as I leaned in and kissed the top of her head, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

"I want to remember this view and this moment forever." She glanced up at me and kissed me gently. "Thank you for bringing me here."

I moved one of my hands to her cheek and softly rubbed circles on her milky skin. "I wouldn't want to be sharing this with anyone else." I chuckled softly to myself. "You're quite something, you know that? I didn't even see you coming."

She smiled widely at me, her eyes lighting up as she shifted her weight to face me as much as possible.

"Edward, this is like something out of a fairy tale. One day I was alone in London and the next day I've got this gorgeous guy, who just happens to be smart and nice too, whisking me away to Paris. Seriously, how often does that happen?"

"Bella, I don't know how it happened either, but I'm thankful for it."

She reached up and pulled my face to hers and kissed me, this time with passion, showing me the extent of her feelings toward me. Her lips pressed powerfully against mine and I moved my hand to her neck to pull her even closer, my fingers twined in her hair. Our tongues danced with each other and my hands traced lower on her back, feeling her supple curves and her muscles flex as she shifted in my arms with the heat we were generating.

_This woman is going to kill me. _

She pulled away slightly and lowered her eyes. "Edward, God…you're just so…I'm just…I'm so scared of this. This is so unlike me," she whispered as she buried her face in my chest.

I gently lifted her face to look at me and she looked as though she might start crying.

"Scared of what?" I asked softly, caressing her cheek.

"Of this." She gestured between us with her hands. "Of us." She buried her face again and I engulfed her in my arms.

"I'm scared too, but not enough to stop," I confessed. I hadn't put my thoughts into words, but fear was as good of a way to describe what I was feeling as any other word. Excitement, anticipation, attraction, uncertainty were other words that came to mind. I was scared of my feelings toward Bella, knowing that each minute I spent with her they deepened, leaving me exposed.

"I've never done anything like this Bella, believe me. My life has always been perfectly planned out. I know it seems crazy how fast this is happening, but I can't help it. It just feels right and I don't want to second guess this or waste one minute denying myself this happiness."

"I don't want to second guess things either, it's just that I feel a little out of control with you. I'm not used to it." She lowered her head, looking embarrassed at her admission.

"Hey… look at me." I lifted her face again so I could look directly into her eyes. "I feel the same way, Bella, but it's a good thing. I'm happy, aren't you?"

"I'm very happy. I just don't want to get hurt," she sighed. I hugged her tightly to comfort her. She seemed to relax as I reassured her.

"I would never intentionally hurt you."

I meant it. I wouldn't hurt her. I hated seeing her worried but I understood where it was coming from. This was new for me too, and as much as I hated to admit the possibility of being hurt, I knew that my heart was on the line as much as Bella's.

It was getting late in the day, despite still being quite light out, and we strolled back to our hotel, stopping in the shops along the way. It was nice to be so leisurely with Bella. In my life in Los Angeles, I was always going somewhere fast. I studied non-stop and the small amount of free time I had didn't come close to relieving the tension that built up. I couldn't recall a time recently that I had been able to enjoy something as simple as taking a walk.

We took turns in the shower to get ready for dinner. My vivid imagination ran wild as I heard the water running in the shower while Bella was getting ready. I pictured the water running over her smooth skin with her head tossed back, allowing her hair to flow down her back. I was getting really anxious and needed to calm myself so I didn't end up busting down the bathroom door. Or worse, Bella walking in on Mr. Righty and my perpetual hard-on getting reacquainted. They were admittedly spending a lot of time together since I met Bella. I was pretty sure that wouldn't help my efforts to not scare her away.

After what seemed like a long time, she emerged from the bathroom and my jaw dropped. She wore a red dress that hugged every delicious and perfectly placed curve. It fell to her mid-thigh, revealing her long, shapely legs. The v-neck fell deep and forced my eyes to her tempting cleavage. Her hair was down and had slight curls that flowed over her exposed shoulders. Seeing her so dressed up blew me away.

I stood up and walked toward her, needing to show my immense appreciation.

"Bella, you look absolutely stunning," I said reverently, kissing her on the cheek. "Shall we?"

I extended my arm to her and she wrapped her hand around it as we left for dinner. The walk was slow and leisurely and despite the hour, it was still quite warm. On several occasions I would catch men gawking at her, which made the possessive side of me come to the surface. I wasn't used to feeling so protective of anyone but it bugged the shit out of me when other men looked at her, sizing up what was mine. I wanted to gouge their eyes out.

_Mine._

The restaurant was almost empty so we got a great table overlooking the street, which was full of people. Apparently the Parisians didn't dine as early as we Americans. The lights were dimmed and there was a candle in the middle of the table, which made Bella's face glow. The waiter spoke English and was very patient with our lack of French, which was a huge relief given the complexity of the menu. He recommended a bottle of wine and we took him up on it, celebrating our first night together in Paris.

Bella lifted her glass in a toast. "So, what should we toast to?"

"To a beautiful woman in a beautiful city and to being the luckiest guy in the world."

If I could bottle her smile, I could make a million dollars. It lit up the room.

"I'm pretty lucky myself."

We talked easily throughout dinner, which came in multiple courses and lasted several hours. I liked that the meal itself was the occasion and not the precursor to something else. The cheese course came and I savored every bite. I had never had cheese like that before. It was so much more flavorful than cheese in the US. Bella and I scraped the plate clean, sipping our wine to cleanse our palate. The restaurant was quite busy and bustling by the time dinner ended and we felt lucky to have gotten such a good table.

We were thankful to have the walk back to our hotel as we were both completely stuffed from dinner. We needed to walk just to feel better. If Paris was beautiful by day, it was spectacular by night. Everything was lit up and the lights reflected off the water of the Seine creating unbelievable sights. I couldn't take it all in.

Finally arriving at our hotel, we were both exhausted. I fell onto the bed, the pillows scattering as I allowed my hands to fall over my head.

"That was really fun," I said, relaxing onto the luxurious bed. "The dinner was amazing."

Bella was fumbling in her suitcase gathering her pajamas as I watched in curiosity.

_What have you got there, Bella?_

She shot me a knowing glance over her shoulder and smiled, walking into the bathroom. My pants tightened as the blood flow in my body was redirected to my crotch.

_She has no idea what she does to me._

I had been anticipating this since we met. We were finally going to be in the same room, in the same bed for the whole night. It was our time. Bella emerged from the bathroom and I almost started drooling. She was wearing boxer shorts that were rolled over at the waist, revealing almost all of her long toned legs and a peek of her stomach. She had on a pink camisole that hung over her breasts just low enough to reveal their perfect shape. Her hair was loose and hung over her shoulders. I could barely control myself, the problem in my pants now fully evident and almost painful.

She walked across the room and climbed onto the bed next to me, sliding under the covers.

"The bathroom's all yours," she said, smiling as she arranged her pillows.

I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss, then reluctantly stood to gather my things and get ready for bed, hoping she didn't notice my rather prominent erection. I closed the door of the bathroom and had to take a deep breath to calm myself. I wanted to ravage her and make her understand exactly what she did to me. I was so aroused seeing her slink into the bed that I almost attacked her right then. Then I remembered my promise to be good.

_Fucking promises._

She seemed to be able to resist me without a struggle. I knew that she felt the same attraction that I did. I could tell that from her passionate kisses. How was it so easy for her and such a struggle for me? I would never understand women.

I splashed some cold water on my face and stripped out of my clothes, wearing only my boxers. I didn't want any more clothes than absolutely necessary between us, despite the inherent danger.

I opened the door and walked into the room toward the bed. When I glanced up, I saw that she was already asleep. I turned off the lights in the room and made my way to the bed, sliding in on the other side from Bella. I scooted over to her as she slept on her side, curled up into a ball.

The light from the window illuminated her face and her body. The sheet rested on her curves and accentuated her womanly shape. I felt a little creepy, ogling her as she slept, but I couldn't help it. I was mesmerized. She looked so peaceful lying there in our huge bed, her chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't wake her up. Believe me, I _really_ wanted to but we'd had a long couple of days and I knew she needed the sleep.

I curled up behind her, resting my knees right behind hers, feeling the warmth emanate from her body. My chest was flush against her back and I let my head fall in the crook of her neck, reveling in her sweet scent. I slid my hand around her waist and pulled her close to me, my boxers straining once again with her proximity. She let out a small moan at the movement that made me feel like a caveman, nearly ripping off our clothes and taking her right then. Her leg moved in between mine and I was instantly reminded of the friction it could create. She squirmed a little more in my arms but I wouldn't let her go. Finally, my breathing slowed and my blood flow returned to normal, relieving the ache in my groin as we both settled into our place. I fell asleep with her in my arms. If I had my way, I would never have let her go.

Day 1 in Paris= Raging success


	13. Chapter 12 Sacrifice

**A/N: **

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**Chapter 12:**

**April 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

I needed to get some exercise.

I threw on my jogging clothes and set out on a run to work out my frustrations. Hopefully time by myself would help me make some sense out of everything. My life had been completely turned upside down in just 24 hours. Hurt, jealousy, regret, guilt, betrayal all came crashing down on me and it felt like I would split into a million pieces. I ran in a steady pace through the city streets, oblivious to my surroundings, calming my nerves and clearing my head.

When I got back from my run, a hot shower sounded heavenly. I stepped into the hot water and could feel all my emotions swell. I didn't know what to think. First, there was Jasper, who didn't deserve to be hurt. He had never been anything but nice to me and I felt horrible about hurting him but I honestly felt like I had no choice. I knew the minute I saw Edward that I could never love Jasper the way he deserved to be loved. Still, knowing that I was doing the right thing didn't make it any easier to break up with him.

And then there was Edward- my mysterious love from a past life. Just seeing him briefly had sent me reeling and I still had so many unanswered questions when it came to him. It was true that I was the one who had stopped calling and returning his calls, but I didn't see a choice. I did it for him, not for me. I wanted Edward to be happy more than anything and he couldn't be happy with me, not with the distance between us.

I wondered what would happen between us if things were different. What if I wasn't dating Jasper? What if he wasn't dating Tanya? What if we could have found a way to be together all those years ago?

I didn't understand how someone I hadn't seen in five years could still have a profound effect on me. Was I making our time together out to be something it wasn't? Holding him up to some ridiculously high standard? Would anyone ever compare to Edward for me? Maybe he could move on, but I was struggling.

The memories of our time in Europe came back and I felt the tears falling down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms tightly around myself trying to hold myself together. He made me feel things that I didn't know I could feel. I could almost smell the room in Paris and feel the warmth of his body against mine. Sleeping in his embrace each night and waking up beside him each morning had made me feel whole.

I still wanted him; that much I knew. Even the brief encounter with him at the bar took away any doubt that I had about that. I was filled with jealousy seeing him with another woman. How could he be in Seattle all this time and not contact me? We had made promises to each other that he hadn't kept. Yet, with everything that had happened, did I even have the right to expect a call from him?

I got ready for work and left my apartment, still feeling somber. The sky was overcast, which fit my mood and I mindlessly walked to the gallery. I was about to walk the final block to the front door when the sky let loose with a torrential downpour and my umbrella jammed when I tried to open it.

_Just my luck._

I expected the gallery to be slow, leaving me alone with my thoughts. How had my life been turned around so quickly? Although, if I were being honest with myself how turned around was it? I was still alone and still pining over Edward. Sure he was no longer thousands of miles away, but that was just geography. He still was not mine to have, and I still wanted him.

_Yep, not much has changed._

The phone rang, breaking the deafening silence. "Thank you for calling the Alcala Gallery, this is Bella Swan," I said, trying my best to be upbeat and polite.

"Bella?" a rich velvet voice said, pausing briefly. "It's Edward."

Time stopped. My breathing stopped. I think my heart actually stopped before it started beating so hard I thought it would jump right out of my chest. I was shocked to hear from him and thoroughly unprepared. I could barely get out a coherent sentence.

We agreed to meet and talk since I was at work and didn't want to have a complete emotional breakdown over the phone. I was finally going to get the answers I craved and I was anxious. After my shift, I walked slowly and on unsteady legs the few blocks to the coffee shop and nervously opened the door. It was one thing to unexpectedly see Edward when we were in a big group of friends. It was quite another thing to be with him one on one.

_I can't do this! What was I thinking? Bella, put your big girl panties on. This is what you've wanted. You can do this!_

Seeing Edward again brought back a flood of memories. Edward was as gorgeous and well mannered as I remembered him to be and I was putting on my best happy face, trying to conceal my true feelings about seeing him again. They wouldn't do anyone any good.

He explained that he had called and talked to my co-worker, James, who told him I had left with my boyfriend. I knew it was a bad idea when James suggested it, but I wasn't worried at the time about what anyone thought. I just wanted the perverted customer to stop bothering me. I had no idea who was getting this false information, and it didn't even occur to me that it could have been Edward. At that moment I wanted to kill James, even though he was only trying to help.

I couldn't believe that Edward had failed to reach me because of some stupid misunderstanding. I suppose the fact that he called me at all was lucky given how things had ended between us. I was the one who stopped our contact. Yet, we had agreed that the main obstacle between us was the distance and if we were ever in the same city, we'd reconnect. I would have called him, despite all that had happened, I would have kept that promise. Part of me was relieved to know that he was true to his word but mostly I was devastated that a misunderstanding got in the way. It appeared that he had moved on anyway.

He told me that he had seen Jasper and that he knew about our breakup. He was trying to be nice, but the last person that I wanted to talk about with Edward was Jasper. It felt wrong on many levels. I had to get out of there. I could feel the tears coming and my face heating up.

Turning for the last time to face him, I mustered up as much bravado as I could and exchanged pleasantries, even extending the offer for him and Tanya to come by and see my new exhibit. After all of my worry, he told me that he wasn't together with Tanya. They were just friends. I slumped back down into my chair and exhaled the breath I didn't even know I was holding.

_What the fuck is going on?_

My head was spinning like Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

Then the real mindfuck happened. Edward started unloading confession after confession onto me. He hadn't moved on like I expected. He had never been serious with anyone else but me. He never understood what happened between us. He moved up to Seattle hoping to be with me. He regretted how things had happened. Still, there was something he wasn't telling me, I could sense the hesitation in his voice.

It was overwhelming, to say the least. The tears that I had worked so hard to contain were now freely flowing. I couldn't help it. I thought it was just me that felt that way about Edward. I assumed he was happy without me. I thought that there was something wrong with me that I couldn't move on from him. I wasn't holding on intentionally, but nothing I did and no one else I saw ever compared to him. Hearing him say that he felt the same way pushed me over the edge.

Still, I knew that it wasn't entirely true. I had heard _her_ voice myself. He had moved on and clinging to me wasn't helping anything. Even all these years later, he denied that anything serious was going on. In a way, it didn't matter. He couldn't live like that and neither could I.

But, he was here in Seattle. He came for me, and regardless of what happened I had to tell him how I felt. I should have been able to read his expression better before I spoke. He was clearly hesitant, yet I still decided to tell him how I felt only to have him deny me because of his loyalty to Jasper.

I couldn't believe my luck. I met the most fantastic man I had ever known in Europe like some fairy tale, but he lived halfway across the country and we were both stuck in our own cities. Then, he moved to my city, supposedly to be with me, but since I was casually dating his best friend, I became off-limits. I didn't want to hurt Jasper, but how could I lose Edward again because of him? I had never cared for Jasper the way I cared for Edward.

Why had Edward asked me here, confessed his feelings for me, gotten me to confess my feelings for him and then denied me? I felt like I was on some emotional rollercoaster and I wasn't enjoying the sudden stop that was leaving me with a severe case of whiplash and a nasty headache to go along with it. What good were our confessions if he knew we couldn't be together?

I really needed to get out of there after all of that. I stood to leave, trying to save what was left of my dignity. He stopped me before I got to the door though, just as I was about to lose it. The feeling of his touch sent me spiraling out of control. I felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown, right there in the middle of the crowded coffee shop.

He wanted to be friends. Friends?

_I wish it were that simple._

Feeling like I was about to explode, I walked out without turning back. I sobbed all the way back to my car, drawing strange glances from passersby. Not even the most soothing music on my IPod could calm me down. Only Edward could have that effect on me. Only he could make it right.

It had taken me a long time to feel normal again after Europe, but I finally felt like I was healing. I never truly went back to normal, more like I established a new "normal." The new normal understood what great loss felt like but managed to live with it on a daily basis. Then, he showed up and wreaked havoc all over again. Wasn't I entitled to some happiness? What did I do to deserve this? If this was Karma for something I'd done, then the expression was dead on. Karma is a BITCH!

I walked into my apartment and was thankful to see Rosalie and Alice there. I needed my friends. They were both sitting on the couch watching TV and I slumped down in the chair next to them.

"Holy crap, Bella, you look like shit. What happened?" Rosalie asked, concerned.

"I saw Edward again today. He wanted to meet me for coffee."

"Bella, what about Jasper?" Alice chimed in. "Did you see him today?"

"Oh yeah, it's been a great day. Let me tell you. First, I broke up with Jasper because I don't have feelings for him and then Edward unloads all this shit on me about how he came here to be with me and how he still cares for me…"

"Wait, WHAT?" Alice asked, astonished.

"That's not the best part, Alice." I felt the tears coming again. "I completely fell for it and admitted to him that I still care for him and that I want to be with him and then he denied me."

"Why?" Rosalie asked. "I mean, after all this time? Why would he move up here for you and then deny you?"

"Because of Jasper. He doesn't want to hurt Jasper."

"Bella, I'm so sorry," Alice said, trying to comfort me.

"He's fine hurting me, but not Jasper," I said and felt a sob coming to the surface. The truth stung me.

"So, how did you leave things?" Alice asked.

"He wants to be friends."

"Friends?" Rosalie said, aghast. "Fuck that."

"My sentiments exactly, Rose," I said, faking a smile at my brazen friend.

"Seriously Bella, can you be friends with him?" Alice asked.

"No."

I knew it was true. There was no way I could see him and not want to be with him, not want to touch him, or kiss him. I couldn't watch him date other people and stand by as an onlooker. I couldn't do it when we were thousands of miles apart. I certainly couldn't do it in person and see it with my own eyes again.

The next few days were a blur. Alice and Rosalie did their best to cheer me up, but I just slummed around the house feeling sorry for myself. I'd already gotten over Edward once and now I had to do it all over again.

I knew the situation between Edward and I was impossible. Edward wouldn't hurt his friend, even if it was at my expense. One of the things I loved about Edward was his loyalty. He was faithful to the "code" of not dating a friend's ex, even if I was his ex first.

Yes, I still loved Edward. That would never stop in spite of my anger and disappointment. I also knew he had made his choice. He chose his friendship with Jasper over me.

"Bella, you've got to get out of the house," Alice pleaded with me, as she walked into the room. "You haven't even changed out of your pajamas today. It's not healthy."

"Alice, I'm just so fucking confused." I slumped down into the couch, grabbing the throw blanket to cover my legs, tears falling from my eyes.

Alice sat down next to me, resting her hand on my knee. "I know how hard it was for you to get over him five years ago, but you did. This isn't like you to let something get you this down. He's just a guy, Bella, and you're a lot stronger than you think."

_Just a guy._

Maybe I did idealize Edward to a certain extent. I couldn't help it. She was right about me though. Sure, things bothered me, but I wasn't the type to mope around feeling sorry for myself. I was usually much stronger than that. As I sat there with her, the tears still falling, I realized that all the depression over the last few days was my own doing. Edward wasn't responsible for my emotional well-being, I was. I needed to take back control of myself and move on.

Losing Edward had ruined me five years ago and I simply wouldn't let myself go through it again. There were other great guys out there. There was someone out there who could love me and take care of me. I could find him. I wanted the kind of companionship I'd had in Europe with Edward.

"Alice, I'm so sorry that I've been such a downer," I said, as I wiped my tears. "I know I need to get over it and I promise that I'm going to try. No more mopey Bella."

She smiled and gave me a solid hug. "I know you can do it, Bella."

She left me alone with my thoughts as I flipped through the TV stations absent-mindedly. My life didn't need to revolve around Edward. It hadn't for the last five years so why was this any different? It didn't matter that he was in Seattle, even if he moved here for me because he'd never act on his feelings and I didn't want to be the sucker who waited around for some guy to come around. I had my own life to lead and it was about time to do it.

I picked up my phone and dialed the familiar number, feeling mentally stronger than I had in days.

"Rosalie?" I asked as she answered the phone. "What are you doing tonight?"

Not a half an hour later, Rose showed up straight from work and whisked me away to a wine bar downtown. It was packed with well-dressed yuppies, and the music was hip and retro so, naturally, I loved the atmosphere. I was so grateful to have such good friends who put up with my near constant mood swings lately. I needed to feel good again and I knew Rose would stop at nothing to make that happen for me.

"Thanks for coming out with me, Rosalie. I know you didn't even have time to relax after work and I really appreciate it," I said lamely as we sat down at a small table.

She rolled her eyes in her typical fashion when she thought I was crazy, "Bella, you know I'm always here for you. Plus, I love this place. There are always hot guys here."

_It's always about the hot guys with Rose._

"But seriously, you've been like death walking for the past few days, why the sudden change of heart?" she asked.

_Has my depression been that noticeable? _

"He's made his mind up, Rosalie. There's absolutely nothing I can do about it and the more I think about it, the worse I feel. I'm so sick of feeling upset and sad because of Edward Cullen, you know? The guy is like my own personal brand of heroin. I can't get enough, but if I get too close I'll get burned."

She raised her wine glass to toast. "Ah-fucking-men to that. Here's to finding a new brand of heroin. Preferably one who is actually available and lives in Seattle."

I had to chuckle at that as our glasses clinked. I did seem to attract impossible relationships. Either that, or the ones that were available- a la Jasper- I didn't want. It was time to turn over a new leaf.

"I'll drink to that." I took a sip of my wine, pondering the possibility of actually making it through a day without thinking of him. Could I actually find someone else who would make me feel the things he did? I hadn't so far, but I was willing to keep looking. What choice did I have?

I couldn't think about it anymore. The wine was numbing me, thankfully, and I had Rosalie there to keep me entertained. She was hilarious to watch as every cute guy that walked by tried to flirt with her. If they were really cute, she'd throw them a bone and smile her breathtaking smile and they would melt. If they weren't so cute, she'd just roll her eyes at them. I wasn't interested in making small talk with random guys, but at least Rosalie kept my mind off of Edward, which was a welcome reprieve.

Life wasn't great, but I had great friends and a good job, so I had hopes that it could be.

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**A/N: Please don't throw tomatoes. I know that you all want this to move along and I'm getting there, I promise. But, I felt it was important to the story for you to know BPOV and see what her thoughts on Edward's return were. I'm going to be making the transition to the present more quickly but I still have quite a bit of the back story to cover. Hang in there with me!**


	14. Chapter 13 Desire

**A/N:**

**Thank you all for your continued support. I'm so thankful for my awesome readers! I read and respond to every review so please keep them coming! I love the feedback!**

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Many, many thanks to my betas, scsquared and TwiHart, who are always there for me.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 13:**

**June 2003- Paris**

**BPOV**

His warm breath tickled my neck and I was pulled from my deep sleep. I could smell him before I even opened my eyes- a combination of sweat, soap and, well, him.

_Heavenly._

I rolled over in my Edward-induced stupor to see him sleeping soundly next to me, wearing only boxers, looking like a fucking God. The morning light streamed in through the French doors, illuminating our grandiose bed and warming our bodies. My eyes moved over his body, noticing each muscle.

_Holy shit, I fell asleep._

I admit that I was nervous when we got back to our room the night before. The carefully constructed walls that I had built up around myself as protection were coming crashing down and I knew that I wouldn't be able to resist Edward. I didn't want to resist him. I'd kept myself at a distance, trying to shield myself from potential pain but it was having the opposite effect. I knew there was a real possibility of getting hurt, but I was impossibly drawn to him.

It had been a while since I'd felt comfortable enough to be intimate with someone and that had ended in heartbreak for me. It had taken me a while to get over that heartbreak and start to feel whole again. But Edward wasn't Jacob and I didn't want my past to dictate my present; to determine or prevent my happiness. I wanted Edward with everything I had and I felt like he would guard my heart. I trusted him.

Despite my nerves, I certainly didn't intend to go right to sleep.

_Who else but me would go straight to sleep with a God sharing her bed?_

I was curious about Edward. I wanted to see what he would do once we were alone together. He had been the quintessential gentleman but I could tell that he was holding back. I had seen glimpses of him being aggressive and possessive and I liked it. And he _did_ get us one room instead of two so I knew the desire was there. As for me, I definitely would not have minded some play time, but I guess my body had other plans. I didn't even remember my head hitting the pillow.

I moved slightly to get closer to Edward, which caused him to moan in his sleep and squirm. Was there anything about this man that was not sexy? That sound would wreck me if I heard it one more time. His body was a work of art. He was lying on his back with one of his hands behind his head while the other rested on his stomach. The muscles of his arms and chest were chiseled as if made of stone. He breathed deeply and slowly, his exposed chest rising and falling gently in time. His abs were firm and the ridged muscles of his hips disappeared into his boxers, leaving me far too curious. He looked fucking gorgeous. I wanted to trace every muscle, every line, with my finger and then follow it with my tongue.

_And I fell asleep? Gah! _

I decided I needed to make it up to him so I got up and threw on some clothes and left. The poor guy probably came out of the bathroom last night and wondered why he'd even bothered with me. Some date I was after he'd gone to such trouble to spoil me.

I walked briskly to a pastry shop on the corner, which was already bustling with a large crowd, and picked up a few croissants and some espresso. When I got back to the room, Edward was still sleeping so I set the food on the table on the balcony and sat on the bed to wake Edward up.

_Do I have to? Can't I just stare at him some more?_

I leaned down to his perfect face and breathed in his masculine scent. I kissed his cheek, scratchy with his morning stubble, as my hand rested on the side of his head. He didn't even stir so I continued to kiss his face lightly until I got some signs of life. He startled awake and when he realized what was happening, his strong arms pulled me down on top of him, his arousal prominent between us. I smiled seductively and squirmed a little to let him know that I definitely noticed, and to torture him a little bit too.

_Hmm, looks like someone's awake? _

"Now that's a nice way to wake up," he hummed, smiling widely. I straddled him as he pulled me close, grinding his hips against mine and locking his arms behind me.

"I thought I owed you one since I fell asleep on you last night," I admitted, letting my face fall to hide my embarrassment. "Sorry about that."

He released his hands, lifting my face as he caressed my cheek with his thumb. He lightly brushed a stray hair out of my eyes. "You were tired. It was a long day."

_He's perfect. _

I could feel the toned muscles of his chest and arms through my thin shirt and wanted to spend some serious time becoming intimately familiar with them.

_In due time, Bella. _

I hummed as his arms engulfed me, caressing my back. He kissed my ears and neck, reducing me to the consistency of a wet noodle lying on top of him.

_Breathe, Bella! Breathe!_

"So, how are you going to make it up to me?" he asked playfully, tickling my sides.

"I brought us breakfast," I said, finally able to gather my thoughts.

He released me and sat up, leaning against the headboard and smiled. "Well, aren't you thoughtful?"

I chuckled lightly, resting my hand on his chest. "Not so much thoughtful, as hungry. Come on, it's outside on the balcony."

I stood up and walked to the balcony, stealing glimpses of Edward's glorious body as he climbed out of bed, stretching his muscles.

_Stop staring, Bella._

When he joined me on the balcony, he had put on the hotel-provided robe and gratefully ate the croissants. I think I even heard him hum in appreciation while he savored the amazing flavors of the freshly baked breakfast.

"I'm going to hop in the shower," he said after finishing his croissant. "We should get going, if we're going to see everything today."

I knew he was right, but it was so relaxing sitting on the balcony with him, admiring the view- both of the city and him.

He stood up and leaned down to kiss me, "Thanks for breakfast." He smiled that delicious crooked smile and I melted.

I stood up too and walked into the room to finish getting ready. The bathroom door was open a bit and I peered in to get a look at Edward as he got into the shower. I was sure that the backside view would be as nice as the front, but I needed confirmation. My curiosity was too much to resist.

He had his back to me as he shed his robe, revealing his broad shoulders and sculpted back that narrowed to his trim waist. He leaned over to start the water and I sucked in my breath at the sight of him. He looked so unbelievably hot and it took all my restraint not to join him.

He turned around just as he got in the shower and caught me staring at him. I could feel the heat rush to my face.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, trying to come up with an excuse.

"It's okay, Bella. Do you need something in here?" He smiled again and I knew that I was busted.

"Uh…no, I just need to get my makeup," I lied.

He pulled the shower curtain closed and laughed lightly to himself. I tried to recover and grabbed my makeup, practically running from the room.

_Nice stealth job, Bella._

He emerged from the bathroom after his shower and I was eternally grateful that he didn't bring up my Peeping-Tom moment. He looked ravishing. His hair was tousled just the way I liked it and he wore long shorts and a fitted shirt. He really did look like a God.

I felt frumpy next to Edward, who could wear nothing but a potato sack and look hot. I had on a simple cotton sundress and flats. It was all about comfort for me when I traveled, but now that I was with Edward, I wished I had a better selection of clothes.

_Maybe he won't notice. _

We left the hotel room and walked down the Champs-Elysees toward the Louvre. I was excited about spending the day in the world famous museum. Edward held my hand as we walked, staring down any man who even glanced in my direction. It was cute that he was so possessive.

The day was already quite hot so we stopped to get gelato from a street vendor on the way to the museum, sitting down on a bench to finish it before we got there. Edward was adorable, making moaning noises in appreciation of the flavor, similar to the ones he made during breakfast. I loved how playful he could be. At one point, he reached over to wipe some gelato off my face. I couldn't control myself any longer and so I grabbed his hand and slid his finger into my mouth, sucking off the gelato. I closed my eyes and let my tongue run along the length of his finger. He tasted sweet and salty- delicious. He pulled his finger out slightly, but I pulled it back in.

His eyes went dark and he inhaled sharply, finally freeing his finger from my mouth. "Bella, I'm trying to be a gentleman, but even I have my limits."

I leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear, "I don't want you to be a gentleman." I figured I may as well make my feelings on the subject known. I knew he had been holding back because of me and I wanted him to know that it was no longer necessary. I wanted him too badly to deny myself, even if my heart could be hurt in the process.

He smiled flirtatiously and pulled me close to him, kissing my neck gently, his breath tickling me. "Is that a fact? Oh Bella, you really shouldn't have said that."

_Fuck me._

All I could do was moan and enjoy his soft kisses.

We finally stood and finished walking to the museum. The Louvre was as amazing as I'd pictured. I could have easily spent a week in there, admiring the incredible works of art. As we walked through the endless halls filled with the world's most renowned art, Edward was attentive to my every need. He asked me questions about each piece and seemed genuinely interested in learning. In addition, he was tremendously affectionate. He snuck kisses and snaked his arms around me when we admired the art. I enjoyed the feeling of being so close to him. Perhaps we were both absorbed in the beauty of the museum. It was hard not to feel that way when at the Louvre. Even those who didn't know anything about art would be taken in by the magic of it.

Our conversation flowed as it always did. He was so easy to talk to and we talked about absolutely everything: what I wanted to do when I graduated, his experiences in medical school and our families. I was so impressed with all he had accomplished in his life. He was the most driven person I had ever met.

We wandered back to the hotel to change clothes for dinner. I took a long, hot shower, allowing my fears and worries to run off me like the water. I stepped out of the shower and as I was drying off, I could feel Edward's eyes on me, dark with lust. He stood unapologetically, with his arms crossed, in the doorway of the bathroom with a devilish smile on his face.

"Oh, I didn't see you standing there," I said, feeling suddenly self-conscious, covering up quickly with my towel.

"Turnabout is fair play," he said, not relinquishing his position, nor taking his eyes off me.

"What are you talking about?" I replied as I tucked in the ends of the towel to hold it in place.

He walked toward me seductively, taking his time with each step, "Well, you were checking me out earlier when I was showering, so I figure it's my turn now."

_Yep, I was busted. _

I was acutely aware of him being so close to me. All that was separating me from him was this little towel. My body reacted to his proximity, eager for his touch.

"I was not…"

Okay, I was and he knew it.

He kissed me lightly and smiled. "It's okay, I didn't mind you looking at me. As for me, I liked what I saw very much." And with that, he left the bathroom, leaving me and my beet red face to get ready. We were both exhausted, but got a second wind after a shower and my embarrassing encounter with Edward.

Wanting to impress him, I put on a fitted pair of jeans and loose silky top. It was one of the cutest outfits I had. I let my hair hang down the way Edward had said he liked it. I thought I looked pretty good. Edward wore black jeans and a black short-sleeved top. As usual, I gawked at how gorgeous he was. Who wouldn't? The man oozed sex.

We ate a casual dinner, which was nice after our five-hour long event from the night before. The food in Paris was quite a welcome change from that in London and we savored it as well as the wine, which seemed to be readily available and free flowing. After dinner, we had planned to go see an American rock band at a small club in the Latin Quarter. I was excited to dance and hear the sounds of home.

The walk to the bar was serene as we strolled along the river's edge, the light bouncing off of it in shimmers. It was nice just enjoying each other's company. The wine diminished my inhibitions and I felt comfortable being openly affectionate with Edward, giving him frequent kisses and affectionate touches. He seemed to appreciate it as well.

The bar was slightly stuffy and very crowded. The smell of cigarette smoke wafted throughout and the haze made the bar seem almost dreamlike. There weren't any tables available so we hung out by the bar, talking and enjoying the music, even occasionally dancing. Edward left me alone at one point to go to the bathroom, at which point, a young guy approached me.

"You're pretty hot, do you speak English?" he asked, in a thick New York accent.

_Ewww. Not interested._

I nodded and flashed him a fake smile, glancing around for Edward.

Unrelenting, he brushed his hand on my arm, standing far too close for my comfort.

"Why don't we go dance? I bet you've got some really good moves." He was obviously not very good at reading non-verbal cues.

I winced at the thought. Just then, I saw Edward approaching us with a look of fury in his eyes.

_Thank God he's back._

It didn't take a rocket scientist to interpret the jealousy seething from Edward at the sight of me talking to another man, especially the creepy one I was currently with. I liked that he felt that way, however unnecessary.

He grabbed my arm and dragged me out onto the dance floor, without so much as a word to the guy that was bothering me.

"What the fuck was that about, Bella?" The anger was still very much present in his voice.

"He was just some creep who wanted to dance." I rubbed my arms on his back to soothe him.

"Well, I almost beat the fuck out of him," Edward admitted, burying his face in my hair.

"Hey," I pulled back to look at him, "I'm not here with him. I don't want him. I want you."

A low groan emanated from Edward's chest as he squeezed me tightly, my explanation having apparently satisfied him.

After a long set, the lead singer stepped off the stage and the guitarist stepped up to the microphone to speak. "Nick is taking a quick break, so we hope you'll enjoy this instrumental song, which is a cover of a Joe Satriani song called 'Always with you, Always with me'."

_I fucking LOVE that song._

The sensual music started playing and I pulled Edward tight against me, swaying to the slow and steady beat. He wrapped his strong arms tightly around my waist and leaned into my shoulder, our chests pressing against each other. I could feel his breath on my neck and I hummed in appreciation. He smelled masculine and clean; I buried my face in his neck to take it in. His body was warm and strong and I couldn't seem to get close enough.

As the song played on, he pulled me closer and closer into him. Our dancing became more and more needy as our touches spurred each other on. My leg straddled his as my arms clutched the firm muscles of his back, my fingers spread wide. I could feel his arousal on my hip and it only fueled my own. I enjoyed knowing that I could have that effect on him. As we swayed, I felt myself grind on his leg to create the friction my body desperately wanted. He should know the effect he had on me as well. He moaned into my neck as his hands moved all over my back with intention, eventually settling on my lower back. His fingers gripped the top of my jeans, tightening and releasing, revealing his desire as well as his restraint. I felt his fingers graze the skin on my back and I willed him to continue his ministrations. I was sure we were being inappropriate but I couldn't bring myself to care. I wanted him so badly and his touch set my skin on fire.

He leaned in to me and whispered in my ear, "Bella, I don't know how long I can do this. You're driving me crazy."

"Mmm, I'm glad I'm not the only crazy one here," I hummed.

"I can't stop touching you."

"I don't want you to stop," I admitted. He hissed at my words and we continued moving to the powerful music as he peppered my neck with kisses.

"You're going to be in big trouble later. Mmm, the things I'm going to do to you and it's going to be so fucking good," he said, exhaling sharply to emphasize the word "so".

_Jesus Fucking Christ._

"Let's go." I was not going to wait another minute.

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**A/N: *ducks* Sorry for the cliffie! But to make it up to you, I am planning on posting the next chapter early and we'll see what happens from EPOV. Check the thread over at Twilighted for my inspiration pics of the hotel room. Also, I posted the song they were dancing to on there as well as Tweeted it. If you don't know the song- go check it out. It's Joe Satriani- Always with you, Always with me. It's so slow and sensual! Love it! **


	15. Chapter 14 Heat

**A/N: Thanks for all the notes letting me know you're all still with me. I love my readers so much, you have no idea! Every time I get down or feel like everything sucks, you guys pull me through.**

**For the lurkers (you know who you are), please shoot me a review and let me know what you're thinking about the story. Even if all you say is "Liked it" or "This story sucks", it helps to have the feedback. I have a lot of people on alert who I've never heard from and I'd really like to know what you're thinking. Please don't make me beg, I'm not above it. LOL.**

**Reviews=Teasers**

**I posted some pics over on Twlighted that inspired me. I also posted the song from last chapter (hot). **

**I love my betas, scsquared and Twihart, so much that I feel like a broken record! Also, special thanks for Sunfeathers for pre-reading! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 14:**

**June 2003- Paris**

**EPOV**

I was having the most erotic dream. Bella was being very naughty and sassy. She was saying the most graphic things, telling me what she wanted me to do to her as she straddled me and rode me gloriously hard. She was whispering loving things in my ear and kissing my face with little butterfly kisses. It felt so real. I could feel her hair tickling my cheek and neck. I could feel the heat from her lips and I could smell her sweet breath as it swept across my face. Suddenly, I realized I wasn't dreaming anymore. It actually was Bella waking me up with kisses.

I knew she could feel my hard-on when I pulled her down on top of me, based on her devilish grin, but she didn't say anything about it. I wanted to stay in bed with her wrapped up in my arms and have my way with her, but she had gone out of her way to get us breakfast and we did want to spend a lot of time sightseeing. I told myself that I had promised to be a gentleman and that there would be time for playing later when Bella was ready. I just hoped she would be ready soon.

I couldn't remember a time when I slept so soundly. Bella's rhythmic breathing next to me was soothing. Her skin was warm and soft against mine and several times throughout the night, I caressed her lightly to make sure she was real.

Breakfast was delicious as we sat on the balcony enjoying the view of the city, but too soon it was time to get ready for the day. Just as I was about to get into the shower, I caught Bella staring at me through the bathroom door. She blushed furiously, which I thought was adorable.

_So maybe she does want me, after all?_

I was pleased.

At one point on our walk to the Louvre, we stopped at a stand to get some gelato. I hadn't treated myself to gelato in a long time, so I was particularly enjoying it. Bella, on the other hand, seemed to get more on her face and clothes than in her mouth. I reached over to wipe a glob of gelato off her face and she quickly licked it off my finger. Actually, she didn't even lick it, she sucked it off. _Fuck!_ The feeling of my finger in her mouth sent me reeling. She knew what she was doing to me, the little tease. I had to stop or I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.

"Bella, I'm trying to be a gentleman, but even I have my limits."

She leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I don't want you to be a gentleman." It took every ounce of strength I had to not pick her up and throw her over my shoulder like a caveman and carry her back to the hotel, or worse just throw her down and take her right there with everyone watching.

_That did it. Game on._

We had fun in the museum and Bella was so excited about the art. She lit up as she talked about all the famous pieces. I followed her around like a puppy, but my mind was consumed with images from my dreams, what I knew would be happening later. I wanted her badly and had tried to control myself for her benefit, but since her admission earlier, I knew that I would have her. I couldn't wait to get her alone.

While back at the hotel changing for dinner, I stalked up on her while she was toweling off from the shower. The temptation to peek was simply too great and since I had caught her doing the same to me, I figured it was fair. Her skin was flawless and creamy white as she wiped the water droplets dry. Her wet hair hung down over her face, preventing her from seeing me. Her breasts were exposed and I swear that my mouth actually salivated at the thought of kissing them; my fingers twitched in anticipation of caressing them…feeling how soft they were. My body definitely responded to the beautiful vision before me. I had to get out of there before I attacked her and I didn't want our first time to be a result out of control hormones. She was very embarrassed and blushed, but I couldn't help teasing her a bit.

We had a great time at dinner and then went to a lively bar. It was a nice change of pace from the mellow pubs we'd been to in London. It was smoky and crowded and very loud. She dragged me onto the dance floor several times, and I loved watching and feeling her move.

My desire for Bella was reaching a level that I began to doubt my self-control. At one point, I pushed her up against a wall near the bar and kissed her with everything I had. She looked shocked, and if I'm not mistaken, a little pleased, but she had no idea what I really wanted to do. And I really wanted to do more.

I left her alone to go to the bathroom and when I came back there was some guy running his hand up her arm, leaning in close whispering in her ear. I felt the heat in my body rise and all I could think about was kicking the living shit out of the guy.

_Mine. _

I stalked through the bar, probably looking like a fucking psychopath, but I didn't care. That asshole needed to get his fucking hands off Bella.

_Mine._

I grabbed Bella's arm forcefully and dragged her onto the dance floor, making it plainly obvious that she was taken. I was still seething but Bella's touches slowly calmed me and her admission that she wanted me changed my focus entirely as we danced. My self-control was definitely fading.

When we started to dance at the end of the night, there was a noticeable change in both of us. I didn't know if it was the alcohol talking or just the pent up lust that we both had been feeling, but it was palpable.

Dancing provided the closest contact I'd had with Bella and it made me highly anticipate what I knew would come later that night. I didn't know how much longer I would be able to hold out and it was apparent that she felt the same. We got so close that she straddled one of my thighs and our hips ground in time to the music. I could feel her heat on my thigh. I let my hands roam her body and she made small moans of appreciation, which just fueled my desire for her.

"Bella, I don't know how long I can do this. You're driving me crazy." She had to know what she was doing to me.

"Mmm, I'm glad I'm not the only crazy one here," she replied.

_No, you really don't understand._

"I can't stop touching you," I said as my hands gripped her jeans, pulling her hips against my erection.

"I don't want you to stop."

_That fucking does it. _

"You're going to be in big trouble later. Mmm, the things I'm going to do to you and it's going to be so fucking good," I hummed as I kissed her neck.

_I can't wait._

She looked flustered and caught her breath. "Let's go."

_Fuck yes, let's go._

The cab ride home left little doubt as to what was happening. She practically climbed into my lap, kissing me fervently, as her hands fisted in my hair.

"We should stop and get some condoms," she said.

I shook my head, barely stopping her kisses long enough to speak, "No need, Emmett left me a year's supply. Apparently he had high hopes for us too, so we're good."

We made our way inside, keeping our hands relatively to themselves to avoid being stared at. I'm sure we looked as though we'd just woken up; at least I did after Bella's hands had their way with my hair.

I opened the door to the room and turned to find the light. Bella immediately went to the bed, stripping it of all the pillows and pulling back the covers.

_Bella, I want you too, let me show you how much._

I dimmed the lights and stalked across the room, unbuttoning my shirt as I went. Her skin glowed in the moonlight coming through the window and she looked like an angel standing before me. Fun and games aside, I was done waiting. I was overpowered with the need to be with her and my willpower was gone.

"Bella, you are positively angelic. You are more beautiful than any sculpture or painting we've seen in all the museums," I said to myself, so low I wasn't even sure she heard me.

Bella stood nervously on the side of the bed, her eyes fixed on me as she watched me strip off my shirt. Her strong emotions were evident in her deep brown eyes and her gaze was so tender and passionate. She was ready for me. She was ready for us.

I finally reached her and put my shaking hands on the hem of her shirt, lifting it up. She raised her arms above her head in cooperation. My hands grazed her sides as I slid the shirt up, taking in the sight of her naked torso.

_So soft._

"Bella, I want you so badly that it hurts." I pulled the shirt completely off and lightly kissed her bare shoulder. She tasted sweet and clean and I inhaled deeply to take it all in.

"We've waited long enough."

_Not another minute longer._

She wasted no time with me. Her hands reached for the button on my jeans, shaking slightly and my stomach tightened at the contact. My skin was on fire and I was eager to be free of my binding clothes. Her eyes never left mine as she skillfully undid the button, lowered the zipper and pushed my jeans down enough so I could step out of them. Then she was back at my hips again, slipping her soft fingers beneath the waistband of my boxers. Her hands were cold on my skin, but quickly warmed as she slowly removed my boxers. She reached around my waist and then lower onto my ass, but I ran my hands down her forearms to stop her. It was my turn.

"Bella, you have far too many clothes on," I sighed as I touched her neck, kissing her softly.

I let my hand trail down over her breast and cupped it gently. My other hand came up to meet it and I slid both around her back to unclasp her bra. Once it was gone, I caressed her breasts again. She was so soft, yet so firm beneath the thin layer of her skin, like water running over rocks- so perfect. I gradually moved lower over her taut stomach as her breath hitched. I kissed her neck and shoulders lightly as my hands moved lower. My fingers dipped below the waist of her jeans as I slowly unbuttoned them and slid them down over her hips, taking her underwear with them. I knelt down in front of her to help her out of her jeans, noticing how long her legs were. I could smell her arousal, sweet and hot. My hands clasped her right ankle, completely surrounding it with my fingers like wet clay spinning on a wheel. I stood slowly, allowing my fingers to move higher up her leg until my hand just grazed her center. She was slick and wet to my touch and my fingers instinctively slipped to cup her, dipping just a little bit inside.

_Fuck, so wet for me. Just me._

"Do you feel what you do to me?" she asked breathily.

Her small hand reached down and caressed my length causing me to gasp at her touch.

_Do you see what you do to me, Bella?_

By this time, my face hovered just above hers and I could see the arousal and anticipation in her expression. "I'm going to make you come so hard." I gently pressed my palm against her clit. I wanted her to feel all the pleasure I could give her.

She moaned hearing my words and kissed me, her tongue moving in synchronization with mine. I caressed her back as I moved us slowly down on the bed, her lying beneath me with my weight resting on my forearms. She opened her legs wide for me and reached around to grab my ass as I positioned myself between her thighs. Seeing her spread out before me, ready and willing, was a sight I'd never forget.

She pulled my hips to her, the tip of my cock soaking up her slickness, but I pulled back.

"No Bella, I'm going to take my time. I need to take my time. I need to appreciate all of you. You deserve to be worshipped and I don't intend to miss a single spot." I lowered myself to lie right next to her, my legs intertwined with hers as my hand reached for her breast. My cock ached as I explored and touched her body.

"Kiss me, Edward," she sighed and I obliged. This kiss was unlike any others we'd shared. It held the promise of us being together, loving each other, trusting each other. It quickly deepened and my hands roamed her body. I wanted to know every inch of her. I kissed and sucked on her breast, bringing it to a hard peak on my tongue, as she writhed and moaned beneath me.

_That's it, Bella, let me take care of you. _

Still kissing her breast, my hand moved lower and I could tell she was holding her breath.

"Breathe," I said, my mouth still touching her skin.

She was shaking in anticipation of my touch and clutching my shoulders. "You're making it nearly impossible." I glanced up and saw her smile and continued my exploration.

I needed to be closer to her, to feel every part of her. My middle finger reached her slick entrance first and I slipped it inside, my thumb rubbing her clit. She arched her back sharply at the sensation. I smiled as I kissed her neck, knowing that I could bring her to that place. Feeling her from the inside, knowing that I was bringing her pleasure, excited and enticed me.

I added another finger gently and began to move in and out of her. Her body clung to me and my mind went wild with the sensation of being inside of her. I wanted her with every fiber of my being.

"Edward…fuck…" she sighed, squirming as she threw her head back.

_Fucking beautiful. _

Her breath sped up and the moans grew more frequent and I could tell that she was close to orgasm. I had dreamed of what she would look like during an orgasm and I was anxious to make the reality perfect.

"Bella, let me do this for you," I said softly, in between kisses.

"Oh God, Edward…fuck…I'm gonna come…" She arched her back again, this time much more powerfully and I could feel her walls clasp around my fingers as her orgasm ripped through her. I watched her eyes close and her face flush as she rode out the waves of pleasure.

"Fuck, Edward, are you trying to kill me?" she teased as she recovered slightly.

"You didn't look like you were dying to me," I teased back.

"I don't want to know where you learned to do that, but thank fucking God you did." She smiled and kissed me.

I was ready. I was more than ready. Bella made me feel things that I didn't know I could feel. I wanted to possess her and cherish her. My cock fucking throbbed and I couldn't wait another minute to have her, make her mine.

I reached over and grabbed a condom from my pants and slid it down my length as she watched. She was as eager as I was.

"Come here, I need you closer" she said, pulling me on top of her. I positioned myself between her legs, taking in the sight before me. I moved slowly forward, my senses raging on high alert, as I entered her for the first time. Our eyes were locked on each other; nothing else existed but the two of us, joined as one for the first time. We both moaned as I filled her completely and her body adjusted to me.

_So warm. So unbelievably tight. So perfect._

I almost came right then, the feeling was so overpowering. I had to still myself to regain what little control I had. I was pulled from my intense concentration by Bella, who exhaled sharply beneath me, adjusting to my invasion of her body.

"Oh God, Edward, you feel so good," she breathed, her hands pulling my hips to her. "Please move."

I lowered onto my forearms and pushed deep into her, as she raised her hips to meet mine and we both moaned in pleasure. I silenced her moan with my mouth as our tongues danced, frenzied with desire. Then I dragged my tongue lower across her neck tasting her skin; sweet, salty, delicious. Our open mouths made contact with each others' skin tasting, licking, through hot breaths and pants.

I picked up my pace and moved in a steady rhythm, my body slipping and sliding against hers. Her legs wrapped around me tighter, pulling me in deeper. I was completely focused on Bella, reveling in her touch, lost in her body.

Bliss.

I felt myself beginning to lose control, but I held out for Bella. Having witnessed her orgasm, I could tell she was rapidly approaching it again and I wanted to be there with her. I moved faster and more forcefully, thrusting powerfully into her. She gasped and moaned loudly as she came and I continued moving to make the orgasm last as long as possible for her. Seeing her come though, had pushed me over the edge and I exploded into her, my body wracked with spasms.

_So good._

My forehead hit the bed beside Bella's head and I let my body weight rest onto her. She rubbed my back sweetly and kissed my shoulders until I could move again. I looked into her eyes and smiled widely at her face, which was flushed with color. She leaned up and kissed me gently and I deepened the kiss, putting all of my emotion into it.

"Bella…I…that was…you were perfect," I said, still panting heavily.

"You were amazing, Edward." Hearing her praise made me swell with pride, despite knowing that she was the one who was amazing.

We lay in bed, still exploring each other's bodies, enjoying the feeling of being touched. Time seemed to stand still. Bella was far beyond any of my wildest fantasies (and I'd had some wild fantasies). She was loving and passionate, yet soft and feminine. Our bodies moved together like they were made for each other.

Bella got up to go to the bathroom, while I discarded the condom and rested back on the pillow, my hand behind my head. That was the first moment that I realized that I couldn't go back. I was changed and no matter what happened going forward, I would always be changed. This beautiful woman had come into my life and made me feel things that I didn't even know were possible, especially not in the short amount of time we had been together. Everything felt different with her, more intense.

I thought I had been in love before, but being here with Bella made me realize how much more it could be. I was falling in love with Bella and was powerless to stop it. Even more frightening to me was that I didn't want to stop.

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**A/N: So? What did you think? Was it worth the wait? Shoot me a review to let me know!**


	16. Chapter 15 Girl's Night Out

**A/N: Thanks for all the love this week. You guys keep me writing, you have no idea. **

**I have to admit that I was a little surprised by some of the responses to the last chapter. However, I can understand some of your frustration and as a result, I've reworked my outline to be just in the present going forward. I will post the remaining past chapters as outtakes if you are interested in reading them. I'll let you know when that happens. Thanks for the suggestions and I hope that these changes keep the story moving along well. **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Special thanks to my betas, scsquared and Twihart, who worked with me endlessly on making the changes to the outline. I couldn't have done it without you! Also, I need to give some love to Sunfeathers for her help. **

**I am going out of town for the holidays so it might take me a few days to respond to your reviews, but I promise that I will!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 15:**

**May 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

I so needed a night out. Things at work had been hectic as we were working with a new artist and he was less than cooperative. I still hadn't gotten over seeing Edward but my friends had been very supportive of me, taking me out so I wouldn't be alone. Thankfully I hadn't run into him again since we met at the coffee shop a few weeks back.

I knew he didn't want to hurt Jasper but I couldn't help but think somehow Jasper would get over it. After everything we had been through, Edward and I finally deserved a chance. And yet I knew I just needed to resign myself to us never being together by some cruel twist of fate. I'd spent the last two weeks dealing with my conflicting emotions. I couldn't allow myself to drown in the memories of our time together or dwell on something that would never be.

Rosalie, Alice and I were going out to a new club that just opened up downtown. It was supposed to be the place to be seen, so we were going to check it out. I normally shied away from clubs, much preferring the casual atmosphere of smaller bars, but I'd been really trying to be open-minded and try new things. Plus, I couldn't deny Alice anything once she got her heart set on something. She could be quite persuasive.

Alice poured us all a glass of wine and cranked up the stereo as we got ready. She was so energetic and fun that it was hard not to be happy in her presence. She danced to the blaring music, bouncing around the house in her bra and underwear as she belted out song lyrics. She was a complete maniac and made a huge production out of everything. Even something as simple as getting ready to go out turned into a big deal with Alice around. To be honest, it was fun that she got so excited and her enthusiasm wore off on me.

"Jesus Christ, Alice, go get fucking dressed," Rosalie said, emerging from the bedroom looking like a supermodel.

Alice feigned disgust, shrugged her shoulders and stalked into the bedroom to get dressed herself.

Rose was wearing the tightest red dress I had ever seen and four inch heels that made her appear inhumanly tall. She was a total bombshell and everywhere we went, people always noticed Rosalie. It was futile to try and compare to her, I just had to accept my role as her less attractive and much shorter friend.

_C'est la vie._

Alice finally appeared, looking adorable in super short black shorts and a green silky top. She had on high wedge heels that made her petite frame look not quite so petite. She had great legs, so she could totally pull off that look. Her spiky hair and red lipstick completed the eclectic look.

I had changed multiple times. I didn't normally go to clubs so I had no idea what to wear. Alice tried to get involved, but I refused her help, knowing that she'd love nothing more than to play dress up with me and I'd end up looking like a clown. I settled on a fitted mini skirt and an indigo blue top. Truthfully, I had pretty decent legs myself and thought I looked fairly good, all things considered. I rarely wore makeup, but did manage to pull off a smoky eye look with shimmering lipstick. I didn't even look like myself. It was fun.

We only had to wait in line for a short time once the bouncer got a look at Rosalie. As much as I hated being her plain friend, her beauty did have its perks. The inside of the club was crowded and hot. I normally hated crowds, but the loud music and well-dressed, beautiful people got me excited. The energy was palpable. We weaved our way through the crowd to the bar and ordered drinks quickly, once again thanks to Rose's flirting with the bartender.

I took a long pull on the straw of my cocktail, hoping to feel the effects of the alcohol sooner rather than later.

"Damn, that's good." I said, taking another sip.

We found a small table upstairs that was out of the way of the crowd and we all squeezed around it. It overlooked the dance floor and bar below, so we could still see all the action. I was not used to walking in heels so I appreciated the reprieve from standing. Alice left to go to the bathroom as Rosalie and I tried to chat over the loud music.

"Did you ever hear from Edward again after the fiasco with Jasper?" she asked, swaying to the music and sipping her drink.

"God no. I doubt he would call me after the way we left things," I said, feeling frustrated and sad about our circumstances.

"I still can't believe your luck." I could always count on Rosalie to be brutally honest. Suddenly, she said, "What the hell is taking Alice so long? Did she fall in?"

I was thankful for the change in the subject.

We looked around for Alice, but she was nowhere to be found. We weren't worried, this was her typical behavior. She could talk to a telephone pole for an hour and whenever we were out, Alice always made new friends within minutes. I was pretty good at that too usually, but I hadn't felt like mingling lately.

"Every single guy that walks by us is staring at you, Rose," I said, as she smiled and rolled her eyes playfully.

"Oh Bella, they're staring at you too, if you'd stop to notice." I loved that Rose was so blunt. What you saw was what you got with her; there was never any air of pretense with her. But what people usually didn't know about Rose from looking at her was how intelligent she was, how fiercely she loved, and to what lengths she would go to protect those she loved. The woman was a force of nature wrapped up in a gorgeous package.

She practically spat up her drink as she glanced over my shoulder, causing me to jump forward to help her.

"Holy shit," she said, coughing wildly, her eyes bugging out of her head.

I turned my head and saw Alice walking towards us, with Jasper following right behind her.

_Holy shit is right._

I stood up, feeling panicked, pulling down my skirt and straightening my top. I needed to do anything to keep me from concentrating on what was really happening. Jasper walked right up to me and gave me a big hug.

"Hi Bella, how are you?" he asked sweetly. His eyes sparkled with amusement and he smiled brightly. I had forgotten how attractive Jasper was with all my thoughts of Edward. He was also so relaxed and charismatic and radiated charm and class which balanced his boyish good looks and playful nature. He would make some lucky lady very happy some day.

_He's so nice. How could I have hurt him? I'm such a bitch._

"I'm good, Jasper. How are you doing?" I reciprocated, suddenly needing to inspect my pedicure.

"Things are good. Work's been busy but I'm managing. I just ran into Alice downstairs and we got to talking."

They both sat down as we squeezed even tighter around the small table to accommodate an extra person. I felt oddly okay being around Jasper. He was really trying to go out of his way to be nice and I appreciated that. Best of all, he didn't seem weird around me and that was a huge relief.

Alice leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Edward's here. He's downstairs."

And just like that, my night went to shit.

_I should have stayed home._

The blood pooled in my face and I could feel my body heat rise. I couldn't face him. I was the epitome of a chicken shit. My mind began racing with different scenarios.

_What if he is here with another woman? What if he isn't? _

The conversation continued around me, without my participation. I listened and smiled at all the right times but my mind was elsewhere. Alice and Jasper looked like they had been friends for years and seemed to get along great. Rosalie could always be counted on to be interesting. It took the pressure off of me, and aside from Alice, no one else noticed my anxiety.

At least not until a pair of emerald green eyes and an unruly bronze mane descended upon our table.

_Holy fuck._

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and then proceeded to suck down the remainder of my drink, feeling suddenly parched.

_You can do this, Bella. _

"Hi Bella," Edward said, nervously clearing his throat.

I glanced up quickly and then back down, keeping my eye contact brief. "Hi Edward."

_Oh God, I need another drink. _

"Bella!" Emmett bellowed and I couldn't help but smile.

_Thank God Emmett's here too. _

I introduced them to Rosalie and Alice and everyone scooted around, moving chairs as they joined us. It was getting awfully tight around the small table. Too tight.

_Must get another drink. Pronto._

"Does anyone need anything?" I asked as I stood up.

_Please say no. Please say no._

Everyone shook their heads and I practically ran from the table, down the stairs to the bar.

I never did shots, but I ordered a tequila shot and slammed it down to give me the courage to get through this night. I knew it wasn't the most responsible thing to do, but my coping skills weren't that well honed. I needed some help. And then some more help with shot number two.

_You can do this, Bella. No, you can't._

I couldn't go back upstairs with Edward there so I decided to go and dance. At least on the dance floor I didn't have to be tortured. The music was blaring and I weaved my way in and found a place to dance. I didn't like dancing by myself, but it sure as hell beat the alternative. The song changed and my favorite Black Eyed Peas song came on. I moved my hips to the music and was actually able to forget my troubles for a minute. A really cute guy sidled up next to me and we just naturally started to dance together. He was tall with dark hair and had I not been in the midst of an emotional crisis, he would have been someone that I'd be interested in. He was polite and kept the dancing clean, despite the serious grinding going on around us.

My eyes moved casually around the bar as I danced, noticing the beautiful people. As I scanned the upstairs balcony, I saw Edward at our table, leaning on the railing, eyes fixed on me. I quickly looked away, but could still feel his intense gaze.

The beat of the music slowed down, not really into one of those slow songs from a junior high dance, but one that brought the bodies closer together in more sensual movements, which created an awkward moment for me and my hot, but unknown dance partner.

"Shall we?" he asked, his arms up in a dance posture.

I reluctantly grabbed his hand as his free hand rested on my lower back. We moved cautiously to the beat, my heart pounding. He was a gentleman and didn't pull me too close to him, which I appreciated.

_I can't do this with Edward watching._

I looked over and saw Rosalie and Emmett walking onto the dance floor and was happy to have the company. They started swaying to the music and it was clear that no one else existed for them but each other. Before I could even wave at them, they were grinding on each other without regard for anyone around them. It made me smile, actually.

_Of course he likes Rosalie. _

Watching them reminded me of a time and a place when I felt that way, lost in the moment, so caught up with my partner that the rest of the world ceased to exist. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

I glanced upstairs and thankfully Edward was gone. I couldn't handle his staring. Looking at him was torture for me and only served to remind me of the love that I had and lost. I didn't want to deal with him and just being around him was painful. Avoiding him, although cowardly, was the only way I could cope.

My reprieve from Edward didn't last long though as I saw him walking through the couples on the dance floor toward me. I lowered my head to my dance partner's shoulder, trying to hide.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

"May I cut in?" I heard Edward ask as he tapped my partner's shoulder, who then looked at me as though asking if I was okay with it. When I nodded sheepishly, he stepped away, motioning to Edward.

"It was nice dancing with you," he said politely and then walked away placing a kiss on the top of my hand. "Maybe I'll see you around?"

I nodded politely to the stranger and lowered my head nervously. My stomach was in knots as Edward stood before me, waiting for me to dance with him. He had a strange look on his face, a combination of anger, jealousy and sadness.

_I can't do this._

My body and my brain were at odds with each other. My body still wanted Edward with everything I had. But, my brain told me that it was a mistake. I couldn't have him and I'd end up feeling worse than I already did. I'd cried more times as a result of Edward Cullen than I cared to admit and I didn't want that to happen tonight. My body won the argument though, and I put one hand up around his neck and grabbed his hand with the other.

His free hand snaked around my waist and he pulled me close to his body. My body, obviously not listening to my brain at all, melted into him. I knew I should be fighting this, because just being in his arms again, knowing that I couldn't have him was going to tear me apart. The only satisfaction I got was the fact that he looked just as nervous as I did. We avoided eye contact and smiled uneasily as we spun around to the music. The electricity between us resurfaced with each movement of his hand. I put my face against his chest and inhaled deeply, trying to be nonchalant. It was the same masculine scent I remembered and I was instantly transported to the smoky bar in Paris, where we had danced before.

_Jesus Fucking Christ._

"Looks like our friends our hitting it off," I said, pulling myself from my daze and the crashing waves of memories.

Edward smiled as if he had caught me smelling him. If he had, he didn't say anything and for that I was grateful.

He glanced over at Emmett and Rosalie who were, by that point, making out passionately. I had to hand it to them; they certainly didn't waste any time with formalities.

"You could say that," he chuckled. Then his face grew a bit more serious and he nodded in the direction of Alice and Jasper, who were dancing intimately, near the stage. My mouth dropped as I saw Jasper lean in and kiss her.

_What the fuck?_

Neither one of us said anything. I was too stunned to say anything and Edward looked like his mouth had been sewn shut.

I buried my face in Edward's chest, trying to get a handle on things. Edward held me tightly and I could feel his breath on my shoulder. His breathing was long and slow and each time he moved, his body got closer to mine. It felt amazing to be that close to him again and yet I felt like I was going to burst into tears. I was at war with myself.

_Why are you torturing yourself, Bella?_

I knew why I was doing it. I loved the way he touched me and the way we moved together, despite the self-destructiveness of the whole situation. I needed him. I couldn't help but remember just how loving he could be. It fucking pissed me off that he had that kind of control over me.

_He doesn't fucking want you._

I couldn't take it anymore and I pulled away from him.

"I'm going to go sit down before someone takes our table." It was the most mild thing I could come up with as I felt the anger in me rise.

Alice saw us leave the dance floor, noticing me for the first time and broke away from Jasper, moving quickly through the crowd toward me with a look of panic on her face.

She grabbed my arm, stopping us, clearly trying to compose herself.

"Edward, I need to talk to Bella. We'll be right up, okay?" Alice said matter-of-factly.

Edward smiled, knowing that the conversation that followed would be interesting, to say the least. I'd never seen Alice look that panicked as she dragged me to the side of the bar, off the dance floor to talk. Despite the awkward conversation that I knew was coming, at least it got me away from Edward.

"Bella, shit. I don't know what happened. We were just talking, and he was so nice, and then we were dancing. Oh God, it just happened. Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm such an ass." She was seriously rambling.

The thing was, I wasn't mad at Alice. Or Jasper for that matter. I didn't have feelings for him and I knew it, which is why I broke up with him to begin with. In fact, I was glad that he wasn't still upset over me. I hated being the cause of his sadness. I had heard them talking upstairs and they really seemed to get along. They looked like a cute couple. They certainly looked happy on the dance floor. I knew that Alice would never hurt me intentionally and I wouldn't begrudge them happiness. Edward's 'man-code' loyalty to Jasper had caused me a lot of frustration, so how could I do the same thing to Alice?

"Alice, it's okay. Really, it's okay. I'm not mad at you," I said and smiled at her reassuringly.

"You aren't? Are you sure?" she pleaded. "Bella, I'd never do anything to hurt our friendship. You know that right?"

"Yes, I know that and I promise you, I'm not mad at you." I said honestly.

She hugged me tightly as if a huge burden had been lifted. "Bella, this thing with Jasper just feels right. When I ran into him and we started talking, it was perfect. He was so nice and everything just seemed to click. You know how many problems I've had with dating but Jasper seems different. He's special. I really like him. Would you be upset if wanted to see him again?"

_Would I?_

"Alice, you're my best friend and I love you. I think Jasper is a great guy. I broke up with him because it was never there between us. But I think you two would be perfect together. If you guys feel something toward each other, then you should go with it and see where it leads. Don't even think twice about me. I'm happy, if you're happy."

She flung herself at me again. "Oh thank you, Bella. You're too good to me."

I was still extremely upset, but not at Alice and Jasper. Edward had used Jasper as an excuse, a reason why he couldn't date me. He was worried that he would hurt Jasper, when it was now obvious that Jasper wasn't all that hurt at all. Yet Edward still clung to his 'man-code' of loyalty. Was everything he had said at the café just an easy way out for him? Was it ever about Jasper?

We walked back upstairs and Alice flitted over and sat next to Jasper who looked mildly uncomfortable with the whole situation, but not enough to stop his flirting. She whispered in his ear, presumably retelling our conversation. Edward and I were the only two at the table who weren't coupled off and it was extremely uncomfortable. I avoided looking at him, my eyes seeking anything but his gaze. I tried to maintain my composure, but I admit that the multiple cocktails were doing most of the heavy lifting, going down one after the other with ease.

Perhaps it was all the cocktails, but the night didn't end up being as horrible as I'd thought it would be. Emmett and Rosalie were really cute together and I wasn't surprised that they'd hit it off so well. He was so energetic that his presence soothed me. It was almost like he knew how horrified both Edward and I were to be together that he stepped in to alleviate the tension. I was very grateful and made a mental note to do something nice for him.

Even Alice and Jasper seemed to let the weirdness go, talking to each other as if they were the only two people there. Knowing them both so well, I could actually see why they hit it off so well and I was surprisingly okay with them.

Edward was a completely different story. I was still a wreck around him. Throughout the evening, I made several marathon trips to the bathroom to avoid being around him. I couldn't even look at him. Alice and Rosalie shot me knowing glances and I could see that they understood how hard the night had been for me. The fact that they both seemed to be happy and hooking up just made me stand out as the single one even more.

_I'm such a coward._

The night ended with Jasper promising to call Alice and Emmett and Rosalie practically having sex right on top of the cab.

_They'll obviously be seeing each other again. _

Edward and I were cordial, still avoiding eye contact but trying not to make the situation any worse than it needed to be. As the goodbyes were coming to an end, he stepped forward to give me a hug.

_Fuck. _

"It was nice to see you, Bella," he said, as he released me.

I didn't know if it was the drinks or Edward, but I felt a little weak in the knees.

"Yeah, you too." I inhaled one last time to capture his scent.

Alice, Rosalie and I climbed into the waiting cab and Edward continued to stare at me as we pulled away.

"What the fuck was THAT?" Rosalie demanded.

"What? You practically having sex on the hood of the cab? No doubt, what was that?" I asked defensively.

"Don't give me that innocent act, Bella. You know damn well what I'm talking about. He was looking at you as though you were something to eat and you know it."

_God I love blunt Rose. _

"He was not. He was just being nice since we were thrown together all night, no thanks to you guys," I explained, hitting each of them on the arm. "Seriously, for two friends who claim to love me, you did shit to help me out tonight. In fact, you did the complete opposite of help me out."

"You really didn't see it? Bullshit," she stated for the record, not detouring from her point whatsoever. "He fucking wants you- BAD."

I was excited at the thought, yet tortured.

_Really? You think so?_

"I'm going to have to agree with Rosalie on this one, Bella. The boy looked like a lovesick puppy," Alice chimed in.

I started to cry, the excessive alcohol finally catching up to me.

"I'm so fucking confused. What did I do to deserve this? He can look at me how ever he wants, but he won't act on it. He told me so in no uncertain terms."

Alice immediately threw her arm around my shoulders as I sobbed uncontrollably.

"Give it time, sweetie. Things will work out."

_Fucking Christ, my life sucks._

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**A/N: This was my favorite chapter to write, which surprised me because I thought it was going to be a simple transitional chapter. I don't know, I just love Bella in this one. So, what is your favorite chapter so far? I'm curious. Shoot me a review and let me know!**


	17. Chapter 16 Preparations

**A/N: Thanks for your continued support of this story! I love reading your comments, so please keep them coming. **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**The first outtake will be up this week, so put me on Author Alert and it'll tell you when it gets posted. Also, I posted a new one-shot for the Fandom Gives Back author auction. It's in my profile and it's called The Black Swan. Come check it out! **

**Thanks to my betas, scsquared and Twihart. These revisions have been tough! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 16:**

**May 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

Jasper and Emmett had practically forced me to go to the club. I had been working a shitload of hours and all I really wanted to do was go to sleep. Plus, I'd been in a funk about Bella since I'd seen her. Emmett wouldn't give up though. He's always known how to manipulate me, and so once again, I found myself doing what Emmett wanted. That was how I found myself in the middle of a loud and crowded club.

I was actually having a nice time, despite my foul mood, until Alice came over to our table and introduced herself as Bella's roommate. I didn't know how much Bella had told her about me, but her demeanor definitely changed once she realized who I was. Bella probably thought I was a complete asshole, so I was sure her roommate did too. Alice was polite though as she talked it up with Jasper. They talked a mile a minute while I just sat there reeling from the news that Bella was there. She was all I had been able to think about lately, and now she was in the same club.

_Should I go talk to her? Is she here with someone?_

I felt like such an idiot, standing there panicking about talking to Bella. When I finally did see her, I was blown away by how amazing she looked, which didn't help how nervous I already was. She didn't look like the sad person I'd seen at the coffee shop. She looked confident and happy and I felt the strong desire to beat the shit out of all the guys who were staring at her.

_Mine. She's not yours, Assward! You told her no, remember?_

No, she definitely wasn't mine. She wouldn't even look at me and I couldn't look anywhere else but at her. I watched as her beautiful eyes only focused on others. She laughed and smiled, which was a complete contrast to how I felt in her presence. I was as anxious as I was when we first met at the pub in London. She took my breath away that night in London as she was again tonight.

We all crowded around a small table, making small talk, but it was like I didn't even exist to Bella. She talked to everyone except me. I wanted to be the one to make her smile and laugh, but I wasn't. It fucking hurt and I was getting more and more pissed off, even though I knew it was unreasonable.

_Did you want her to move on or didn't you? _

Honestly, NO I didn't want her to move on, I wanted her to be MINE. She went downstairs for a drink, but when she didn't return, I looked over the railing at the dance floor and I saw her dancing with some asshole. Of course other men found her attractive, but I couldn't just sit there and let some other guy move in on Bella, no matter what I had agreed to. It just wasn't going to fucking happen while I stood by and watched.

Without thinking, I made my way onto the dance floor and interrupted Bella's dance, glaring at the asshole that was dancing with her.

_That's right, asshole, back off._

To my surprise, she agreed to dance with me. I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't beat a little faster with her acceptance. We started dancing and all I could think about was how Bella felt pressed up against me, so soft and warm. I buried my face in her hair, taking in the fresh smell that was uniquely Bella. I couldn't recall a time in recent history when I'd been so happy and yet so tortured. I just wanted to take in the moment and commit it to memory. I knew it was just a dance, but something in me changed. Whatever worries I'd had about Jasper and his feelings for Bella were erased as I held her in my arms. I knew what I had to do. Bella was all I had ever wanted and I had let enough time pass without her. I wanted her back.

It killed me to see the sadness in her eyes, especially since I knew that I was the reason for it. All the confidence I had seen in her earlier in the evening vanished, finally revealing the true depth of her unhappiness. All I wanted to do was love her but things had gotten so fucked up. I hoped that she didn't hate me because despite everything that happened, I knew down deep in my soul that I would never love anyone the way I loved her, even after five years of not seeing her.

I felt completely helpless as I watched Bella and her friends climb into the cab to leave. I wanted to talk to her and keep her with me, but I had no right to do that. As painful of a night as it had been, I was glad I got to see her. I wanted to take away the pain I had caused, but that would have to wait for another time.

I had another disastrous night, fighting for sleep and when sleep came it was tormented. I usually liked my Bella dreams. The ones where we were together exploring a new city, walking down the street hand in hand, enjoying long conversations. I especially liked the dreams when we were exploring each others bodies like we did all over that hotel room in Paris each night. My dreams last night weren't any of those. They were more like nightmares, where every time I fell asleep all I could see was the hurt and sadness in those deep chocolate brown eyes that I loved so much and my heart would clench knowing that I caused that. I would awaken in a panic and not want to close my eyes again and relive the hurt, knowing all too well that it wasn't really a dream but just my mind reminding me of my colossal fuck-up. Needless to say, sleep did not find me.

The next morning I planned on coming clean to Jasper, since he was obviously completely taken with Alice. Really, I should have done it the moment I had seen him with Bella. I needed to stop being such a pussy and just deal with this shit. Bella was worth it.

I waited in the kitchen, sipping coffee and reading the paper until he got up. He stumbled into the room, scratching his head and yawning.

"You're looking awfully awake this morning," he mumbled. "I feel like shit."

"Yeah, I'm not feeling so hot either. I slept like crap last night. I kept having these weird dreams," I said, trying to make polite conversation when all I really wanted to do was tell him that I was in love with Bella and that I was going to date her even if it killed him.

_Definitely NOT the right approach, Assward._

"You certainly looked like you were having fun last night," I said instead, raising my eyebrows. "What was that all about?"

He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down opposite me.

"You mean Alice? I don't know. I've met her before but last night was the first time I really talked to her. She's so fucking cool and we just clicked, you know?"

"Yeah, I do know, actually," I muttered nervously. "Weren't you worried about Bella? I mean, Alice is her roommate."

"Bella broke up with me, not the other way around. It's not like I planned anything, it just sort of happened. Alice felt horrible, but she told me that Bella was cool with things and Bella's not one to lie about something like that."

Hearing him talk about Bella made me bristle.

_I know what Bella's like, dude._

"Listen, I have to talk to you about Bella."

He looked up at me, confused. "What about her?"

_How do I say this delicately?_

"It's not just about her, it's about me too. I haven't been entirely honest about the nature of my relationship with her."

_Fucking understatement. God, you sound like a dick._

I explained what happened between Bella and me in Europe and how things had gone downhill for us. I told him how I had called her when we moved to Seattle and how the fact that she'd had a boyfriend had prevented me from pursuing her. Surprisingly, he seemed to take the news in stride as he listened to me explain the fucked up situation.

"Jasper, I had no idea that the girl you were dating was Bella. I'd have said something sooner if I knew. And then when I saw her with you, I almost lost it."

"You must have been pretty freaked out," Jasper said, empathetically.

"You have no idea, but I wouldn't have done anything. She was your girlfriend and I respected that." I hoped he'd believe me and not think I was coveting his girlfriend.

_Which, of course you were._

He saw through my carefully constructed façade though. "Edward, do you still have feelings for her?" he asked bluntly.

"Yes. They never went away." I hung my head, feeling guilty for not telling him earlier.

"If you felt this way for so long, why are you just telling me now?" He took a sip of his coffee and waited for my response.

"I didn't think it was right for me to do anything when you guys had just broken up. I guess I didn't want to make the situation worse."

_Yeah, well it's worse._

Jasper sighed, "I appreciate that, but it's not necessary. I'm okay with things. I've had a chance to think a lot about what happened with Bella and I think we were always meant to just be friends. She's a great girl, but I think that maybe I liked the idea of Bella more than actually being with Bella. There was always something missing between us and even though I think the world of her, the spark just wasn't there. I have better perspective. Especially after meeting Alice."

"So, you're not pissed at me?"

"For what? I can appreciate that it was a difficult situation for you. I wish you would have talked to me sooner about this. You've wasted a lot of time. Does Bella know how you feel?"

"I talked to her some, but she doesn't know everything." I was so thankful that Jasper just let me talk and listened because I'd kept everything to myself for so long and it felt like I might burst.

"Edward, if you have feelings for Bella, don't let the fact that we dated stop you from going after what you want. I'm not dwelling on Bella or what might have been."

"You really won't be mad?"

"Fuck no. Besides, I'm going to ask Alice out. Bella was cool last night and I really think we've gotten past any weirdness. I think we both know that it's the right thing for us. Hey, maybe we can double date," he said with a snicker and raised his coffee mug to me.

I laughed, "That could be fun if I can get her to go out with me after what a dick I've been."

Then his eyes lit up like he had some kind of revelation and he smirked at me. "I just realized something. That night I introduced you to Bella at the bar, she was acting so weird when we left and when I dropped her off at home. I thought I had done something wrong. I'm so glad to know what finally happened. Seeing you obviously had an effect on her too."

_I hope he's right._

I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off me and could hardly comprehend what it might mean. All these years of wishing things were different with Bella. All this wasted time in Seattle. And now, I could finally be with her with nothing standing in our way.

That is, if she'd have me, which I had no idea about. She seemed pretty content without me at the club. I'd already put her through so much. Still, I was hopeful after her coffee shop admission that she still cared for me. If she was willing to give us a shot then, I hoped that she'd be willing to do the same now. For the first time in a while, I felt hopeful.

And terrified.

I walked into my room and stripped off my boxers to get into the shower. The hot water poured over me as my thoughts drifted to Bella and our time together. I remembered the first time I saw her when she walked into the pub in London. I remembered the first time she smiled at me and the first time I made her laugh. There was only one thing more beautiful in this world than Bella smiling or laughing, and that was Bella in the throes of passion. Nothing is more exquisite!

It was hard to believe that five years had passed since we last made love, but then it also felt like I hadn't touched her in forever. If I closed my eyes, I could still see the way her body looked as she lay beneath me, naked, beautiful and ready for me, pulling me into her body. I could practically feel the way her hips moved with mine as she reveled in her release. Her skin was so soft and warm to my touch. Her small hands caressed me tenderly, yet with passion. The electricity between us was like a magnetic pull. Making love to Bella had been the closest thing to perfection I had ever experienced.

I was so caught up in my memories of her that my cock, which had subsequently become painfully hard, began to ache. My hand slipped up and down my length, slick from soap. I squeezed myself hard, picturing Bella's small hands and delicious mouth wrapped around me. It was almost embarrassing how quickly I came. I panted heavily, coming down from my high as the water washed over me.

_If only I can have her again for real._

The thought of it almost made me hard again, despite having just had an orgasm. I wanted so much more than my memories and fantasies. I climbed out of the shower and got dressed, knowing what I wanted to do and needed to do. My nerves were getting the best of me.

_What if she rejects me? _

I sat down on the bed, nervously thumbing my cell phone. Memories of being with Bella flooded my mind again and I realized just how much I wanted to be close to her again. I remembered how scared she was when we went to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I loved how she felt when I had wrapped my arms around her to comfort her. I loved how her face lit up when we were at the museums and she was talking about art. I loved how she had opened up to me about her family and allowed me to do the same. I loved how it felt to make love to her, and how exposed and vulnerable we both were. It was just the two of us cut off from the world and each day brought us closer together. I missed that.

At one point on our trip, we were walking along the Seine and a street vendor approached us, wanting to draw our picture. Bella hesitated, not trusting the man, but I thought it would be fun. She reluctantly agreed and we sat together as he sketched our picture. It was amazing how much that man, who didn't know us at all, was able to capture of our feelings toward one another in his drawing; feelings that we didn't even understand yet. I cherished those memories. It was a million little things that added up to something spectacular.

We were young and naïve back then, not realizing just how special what we had together was. In Paris, we talked about what would happen when we left as our time together grew shorter, but there was a palpable air of uncertainty. Neither of us wanted to admit that things might not work, but we didn't know what else to do. We felt trapped by our circumstances. When we actually said goodbye, I was devastated, but had I realized what I was giving up, and how rare what we had was, I'd have done things differently. Very differently.

I didn't want to beat myself up about the mistakes I'd made, but I knew that I had to get her back and it all hinged on this call.

I must have sat there on my bed for at least ten minutes, just staring at the screen, trying to gather my thoughts. I'd dial and then close my phone over and over, never quite able to hit 'send'. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to tell her about my conversation with Jasper and let her know how sorry I was for hurting her. But most of all, I wanted her to give me another chance.

Finally, I worked up the courage to actually call and waited for the phone to ring, hoping she'd be willing to give me a chance.

"Hello?" Bella's voice was tentative and low as she answered.

"Bella, it's Edward," I responded, feeling distinctly like I was going to puke.

"Oh." Her voice cracked and I could hear her shallow breaths.

"Is it a bad time?" I said lamely.

"No, it's just that I'm surprised to hear from you."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"So…uh…why are you calling?"

She didn't sound angry, just uneasy.

Of course she's uneasy, you asshole.

"Bella, will you have dinner with me tonight?" I blurted out.

Silence.

_Oh shit._

"Edward…I…I don't think…" she stammered.

"Bella, listen, I know I really fucked up. I'm sorrier than you'll ever know, but after seeing you last night, spending time with you, watching you laugh, and dancing with you again, I knew I couldn't give you up. I talked to Jasper. I shouldn't have let you leave that day in the coffee shop. I know that now. I should have talked to Jasper sooner. Ever since Paris, you're the only one I want. It's always been about you, for me. I don't blame you for not wanting to be friends. I couldn't have handled that either, but it was the only way I could think of at the time to keep you in my life. I know I've fucked up, but I want to make it better between us. Please give me another chance." I rambled incoherently.

_Serious word vomit, Edward. Did that make any sense at all?_

I was literally sweating by this point.

Silence.

"Edward, I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster lately. I'm a fucking mess. I convinced myself to move on and then you decide that you want me? What happens the next time you decide that there's some reason we shouldn't be together? I couldn't handle it." She sighed loudly and it sounded like she might even be crying.

Fuck, I'm such a dick for making her feel this way.

"It's not like that for me. I've always cared, I just didn't know what to do about Jasper. I know it sounds fucking stupid, but I didn't know what else to do. I hate that I've hurt you. I'm so sorry, Bella."

Silence.

"Bella, please just have dinner with me. I understand why you're upset with me, but I don't think I can stay away from you. I miss you. I miss what we had. I remember it like it was yesterday and it haunts me. Now there is nothing standing in our way. I promise I'll never let anything, or anyone, get in the way again."

I could hear the desperation in my voice, which I hated, but I needed Bella to understand that it wasn't just some fleeting thing for me. I should have told her how I felt when we were in Paris. I'd never loved anyone like I loved Bella and she never even knew.

Silence.

"I remember it too." She sniffled and breathed loudly before responding further. "Okay Edward. I'll have dinner with you."

Thank fucking God.

"Thank you, Bella. Is 7:00 OK?"

"Yes, I'll see you then, Edward." Her voice was soft and hesitant as though she was scared of what was about to happen.

I had Bella text me her address and I felt elated when I got it. I hoped it would be the beginning of something for us. It would be the first time that we'd ever been together where nothing stood in the way of our happiness. My heart soared at the possibility. My body reacted to the thought of being with her again. I wanted to kiss her and make love to her and finally tell her how much she meant to me. I wanted to talk to her for hours and find out all that I missed over the past five years.

I dialed the number to a local florist and ordered some lilies to be delivered to Bella. The smell always reminded me of the fresh scent of her hair and although I felt a little cheesy, I wanted to be responsible for putting a smile on her face instead of sadness.

She sent me a text a few hours later when she got the delivery.

_Got the flowers. They're beautiful. Thx. ~Bella_

I smiled seeing her words on the screen, hoping that my small gesture had made her happy as I typed my response.

_Just wanted you to smile. Can't wait for tonight. ~Edward_

I hoped I didn't sound too desperate although it didn't really matter, since I had practically begged her just to come out with me earlier.

_Me too. See you at 7. ~Bella_

I didn't want to over-analyze her words, but I felt elated reading her last text.

_She's excited too. _

I passed the rest of the day doing everything I could to keep my mind occupied, cleaning my house, running errands, anything to pass the time. I felt like a teenager getting ready for the prom, unable to control my over-active hormones. I felt lighter and more tense at the same time.

I spent an abnormal amount of time getting ready, wanting everything to be perfect for our date. I climbed into my car, nervous and sweating. I had a nice night planned, everything was perfect. Now I just needed to convince Bella to give me another chance. To give us a chance.

As I pulled up to her house, I couldn't help but feel like after tonight, things would never be the same for us again.

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**A/N: So, next up is the date. How do you think it's going to go? Shoot me a review and let me know your theories!**


	18. Chapter 17 Eiffel Tower

**A/N: OK, so here's what I decided to do (yes, I know that I'm all over the map). This chapter and the next chapter were going to be outtakes, but after long talks with my beta, I decided that they include a lot of insight into the characters (plus some juicy lemons). So, I'm including them. If you are already sick of the past storyline and don't want to read this, feel free to go directly to chapter 19 when it posts tomorrow. But, I think there are things that will be missed by doing that. I'm posting 3 chapters back to back (2 past chapters and 1 present) to give the readers the option of finishing out what was written from Paris or just moving straight to the present. **

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think. Reviews=Teasers**

**Thanks to scsquared and TwiHart, my betas, for helping me figure out what the hell I wanted to do with this. Also, thanks to Sunfeathers for pre-reading. **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 17:**

**June 2003- Paris**

**BPOV**

We just made love.

_Holy shit._

All of our pent up frustration and attraction finally made its way to the surface, bubbling over in indescribable passion. I had been with other men before but nothing could compare to being with Edward. His body just knew what mine needed and the moment he touched me, I knew it was right.

He had been passionate with me, yet gentle. He was considerate and unselfish and took all of my insecurities away. I felt loved and worshipped and I could only hope that he felt the same way.

After we both came down from our high, we settled into bed, kissing each other lightly as we continued our exploration. Edward lay on his back, while I curled up next to him on my side, my head resting on his shoulder. His arm was wrapped around my back, pulling me close to him. I rubbed his chest gently, humming in contentment. I rubbed my legs up and down his softly, enjoying the feel of his skin slipping and sliding beneath mine.

My body felt sore from the physical exertion, yet exhilarated with the sheer pleasure of being with Edward so intimately. I wanted to crawl inside of him.

"Bella, I've wanted to be with you like that since I met you," he admitted as he kissed the top of my head and stroked my back gently. "You felt amazing."

_You have no idea, Edward. _

"So did you. You know, I thought that if I resisted you long enough, I could suppress my feelings for you," I said softly, partially hoping he wouldn't hear me.

_Oh God, we're going there. _

"Did it work?" he asked, amused.

"What do you think?" I quipped back. "I mean, we _are_ lying here naked together."

"I'll confess. I was going totally crazy. I didn't know if you wanted me to make a move or not and since I promised that I'd be a gentleman, I was worried you'd think I was an asshole if I did anything."

_Not want you? Are you crazy?_

"I'm sorry to send such mixed signals, it's just that I don't normally do this," I said, gesturing between us.

"What changed your mind?" he asked, now looking at me intently.

"I don't want to live my life with regret and, to be honest, I just couldn't resist you anymore." I could feel the blush creep onto my face as I hid in his chest.

He lifted my face to meet his gaze. "Don't be embarrassed, I couldn't resist you either."

_He's perfect._

I sighed lightly as I snuggled closer to him. "Thank you for tonight, well, for everything."

"Believe me, it was my pleasure, Bella," he said, pulling me up for a kiss. His kiss was soft and sweet, yet filled with longing. His lips moved slowly as his hand moved from my back to the back of my head, his fingers threading in my hair.

"We should get some sleep. I've got a fun day planned for us tomorrow."

I rolled off of him and took my place on my side of the bed. He moved behind me and pulled me close to his body as our breathing slowed until we fell asleep.

_Fucking perfect day._

"Good morning, sleepy head." I felt my skin tingling and smelled Edward close by. My body was warm from the heat of his body.

I opened my eyes and found Edward hovering above me, looking like a fucking God.

"You were right, this _is_ a nice way to wake up," I hummed, my hand reaching up around his neck to pull him to me. He kissed me sweetly and pressed his body into mine. I could feel his arousal as he moved on top of me.

"Mmmmm, you feel good." I wrapped my legs around him, feeling his body flush against mine.

"As tempted as I am to ravage you right now, if we get started now, we'll never leave the hotel," he moaned.

"You're probably right," I conceded, running my fingers through his unruly hair.

He unraveled himself from my body, stood up and extended his hand to me to help me up. "Let's get in the shower."

_A shower with Edward? Whee!_

I followed him to the bathroom, taking notice of his perfect ass and chiseled back.

_This man was put here just to fuck with my head._

He climbed into the shower once the water was warm and motioned for me to join him. The water rolled off his body, over the curves of his muscles, allowing my eyes to roam the entire length of his frame. He tilted his head back to wet his hair and I just had to touch him.

I wrapped my arms around him, the water diverting to roll over my body as well, and leaned up to kiss his exposed neck.

"You are so unbelievably gorgeous, do you know that?" I asked, as my hands roamed his back.

_He does know that, right?_

His smile revealed his appreciation for my compliment, "Thank you, I'm happy you think so. But, when we walk down the street, it's not me that people notice, it's you."

_Right on cue- the blush._

I grabbed the body wash and lathered up my hands, rubbing them over every inch of his body. I liked the way my hands slipped over each curve. He moaned softly and pressed into my hands, obviously enjoying my ministrations.

"You're awfully dirty, Edward," I teased.

_There's that fucking adorable smile again. _

'Well then, you'd better get me clean," he replied, intertwining his hands with mine as they moved over his body. It was the most sensual, yet innocent thing.

When I finished washing him, he took over and washed me. His soapy hands caressed my shoulders, my breasts, my thighs. He moved slowly and methodically over my body, using just the right amount of pressure to drive me completely crazy.

"Bella, you have the most beautiful body," he whispered in my ear as his body closed the gap between us, slipping and sliding against mine.

_Fuck. Me._

"Hmm, we should stop or else we'll never get out," he sighed.

"I know, but I don't have to be happy about it," I huffed.

Edward was excited about his plans for us and I loved seeing him that way. No time for shower play.

Edward left me to my morning routine in the bathroom. By the time I emerged, he was dressed and ready to go, looking stunning as usual. He wore jeans and a white t-shirt that clung to his chest. His hair looked like I had just run my fingers through it, and I was sorely tempted to do just that.

I also had on jeans and a t-shirt. Since I had no idea what our plans were for the day, I chose comfort. Well, I always chose comfort.

"So, where are we headed?" I inquired.

He pulled me into a hug, kissed my forehead and said, "Have you ever been to the Eiffel Tower?"

"You mean the Eiffel Tower that is so high that I'll probably puke? That Eiffel Tower?"

_It's a real possibility. I'm not good with heights._

"Don't worry, baby, I won't let you fall." He smirked at me and I wanted to melt.

_Baby? Did he just call me baby?_

We made our way to the Metro station and headed to what was sure to be the death of me. The truth was that I wanted to see it, how could I not? It was iconic and beautiful, but given my crippling fear of heights, I knew I'd do something humiliating in front of Edward.

The elevator to the first platform almost caused my knees to buckle, despite being held tightly by Edward. He kept telling me to focus on him and not on the surroundings, which I'll admit wasn't that hard to do. However, the second elevator to the top was a different story. It was glass and with each metal frame we passed, I was reminded that we were going higher and higher. I literally shook in Edward's arms as he kissed me sweetly.

Once at the top, I crept around, trying to stay as far away from the edge as possible.

"Come here," Edward said, grabbing my arm and dragging me to the edge so we could take in the sights. He stood behind me, pressed firmly against me. His arms circled around me, protecting me from my irrational fear. He was so cute, pointing out the various attractions around the city. Despite being scared out of my wits, I was glad he dragged me up there. Seeing the city from the top of the Eiffel Tower gave it an ethereal quality. It was stunning.

"See, that wasn't so bad," Edward said, squeezing my hand as we walked toward the metro station, having survived the harrowing descent.

"Sure, now that we're down on the ground, it's easy to say that." I squeezed back. "Thanks for putting up with me."

"I'm glad you came with me, despite your fears. That says a lot about you."

Our next stop was the Musee D'Orsay, which was amazing. Between the museums in London, the Louvre and this one, I felt like I'd seen the bulk of the art I'd studied. It was just incredible. It had floor after floor of famous works and I was like a kid in a candy store. Edward, being the adorable guy that he is, was interested and curious as I spoke about the gorgeous pieces we saw.

We talked about our families more as we walked. I learned about how Edward and Emmett used to fight like cats and dogs and how his mom always came to his defense. It was adorable the way he spoke of his mom. He clearly had a lot of respect for her. I told him more about Charlie, my dad, who despite his apparent stoicism made me feel loved everyday. It was effortless to be with Edward. He made me want to confide in him and trust him with my deepest secrets and thoughts.

After we were done in the museum, we grabbed a quick coffee and headed back to the hotel to get ready. I locked myself in the bathroom, trying to make myself look worthy of Edward. I didn't have a huge selection of clothes so I ended up going with some nice jeans, boots and a blouse. I curled my hair so that it fell in waves and even put on some makeup, which I rarely did. It wasn't perfect, but it would do.

Edward didn't disappoint, wearing jeans and a cream colored cable sweater that complimented his bronze locks. Thankfully, he left his stubble and didn't shave it off.

_I fucking love that stubble. _

We decided to go to a casual restaurant that specialized in rotisserie food. The place was packed and the atmosphere was electric. Clearly, it was a place frequented by locals, which I loved. Edward and I fumbled through our French and managed to order what I hoped was chicken. Based on how close the tables were to each other, I guessed that the words 'personal space' didn't hold much meaning to the Parisians. I loved it though and was glad to see how the locals lived.

Despite the close quarters, the food was quite delicious and Edward and I ate heartily until we were completely stuffed on both food and drink.

We walked off our food comas on the way back to the hotel, wandering along the river's edge and through the still-busy streets. Paris reminded me of New York; it never seemed to slow down. Walking hand in hand with Edward, I realized how happy he made me. It was one of those light bulb moments, when something in your mind just clicks and you realize that in that exact moment, the stars were aligned. I felt at peace.

Once we got back to the hotel room, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled us both toward the bed, bringing me down on top of him as he fell onto his back. His arms wrapped tightly around my body as he rubbed up and down the length of my spine.

"Finally, I get you all to myself," he sighed, and then pressed his lips to mine. "I've been thinking about this all day."

My hands moved to his waist to pull off his sweater. Seeing what I was doing, he raised up slightly, lifting his arms to help me. The scent of him drifted from his sweater and I could feel myself getting aroused in anticipation. He kissed me passionately, his hands pulling me as close as he could, while I grasped his white undershirt.

_Must get him naked._

I was feeling frantic with need for him and based the desire in his eyes and his body language, the feeling was mutual. Once his shirt was successfully off, he moved to help me out of mine, his fingers grazing my heated skin. We moved to our pants, still kissing each other, not wanting any separation.

When we were both naked, he pressed me back on the bed beneath him, grinding his hips into mine.

"Bella, you have no idea what you do to me," he groaned, his breath short. He slid his hands underneath me, one behind my head, one behind my back, pulling me into him.

I wrapped my legs around him, needing the connection. "Edward, I want you so badly, please…"

He sat up, resting on his knees, reached for his pants and pulled out a condom.

I reached instinctively for his hand, grabbing the condom. "Let me."

He smiled at me, handing me the small square wrapper, watching as I opened it.

I slowly rolled it down over his hard length, watching his face contort in pleasure.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned. I smiled, liking his reaction.

I lay back on the bed, my legs spread wide for him, with my arms over head. I wanted him to take me.

His hands moved to my knees as he positioned himself between my legs. His lusty gaze revealed his appreciation of my body, as he slid his hands up my legs, across my torso, over my breasts and collarbone, finally coming to rest on the bed on either side of my head.

He was hovering right above my face as he leaned in and kissed me gently.

He gently palmed my aching flesh and pressed two fingers into me making me slick with need. …"Mmmm, you feel ready," he whispered.

I nodded and inhaled deeply, while he exhaled sharply as he pushed into me. He stretched me as he slid easily into me. I could feel him inch deeper and deeper into me, until his hips were flush with mine. We both moaned loudly as our bodies connected.

"Ahh, yes, Edward. So deep. I can feel you all the way up in my stomach," I breathed, arching my back into him.

One of his hands moved up my arm, both of which were still above my head. He held both of my hands in one of his, preventing me from moving as he thrust in and out of me.

"You feel so good, baby," he said softly, kissing my neck.

His hand moved down my body, resting on my ass, using it for leverage against his thrusts, enabling him to push deeper into me. With each movement of his body, I felt myself getting closer and closer to release. My hands finally released, I grabbed his ass as well, guiding and encouraging his movements. His body began to tighten under my touch and I knew that he was struggling to maintain control.

"I'm so close," I sighed, giving in to the intense sensation of being so vulnerable and intimate.

He thrust harder into me and I felt my walls contract as my orgasm ripped through me. Edward groaned loudly as I climaxed, still thrusting hard into me and then stilled to accommodate his own powerful release.

We both lay there, slick from sweat and panting from exertion until our breathing returned to normal. I could feel him limp inside of me, as he pulled out of my body. I instantly felt the loss of him as he disposed of the condom.

He came back to me quickly, lying on his back with his arms outstretched, indicating where he wanted me to lay. I assumed my position at his side. It had only been a few days and we already had a routine. I felt safe and loved in his arms.

As happy as I was, there was an underlying current of panic in my mind.

_This is temporary._

I knew he had thought about it too, but we hadn't talked and I was beginning to feel like I was waiting for a train wreck, knowing it would happen, but dreading it immensely.

"Edward?" I looked up at his smiling face.

He glanced down at me, playing with my hair. "Hmm?"

"What's going to happen to us when we leave here?"

_The shoe dropped. _

His face fell and I could see the worry written all over it. He was as concerned as I was about what our future held.

"I don't know, baby," he answered honestly. "What do you want to happen?"

I sat up and turned to face him. "I don't want to lose you."

He pulled me down and kissed me sweetly, "You won't. We'll work something out, don't worry."

But I was worried.

This man held the key to my heart, and in less than a week, he'd be gone.

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**A/N: The remaining outtake/Paris chapter and the present chapter will be up tomorrow.** **Don't forget to review!**


	19. Chapter 18 Last Day

**A/N: This is part two of the Paris outtakes. This is the only time that I have switched POV in the same chapter, but it's only because they were originally 2 separate chapters. I hope it's not disctracting. I just didn't want to lose the content.**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Again, many thanks to my betas- scsquared and TwiHart.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 18:**

**May 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

A fire engine screaming by woke me up with a startle and I felt disoriented for a few seconds as my mind processed the fact that I was awake. It was an ungodly early hour and I lay in my bed, hoping to fall asleep again. Before I could, however, thoughts of Edward poured into my conscious mind and it quickly became futile- there would be no more sleep for me.

Accepting my fate, I rolled out of bed and into the kitchen to make some coffee. The early morning light gave everything in my house an ethereal glow. I was never usually up so early, so I never got to appreciate the beauty of dawn. Still, I would have rather slept in given how late I was up. Even after Edward and I said goodnight, I found that I was so wound up that sleep was impossible.

I watched the slow trickle of the coffee into the pot and memories of mine and Edward's trip flashed before me.

It was our last day in Paris before each of us was going off to meet our friends. Neither of us talked about that fact though, as we were both too afraid of what it meant- that we wouldn't see each other again. We had planned to see all the beautiful churches in Paris that day so we had gotten up early. There was a great little sidewalk café that served fresh baked pastries and coffee not more than a block from the hotel where we stayed. Edward and I sat there, eating and laughing as though we had all the time in the world.

I could still smell the fresh coffee and pastries even after all this time. It was strange to me to have just been on a "first date" with him all these years later, when we had been so completely comfortable with each other. I'd never felt that way before my trip to Europe and I definitely hadn't felt that way since.

I sipped my coffee and walked back into my room, my slippers dragging on the floor, making squeaking noises. I stripped and turned on the faucet to fill the bath, something I rarely had the time to indulge in; smiling as thoughts of that amazing day so long ago flooded my head.

_We had decided to walk from our hotel, stopping at various places until we would eventually end up at Notre Dame. Our first stop was the Arc de Triomphe, which once again activated my acute fear of heights. It didn't look that tall from the ground, but after what seemed like a thousand steps, I had a different opinion. The view down the Champs-Elysees was breathtaking and, despite my fear, I was glad that we had seen it. _

_From there, we did a little shopping along the Champs-Elysees and meandered through the Tuileries garden to the path along the river's edge. There were several_ _street vendors lined up there and they were very aggressively propositioning us to buy the various goods they were selling. I was never a fan of being accosted on the street so I found it a bit off-putting, but Edward, who was infinitely more tolerant than I was, enjoyed the bartering process. I watched as he skillfully negotiated them to get the best deals. _

"_Bella, this guy is going to draw a picture of us," he had said, pointing toward a slightly older man who was standing eagerly against the booth._

_He waved us over with a smile and motioned for us to sit in the chair he had set up. I sat on Edward's lap, with his arms wrapped around me as the man glanced up and down making careful strokes on the paper. Edward kept kissing my neck, causing me to blush and laugh uncontrollably. I'd squirm on his lap, knowing that my movements were torturing him, as I could feel him getting aroused beneath me. We tried to sit still, but we couldn't keep our hands off each other. I wondered what that vendor was thinking. _

_It turned out that he was quite talented. The picture was in pencil and charcoal and was meticulously drawn. He had managed to capture the look I loved in Edward's face and my smile as I looked at him. I was suddenly very thankful for Edward forcing me to do it. I would have never done it on my own. Now, we would have a memento of our time together. Well, one of us would, anyway. _

The water in the bathtub finally reached the brim and I slid my clothes off and sank into the hot water. My muscles tensed and quickly relaxed as the water worked its magic on me. I dipped my head under the water and let my hair move and float as if it had a life of its own. I closed my eyes and let the memories take hold of me again.

_With our new picture in had, we boarded a ferry boat that took us up the river to Notre Dame. I didn't care that the boat was cheesy and filled with tourists, it was a great way to see the city. Plus, the city was hot and it was nice to get a brief reprieve as the air from the river cooled us slightly. I took a million pictures, trying to document each step of this journey. Edward was the object of most of the pictures, and, no matter what we were doing, the guy could not take a bad picture. _

_Notre Dame was absolutely breathtaking. The history, the design, everything. As we walked through the historic church, Edward was affectionate and loving, never missing an opportunity to touch me or hold me. His soft touches made me feel desired and loved. I would catch him staring at me and each time, the desire in his face grew with intensity. _

_We exited the church and as we walked down the narrow street toward the Metro station, Edward leaned over to me, grabbing me around the waist. _

"_I think we should call it a day," he said as he kissed my cheek, "I've got some plans for you when we get back to the hotel." _

_My body twitched at the thought of his plans and I suddenly felt an incredible urge to skip the rest of our sightseeing in favor of an evening in with Edward. We'd seen and done so much that the thought of spending our last night together just the two of us seemed extremely appealing. _

The water in the tub engulfed me in heat and I couldn't remember a time recently when I'd felt that relaxed. I recalled that incredible day in Paris, just Edward and me, cut off from the rest of the world. That afternoon had been one of the most erotic and intense experiences I'd ever had. Our first time making love was incredible but each subsequent time we were together, we learned more about each other. We became accustomed to the touch and feel of each other and the intensity of our emotions grew. Edward opened up to me as no one ever had and I wholeheartedly put my trust in him.

_Edward had opened the doors to the balcony to allow the breeze to flow through the room. The curtains lifted and billowed with each small gust. I sat on the bed and watched as he closed the distance between us, eventually coming to stand between my knees. My hands snaked their way up the back of his thighs and onto his ass, pulling him gently to me. He looked down on me as he reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it slowly up and over his head. His hands moved on my body and slowly peeled off my clothes as I did the same to him. We made love passionately for most of the afternoon, enjoying each other, maximizing the short time we had left._

I would never forget how I felt lying next to him that day: satiated, hot, desired, and loved. By this time, I had gotten out of the bathtub and into my pajamas, my vivid memories creating a fog around me. I had forgotten what Edward could do to me, how he could make me feel. That day in Paris, I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted him to know that I was in love with him, but I was too scared to go through with it. Instead I tried to show him how I felt through each touch and kiss. We stayed in that night, talking and making love as we both realized our time together was coming to an end.

I had never been as open with anyone as I was with him that day, not only physically but emotionally as well. I knew without a doubt that I was in love with him, no matter how quickly it had happened.

My heart had ached remembering how it had felt, lying there with him knowing that we would be saying goodbye the next day. I closed my eyes, trying not to think about how horrible our actual goodbye had been. I tried to put the hurt I'd felt out of my mind.

And yet, here I was again with him. He could easily hurt me as much, if not more, as he had five years ago.

_Is it worth the risk?_

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**June 2003- Paris**

**EPOV**

The morning descended upon me like a thick fog, cold and blinding. I had been dreading this day since I had met Bella and didn't want to accept our reality.

Bella's slow breathing beside me pull me from my depression and I slid over and wrapped my arms around her, causing her to stir.

She rolled over in my arms to face me, slowly opening her eyes to the new day. "Good morning," she hummed as she wrapped her legs around me.

We slept naked, so my body was acutely aware of her and reacted accordingly. My dick was painfully hard and her proximity wasn't helping the matter. I had no intention of letting her go. I needed her this morning. I needed her reassurance that we could get through this and be happy once we got back to our lives in the states. I knew she had no assurances to give though, that she was as worried about things as I was.

My hand slid to the top of her thighs and I pulled her as close to me as I could. My cock brushed against her entrance and I groaned at the slickness it found there. I rubbed against her, my length grazing her clit, spreading her wetness and creating a delicious friction.

"God Bella, you're so fucking wet," I sighed, our bodies moving together, fueling our desire.

"Do you see what you do to me?" she asked, letting her hands roam my back as we pressed against each other.

I couldn't take it any longer. I needed to be inside her, blanketed in her warmth. Apparently feeling the same way, she reached over to the nightstand and tore off one of our well-depleted stash of condoms, fumbling with the wrapper as I sat up on my knees, my erection standing up tall.

I watched her small hands reach out and grasp me, slowly sliding the condom down. It was sexy as hell to know that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I laid back down on top her, edging her legs apart so I could be as close to her as possible.

"Edward, please…" she sighed, her chest heaving with her escalated breaths.

I didn't know if I could be gentle, my need for her was almost overpowering and fierce. I knew I should take things slowly and just love her, but I was angry and confused. I was angry at having to leave her today, when we had discovered something so wonderful together. I was confused about what was going to happen when we left this sanctuary. I was scared that we might not make it and that this might be the last time I would be with her.

_Don't think like that._

No, I couldn't be gentle this morning. She was mine and I felt like possessing her, marking her as such.

I forcefully thrust into her, her heat gripping me, causing me to gasp loudly. "Bella…fuck…"

She wrapped her legs around me and thrust her hips up into me, allowing me to press deeper into her. My movements were fierce and strong and I briefly worried about hurting her, until I saw her face, which was overcome with pleasure. She allowed me to take her, trusting me with the safekeeping of her body.

Before I knew what was happening, she rolled us over so that she was on top of me, our bodies separating as she repositioned herself. Her hair fell down over her shoulders, covering her breasts. Her soft hand reached down and grabbed my cock, positioning it at her entrance, coating it once again with her slick juices.

She slammed down onto me, until she was fully seated. The change in position allowed me to penetrate her even deeper and she threw her head back with the intensity of it. Her body began to move on me, my hands guiding her hips up and then back down vigorously. Her breasts bounced as she rode me with wild abandon. The noises coming from Bella encouraged me and I felt like I was losing my control. I needed her so intensely, and I wanted to give her everything I had.

"Bella, roll over," I murmured, as my hands lifted her off of me and positioned her as I wanted.

She moved to her knees with her arms outstretched in front of her, firmly gripping the sheets for stability. I moved behind her, my hand running the length of her back, ending on her ass, which was prominently displayed for me. I knew this wasn't the most romantic send off, but it was what I needed. It appealed to my baser need to simply possess the amazing woman beneath me.

I leaned down on her, my chest flush with her back, as my fingers found their way to her slick and swollen folds, and whispered in her ear, "Fucking you like this is one of my fantasies."

"Do it, Edward," she sighed, breathily. "I want to feel you."

_Jesus Christ._

I knew it was crude, but I couldn't stop. Bella's encouragement didn't help. Grabbing my cock, I guided myself to her and pressed forward powerfully, completely engulfing myself within her. She felt tight and warm and welcoming as I drove into her over and over. I mumbled possessive thoughts incoherently, completely lost in her, hoping she wouldn't hear me.

_You're fucking mine. Mine._

Just when I thought I couldn't last much longer, Bella reached down and began to touch herself. Her fingers grazed my cock as I moved within her and I could tell she was getting close. I wanted her to come so hard that she'd never forget about me and what we had. I thought that if I could make her feel how much I wanted and loved her, then I wouldn't need to tell her. She'd just know.

"Edward…don't stop…fuck…"she screamed out as I felt her walls contract against me, pulsing with the waves of her release. I continued to move as her body writhed beneath me, her back arching and her head thrown forward.

"Oh fuck, Bella…" I said, feeling all of the morning's desire reach its peak. "I'm coming…so…fucking…hard…"

I came hard into her, my body exhilarated and spent. I leaned down and kissed her neck and shoulders, as she turned and nuzzled into my hair.

"God…I'm sorry, Bella," I sighed, "I don't know what came over me."

I should have made love to her, not fucked her three ways from Sunday.

She rolled over and pulled me on top of her, rubbing my back as she wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Oh God, Edward, don't apologize for that," she said with a giggle, "I liked it. A lot."

I kissed her passionately, my body still enthralled by her touch, "I just wanted it to be perfect and I feel like I fucked it up."

"Hey, it's not everyday that I get to be the star in one of your fantasies, let me have my moment," she said, which put me at ease and helped lighten the mood.

I couldn't help but smile and nuzzle my nose with hers, "You're wrong, Bella. You are always the star of my fantasies."

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**A/N: And now he's the star of my fantasies! What did you think? Please review and let me know.**


	20. Chapter 19 Beginnings

**A/N: So, we're back to where we were before the whole Paris outtake debaucle. This is my longest chapter yet, so I hope you enjoy it! Please review and let me know your thoughts. **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**There are no words to describe the appreciation I have for my betas, scsquared and TwiHart. Really, there aren't. If you like this story, it's because of them. **

**Also, many thanks to Sunfeathers for pre-reading.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 19:**

**May 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

I hung up the phone with Edward and just sat there, dumbfounded by the crazy turn of events. Did I really just agree to go on a date with him? It wasn't that I didn't want to go, it's just I never expected him to change his mind like that.

Feeling really anxious and a little excited, I found my self jumping up from my seat and then quickly sitting down again because my legs felt weak. "Hey Alice, come here, you aren't going to believe this shit," I yelled into the other room. Alice would freak out almost as much as I had.

"What's up?" she said, as she bound into the room, never wanting to miss the latest gossip.

"You will _never _believe what I'm doing tonight." I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as I shook my head in disbelief.

"Are you really going to make me guess? Just tell me," she said, irritated by the fact that she was being kept in the dark.

"I'm going on a date with Edward."

All I heard was screaming. "WHAT?" Alice jumped up and down with her hands over her mouth like I'd just announced my engagement.

"I know. I'm shocked too. He just called out of the blue and said he talked to Jasper… and that things were good… and he wants to see what might happen between us. How's that for shocking?"

Alice bounced over to me with an ear to ear grin on her face, and gave me a huge hug. "I knew it! Rose and I told you he wanted you. Oh Bella, I know that this thing with Edward has been pretty draining on you, especially lately, but you love him. I have a good feeling about you two this time. Give him a chance, okay?"

"I will. Or at least I'll try. I'm feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now. And, honestly, I'm scared of getting hurt again. I was just starting to feel human again and I don't know if I can handle another Edward Cullen heart fail."

_I know I can't handle it._

"Don't think like that, Bella. Be positive," Alice lectured. "So, what are you going to wear? I see a shopping trip in your immediate future."

I loved Alice, but shopping with her was like trying to survive a hurricane in a dinghy- it should only be left to the professionals.

"Thanks Alice, but I'm good."

Was I crazy to be doing this? My mind recalled all too well the empty feeling I had been left with after we said goodbye so many years earlier. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes to collect my thoughts.

_We had woken up just like any other day in Paris, warm, naked, and in each other's embrace. But that day, the air was thick with our unspoken dilemma. This was it. Edward was loving and tender and pulled me to him as we made love for what would be the last time. It was slow and sensuous and I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but even I didn't understand the depth of my feelings for him. We both tried to ignore the big elephant in the room and went methodically about packing our things. We checked out of the hotel and walked the short distance to the metro and eventually to the train station where we would board separate trains to meet our friends. _

_We had a little time to spare, so we sat down on a bench before it was time to board. I wanted to vomit. The idea of not having Edward with me was bone crushing and I felt like I was being eaten from the inside out. My stomach churned, and my chest ached as if a hole was opening to let my heart out._

"_Bella, I want you to have something," he said, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a small box and handed it to me. _

"_What is it?" I asked, nervously thumbing the box. _

_He gave me a little smile and told me, "Just open it."_

_I slowly opened the box, revealing a stunning silver pendant, attached to a silver chain. It was in the shape of a horseshoe and was lined with small diamonds that sparkled in the light. _

"_Edward, this is beautiful." He smiled hearing my praise of his gift and reached for the box, removing the necklace. He motioned for me to turn around and I obliged, lifting my hair so he could put it on. _

"_I bought this for you in London but never found the right time to give it to you. When I saw it, I thought of you because I have to be the luckiest guy in the world to have met you. You could have easily gone with Emmett instead of me. He's the friendly one. You could have gone to another pub. But instead, you walked into my life and I'm better because of it." When he was done fastening the clasp, he lightly kissed the back of my neck sending the familiar shiver down my spine. His lips were so tender and warm._

_That started the tears that didn't stop for hours. "I think I'm the lucky one." I reached my hand up to touch the pendant, lightly thumbing it between my fingers. "Thank you so much, I love it."_

"_You're welcome, I was happy to get it for you." he said softly, rubbing my knee. "But we're leaving now and we have to talk about it."_

_I felt the tears rolling down my cheek as our separation became more and more imminent. "I don't know what to say," I admitted. "I want to be with you, but it's not fair to either of us to pretend that we could have a 'normal' relationship. I don't even know if that's what you'd even want."_

_He sighed and looked at his hands, then up at me, "I would love it if we could be together. Please don't doubt me, Bella. Like I said before, I'm a better person because of you. But I know you're right about our limitations. I guess all we can do is to do the best we can to see each other as often as possible. I need you in my life, however I can get you. If that means on the phone, through the mail, or in person, which is the preferred method," he winked at me, "I'll take what ever I can get."_

_I wanted that too. I wanted him all to myself, but I knew it was unrealistic. "What about seeing other people?" Just hearing the words come out of my mouth made me cringe, but it had to be addressed. _

"_Bella…I…" he said, shaking his head. _

"_No Edward, we have to talk about it. I think we should leave that open and as long as we're honest with each other, we'll just see what happens. I don't want you to not date anyone. That doesn't seem reasonable."_

"_It hurts me to think about you with someone else. If I think about it, I'll drive myself insane with jealousy." He briefly closed his eyes and I could see his jaw clench tightly. When he opened his eyes again, his face was more relaxed but I could see my own pain mirrored in his beautiful green eyes. "I'll agree to your suggestion on two conditions: One is that you can NEVER tell me about another man putting his hands on you, because I'll probably drop everything and fly to wherever you are and beat the living shit out him; And two, if we're ever in the same city, we'll call each other."_

_I nodded as I looked into my lap, still unable to stop the tears from falling. "I promise I'll call. We'll just do the best we can." I didn't even know what that meant and I couldn't even begin to think about being with someone else or worse….Edward being with someone else. _

_It was time to board my train and we stood up, grabbing our stuff and shuffled toward the platform. Anything to keep from completely breaking down. I tried desperately to be strong. I didn't want to make Edward feel worse about our separation or to worry about me, and I didn't want his last memories of me to be when I was being weak and crying. As we got to the door of the train, I dropped my things and threw my arms around him, feeling the sob that was about to escape, I held to him for dear life. I couldn't get close enough. I buried my face into his chest so he couldn't see the tears pouring out of my eyes and so I could breathe in his scent. "God Edward, I can't do this. Saying good-bye is so much harder than I thought it would be."_

_He moaned as he buried his face in my shoulder, squeezing me equally tight, "It'll be okay, Bella." His voice cracked and I could tell that he was as near to tears as I would see._

"_Thank you so much, Edward. The last couple of weeks have been…indescribable."_

_He hummed as he leaned back to look at me, his hands clutching my face, "They've been amazing." He leaned in and kissed me slowly but with a passion and intensity that made my body burn. "I'll miss you so much, Bella."_

_My body began to shudder, the little composure I had was slipping quickly. I had to get away from him before I completely broke down. My next words came out in little more than a whisper, but it was all I could manage, "I'll miss you than you know." Why didn't I just tell him how I felt?_

_The conductor called out and I knew that it was time to leave. I reached down and grabbed my things and Edward helped me with my backpack, all words gone. There was nothing left to say. It was over._

"_Goodbye Edward," I said, my voice squeaking. _

"_Goodbye Bella. I'll call you, I promise."_

_I nodded slowly. I was an absolute mess. As hard as I tried to not cry, I still had tears streaming down my face, my nose was running and my eyes were puffy, but all I could think about was leaving Edward. A part of me was dying. The pain in my chest intensified with each step away from him. _

_I turned and boarded the train, still looking over my shoulder at Edward, whose face looked equally distraught. As soon as he was out of sight, my body wrenched in pain and the uncontrollable sobs began. I could no longer hold it in. I could no longer stop the tears, and I could no longer seek comfort in Edward's arms. Our time together was over. He was gone, and unknowing to him, he took my heart with him. I was sure my behavior and appearance attracted many curious looks, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I curled into myself in my seat, brought my knees to my chest, and smothered my anguished cries with my backpack._

_After a few hours of nonstop crying, I was exhausted. I sat slumped over in my seat and the emptiness set in. It was a welcomed reprieve from the pain. The emptiness brought with it a numbness that I needed to actually function. I sat staring out the window, not really seeing anything for the remainder of the train ride. My eyes focused on nothing, my thoughts empty….like my chest. The emptiness that smoothed away the pain that day never really left._

I sat up on my bed, resigned not to let the depression in. I had agreed to go out with him and there was no sense dwelling on something that happened five years before. Edward had said he had missed me and wanted another chance. We had an opportunity to make things work and I tried to focus on that.

As I did my routine errands throughout the day, I began to get more and more nervous about my date. I wanted this, no matter how much I tried to tell myself that I was okay without him. When he called earlier, my heart was pounding so hard I thought it would break through my chest. What if the chemistry wasn't there for him? What if he changed his mind and realized that I wasn't the same person I was in Europe? What if he didn't like who I was now?

My fear of getting hurt was still very real, but something made me trust him. I trusted him with my heart, despite our checkered past. I didn't want to miss out on something wonderful because of my fears.

About midday, the doorbell rang and a beautiful arrangement of flowers arrived at my door. They were gorgeous, white lilies, and the powerful aroma permeated my apartment. I clamored for the note once I set them on the table.

_Bella_

_The smell of lilies has always reminded me of you._

_Can't wait to see you tonight. _

_Edward_

I clutched the card to my chest and smiled. It was just what I needed to put all those disparaging thoughts out of my head. I could drive myself crazy agonizing over this date, but I didn't want to. I would just go and be myself. We could take things slowly. We loved each other once, or at least I loved him. Maybe we could find it again.

I spent an abnormally long time getting ready, trying on multiple outfits. I finally settled on a blue strapless dress and some strappy sandals. I put my hair up loosely in a chignon, with a few pieces hanging down. I wore some long, dangly silver earrings that I thought made my neck look long. After all was said and done, I looked pretty good.

Waiting for Edward to arrive was like waiting for paint to dry. It was agonizing. I had to pour myself a glass of wine to cope with my over-powering anxiety. If he didn't arrive soon, I was going to have no fingernails left at the rate I was chewing on them.

He finally rang the doorbell and as soon as I opened the door, I was blown away. My brain actually went blank and I couldn't put two words together if my life depended on it.

_Okay, there were two words……Holy! Fuck!_

He had on black jeans and a printed black and grey button-down shirt. He had his signature stubble going and his just-fucked hair, which I wanted to run my fingers through. As my eyes roamed over him taking in his beauty, I realized that my mouth was agape like a fish out of water. I quickly shut it, hoping that he hadn't realized that I was ogling him in my door way. Thankfully, he seemed not to have noticed.

He leaned in to kiss me sweetly on the cheek and I inhaled sharply to capture his delicious scent. It was so uniquely him and I couldn't believe how something so simple could completely transport me to another place and time.

"Bella, you look absolutely stunning," he hummed, his lips still hovering on my cheek.

I was putty in his hands. "Uh…thanks…so do you."

_My brain still doesn't seem to be functioning._

He opened the car door for me and I slid into the passenger seat. His car smelled like him too and a smile crept onto my face.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, realizing for the first time that I had no idea what our plans were for the evening.

"I thought we'd go to dinner. It'll give us a chance to talk," he said softly, obviously nervous as well.

I smiled at him and immediately looked away. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but his face looked like a combination of happiness, anxiety, lust and fear. I was glad that I wasn't the only one whose emotions ran the gamut.

_Get a grip, Bella. _

I fidgeted the rest of the way to the restaurant, trying to avoid any deep topics. I commented on the music, he commented on the weather. I complimented his car, he talked about the restaurant. The conversation was light and I was extremely thankful for that. Somehow I knew that I wasn't going to get off that easily later on.

Edward pulled up to the valet and once we were inside the beautiful French restaurant, I felt much better. The hostess seated us at a beautiful table overlooking a carefully manicured garden. Edward had obviously put a lot of thought into tonight, which was sweet.

We ordered drinks and had still managed to keep the conversation light. After our dinner orders were placed, I could see Edward's facial expression change.

_Here it comes._

"Thank you for agreeing to see me tonight," Edward said, his hands extended across the table. It was such a simple gesture that he had made countless times in Paris. My heart beat faster with the memories it stirred in my mind.

I reached out and grabbed his hands and he smiled that adorable crooked smile that I hadn't seen nearly enough of. I couldn't help but return a smile. His thumbs rubbed gentle circles on the backs of my hands and I relished the feel of his touch. The warmth from that simple gesture washed over me.

"Thank you for calling me. For planning all of this" I replied.

"Bella, I know I've made mistakes," he started, swallowing nervously, "and that things have been turbulent between us, but it doesn't have to be that way."

"I hope not," I joked as I chuckled, trying to lighten the mood with nervous humor, "otherwise, I've made a big mistake coming here tonight. A person can only take so much, you know."

"You don't feel like it was a mistake, do you?" Edward's brow furrowed and he looked so concerned. My weak attempt at humor hadn't lightened his intensity and I felt like I needed to try and put him at ease somehow.

"No Edward, I don't. As much of a roller coaster as we've been on, I'm happy to be here with you."

"Me too." He relaxed a bit but still looked pensive and nervous, as if he was about to give a speech before thousands of people. "Bella, I never stopped caring about you. What we had in Europe was the most real thing I've ever had. I wish we could go back and do things differently."

"Let's not do this, Edward," I interrupted. "We've both made mistakes and we've both paid for them and then some. Let's not rehash everything. We're here now and that's all that matters to me. If we're going to do this, then maybe we should just try to start over?"

He squeezed my hands tightly as he smiled, "You're right, we've spent too long being hurt. Too much time apart."

The rest of the dinner went exceptionally well. We savored our wine and a fabulous meal.

He talked to me about medical school and how he had met Jasper. He told me that when he and Jasper graduated, he knew he wanted to move to Seattle. He convinced not only Emmett and Jasper to move with him, but Tanya moved from Chicago as well.

'Wow, you convinced the whole gang," I exclaimed. "You have quite the power of persuasion."

"I've been known to get what I want when I put my mind to it." Edward smirked at me as he took a sip of his wine.

I couldn't help but watch his mouth. That smirk made my lady parts tingle in excitement. Then the way his tongue came out and quickly but sensually licked his bottom lip, before he brought the wine glass to his mouth to sip, was hypnotizing.

"I'll bet you do, Edward." I smiled at him innocently looking up at him through my eyelashes then sipping my own wine to give me some courage. When I spoke next, my voice sounded so low and raspy, "I'm curious. What is it you want now?"

Edward just looked at me and I swear I saw raw desire flash through his eyes. Without taking his eyes off of mine, he leaned back in his seat and adjusting his napkin on his lap. When he smiled at me, I thought my panties would combust causing me to squirm in my chair. For what seemed like minutes, but was probably mere seconds, we just sat there and stared into one another's eyes. Edward finally said, "I already got what I wanted tonight, you're here having dinner with me. I couldn't ask for anything more."

Throughout dinner, Edward was sweet, affectionate, and often very flirty. He listened attentively to my seemingly endless stories about the gallery and the artists I worked with. He often asked thoughtful questions illustrating that he was listening and interested in what I was saying. He had always made me feel like I was the most interesting person in the world and I had forgotten how easy it was to be around him. It was as if we hadn't ever been apart. The conversation was light and lively and I enjoyed listening to his stories as much as he seemed interested in mine.

Listening to him though did make me realize just how many things in his life I had missed and I was sorry for that. I should have been at his graduation and supported him as he started his residency. I was doing it again-the destructive thinking. As bad as I felt about missing those events in his life, he was here with me tonight and I knew I needed to focus on this moment and enjoying our time together. Like I had in Europe.

The ride home was fairly quiet. He reached over at one point and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in mine. I was instantly reminded of the things those fingers were capable of and I wondered if and when I'd get to experience them again. My body heat rose from the sheer electricity of his touch and I didn't want to let go. Ever. I gently squeezed his hand letting him know that I appreciated the gesture.

He pulled up to my house and the moment of awkward silence came upon us.

_Why does every date have to have this moment?_

"Would you like to come up?" I asked softly, not wanting the night to end, but scared of what might happen if he took me up on my offer.

He turned off the car and reached for the door handle. "I'd love to."

_Holy shit._

He followed me into my apartment and my mind immediately tried to do a mental scan of the condition I left it in. Or Alice- she wasn't exactly neat. So far, the entry didn't look too bad. Edward was looking around, as if sizing me up by the way I lived. I'd have done the same thing to him, so I didn't mind.

A weird thought occurred to me. I'd never actually seen where or how Edward lived, not even unknowingly when I dated Jasper. Our entire relationship had been in hotels. I was suddenly very curious and hoped I'd get a chance to see his place too.

"Can I get you something to drink?" I asked politely as Edward scanned the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Sure, how about coffee?" He was checking out the art in the living room by this point.

I scooted into the kitchen, trying to hide my anxiety from Edward, who seemed engrossed and not at all nervous.

"How do you take it?" I yelled into the living room.

"Black, thanks," was the reply.

I leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to brew, feeling like I was going to hyperventilate. Being with Edward again felt invigorating, but I didn't want to get ahead of myself. I really wanted things to work out this time, which made me feel like I was walking on eggshells.

_Just relax, Bella. _

I poured us a couple of cups of coffee and walked into the living room to join Edward. He was standing in front of one of my favorite pieces of art, close enough to really see the brushstrokes.

"I like the way this artist uses colors, don't you?" he asked as he took the steaming coffee from my hand.

"Well, I should hope so, it's mine." I had never shown anyone my work. Even the people who came to my house didn't know that it was mine. It was something that I had for myself. Yet, I felt comfortable sharing that side of me with Edward.

A smile crept over Edward's face and he looked at me as though he had just gained insight into my soul. "I always wondered what your art would look like. I knew you had to be talented, but it's different when you finally see it in person."

He moved in closer to me and was standing so close that I could see every detail of his face. The electricity between us was back and I could have sworn that he was going to kiss me, but he made no move. I'd spent a lot of time that close to him, but it all felt new. His face looked different, yet the same. He looked older and even more handsome than I remembered, especially from so close.

I pulled back, trying to recover from the awkward moment. I made some lame comment about the painting as I walked over to sit on the couch. Following my lead, Edward sat down as well, only on the chair instead of the couch.

We talked for a long time, completely oblivious to the time. I sat with my knees curled up underneath me and Edward sat comfortably crossing his legs in the chair. I could feel myself getting tired, but I didn't want the night to end. I was enjoying spending time with Edward. The entire evening had been so wonderful….the dinner, the conversation, staring at him all evening, watching his mouth as he spoke, admiring his smile when he found something amusing, and hearing him laugh when he told me funny stories about Emmett. He was still the man I fell in love with years ago and he still turned my body to fire without even knowing what he was doing, without even touching me. The thought alone of him touching me made my heart race.

Needing a distraction, I asked if he would like some more coffee while picking up our cups.

"Do you want more coffee?" I asked, picking up our cups.

He politely declined, perhaps realizing the lateness of the hour. Thankfully, he seemed unaware of the physical effect he was having on me. I walked into the kitchen to set our mugs in the sink and taking the much needed deep breath to calm myself down. I needed to stop thinking about Paris. More importantly, I needed to stop thinking about the way he made my body sing with the delicious touches of his hands or his mouth.

_That is not helping, Bella!_

Without turning around, I felt Edward's presence. I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn't even heard him walk into the room. Before I could respond, his hands were on the counter on either side of my body. His body moved closer to mine and I could practically feel the heat come off of him. If I wasn't already turned on before, I sure as hell was now. He moved as if through water, slowly and deliberately, inching closer until his chest pressed against my back. He tilted his head, resting it in my neck as he inhaled sharply. I felt my body react and leaned back into him so our bodies were flush against each other.

He moved as if through water, slowly and deliberately, inching closer until his chest pressed against my back. He tilted his head, resting it in my neck as he inhaled sharply.

"Turn around, Bella," he whispered in my ear, sending chills up my spine.

_Jesus Christ._

My heart was about to jump right out of my chest. I felt like a teenager about to get her first kiss and equally nervous.

_If he kissed me now, would I be able to control myself?_

I slowly turned around, Edward's arms still entrapping me against the counter. . My eyes moved up his chest, stopping briefly over his parted lips and continued until I met his gaze.

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!_

He reached up and put a stray piece of hair behind my ear as I trembled with anticipation.

"That's better, I wanted to look at your beautiful face," he said, brushing his knuckles across my cheek.

I think I smiled lamely and tried to hide my complete panic, but I knew he could see right through me. The corners of his mouth curled up into a devious smile as he moved his hand to cup my chin.

"There's something I'd like to try," he hummed, his face just inches from mine. My eyes moved to his mouth and I watched as he unconsciously licked his lower lip and I realized that I wanted to do that for him.

As if in slow motion, he moved closer and barely touched his perfect lips to mine, causing my body temperature to rise sharply. His touch was tentative, as if he felt like I might break.

Edward had the most amazing lips. They were so soft, yet firm, with the perfect amount of pout to them. The bottom one was slightly bigger than the top and it practically screamed at me to be sucked on.

"So nice," he whispered so low that I almost couldn't hear him. Before I had time to react, his lips were pressed against mine again, this time with more passion. His tongue slowly grazed my lower lip as if asking permission for entrance. I willingly opened to him. Our tongues met and began to explore each other, neither fighting for dominance, both relishing in the feel of the other. I had forgotten what an incredible kisser Edward was. My memories, although fabulous, did not do him justice.

I inhaled deeply to catch as much of his scent as was possible, as his arms moved around my waist to pull me closer. The coldness of the countertop against my hips was in direct contrast to the heat radiating off of Edward. I wanted more. I was so lost in his touch. His body pressed firmly against me and I could tell that he was as aroused as I was by the intensity in his kisses and of course his rock hard erection that was pressed up against my stomach. Knowing that our kiss was affecting him too fueled my desire even more. Unlike someone you date for the first time, we both knew where this could lead and how amazing it could be.

He felt so good that I wasn't sure how much longer I could control myself. I knew we should be taking things slowly, but his kiss was driving me insane. I was just about to deepen the kiss when he pulled away from me slightly, as if attempting to curb his desires and gain control. Both of us took a moment to catch our breath.

"Bella, I've wanted to do that all night. I'm sorry, I should have waited, but I just couldn't help myself," he said as he rested his forehead against mine, his arms still firmly wrapped around my back.

"Edward, you don't have to apologize. I wasn't exactly pushing you away," I said, moving my hands between us, rubbing his chest.

"I forgot how it feels to be with you. It's so much better than I remember," he admitted sheepishly and placing a soft kiss on my temple.

"I know what you mean. It's familiar, but not really." It was like watching analog TV and then watching High Definition, or watching the original Wizard of Oz and then seeing it re-mastered in Technicolor. The first being good, but then WOW…never knew it could be so perfect.

He reached up and cupped my cheek, "I had an amazing time with you tonight. I should go."

_You're leaving?_

I must have huffed out loud at that because he responded with concern. "Bella, I want this," he said while waving his hand between us but staring into my eyes. "I want us. I want you to really be mine. And, to do that, I think we need to take things slowly and build the relationship. I need to show you that I can be a man deserving of you. And, if I stay I don't think I'll be doing any of that."

He gently touched my cheek with the pad of his thumb, "Bella, you are somehow even more beautiful now and impossibly more irresistible, which is why I have to go. I promised I'd be a gentleman." He smirked repeating a promise he had made to me years ago in Europe. "Thank you for having dinner with me."

_I can't believe this is real and that I'm standing here with Edward. _

"Edward Cullen, you are too good to be true. Do you always have to be such a gentleman?" I asked somewhat teasingly as I buried my face in his chest, hiding the blush his compliments caused and my disappointment that the night was ending.

"Hey," he said, lifting my face to meet his gaze, "this is just the beginning. I promise I'll call you tomorrow."

"I'd like that," I said as I rested my head back against his chest. His heart was beating rapidly and the feeling of being held by him was overwhelming. He hugged me tightly, kissing the top of my head.

"I should go," he sighed, resigned. He took a step back and I immediately missed his touch. Nodding, I moved away and escorted him through my apartment. I tried to smile at him, so he didn't know that I was pouting like a 5 year old on the inside.

He spun me around to face him and pushed me up against the wall as we approached the door. He held me tightly in place with his body, just looking at me with a devilish, sexy look on his face. Then he leaned in and kissed me passionately, the want evident in his movements. I felt the kiss from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair. It spread through my body like a wildfire through dry brush, burning fast and hot. And then he stopped.

"Tomorrow." Then he grabbed his keys off the foyer table and left my apartment, leaving me wanting more. I closed the door behind him and fell against it, my head falling back as I exhaled.

_How does that man do that to me with a simple kiss?_

Oh, how I wished that Alice and Rosalie were home so I could just tell somebody what I was feeling.

_What are you feeling?_

I felt like I was a bomb about to explode. All the feelings I had felt for him before came rushing back. The date was perfect. Edward was intriguing and sweet and genuine. He was everything I remembered him to be and more. And the kisses! His kisses felt like nothing else I've ever experienced. They were better than Christmas morning as a kid. Kissing Edward was the perfect balance of passion, pleasure, excitement, and love and I couldn't wait to be in his arms again.

I walked slowly into my room, committing each detail of the night to memory. I didn't want to forget a single moment. I got ready for bed and slipped under the covers, knowing all too well that sleep would evade me. There was no way I could sleep after tonight.

My phone chirped just as I got into bed. I smiled and reached over to glance at the text message on the screen, having a good idea who it was from.

_I can still smell you on my clothes. I think I'll sleep dressed tonight. ~E_

I giggled as I furiously typed back.

_I can still taste you on my lips. I don't think I'll sleep at all. ~B_

_After a comment like that, neither will I. Thank you again for tonight. ~E_

_You're welcome. Sweet dreams. ~B_

Tomorrow, indeed.

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**A/N: So, what did you think of the date? How about the goodbye? Shoot me a review and let me know!**


	21. Chapter 20 Discoveries

**A/N: I want to thank all of you for your continued support. For some reason, I've had a major case of writer's block and it's frustrating as hell. It's times like that when I sit down to write and nothing comes to mind, that I appreciate my readers so much. Your reviews go a long way toward keeping me from jumping off the ledge and just saying "F*ck it". So, please drop me a line and let me know what you think! **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Because of the aforementioned writer's block, my betas have had to talk me down off the ledge multiple times. So, scsquared and Twihart, THANK YOU! Also, many thanks to Sunfeathers for pre-reading! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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****Chapter 20:**

**June 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

The past few weeks were perfect. Ever since that night in Bella's apartment when I kissed her, things had gone exceedingly well. She and I had been out several times, but we were taking things slowly. It was ironic that we were doing that, given how quickly our initial relationship had formed. Never in my life had I felt closer to someone in such a short time.

This time, though, we weren't rushed. We weren't racing against the clock and we could take our time and rebuild the foundation of our relationship. I was enjoying our time together and liked being a gentleman with her. As much as I had enjoyed our carefree time in Paris, we were in a bubble. Now we were building a relationship in real life, with schedules, work, and limited amount of free time. It wasn't as easy, but it definitely made our time together special and I looked forward to every minute I got to spend with her.

The physical side of our relationship, however, tormented me. Aside from some very passionate and amazing kisses, things were progressing slowly and it felt like each time I kissed her I wanted more. Yet she seemed unfazed by it. I knew how amazing our love-making could be. I remembered it in painstaking detail and longed for it. Each time I made a move to take things to the next level, I was met with hesitance on her part. I was sure that it wasn't that she didn't want to be intimate with me, but that she was scared of getting hurt again.

My mind understood all those things, but my body didn't. My hands almost acted independently from my mind, which was telling me not to push things. I needed to feel her and be close to her. I had never masturbated so many times in my life, and I was ready to end my celibacy. More than ready, actually.

Bella was coming to my place for dinner. Not only had she never been to our apartment, but I had never cooked for her before. It was funny because as much as we knew about each other, we hadn't done so many of the simple things that dating couples do. I had pre-arranged things with Jasper and Emmett so Bella and I would have the place all to ourselves.

As I showered, I found that the excitement of seeing Bella overpowering. Sure we had been out together, but I wanted more. Tonight would be the night I would tell her how I felt and hopefully take things to the next level. I didn't want to go on casual dates with her any longer. I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I wanted to know that she wouldn't see anyone else. I wanted to see her more. I wanted her to be mine, again.

I toweled off after a hot shower that left my skin red and steaming. I went mindlessly through my bathroom routine; shaving, putting on deodorant, combing my hair, which was futile at best. All my thoughts were on tonight and how we could move things forward in our relationship. I suddenly became very nervous. What if she didn't want to be my girlfriend? What if she was happy the way things were? What if she wasn't as certain as I was about our future?

I couldn't focus on that, it would drive me crazy, so I slipped into my jeans and put on my black Tommy Bahama shirt. Since we were just staying in, I didn't bother with shoes.

I had been to several different stores to get the ingredients I would need for my Mushroom Risotto, which was a dish of which I was extremely proud. I wanted everything to be perfect. I was going to serve the risotto with a nice salad and grilled salmon from the local fish market around the corner.

I lit candles around the room and dimmed the lights. The sound of Diana Krall and Steve Tyrell played softly from my IPod. Overall, the setting was perfect and all I needed was Bella.

I answered the door when the doorbell rang to find Bella there, looking stunning, if not a little nervous. She also had on jeans and a black shirt, only hers fit her body like a glove. It was silky and tied around her neck, leaving her shoulders exposed. The deep cut of the blouse revealed her cleavage, which was modest but instantly made my pants tighten.

_Jesus Christ._

"Well, hello there," I hummed, recovering from my typical male reaction, as I leaned in and gave her a kiss. "You look great."

She smiled brightly and it made my heart warm. "Thanks, so do you."

I ushered her in and she set her purse on the table near the door. Her eyes were darting around the room; scoping the place out as if trying to discover more about me by the way I lived. I had done the same thing to her when I was at her place, so it didn't surprise me.

I got her a glass of red wine and she leaned against the counter, watching me.

"So, when do I get the tour?" she asked, playfully, her hands motioning around the room.

"Tour, huh?" I stumbled on my words as I grabbed her hand. "Come with me."

I showed her the living room, which we had passed on the way to the kitchen. Our apartment was clean and modern; all the furnishings had crisp lines and sleek curves. It had floor to ceiling windows that revealed an incredible view of the city lights. I didn't go out much, so my home was my sanctuary and everything in it reflected that. She followed me, mumbling 'hmms' and 'ohs' as we walked. I didn't feel right showing her either of my roommates' rooms, so I just breezed by their closed doors while making note of whose room it was.

When we reached my bedroom, I felt suddenly very vulnerable. I had dreamt about Bella so many times, picturing her here in my bed with me. The dreams seemed closer to reality.

My bedroom was very large and the floor to ceiling windows continued as they were in the living room. The bed was king-sized and had a puffy down comforter in a rich caramel color adorning it. The bed frame and all the furniture were deep mahogany with straight edges and minimal hardware. On either side of the bed were two matching nightstands, each with a sleek crystal lamp on it.

"Wow, this is your room?" she said, looking at me as she smiled. "It's beautiful."

_It's even more beautiful with you here, Bella. _

"Thanks, I'm glad you like it."

Just then, she glanced at the wall that led to the adjoining bathroom at a small picture in a black frame that hung there.

"Is that…our picture?" she asked, looking shocked. "From Paris?"

I nodded and hung my head. "Yeah, I kept it."

She walked briskly across the room and reached toward the picture, touching the glass lightly. "So, you never forgot."

Her voice trailed as she shook her head and I would have given anything to know what was going on behind those chocolate eyes. I closed the distance between us and snaked my arms around her waist, clutching her tightly as she continued to gaze at the picture.

"No, I never forgot."

She turned in my arms and reached her hands up to cup my face, then slowly leaned in for a kiss.

"I'm so glad you still have it. I wondered what happened to it. That guy really captured us, didn't he?" she hummed, brushing my cheek with her nose.

I closed my eyes, breathed in her unique Bella scent, and briefly remembered that special day the picture was drawn. With my lips against her temple, I quietly agreed, "Yeah, he did."

With that, we let go of one another and continued around the house. She admired our eclectic collection of books and my baby grand piano, her fingers running gently along the black lacquer. I watched her inspect my things, internally approving or disapproving.

"Edward, you guys have a wonderful place," she said sweetly as we finished the tour. "Did you decorate it yourselves?"

"Well mostly. My mom has great taste and she helped us some when we first moved in," I replied, taking a sip of my wine. "I'm glad you like it."

It was important to me that she liked our place as I ultimately saw her here, with me, permanently. I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I had definite plans for us. I had moved to Seattle to find her and be with her and I knew what I wanted.

Bella sat on the other side of the counter in a barstool while I prepared dinner. She offered to help, but I would have none of that. I wanted tonight to be special for her. Instead, she kept me company as I worked, looking like a goddess on the other side of my counter. Several times, I almost lost my focus and walked over to kiss her passionately. I could almost picture taking her right there on the counter.

_Calm yourself, Edward. _

I set our plates on the table as well as a newly opened bottle of wine, pulled out her chair and motioned for Bella to sit.

"Thank you for coming tonight, Bella," I said, raising my glass to toast.

Our glasses clinked as we both took a sip of wine, our eyes never leaving one another. Dinner was delicious and the night was going exceptionally well. We laughed and talked about our respective jobs, friends and our families. Bella was captivating and although I was enjoying our conversation immensely, I had other things on my mind. I knew I needed to talk to her.

_Don't be a pussy._

We were both completely full from dinner so I suggested we go out onto the balcony and enjoy the evening. There was a chill in the air and I noticed Bella shiver so I pulled her into my arms. The feeling of being in such close proximity to Bella made my earlier, naughtier thoughts come back to my mind and I struggled to be the gentleman I wanted to be.

"Bella, I have to talk to you about something that's been on my mind a lot recently."

She looked worried and pulled back slightly. "What is it? Is everything okay?"

"Uh…yeah…things are more than okay," I said, fumbling to find the right words. "It's just I want to talk about us. About where we stand."

She grabbed her glass of wine off the adjacent bistro table and motioned to the chairs. We both sat down, Bella playing with the stem of her wineglass. "Where do you think we stand?"

"Bella, ever since you agreed to go out with me, I've been on cloud nine. I feel like a little kid, you know?"

She chuckled slightly, "Yeah, I do know. I feel the same way."

"It's just that…I want more."

My palms were in a full blown sweat and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I hoped against hope that Bella felt the same way about me as I did about her.

"What are you saying, Edward?" She looked up at me, her eyes inquisitive.

_She's going to make me say it, isn't she?_

"I'm saying that I want to see you more. And I'm saying that I don't want you to see anybody else."

She smiled deviously, understanding my torture, "So, you want me to be your girlfriend? Is that what you're saying?"

_Finally, she gets it._

"More than anything."

_Is she ever going to answer me?_

She reached across the table and grabbed my hands, rubbing circles on the back with her thumbs. "I'd like that. Very much."

_Oh, thank God. _

Now it was my turn to smile.

We spent a few more minutes out on the deck and decided to go inside to watch a movie. I sat on the couch, with Bella between my legs, covered in a throw blanket and felt completely content. It was the littlest things that made me so happy with her.

After about an hour, I felt Bella's breathing change. It was deep and slow against my chest. I glanced down and noticed that she was asleep. I remembered how I used to watch her sleeping when we were together in Paris. She looked so peaceful and innocent. I wriggled out from behind her, causing her to groan a little and reposition herself, but she remained asleep. I scooped her up in my arms and walked slowly to the bedroom, with her cradled against my chest.

I laid her down on the bed and as I leaned over her to gently lower her head, I saw it; a little horseshoe pendant around her neck that sparkled with diamonds. I hadn't even noticed it earlier.

_So she never forgot either._

She startled awake and quickly realized where she was. Her hands reached up and fisted in my hair as she pulled me down for a kiss. It started off slow and seductive but quickly progressed and became passionate and needy. All of the pent up emotions I'd been carrying around with me finally came to the surface. I let the full weight of my body rest on her as one of my hands reached around her neck to pull her to me.

She shifted underneath me and spread her legs, allowing me to rest between them. I couldn't control myself and pressed my rock hard erection against her as she moaned.

"Fuck…Bella," I stuttered, my breathing becoming heavy with need. "You don't know what you do to me."

Her hands moved down my back, causing every hair on my body to stand on end. Eventually they ended up at the hem of my shirt and she slowly lifted it up. I sat up, resting on my knees and removed it the rest of the way, only breaking our gaze to pull it over my head.

She rolled over and sat up on her knees, her back facing me and moved her hair aside. My hands reached out and slowly slid the zipper of her blouse down her back, my fingers grazing her creamy skin. My hands were cold and she shivered slightly at my touch. I moved in closer to her and kissed her shoulder lightly as my hands reached lower for the hem of her shirt.

I inched it higher as she raised her arms above her head to help me along. She was wearing a strapless bra which I quickly removed, leaving her exposed to me. Her breathing was deep and erratic and I recognized her arousal.

_She wants this as much as I do._

With both of our shirts removed, I slid even closer, my knees in between her legs and pulled her to straddle me, her back resting against my chest. My hands snaked around her body, ending on her firm breasts as I gently kissed her neck.

"I like your necklace," I hummed into her neck. "So, you never forgot either?"

She turned and looked into my eyes, the emotion clearly present in them. "How could I forget?"

"I'm so happy to hear that," I sighed in between kisses, my hands still roaming her breasts and torso. She moved her hips in a slow but steady rhythm, grinding against me, showing me what she wanted. "Bella, I've wanted you like this for so long."

"Please, Edward," she breathed as she threw her head back onto my shoulder.

I turned her around and laid her down on the bed beneath me as my hands lowered to the button of her jeans. I stepped off the bed, standing at the base as I slid her jeans off, leaving behind a pair of black lace panties that made my dick impossibly hard.

_Fucking Christ._

She wriggled as I pulled her jeans off, never breaking eye contact. I could see the lust in her eyes and could smell her arousal. I felt completely out of control. She sat up and grabbed my jeans and her small hands went to work while I watched, lowering the zipper and pushing the jeans over my hips. Her fingers dipped below my boxers and she lowered them with my jeans, leaving me completely naked. There was no hiding my excitement as my erection stood at full attention. I stepped out of my pants, but her hands never left my body, rubbing along the outside of my legs, inching higher.

In one quick motion, I watched her grab my cock and lean in, taking me into her mouth. I almost came right there, the feeling was so intense. Her mouth was so hot and slick and her tongue moved up and over the tip, causing me to gasp.

"Fuuuuccccckkkkk…" I mumbled, my head shaking from side to side as she worked on me.

Regaining some composure, I reached down and pulled the hair from her face so I could see what she was doing. Her hand tightened along the base of my cock, sliding up and down as she moved me in and out of her mouth. It was the fucking hottest thing I'd ever seen. I didn't know how long I would last with the onslaught of sensations I was feeling, but I knew it wouldn't be long.

"Bella…I can't…fuck…"

She glanced up at me, my cock still in her mouth and continued to suck and lick on me. I let my hands grab her hair, gently guiding her movements and she hummed in response, sending vibrations throughout my entire body. I felt all the muscles in my body tighten as I exploded into her mouth, grunting obscenities as my body convulsed in ecstasy.

"Jesus Christ, Bella, are you trying to kill me?" I panted.

She slowly sat up on her knees, her hands moving up my sides until they rested on my cheeks, eventually leaning in for a slow and deep kiss. "I wanted to do that for you."

I pulled her into me and deepened the kiss, tasting myself in her mouth. I wanted to give her the same pleasure she had given me. I grabbed her ass and lowered us both onto the bed. I positioned myself slightly off to the side, so I could fully explore her body. My elbow was on the bed, supporting my head, while my free hand moved slowly up and down her body, gently pinching and cupping her breasts, caressing her soft skin.

She gazed at me lovingly, completely trusting. I watched as my hand moved lower on her body, dipping below the waist of her panties, finding her slick folds as I moaned in appreciation.

"You're so wet," I observed, not taking my eyes off my hand. "I need to taste you."

She panted and moaned and my dick began to get hard again, despite my recent release. I leaned in and kissed her breast as she arched her back beneath me. Moving lower with each kiss, I let my tongue lick her soft skin as she trembled beneath me.

"I like these panties, but they have to go," I said, kissing her hips as I pulled them slowly down her legs. I quickly returned my attention back to the beautiful and now naked woman next to me.

I settled low on the bed, my head between her legs, looking up at her gorgeous body. My fingers inched forward into her wet heat and the recognition of being inside her overwhelmed me.

"So beautiful," I murmured softly.

I closed my eyes and brought my mouth to her wet skin. I inhaled deeply because I fucking love the way she smelled, especially when she's aroused. I loved it even more knowing that I did that to her. I flattened my tongue and took one slow, long lick from her opening to her clit.

"Fuck, Bella! You taste so fucking good!" I moaned.

I swirled my tongue around her opening, teasing her, and then dipped inside.

_Holy Mother of God, this woman will be the end of me._

I couldn't stop the growl-like noise that escaped from the back of my throat. I was almost oblivious to the noises Bella was making, or the way her hands were grasping at the sheets while her head shook from side to side. I finally removed my tongue from inside her and used it to stimulate her clit. I slowly slid one of my fingers into her, enjoying the warmth and wetness that was Bella. She continued to make the most fucking erotic noises, and moaning my name.

_MY NAME!_

I felt like a king knowing that I was bringing her this pleasure, the same pleasure that she had brought me just moments before. I inserted another finger and picked up the pace, moving in and out of her in rapid thrusts with a occasional twist to brush against her g-spot, while I sucked and licked her clit. Her body was hot and sweaty and her muscles tensed under my touch.

"Oh God…Edward…don't stop…so close…" she screamed as I felt her approaching orgasm.

_That's my girl._

She thrust her hips into my mouth and in one quick motion, she exploded with her release, her walls contracting violently on my fingers. It took all my energy to remain where I was and not sit up and watch Bella when she came. Instead, I focused on my ministrations to ensure her orgasm was as long and pleasurable as possible.

"That was…fuck…" She didn't say any more but the look on her face told me all that I needed to know.

_She liked it. A lot._

I moved up her body, my now rock hard cock seeking contact with her soft skin, until I rested directly above her. I lowered down and rested my body weight on her, feeling her breasts heaving against my chest, staring into her expressive eyes. There was always so much between us, spoken and unspoken. I knew that she was giving me more than just her body.

She spread her legs and wrapped them around me, my cock just inches from its desired location. I struggled to maintain control as I felt her wetness coat the tip of my aching cock.

"You feel so good, Edward. I need you. Please," she mumbled.

"Let me get a condom," I said, moving slightly off of her.

She pulled me back to her, "You don't have to do that, I'm on the pill."

I was torn between feeling insanely jealous of any fucker who had been with my Bella this way before and feeling fucking ecstatic over having no barriers between us.

"Are you sure?" I asked, rubbing her cheek lightly. "I have to get tested for work every six months, so I know I'm clean, but I want to make sure that you're really okay with this."

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm clear too." Her voice was low and sultry when she spoke. She nodded as she reached her arms around my back, pulling me to her. With her lips to my ear, she whispered the sexiest fucking words I had ever heard, "I want to feel you inside me, without any of the barriers. I need you, Edward."

She reached down and guided me slowly into her, the tightness and the heat engulfing me. I had never been with anyone without a condom, let alone Bella and the feeling of being connected with her in that way was almost too much. I wanted to be deeper, be closer. I wanted to consume her.

"Oh God, Bella," I stuttered incoherently as my hips moved, pushing me further over the edge. She moaned softly and I took it as encouragement and began to thrust slowly, but powerfully into her, her hips rocking to allow me to penetrate her deeply.

"So good…" she whispered as I moved inside of her.

We both clung to each other, needing the closeness, while craving our release. We kissed passionately at first, then our lips just hovered over one another's, lost in the feel of our joined bodies and moaning into one another's mouths. I felt her body tighten beneath me and I thrust even harder to bring her to orgasm.

"Come on, baby," I said in her ear as she moaned beneath me.

She screamed loudly and stilled as her orgasm ripped through her, the contractions of her walls gripping me as I forcefully spilled into her.

We both stayed still for what seemed like minutes, panting and caressing and whispering words of affection.

"Stay with me tonight," I said, not wanting to be away from her.

She nodded and I felt a wave of relief crash over me. I was finally going to have Bella in my bed, for the whole night, by my side. It had been a long time coming.

She emerged from the bathroom, having cleaned up, while I watched her glorious naked form come to me. She was not as modest as she once had been and it was incredibly sexy and alluring. She had always been confident but there was something different about her now. She was more sure of herself. She was stunning.

And she was mine.

I was a fucking happy man.

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**A/N: So, they finally did it? What did you think? **

**In shameless self-promotion: Come check out my entry in the An Officer and a Gentleman contest called A World Away. The link is in my profile, as is the story, and voting begins next week. I'd really appreciate the support! Thanks!**


	22. Chapter 21 Exposure

**A/N: Thanks for all the continued support! I appreciate it so much. I love reading all your reviews!**

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Thanks a ton to my betas, scsquared and TwiHart, who have both been crazy busy with real life and still managed to help me a ton this week. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

**Chapter 21:**

**June 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

The room was warm with the morning sun and I rolled over to cuddle with Edward, who was still sleeping peacefully next to me. He shifted slightly, his arm coming around my body pulling me into him. He ran his other hand through his hair, trying to wrestle himself awake.

"Mmmm, good morning, beautiful," he said softly as he kissed my forehead. "Did you sleep okay?"

I climbed on top of him letting my legs intertwine with his, "I slept great."

We were both still naked and I was acutely aware of every part of his body. He was already rock hard and he moaned when I pressed my hips against him. He moved his legs, rubbing up and down mine and his hands roamed my body, finally ending up in my hair at the back of my neck. His gaze was intense and his eyes darkened with desire.

"You feel incredible," he said, getting more and more distracted by the minute. I knew where we were headed and looked forward to it.

He flipped us over so that he was on top of me and used his hand to guide himself into me. His eyes never left mine and we moved slowly and deliberately. My hands gripped him tightly, not wanting any space between us. He groaned as he watched me come and then thrust firmly into me as his own release ripped through his body.

His warm, sweaty body rested on top of me as we both panted and recovered, his hands caressing me gently.

"God Bella, I love being this close to you," Edward said softly, as he rested his forehead against mine.

I wrapped myself around him and kissed him tenderly, feeling loved and comforted. "Do we have to get up?" I sighed.

"Come on, you lazy bum," he said jokingly as he sat up and extended his hand to me. "Let's shower."

I reluctantly got up and let him lead us to the bathroom where he turned on the water.

_A shower with Edward? Maybe getting up isn't so bad._

"Why don't you go first and I'll grab you a towel." Edward reached into the linen cabinet and pulled out a towel and a washcloth for me. He leaned in and whispered softly in my ear, "I'd join you, but we'll never get anything done if I do."

I was a little disappointed but I knew he was right. I let the hot water fall over my shoulders and felt a wave of emotions as thoughts of the last few months flooded my mind. Being with Edward again felt so right, like there was never any distance between us.

Since we started dating again, I could tell that Edward wanted to move forward with our physical relationship, but I was reticent. He was respectful, of course, but I knew that he was restraining himself.

I wanted him just as badly, but I was so scared of opening myself up again. When we were in Paris, things moved so fast and although it was wonderful, I wanted to take things slower this time. Last night though, I just knew it was the right time for us.

Our bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. The sex between us had always been passionate and extremely fulfilling, but last night had been so much more. It was 5 years' worth of longing and regret finally giving way to happiness.

I didn't want to shut myself off from the possibility of real happiness with Edward. This wasn't Paris. We weren't living on a finite timeline. He was here in Seattle, and we could have something real.

I finished showering and got dressed quickly.

"Edward, I want to take you somewhere today," I said, as I bit my lip with nervous anticipation.

"Where?" He raised an eyebrow and looked suspicious and intrigued.

"You'll see," I replied smugly, "I'm just going to run home and change clothes and then we can go."

We agreed that Edward would pick me up at noon for lunch downtown with Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett. Alice and Jasper had been practically inseparable since that night at the club. I'd never seen her so happy. She gushed on and on about him and I was happy for her. Rosalie had attempted to play hard to get after she and Emmett had virtually had sex at the club, but it was to no avail. She had fallen head over heels for him, which I could easily understand. Emmett was a great catch and she challenged him.

I kissed Edward goodbye and walked to my car, loving the immense change in our relationship in the past twenty-four hours. I knew that things would never be the same for us again and I was both thrilled and scared.

Edward picked me up as planned and as we parked at the restaurant, he glanced at me with a smirk. "So, are you going to tell me where we're going after lunch?"

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'. Looking mischievously up at him, "You're just going to have to wait."

"Fine, but you know I'll get you back for keeping me in the dark," he said playfully, as he grabbed my hand as we walked into the restaurant to meet our friends.

"Bella, I haven't seen you in a week, " Alice trilled as she gave me a huge hug.

"And why would that be?" I laughed, my glances moving between her and Jasper, who just shrugged and laughed.

"So Bella, how'd you enjoy the stay at Casa Cullen?" Emmett bellowed as he and Rosalie joined us.

I could feel my face blush as it seemed news traveled fast with the guys. Alice eyed me with a look that told me I'd be spilling my guts to her at a later time. Edward gave me a squeeze and a light kiss on my cheek as we were led to the table.

We all sat down and ordered, as we laughed and joked with each other. It was great to see my friends so happy.

I kept feeling Edward's eyes on me and I could see the longing there. I knew he was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. I loved it when he looked at me like that.

I leaned over to him and whispered in his ear, "For some reason, I feel naked. Are you undressing me with your eyes, Doctor Cullen?"

He flashed me his crooked smile, "I can't wait to get you alone. I have some plans for you later."

"Oh really? Suddenly, I'm not very hungry for food. Maybe we should leave."

"Oh, for Christ's sake, why don't you two just go home and fuck and get it over with," Rosalie blurted out, causing the table to erupt in laughter.

_Gotta love Rose._

The rest of lunch passed by in a flash as we all laughed and joked with each other. After what seemed like hours, we said goodbye to our friends and promised to get together again soon.

We sat down in the car and Edward put the keys into the ignition, turned it on and then turned to me. "So, where to?"

"The gallery."

I gave him directions as he drove to my work. He had never been there before and was quite impressed with the displays. It was a beautiful gallery and I was proud that I was such a big part of it.

I introduced Edward to James, my co-worker and we walked into the back.

"One of things I love about this job is that I get to use the studio in the back. The owner loves me and doesn't charge me for the space. I have all my supplies set up there and it's got plenty of room to work."

I had never shown anyone my work. It was something that I had just for myself. But, Edward was different. He lit up like a Christmas tree on our first date when he learned that the picture that hung in my apartment was my work. I wanted to share this with him.

I opened the door to the studio and turned on the lights as Edward walked past me and began looking around. I had about fifteen to twenty finished pieces stacked against one of the walls and several pieces that were in process on easels around the room.

"Bella, these are amazing," Edward said emphatically, "Why haven't you ever shown these?"

"I don't know. They're like a piece of me and I'm not sure I could take the rejection if people didn't like them?" I said, but it sounded more like a question.

He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me gently. "People would love them. You're really talented."

"Thank you, but I think you might be a little biased," I said with a laugh.

He definitely knew how to make me feel good, but I wasn't so sure that he was right. It wasn't that I doubted my talent, because I liked my work. But art means something different to everyone and what one person likes, another hates. Exposing myself to that kind of criticism made me nervous.

Still, the idea of actually showing my work was somewhat enticing too. I had worked in the industry for years and knew the right people. The owner had tried to coax me for months when she first saw my work, and then relented but offered to help me if I ever wanted to go down that path.

Edward and I spent about an hour in the studio. He studied each piece and complimented me heavily. I felt more connected to Edward than ever. It was such a huge part of my life and I hoped he would want to be a part of it too.

"Thank you for bringing me here, Bella. I loved seeing your work." He kissed me lightly, but I deepened the kiss. He pressed himself into me and backed me against the wall of the studio, his body firm against mine. His hands moved to my ass and he hitched one of my legs around him and lifted me off the ground.

"We should stop," I panted in between kisses. "Someone will hear us."

He groaned but put me down and I immediately felt the loss. "Didn't you say you had some plans for us when we got home?" I asked.

A broad smile came to his face, "I do. I can't wait to get you back in my bed."

We quickly made our way through the gallery and to his car. There was a familiar electricity between us and I couldn't get enough of him.

No sooner had the door to my apartment closed behind us than his hands were all over me. We kissed as he moved us down the hallway to my bedroom. I had no idea if anyone was home and at that time, I didn't care. I just knew that I had to have Edward. I needed him like I needed oxygen.

I sat down on the bed, kicking off my shoes, as he began to undress. He walked slowly toward me until he was standing in between my legs, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it off his shoulders.

My hands ran up his firm chest, pressing firmly into him. I stood up, eliminating the space between us and turned around, moving my hair aside so Edward could unzip my dress. Understanding what I was silently asking, his hands moved to my exposed shoulders and slid down to the zipper, lowering it as he kissed my shoulders and the back of my neck. He pushed the straps off my shoulders and his hands trailed down my body as the dress fell loosely at my feet.

I turned to face him again, only wearing my white thong underwear.

"You have too many clothes on, Edward," I hummed as my arms circled his waist.

He separated us and made quick work of his pants and boxers, revealing just how ready he was. His hands quickly returned to my body, rubbing up and down my back. We weren't kissing, we just watched as we each touched and explored our bodies. It was slow and sensual, but filled with an underlying current of passion that I knew, once released would be incredible.

He slowly pressed us down onto the bed and lowered his weight on top of me, his cock hard against my hip.

"Bella, I want to know everything about you; what you like, and what you don't. Everything," he said as he leaned in and kissed me, pressing his body firm against mine.

He slid off of me, not losing contact, as he ran his hands down the length of my torso, watching them moving over my body, enjoying teasing me. He removed my underwear, and a deep growl emanated from his chest as he did so. Then he gently brought his hands back up my body until his fingers grazed my nipples, which hardened in response.

"Do you like this?" Edward asked seductively.

I nodded and smiled, letting him take the lead. His hands worked themselves lower until his fingers slid over my clit. He sighed when he felt the slick wetness pooled between my legs. One of his fingers slipped inside me and I gasped at the feeling.

"How about this? Do you like this?" He began rubbing circles over my clit with his thumb as he moved his finger in and out of me slowly.

I reached out to grab him, but he shook his head and flashed a quirky smile at me, lowering slowly on my body, kissing my breasts and then moving to my torso.

"And this?" He was bringing me closer to the edge with each movement of his fingers and kiss of his lips.

"Yes, Edward, that feels amazing." It was all I could manage to get out. I moaned and pushed my hips into his hand as he had his way with me.

"Bella, I want you to tell me what you want me to do," he said, his voice low and commanding.

I had never had to voice my desires before and I felt a little self-conscious. "I…oh fuck…I want you to…fuck…make me…come with your mouth." I could barely spit out the words as his fingers worked me.

He groaned loudly upon hearing me voice my desire, and quickly obliged. I felt his tongue graze over my clit, taking the place of his thumb. I bucked my hips up into him, earning me a throaty moan from his chest. The feel of his mouth on me was almost too much. I tried to back away from him, but he held my hips firmly in place. I shook underneath him as his tongue connected with my most sensitive spots.

"Bella, you taste so fucking good," he sighed, continuing to suck and lick me, all the while his fingers moved in and out of me. With each movement, the nerve endings in my body grew in sensitivity and I was so close. Edward said he wanted to learn what made me feel good but he knew as if by instinct. With one more pass of his tongue and twist of his wrist I was spiraling.

"Oh God, Edward…I'm gonna come…fuck…" I mumbled as my orgasm moved through me.

"Watching you come has got to be the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen," Edward confessed.

Edward slid up my body and lay down next to me, his hands never leaving me. I reached up and grabbed his chin to turn his face toward mine.

"How about that? Did you like that?" he asked, clearly knowing the answer.

"Edward, that was so good," I said, smiling. There was no way to voice how I was feeling.

Still panting heavily, I decided that it was my turn to have some fun with him. "Now, what can I do for you? It's your turn to tell me what you like."

He smiled and propped himself up on his elbow. "Bella, I'll like whatever you do."

"Uh-uh Edward, if I had to be specific, then so do you." I said, poking him jokingly in the chest. Now it was me doing the devious grinning.

"All right, I can do that," he said as he nodded, seemingly liking my boldness. "I think it would be amazing to see your mouth around my cock. Is that specific enough?"

I pushed him onto his back, one arm behind his head as I slowly kissed down his chest. With each kiss, his body shuddered, his skin highly sensitive to my touch.

My hand led the way and I lowered it over the firm muscles of stomach and hips, finally slipping my fingers around his hard cock, causing him to jump slightly and hiss.

"Does that feel good, Edward?" I asked, as I began to squeeze him tighter and move up his length.

"You have no idea, Bella," he replied, his head propped up by his hands so he could watch.

"Show me how to touch you," I said, feeling more bold and brazen than I ever had.

He smiled as his hand slid down and intertwined with my fingers, squeezing tighter than I thought would be comfortable.

"I'm not fragile, it's okay to grip me tight," he offered.

I felt highly aroused having him show me what he liked. It was one thing to think about him pleasuring himself. It was quite another thing to witness it.

"Edward, can I ask you a personal question?" I asked meekly as we both continued to stroke him.

He laughed at my ill-timing, "Bella, you've got my undivided attention right now."

"Have you masturbated since we've been together?" My curiosity was killing me.

He chuckled lightly. "Well, I _am_ a guy; but to answer your question, yes, I have. A lot, actually."

"What do you think of when you do it?" I looked up his body to his face, which was heavy with lust. I wanted to hear about his fantasies. I wanted to be his fantasy.

The pace of our intertwined hands picked up as Edward began to speak, "I think about what it would be like to kiss you and taste you. I imagine your hands doing precisely what they're doing right now and how it would feel to have your mouth and tongue do the same. I picture myself fucking you hard and you riding me. Basically, I think of everything we could do together, and everything we did in Paris."

"Do I live up to your fantasies?"

He sighed loudly, "You are a thousand times better than even my best fantasy."

"I want to be your fantasy. I want to do all those things with you and give you real memories to work with."

"You already have and you already are."

With that, I lowered my mouth to his stomach and inched lower, smelling the masculine scent of his body that drove me crazy.

He let go of his cock and moved his hand to the back of my head, his fingers weaving into my hair. I let my tongue slip out of my mouth and graze the tip of his cock, which throbbed in my hand.

"Fuck, Bella…" he grunted, his body shaking underneath me.

Encouraged, I slipped the tip of his cock into my mouth, tasting the saltiness of his essence. I slowly moved down his length, my tongue flat against his shaft. My hand gently squeezed the base and moved up and down with my mouth.

Edward moved my hair out of the way so he could watch me, which I had to admit was sexy as hell. I'd never been that open with anyone before. I wanted him to watch me bring him pleasure.

His hips thrust into my mouth as I continued to suck and lick him. His breathing became erratic and I could tell that he was close. I wanted to give this to him.

He pulled away slightly and groaned, but I wouldn't let him go. "Bella, if you don't stop…fuck…I can't…fuck…"

"Shhh, it's okay. Let me do this." I held his hips still with my forearm as my other hand and mouth worked on him. His body was slick with sweat and he jerked frantically as he approached his orgasm.

"Fuck, Bella…" he screamed as he came forcefully into my mouth.

After he recovered slightly, I slid up his limp body to lay beside him, not wanting to break the contact between us. He pulled my face to his and kissed me passionately, the smell and taste of us still lingering in each others' mouths.

I had forgotten what Edward could do to me. In Paris, I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted him to know that I was in love with him, but I was too scared to go through with it.

I had never been as open with anyone as I was with him, not only physically but emotionally as well. I knew without a doubt that I was in love with him, no matter how quickly it had happened or how much had happened between us.

This was us. This was real. This was love.

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**A/N: So, some happy times! Finally! **

**Also, please check my profile for a link to the Officer and a Gentleman contest. Voting is open until Jan 23rd and I'd really appreciate your vote. My entry is called A World Away. Thanks! **


	23. Chapter 22 On Display

**A/N: Thanks everyone for continuing to support this story. I appreciate the reviews and alert adds so much. Thanks also to people for rec'ing this story. Getting the word out is the hardest part about writing fanfic, so word of mouth is the best compliment you can give me! **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Thanks very much to my betas- scsquared and TwiHart, who help more than I can explain. Also, thanks to Sunfeathers for pre-reading.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

* * *

**Chapter 22:**

**October 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

Today was the day I'd been both looking forward to and dreading for months. Edward had convinced me to show my art. My boss was throwing an event tonight featuring my work as well as the work of a few other local artists. I was a nervous wreck.

Sensing my fear and apprehension, Edward leaned in to kiss me. "Good morning, baby," he hummed as I rolled over to cuddle with him. "You ready for tonight?"

The truth was, I wasn't sure if I was ready or not. Part of me wished I could stay in bed and not face the day and all that it entailed.

It touched me to no end how supportive Edward was of my work. He repeatedly assured me that others would love it as much as he did. But no matter how many times he told me this, it had done nothing to squash my insecurities.

"What if they hate it, Edward?" My art had been just about me for so long and having it out in the open scared the shit out of me.

"They won't hate it," he said as he hugged me reassuringly. "You'll be great."

I let the warmth Edward's embrace envelope me. My anxiety was still there but I felt less nervous with his arms around me. His confidence in me was enough to help me through.

I sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed and he sat up behind me, his arms still wrapped around my waist. "Should we shower?" he asked.

I nodded and stood up, stretching my arms over my head as I padded to the bathroom. Edward's shower was huge and I loved showering there. It had two showerheads that supplied the perfect amount of water pressure, but best of all it ensured that I was never standing on the outside of the spray freezing my ass off.

We spent most nights at Edward's apartment. I only went home to my apartment to change clothes and grab my mail. I was surprised at how easily we fell into a routine. I liked everything about staying with him. His bed was incredibly comfortable, although I wasn't sure if it was the actual bed, or the fact that he was in it. I loved kissing him goodnight before we slept and waking up in his arms. He made me feel so safe and loved.

The rare nights that I spent away from him felt cold and lonely. I didn't sleep well when he wasn't next to me. It was like my body missed his presence even in sleep.

I let the water in the shower heat up and stepped in. Edward followed me and I threw my arms around him, letting the water fall over us, heating our bodies. My hands ran up and down the length of his back, finally settling on his ass, pulling his hips toward me.

"Bella, if you keep that up…" Edward started saying before I interrupted him.

"You'll what?" I asked playfully, as one of my hands made its way to his cock, which was already hard.

He sighed and threw his head back, "Mmmm, I won't be held responsible for, ahh feels so good."

I smiled as I kissed his chest and shoulders, continuing to rub my hands up and down his length. His hands moved to my breasts, cupping them as he gently pinched my nipples. My body reacted to his touch as I let go of his cock and hitched my leg around his waist.

His hand reached down to the back of my thigh, pulling my hips forward into him, causing me to moan at the close contact.

"Bella, you're driving me crazy," he said, as he kissed my neck. His free hand reached in between my legs and groaned when he felt the wetness pooled there. "Fuck…"

He turned me around to face the shower wall, bending me slightly at the hips. I rested my hands on the wall in front of me as Edward moved in behind me, easing my legs apart. His hand snaked around my waist, pulling me against him. His other hand guided his cock as he rubbed himself along my folds.

"Ohhh Edward…" I mumbled, "Mmmmm…need you…inside me."

With a powerful thrust, he entered me, as I pressed my hips back against him. He groaned loudly as he pulled out of me and thrust back in, gripping my hips tightly. The water flowed over us as he pumped in and out of me. He let his hand move lower to rub circles on my clit.

"Does that feel good?" he whispered in my ear.

"Oh God, yes." I could barely get the words out.

Edward increased the pressure on my clit and kissed my shoulders and the back of my neck. My body tightened and I screamed out as the waves of my orgasm moved through me.

I lifted my leg to rest on the ledge of the shower and reached around to grab Edward's ass.

"I want you to come," I said breathily.

He pounded into me, each thrust eliciting a guttural moan from Edward. He screamed out my name as he came inside of me, his body wracked with spasms. His hand reached around my body and pulled me against his chest. I turned to look at him over my shoulder and he kissed me passionately.

"Bella, you never cease to amaze me. I swear you were made especially for me," he said in between kisses.

I turned around to face him and wrapped my arms around him. "Mmmm, I feel the same way." He had no idea how much happiness he'd brought me, because I still hadn't told him. I tried to show him with every touch, kiss, and with my actions, but I still hadn't said the words.

We took turns washing each other gently. His touch was tender and caring and it was exactly what I needed to calm my nerves.

We exited the shower and quickly got dressed. Over the last few months, I'd gradually brought a few items to leave at his house since I spent so much time there. Edward never commented on my stuff taking over his space. In fact, I'd caught him when he found something of mine in one of his dresser drawers and the slightest smile came over his face, as if he were happy that it was there. I was smart enough to avoid leaving any feminine products in his bathroom though. No single man wants to find that in his bachelor pad bathroom.

"Okay, so you and the guys will pick us up at 5:00?" I asked, as I clasped my bra.

He walked over to me and kissed my forehead, "Yes, we'll be there."

I was meeting the girls and we were going to have a spa day, consisting of massages, manicures and pedicures before getting ready at our apartment.

I met up with Alice and Rosalie at the spa and we enjoyed our day of pampering, laughing and relaxing. It felt good to take my mind off of the stress and to catch up on some much needed girl time with my two best friends. Since I started dating Edward, I hardly saw my girls that much. They were both busy with their boyfriends and we all had to work, so it was difficult to plan anything.

The dress I chose for the art show was strapless with a fitted bodice and flowing chiffon bottom. It was light lavender with sequins woven on the bodice. I wore my hair up in a tight chignon at the nape of my neck and donned sparkling crystal earrings. I almost never dressed up, so it was quite an occasion for me. I didn't usually wear that much make-up, but for tonight I put a little extra on, taking my time to apply it perfectly.

I walked into the kitchen where Alice was standing in a stunning purple strapless dress that had a black belt and ruffled skirt and top. It was short and showed off her legs. She looked amazing, as always. Alice always had wonderful style.

"Bella, you look beautiful. You are going to knock Edward's socks off with that dress," Alice said sweetly as she popped the top of a bottle of champagne.

"Ah, thanks Alice. I can't believe how nervous I am. My stomach is in knots. I can definitely use some of that champagne."

"Let's get this party started," Rosalie blurted out as she walked into the kitchen to join us. Rosalie wore a pewter bubble dress with a gold halter neckline. It fell to her mid-thighs and made her long legs look even longer, if that was possible. Her long blond locks were tucked in a loose updo. She looked effortlessly beautiful.

"You know, Rosalie, someone might mistake you for art work. You look beautiful!" I said.

"Yeah, well, if anyone offers me money to go home with them, I can't be held responsible for the beating they'll incur," she said seriously.

We all laughed. "The question is though, who will inflict the beating? You or Emmett?" I asked, giggling.

She looked at me with a knowing smirk, "Yeah, Emmett can be kind of possessive, can't he? God, I love that!"

Alice had poured each of us a glass of champagne. As we all giggled over Rosalie's confession, we toasted, "To possessive, protective, and drop dead gorgeous boyfriends!" I had missed hanging out with my girls.

Although our jovial banter was making me feel better, I was still a nervous wreck. "You guys, I feel like I'm going to puke, I'm so nervous," I confessed, holding my stomach.

Rosalie leaned in for a hug, "Don't worry Bella, it'll be great."

I took another quick sip, "I hope you're right."

"What does Edward think of all this?" Alice asked.

"Well, it was his idea, so he's very supportive." It was true, Edward had been great. He encouraged me every step of the way. I never would have done this without him.

"So, how are things with Mr. Cullen these days?" Rosalie asked. She could always be counted on to get to the bottom of things quickly.

I blushed, thinking of how much things had changed in the past few months.

"Things are great. I'm happy. Happier than I've been in a really long time." What else was there to say?

"That's it?" Rosalie asked incredulously.

"What were you expecting?" I replied defensively.

"Has he told you that he loves you?" Alice asked coyly.

"No, it's not like that," I stammered.

"Not like that?" Rosalie chided, "What the fuck does that mean? Do you love him or don't you?"

"It's not that simple," I said somewhat defensively. "We just don't talk about things like that." I felt like I was being attacked. I didn't like having my relationship under scrutiny, especially since I'd wondered about the same thing.

_Does Edward love me?_

He hadn't said it and neither had I. I knew that I loved him. I had since Paris, but hadn't known how to deal with it. It was always about him for me. But telling him was something else entirely. I didn't want to ruin everything we had going but it wasn't a casual thing for me.

"Fine!" Rose said some what forcefully. "Do you love him?"

I stared at her for a moment, and then reluctantly responded, "Very much, but I haven't told him yet. So I would appreciate it if you didn't either!"

"Why haven't you told him yet, Bella? I know you've loved him since you met in Europe. It's so obvious to us." I would hate Rosalie for her bluntness if I didn't love her so much.

"I'm not ready, and that's all you need to know," I said as I looked down at my perfectly manicured toes.

"Bella, he loves you," Alice said, trying to comfort me. "It's obvious to everyone who sees you together."

I shook it off, "Can we change the subject please?" I was beginning to feel like I couldn't breathe and this conversation wasn't helping matters.

They both nodded just as the doorbell rang. We grabbed our clutches and answered the door. I swung the door open and nearly fainted when I saw Edward.

_Oh my God, that's my boyfriend?_

He had on a classic black tuxedo that fit him perfectly. His hair was done the same way I loved, slightly messy, yet styled. He had a small amount of stubble that made him look unbelievably sexy.

He smiled widely when he saw me and looked me up and down, at which point I think he said something because his lips were moving but my brain had completely shut down at the sight of him. I was stunned stupid for several moments. I just stood there and stared at him with my mouth hanging open. I might have even drooled a little. There was nothing more beautiful than Edward in that tux.

I heard him chuckle, and that broke my trance. "I'm sorry, did you say something?" I asked.

He looked at me with concern, "Are you okay, baby?"

It was my turn to laugh, "Besides being incredibly nervous, I'm fine. I was just stunned a little by how good you look in that tux. What did you say?" I smiled at him and then kissed him quickly.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Stunned by me in a tux, huh?"

"Edward, don't make fun of me tonight. I'm already on eggshells," I pouted a little. "Are you going to tell me what you said?"

He grabbed my chin between his thumb and his finger and then bent down and kissed me gently. "I said, Wow Bella, you look gorgeous. You take my breath away!"

_I look gorgeous? Have you looked in a mirror today?_

"Thank you, sweetheart. Unfortunately, how I feel is another story entirely."

He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, "You'll do great."

We walked down to the limo, where Jasper and Emmett stood waiting for us, also donning tuxedos. They had really pulled out all the stops for me tonight. We all exchanged hugs and the guys helped us into the limo as we set out for dinner and then the gallery.

"Damn! We're the three luckiest bastards around to have dates this hot," Emmett bellowed. Edward and Jasper smiled and nodded in agreement.

Rosalie, not being shy in the least, responded "Well, if you think you're lucky now, just wait till I get you home and out of that tux."

"Fuck, I like the sound of that," Emmett grinned mischievously. "Bella, I'm suddenly not feeling so well so Rose and I are going to call it a night." He winked at me, but was slapped upside the head by Rosalie while she mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'dumbass'.

I felt Edward's eyes on me the entire car ride to the restaurant, and his arm was wrapped around me holding me to his side. He held my hand with his free one, but often released it to rub the back of his fingers down my cheek.

He leaned in and whispered gently into my ear, "You are so beautiful, and I am so proud to be your date."

All through dinner, I could only pick at my food. I really did feel like I was going to puke. This was so outside my comfort zone. I'd have never done something this bold without Edward's influence. I knew he believed in my work, I just hoped it wouldn't backfire. I was just so nervous.

Edward could sense my nerves and he did everything he could to help ease my worries. He gently rubbed my back and my leg while we sat at the table, silently reassuring me that things would be okay.

We pulled up in front of the gallery and there was already quite a large crowd there. Edward held my hand as we walked into the gallery, smiling at the various critics and socialites.

"Hey, try to relax, It's going to be fine. I promise. I'm here for you and so are our friends," he whispered in my ear.

_I wish I had his confidence._

My boss, the gallery owner, whisked me away to introduce me to various guests. She had invited many prominent people from the art scene and well-known people in the community. I was overwhelmed by her confidence in me. I didn't want the spotlight, but it was not as bad as I thought it would be. My work was well received and I found that I was actually having fun.

Every now and then, I would catch Edward staring at me with a quirky smile on his face and I would smile and wave back. Finally, when the introductions were over and the party was well underway, I made my way back to my friends and Edward.

"You looked like a pro out there, working the crowd, Bella," Emmett said as he handed me a much-needed glass of champagne.

"Thanks. It was fun, actually. People seem to like my work, which is a huge relief," I sighed, taking a sip out of the glass.

Edward's arm snaked around my waist and pulled me into his side, "I knew they'd love you,"

_Yes, but do you?  
_

The conversation from earlier came back into my mind and I looked at Edward to see if I could see what Alice said she saw with certainty.

There were times when our connection was so deep that I could feel that he loved me. But why hadn't he said it?

_Why haven't you?_

It was hard to contain the doubts that were creeping in on me. Maybe it was the long night and earlier anxiety or the champagne going to my head.

We climbed back into the limo, exhausted from the party. The girls and I took off our shoes and rubbed our aching feet. I lay my head in Edward's lap and he rubbed my hair gently.

"You were terrific, baby," he said softly as I shut my eyes. The others in the limo cuddled as we did and the ride home was relatively silent, all of us exhausted.

Rosalie and I were staying with Emmett and Edward at the guys' apartment, so we dropped off Alice and Jasper at our place on the way home. They both congratulated me one more time and shut the door, walking into the building. I couldn't help but think how much in love they looked and I felt envious.

_Cut it out, Bella._

Edward, Rosalie, Emmett and I poured out of the limo and made our way to the guys' apartment. Our purses and shoes made a loud crashing sound as they hit the table near the entryway.

"Oh my God, I'm so tired," Rosalie said as she grabbed Emmett's hand and dragged him down the hallway into his room. Before I heard the door close gently, I heard Emmett ask Rosalie if he was still getting lucky now that they were home. I had to giggle at that.

I walked to the window, admiring the view and feeling incredibly relieved that the night was over. I had survived. I reached for the pins in my hair and shook it down as Edward came up behind me, hugging me tightly.

"I thought you were tired," he said lightly.

"I am. But I still feel a little keyed up after all that excitement. I really need sleep," I said, resting my head back against his shoulder.

"Well, I get some dirty thoughts when I see you running your hands through your hair like that. It's not helping your cause." He kissed my bare shoulder and neck and I reached down and clasped his hands in mine.

We rocked gently back and forth, our bodies flush against each other and I hummed lightly.

"I was so proud of you tonight, Bella," he whispered into my ear. "I know you were incredibly nervous, but you didn't look it or act it. You were so brave. I told you it would go off without a hitch."

"Yeah, but it could have just as easily gone the other way."

He squeezed me tightly, "No, you're too talented."

"Thank you for everything, Edward. I wouldn't have done any of this without you." I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my head on his chest.

"I just have good taste, what can I say?" he said with a smirk.

"No, I mean it. I'd have never gotten up the nerve to show my art if it hadn't been for you."

His hands moved up and cupped my face, rubbing his thumbs gently on my cheeks, "I believe in you, which is why I encouraged you. And I was so incredibly proud of you tonight. I wanted to whisk you away and keep you all to myself. But, just like your art, you needed to be where everyone could see you. You were wonderful tonight."

Edward had the most incredible way with words. He could make me putty in his hands with just a sentence. He had no idea the effect he had on me. He was so sweet and loving, yet I was still bothered.

The three words I longed to hear from him had eluded me. Did he feel the same way about me that I did about him? I wanted to talk to him and find out, but could I live with the answer? I didn't want to break the bubble of contentment and was so tired that I knew I should put it off for another day.

Edward led me into the bedroom and helped me out of my dress. We both slipped into bed and I cuddled up against his side, in my usual position.

"Goodnight, Bella," he hummed as he rubbed my back.

"Goodnight, Edward."

But, despite how tired I was and how well the night had gone, I knew that my sleep wouldn't be restful.

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**A/N: Come check out my O/S for the Officer and a Gentleman contest called A World Away. Link is in my profile.**

**Also, I'll be posting the pics of all the outfits for the art show in the LOTS thread on Twilighted and Twitter, so come take a look!**


	24. Chapter 23 Nostalgia

**A/N: My amazing readers make me want to make this story good. Each review I get makes me want to ensure that this story is worthy. Thanks so much for making me want to write! You have no idea how happy your reviews make me! **

**Reviews=Teasers**

**Scscquared and TwiHart, my betas, have got to be wondering if they are working with a crazy lady at this point. They keep me focused and on track, despite my often manic episodes, LOL. A million thanks! Also, thanks to Sunfeathers for all the kind words and help. **

**I've got to give special shout out this week to Jewels64, who definitely talked me down off a ledge last night. This writing business is tough! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 23:**

**October 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

Bella had gone home to get ready for her big night so I had some time to myself. Jasper and Emmett were out so I played my piano.

My life was hectic and I rarely found the time to play, but it had been such a passion of mine for so long that it felt good to come back. My fingers moved across the keys with ease and I thought about how nice it would be to share this with Bella.

She'd never heard me play, although she'd asked me several times. It was hypocritical, I knew. She was about to share her art with the world, at my urging, and I hadn't even shared this part of my life with her. There was nothing I wanted more than to be completely open with Bella. She was the reason I felt lighter, inspired to play and the music flowed freely. I was really proud of her for taking this step.

I knew that despite her protests, this showing was important to her. She had talent and she needed to be pushed to make it known to the world.

Emmett and Jasper showed up and we did a tequila shot before the limo showed up. I couldn't wait to see Bella. She wouldn't tell me anything about her dress, but I knew she had phenomenal taste.

She opened the door and I almost fell over. Her dress wasn't the most revealing dress I'd ever seen, nor the flashiest, but it was the most perfect dress for her I could have imagined.

She looked every bit the part of a well established and talented artist and I felt honored to be her date.

Her boss dragged her away almost immediately upon our arrival, much to my dismay, so I conveniently found the bar. I tracked her movement around the gallery, watching her skillfully finesse her way around the notable guests.

_She's so fucking beautiful._

The night had gone perfectly and Bella was dazzling. I listened as the other guests buzzed about her work. I was so incredibly proud of her and all that she had accomplished. She was so excited about the reaction she was getting, and her smile made my heart soar.

The ride home was quiet and peaceful as she lay in my lap, while I brushed my fingers through her hair. This beautiful woman was mine and I was incredibly lucky to have her company. I loved her so much that it scared me. She could ruin me if she decided she didn't want me and I felt more vulnerable than I ever had.

We hadn't talked much about our feelings and I wasn't sure why. I knew I loved her since our time in Paris, but I'd never told her. I was nervous that she wouldn't reciprocate my feelings. Still, I knew I should tell her how I felt, even if it meant rejection. She deserved to know.

When Bella ended things with me five years ago, or rather, when she just stopped returning my calls, the pain was unbearable. I fell in love with her in Europe, probably in that pub the first night and I never stopped. I learned the hard way that my heart was indeed fragile when it was broken for the first and only time by Bella. It wasn't really her fault though, how could she have known that she could break my heart if I hadn't told her how I felt? She definitely needed to know.

When we got home, I wanted nothing more than to take Bella into my arms and make love to her but the poor girl was exhausted. She had been so nervous about the show that she hadn't slept much in the past two days so I knew she needed the rest. My need for her could wait.

The next morning I surprised her with breakfast. She had been on edge for the past week, preparing for the show, so I thought she could use a little pampering.

When the coffee, toast and eggs were made, I brought them into my room on a tray as Bella squirmed and stretched to wake herself up.

"Mmm, Edward you didn't have to do all this," she said, moving to sit up as I laid the tray in her lap.

"I wanted to," I replied, kissing her forehead sweetly, "You've been so stressed lately."

She shrugged and nodded, "Well, I appreciate it." She tapped the bed next to her and I sat down with her while she ate.

"I have something I want to show you today," she said, in between sips of her coffee.

"What is it?" I asked, turning to face her.

"It's a painting I did," she started, "Something I hope you'll like."

"I can't wait to see it," I hummed as I got up, extending my hand to her. "Care to join me in the shower?"

She smirked knowingly at me and moved the tray aside as she stood, following me to the bathroom.

We took our time in the shower, caressing each other slowly as we gently washed our tension away. Bella's small fingers wrapped around my cock and I closed my eyes to take in all the sensations.

"God that feels good," I said breathily as she used the soapsuds as lubricant, rubbing up and down my length, twisting at the tip.

I leaned against the wall, my breathing shallow as she stroked me masterfully, "Bella, I don't think I can last long like this."

"That's the idea. I want to watch you come," she whispered.

_Jesus Christ._

She quickened her pace and I felt my release coming on strong. My head fell back and then forward as she tugged and squeezed me, my body twitching as my orgasm became imminent.

"Oh God…so…fucking…close…" I muttered as my hips forcefully thrust into her palm, my orgasm coming in powerful spurts.

I pulled Bella into my arms once I was finished and kissed her passionately. "That was certainly unexpected," I sighed, kissing her cheek and neck. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"You can just owe me, Edward, and I fully intend to collect," she said, tapping my chest with a devious smile on her face.

_Fuck yes, I'll pay up._

She stepped out of the shower and began to dry herself off. Just seeing her do something as simple as that made my dick stiffen again. I liked seeing her rubbing her body while I watched and I made a mental note to add a little self-play to the extensive list of things I wanted to do with Bella.

I changed my thoughts to baseball stats to curb my desire for her, or else I'd throw her down and take her again and we'd never get out of the house.

We climbed into my car and drove to the gallery for Bella's surprise. She was fucking adorable as she held my hand over the console, practically bouncing in her seat in anticipation. She was all smiles as she led me through the gallery and to her studio in the back.

"So, what's the big surprise?" I asked, pulling her into my arms once we were inside the studio.

She grabbed my hand and moved to one of the easels, which was covered with a paint-riddled tarp. She pulled the tarp off to reveal a finished painting.

It was a picture of two people, a man and a woman, sitting on a bench along a river. I recognized the scene immediate and I was instantly transplanted back five years to the bench that we had sat on along the Seine. I remembered at the time feeling like it was a fairy tale, and looking back on it, I realized that what we shared was so much more than either of us knew. My feelings for her had only intensified. So much had happened since then, but in a way it felt like just yesterday.

She'd painted a picture with painstaking detail that captured exactly how we both felt that day along the Seine. The romance, passion and the love. Everything was so new. Somehow, the simple brushstrokes on the canvas managed to portray all of it.

"I can't believe you remember that bench," I sighed. My fingers reverently brushed the canvas as if trying to go back in time as the memories and emotions flooded my body.

"Remember it?" she said, sounding shocked. "Edward, I remember everything about that trip. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me."

I turned around and pulled her once again into my arms, kissing her gently at first, then with more need.

"I knew you were someone special when I first saw you sitting there with your friends at the bar," she confessed. "You know I had noticed you and watched you for a while before Emmett approached me."

I couldn't help but laugh because I had spent much of that night watching her as well. "Oh really? And what were your conclusions?"

She smiled at me as she brushed a stray hair from my face. "I could tell that you were nice guy, and lord knows you were incredibly hot."

"Were?" I said, baiting her, but enjoying it.

"Edward, you make girls want to be _with_ you and guys want to _be_ you. You were and are incredibly gorgeous."

I walked us both back against the wall as I leaned in over her, my hands planted on the wall beside her face. "You don't have to worry about girls wanting to be with me. My heart is forever yours."

"Edward, I don't think it's your heart they want. Well, not initially anyway," she said with a slight grin forming on that beautiful mouth of hers. I just stared at her with mock horror on my face.

"So, all I am is a pretty face?" I asked trying to be serious but failing when the smile escaped.

I had her somewhat pinned against the wall with my body by this point. She pulled me even closer to her bringing our bodies together. Her eyes followed her right hand as she lifted it and trailed her index finger over my cheek bone down over my lower lip.

She stepped up onto her toes and brushed her lips against my ear and breathily said "No, Edward, you're more than just a pretty face. You've got this incredible body too." Her hand trailed down my neck, slowly making its way over my shoulder. Her gaze followed her hand down my body. She rested her palm on my chest and peeked up at me through her lashes.

_Fuck! That was hot._

"Women see this. They want you. And, it's a little unnerving."

_Don't be a pussy._

I moved one of my hands to her cheek, rubbing gently with my thumb, holding her gaze, "I couldn't care less about other women. You are the only woman I want." I stared into her beautiful, deep chocolate eyes. I had to tell her. "Bella, I love you. I'm so fucking in love with you that it scares me. I have been ever since we were in Paris but I was too chicken shit to tell you then."

She exhaled sharply and let her head fall against my chest as her arms tightened around me. I wanted to see her face, to gauge her reaction but she just stayed there, with her head down and I started to panic.

_Fuck, this isn't going well._

I heard a sniffle come from her and I lifted her face to meet my eyes. Tears were pouring down her face and she smiled through them as she gazed up at me.

_Please say something, Bella._

"I've waited for so long to hear you say that," she sobbed.

I pressed my body to her, needing to feel her as close as possible. "Does that mean you feel the same way?"

"Yes, Edward," she said as her hand reached up to my face, "I love you. I always have."

I kissed her again, but this time I was overcome with emotion. Knowing that Bella returned my love and that our feelings were finally out in the open was freeing. My hand lowered to her hip as I hitched her leg around me. She moaned as I pressed my body into her.

"I fucking love you so much," I sighed, kissing her neck as my free hand palmed her breast through her clothes.

Her hand lowered and unbuttoned my pants, sliding them down my legs until I could step out of them.

"Won't someone hear us?" I asked, hoping like hell she'd say 'no'. Taking her like this would be sexy as hell.

She shook her head as she reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head. "The gallery is closed today."

My hands instinctively moved back to her breasts, then slid around her back to unhook her bra. "God, you're so fucking sexy," I breathed.

She quickly removed my shirt and I pressed against her warm skin again, needing the closeness. I kneeled before her, unbuttoning her jeans and lowering them, along with her panties. I pulled her leg to rest over my shoulder as my hands moved up her standing leg, finally coming to rest on her hips.

"I need to taste you," I hummed, as I let my tongue slip out and lick her. She moaned and tangled her fingers in my hair, pressing my face against her.

"God Edward, that feels so good," she sighed, closing her eyes.

"Well, I do owe you one," I said with a smirk.

I let my fingers graze her entrance, slipping and sliding along her folds, coating my fingers with her arousal. I slipped two fingers inside of her as I sucked and licked on her clit. Her hips moved back and forth against my mouth, controlling how she wanted it. I loved that she knew what she wanted.

I felt her body tighten and she screamed out my name as she came hard around my fingers and against my mouth. Her legs felt heavy, like she was struggling to support her body weight as she convulsed and came down from her release.

I lowered her leg and stood up, never letting my hands leave her body. My tongue slipped into her mouth and I snaked my hand into her hair, tilting it so I could gain the most contact. I needed her like my life depended on it. She was like oxygen to me and no matter how close we were it wasn't close enough.

She wrapped her leg around my waist and I slid my hands to her ass and lifted her off the ground, pressing her firmly into the wall. I reached down, grabbing my impossibly hard cock and guided it to her entrance.

I lifted her slightly and then lowered her down onto me as I slid inside her, a deep moan emanating from my chest. She squeezed me with her legs, angling her hips so I could penetrate her deeper.

"Fuck…so good," I murmured into her neck as I began to thrust forcefully into her.

"Harder, Edward," Bella gasped. That was all I needed to hear as I intensified my movements, quickly spiraling into the abyss with her. I wanted to possess her, make her mine.

I had thought that when I finally confessed my love for her that we would make love tenderly, yet here I was pounding relentlessly into her. It was exactly what I needed though. My emotions were too raw to be gentle. I needed her to understand just how out of control I felt.

She seemed to be enjoying it too, which spurred me on. Her hand reached down between us and she began to touch herself, grazing the spot where we were joined. It took all my control not to come right then, but I wanted to give her pleasure.

She was rubbing herself furiously as I buried my cock deep within her. She screamed out as she came, her head thrashing as her breaths came in short, shallow gasps. Watching her in the throes of passion pushed me over the edge and I spilled into her, penetrating her as deep as I could get.

She rested her forehead on my shoulder as I kissed her neck and shoulder. Setting her down, I slid out of her, immediately feeling the loss.

"That's not how I wanted it to be," I sighed.

She lifted her head, looking slightly shocked, "Edward, I wanted that as much as you did. It was perfect."

I moved the hair out of her face, my body still pressed against her, "I love you, Bella."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a tight hug, "I love you too. I'm so glad I can finally tell you how much."

We stayed there, hugging and kissing, holding each other for several minutes. I was afraid to let go, worried that I'd never have another moment as perfect as this one.

We cleaned up and got dressed again, leaving her studio silently, hand in hand. Things felt different between us than when we came in. We were closer, more in tune with each other. It felt right.

We climbed into my car and Bella gave my hand a squeeze.

"So, I guess you liked the painting, huh?" she said, as she chuckled lightly.

"You could say that." I looked over at her and smiled deviously, reminded of how raw and open we had just been with each other. "I liked it very much."

"I'm glad because I made it for you. I've been waiting to show it to you until the time was right."

I pulled her hand up to my lips and kissed them gently, "Thank you, Bella. For everything."

I had finally told her how I felt about her and I knew without a doubt that she felt the same way about me. In one brief moment in time, I had relived my treasured past and solidified my future.

I didn't want the moment to end.

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**A/N: So, I admit I have a thing for showers. Can you tell? Yummy! And, they finally said ILY! Did it live up to your expectations? Shoot me a review to let me know what you thought. (And that means all you lurkers too! LOL)**

**We're getting very close to being done with the story. I hope you guys will hang in there with me until the end. At this point, there are about 3-4 more chapters planned. Also, I'm going to be posting twice a week now since I think the story needs to move forward more rapidly now. Enjoy!**


	25. Chapter 24 Halloween

**A/N: Thanks again to all my readers. I love you guys so much. I really do! Thanks also to the folks over at A Different Forest for the warm welcome to the site. I appreciate it! **

**Please keep the reviews coming, I read and respond to every one. Do you think we can get up to 1,000 reviews? It's a personal goal of mine, so please help me out!**

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**I love my betas, scsquared and TwiHart. That is all.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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**Chapter 24:**

**October 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

I walked lazily into the kitchen to make myself a snack and was hit like a wave with the sight of Bella, leaning over the granite countertop in nothing but a pair of lacy boyshorts and my t-shirt. She was doing a crossword puzzle innocently, but my thoughts were anything but innocent.

Her ass was perfectly on display as her hips cocked to one side and her legs were crossed at the ankles. She bit the end of a pencil in concentration, tapping her fingers on the countertop.

She glanced over her shoulder when she heard me coming flashing me the cutest fucking expression on her face. She was smiling while still biting on the pencil, the smile being flirty as hell. My pants tightened as my body reacted to the sight of her. I slid up behind her letting my hands reach around her; one gripped her hips and the other slid lower between her thighs, feeling the heat emanating off her.

"Bella, you can't walk around the house like that and not expect me to react," I said, as I gently nibbled her ear and pressed my hips into her. "Plus, what if the guys come home?"

"They are gone for the afternoon, so we have your place all to ourselves," she said flirtatiously. "What do you think we should do to pass the time?"

_This woman is killing me._

I wasn't sure where the next comment came from, but I was definitely worked up and she wasn't helping matters any, "How about I fuck you right here on this counter?"

She turned around; my arms still wrapped tightly around her, and smiled deviously, "You'd do that?"

_Umm…yeah._

"In a New York minute," I said, kissing her neck, while my hands found her soft skin of her back beneath her shirt.

She reached down and pulled the shirt over her head as my hands rubbed up and down her back.

_Fuck, no bra._

My mouth instinctively moved to her breast and I sucked her hardened nipple into my mouth, enjoying the way she squirmed beneath my lips.

"So fucking good," I murmured against her warm skin.

Her hands began to undress me in a frenzy of desire, pulling and tugging until I was naked and impossibly hard.

"I need you," she whispered breathily in my ear.

I lifted her by her ass and set her down on the counter, laying her back gently. Her hair splayed out as her head tilted back, almost hanging off the back of the counter. Her back was arched and her breasts called to me, begging to be touched and kissed.

I stood between her legs as I let my hand slowly descend her body, between her breasts, over her stomach and hips, finally sliding down her leg. She lifted her leg, which was previously wrapped around me to allow me to continue my touching. She whimpered and smiled when I reached her ankle and moved it to rest on my shoulder.

"I don't think I can be gentle, Bella," I sighed, massaging and kissing her calf as I stroked my cock with my other hand.

"Mmm, I like the sound of that," she said, extending her hands over her head in complete submission as she brought her other leg over my shoulder.

_Jesus Christ._

Bella was spread before me, on my fucking kitchen countertop, which thankfully was the perfect height for my cock to line up with her glistening entrance. Her ankles were on my shoulders and she was naked and ready. My dick throbbed and I longed to be inside of her.

I guided my cock to her slick folds, rubbing up and down to tease her and then powerfully thrust into her, causing her to groan loudly and buck her hips into me.

I pulled out and pounded fiercely into her again, using my hand on the top of her thighs to push even deeper into her.

"Oh fuck…Edward…harder…" She grabbed the edge of the counter above her head and thrust herself into my hips, causing me to groan loudly.

_That's it, Bella._

Clutching her ankles, I gently lowered her legs from my shoulders, spreading them wide as I continued to thrust into her.

"I want to see you touch yourself," I grunted out in between thrusts.

She reached down, leaving one hand behind her head, and slowly lowered her other hand down her body until her delicate fingers rested on her clit, rubbing gently.

"Like this," she sighed breathlessly, "Is this what you had in mind?"

_Holy shit._

I had never seen Bella so wanton before. She was so carefree and uninhibited and I fucking loved it. I knew I should be gentler with her, but I couldn't help myself. She was irresistible.

"Bella, come for me, baby. I want to feel you come hard on my cock." I looked in her eyes, which were dark with lust and I could tell that she was close to her release.

"Oh God…Edward…don't stop…just like that…" she mumbled incoherently as I drilled into her. The ripples of her orgasm wracked her body and I stilled my movements to feel each and every contraction. The feeling of being inside Bella when she came brought me quickly to my own climax as I yelled obscenities and exploded into her.

"Oh Jesus, Bella," I whimpered, lowering her legs as I pulled out of her, my knees shaky from the exertion.

She ran her hand over her face and through her hair, "Wow," she sighed, her breathing still shallow, "that was just…fuck."

_I couldn't agree more._

I grabbed her hands and helped her to sit as I pulled her into a tight hug, my hands placed on the back of her head, clinging to her hair as I inhaled her delicious scent.

"I love you so much," I hummed into her ear.

Her arms were wrapped around my back, rubbing gently up and down as she kissed my chest and shoulder. "I love you too."

She climbed off the counter and sauntered into the bathroom to shower, grabbing her clothes along the way. I watched her walk away and made a mental note that clothes should be banned when we were alone. I quickly slid on some boxers and cleaned up the kitchen, since our impromptu fucking session had made quite a mess. We never did shit like that and I was excited that Bella was so spontaneous.

By the time I got back into my room, she was out of the shower and getting ready. We were going to a costume party for Halloween at Tanya's house. I was going as a football player and Bella was going as a referee. It was cheesy, but I couldn't say no to Bella.

As I was putting on my costume, Bella emerged looking unbelievably hot in the sexiest referee costume I'd ever seen. She had on black, short shorts with a fitted black and white striped shirt, which was cut really fucking low. Her hair was in two low ponytails, draping loosely over her shoulders. Her legs looked like they were a mile long, with high heels and socks that came up over her knees to her thighs.

I moved like a magnet to her, "You can't leave the house looking like that," I huffed, kissing her cheek.

She smiled sweetly, "Oh, so you like my costume?"

_Like it? Jesus Fucking Christ._

"Bella, I'm not going to be able to think about anything else all night, and neither will any other guy there." The thought of other guys ogling her made me fucking pissed.

"Oh come on, you know the only opinion I care about is yours." She smiled as she walked out of the room, looking over her shoulder. "Come on, everyone will be here soon."

The gang showed up and we were going to have a few cocktails before we left for the party.

Rosalie was dressed as a sexy witch, and had dressed up Emmett as a fucking banana. He looked like a wall of yellow coming into the house and I nearly spit out my drink when I saw him. He looked hilarious. It was a perfect costume for him, given his larger than life personality. He was the only person I knew who could pull off a fucking banana costume and not look like a complete asshole.

Alice looked perfectly put together as a cat, complete with ears and a tail, while Jasper took the easy way out as a hippie, donning a long wig and a suede vest with fringe on it.

"Hey, you guys look great," Jasper said, motioning to Bella and me, but only really eyeing Bella.

I hit him in the chest and he chuckled lightly, "Let's get a drink."

We arrived at Tanya's house at about 8:00, and her place was already quite crowded with guests. We made our way into the kitchen and poured ourselves a couple of drinks.

"Thanks for coming, guys," Tanya said as she hugged me and then turned to Bella, smiling. "Bella, you look great." But there was a certain look in her eyes and I knew she wasn't being sincere.

Tanya had not been overly happy for me when I started dating Bella. I think she was still holding out hope that she and I would end up together, even though I'd been more than straightforward about wanting to remain friends. Tanya's obvious jealousy of Bella had been the source of tension between Tanya and me but I hoped as time went by that things would smooth over.

For Tanya's sake, I hoped it happened sooner rather than later. Tanya and I had been friends for a really long time. I didn't want to see our friendship end, but if she couldn't respect my relationship with Bella and show Bella respect than our friendship wouldn't last much longer. I wouldn't stand by and let her be rude to the woman I loved.

It was no surprise that every guy at the party noticed Bella and her costume. As the party went on I was seething with jealousy. Bella was oblivious to the stares and slack jaws but I could see the guy's faces as she walked by. I tried to keep her by my side as much as possible, but I didn't want to come off like some possessive asshole boyfriend, which I realized was exactly how I was feeling.

The party was lively and fun with loud music playing and all kinds of Halloween decorations all around. Everyone seemed to embrace the costumes and each time someone with a creative costume passed by, there was always a stream of laughter. Bella and I were having a great time, dancing and laughing with our friends, but to be honest, I couldn't wait to get Bella back home and have her all to myself.

"I'll be right back," Bella said sweetly, kissing my cheek. "Don't move a muscle."

I watched her move through the crowd toward the bathroom, eventually disappearing from my sight.

Emmett and I joked around for a while. We were having our own personal costume contest when people walked by. It was not lost on me that every costume that Emmett voted on was a sexy whatever…sexy police woman, sexy construction worker, sexy nurse. When Rosalie walked up behind him and heard his comments, she smacked him upside the head, causing me to double over in a fit of laughter. I tried to warn him that that would happen.

After what seemed like a long time, Bella had still not returned to me. I began to worry and started roaming the party to find her. I mean, how long could the line for the bathroom be?

After searching the family room and the dining room, I walked into the living room and saw Bella talking with Tanya while holding a picture frame in her hand. Her head hung low, her body almost turned into herself, and it looked like she was crying, but I had no idea why.

Bella looked furious and upset when I walked up to them, tears streaming down her face.

"Bella, baby? What's wrong? Are you okay?" I asked, concerned. I took a step toward her to pull her into a hug but she stopped me abruptly.

She thrust the frame at me and my face fell as I looked at it, "Who's that, Edward?" She pointed to the woman with fire red hair standing next to me.

_Victoria. Fuck._

"Bella, that was taken a long time ago," I said, reaching out to comfort her. She flinched and pulled away. Tanya just glared at me with her arms crossed.

_What the fuck is going on?_

Bella sniffled and inhaled, trying to collect her thoughts, "Answer me one question, Edward."

"Of course, anything." I didn't like where this was headed.

"Was that girl your girlfriend when we were together in Europe?" she asked as she pointed to the picture.

_Oh shit._

"Bella, let's go home and we can talk about this. I'll answer any question you ask. Can we please not do this here?" I tried to gently grab Bella's arm so we could leave to talk, but she shrugged me off.

"Edward? It's a yes or no question. Was she your girlfriend?" She stood with her arms crossed waiting for my answer, tears still coming down her cheeks. The sight was absolutely breaking my heart.

"It's not that simple. It wasn't like that…" I stammered but was interrupted.

Her voice was louder, more fierce when she spoke. "Was she your girlfriend or not? Yes or NO?" She looked angry as hell, but I could also see the hurt behind her eyes.

I ran my fingers through my hair nervously. I had been avoiding this topic since I met Bella but now I could see that that was a mistake. She shouldn't have found out about Victoria like this.

_You're such a dick._

"Edward, please just answer me," she pleaded, gazing at me through her tears.

"Technically, yes," I said, panicked that Bella wasn't going to let me explain, "but it wasn't…"

"Technically?" She looked at me, aghast.

"Bella, let me explain…" I stammered.

Her expression turned ice cold. The glare she gave me froze me in my spot. "I've heard enough, Edward. The way I see it, you've had plenty of time to 'explain' and you didn't. Your omission is a lie, a betrayal. How could you? You bastard!" she spat, as she held up her hand in front of my face and walked by.

_Fuck!_

I turned to chase after her, but she shrugged me off, "Bella, fuck. It's not what you think."

"Let me go, Edward." She continued to walk away from me with tears falling down her cheeks, her shoulders slightly shaking as if she was on the verge of sobs.

_Fuck!!!_

Alice, seeing Bella's condition, raced over and threw her arms around Bella, shielding her from me.

"Can you take me home, Alice?" she asked quietly. I just stood there, feeling like a complete shithead as my girlfriend cried. Alice glared at me with a mama bear look that told me that I'd better not try and do anything.

"Of course I'll take you home," Alice soothed, "Let me just get the keys from Jasper."

They walked off and I knew there was nothing I could do to prevent her from leaving. I needed to clear things up, but I had no idea what to do. Seeing her so upset was breaking my heart, and it was amplified knowing that I had caused it. I followed them out the door but she never acknowledged me.

After I watched her get in the car, I turned and stalked back into the party to find Tanya, who was still in the living room. She had replaced the picture frame back amongst the others on display. If I wasn't so upset about what was going on with Bella, I might have noticed the smirk she had on her face sooner.

"Tanya, what the fuck did you say to her?" I asked, seething with anger.

"Me? Why is this MY fault?" she said defensively.

"Just tell me what you said," I demanded, as I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that you hadn't even told her about Victoria?"

I knew that Tanya was right, but I could help but question her intentions. She'd made no bones about the fact that she wasn't supportive of my relationship with Bella, so this played right into what she wanted. She could have softened the blow for Bella, but knowing Tanya, she let Bella come to her own conclusions.

"Edward, how could you have gone this long and not told her about Victoria?"

I didn't need Tanya to point out the obvious. I fucked up. I knew that. I should have told Bella.

"Fuck you, Tanya! It's not your goddamn place to tell MY girlfriend anything. That shit is for me to tell her and I've been trying to find the right fucking time to do it…but FUCK!" I wailed at her. "Now it's all fucked up. What the hell happened? Why the fuck did you have to tell her?"

"She was in here looking at pictures and when she saw the photo of all of us with Victoria in it, she asked me about her," Tanya said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Why? It's not like she knows her or anything," I asked, confused as to why that particular picture would spark such a fierce reaction from Bella.

"I don't know, but she did say she'd seen her before," Tanya added.

_She's seen her? When?_

I slammed my fist down on the entertainment center, feeling helpless, "Fuck!" I yelled loudly causing several people to take notice.

Jasper was among those who heard me and walked over to me, "Bad night, huh?"

"That's the fucking understatement of the year," I hissed back.

"What happened? Alice took my car to take Bella home. She looked pretty fucking upset," Jasper said, empathetically.

"She found out about Victoria." I shook my head and lowered it, sighing. "The wrong way."

"Oh…" he said slowly, nodding in understanding. "I guess it didn't go over so well then, huh?"

"What the fuck do _you_ think?" I spat at him. I knew I was being an ass and that Jasper didn't deserve it, but I was so fucking lost.

_What the fuck am I going to do?_

He shrugged and took a sip of his beer.

"I'm sorry, man," I said, feeling guilty over fucking yelling at him. It wasn't Jasper's fault that I was such a dickhead.

"It's okay. I understand. I'd feel the same way if I was you," Jasper said calmly, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't fucking know. I've got to straighten this whole mess out and Bella won't even talk to me."

"Give her some time. Alice is with her, that'll help." Jasper handed me a drink, but I didn't feel like staying.

"Thanks, but I've got to go. God, I hope you're right, Jasper. I've never seen her so upset before. I don't know what I'll fucking do if she won't talk to me." Jasper instructed me to stay away from Bella tonight and give her some space. I heard him, but I didn't know if I could stay away.

I weaved through the crowd and left, finding my car. I slid into the driver's seat and slammed my fists down on the steering wheel. I was such a stupid fuck. Why didn't I just tell her? Why did she have to find out like this?

I should have mailed those fucking letters when I wrote them.

Now it was too late and I had no idea if Bella would forgive me.

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**A/N: Uh oh. Tanya's never a good thing, is she? Wonder what she told Bella? Shoot me a review for a teaser!**


	26. Chapter 25 Betrayal

**A/N: I'll keep this short. Thanks for the love. I appreciate it so much! **

**My betas were super busy this week and busted their tails to get this out, so many thanks to scsquared and TwiHart. Also, thanks to Sunfeathers for pre-reading. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 25:**

**October 2009- Seattle**

**BPOV**

We were having such a fun time at the party. We laughed and talked with our friends. Everything was finally the way they should be between us. I had no idea that Edward possessed a secret that could break us apart.

It started out innocent enough. Edward and I were grabbing a drink when I had to go to the bathroom. He was jealous and protective because my costume was so skimpy, but I thought it was cute. I loved that he kept close to me, always touching me in some way. He seemed to want everyone to know that I was his, and I was happy to oblige. So my impromptu trip to the bathroom was the first time I was on my own without Edward since we walked into the party. I made my way through the crowd and finally found the bathroom. Like any party, there were people waiting their turn so I took advantage of the time and casually looked around the room.

Tanya's house was very well put together and looked like it belonged to someone much older than us, like it was professionally decorated. There were pictures of her with her family and friends carefully placed on shelves and tables, even quite a few with Edward. He was so cute. I couldn't help but enjoy the brief glimpses of a younger Edward and his long-time friend, Tanya. Edward had told me all about their family history and their friendship, so seeing his photo seemed natural. Nothing looked unusual or out of place.

But then I saw a picture with four people in it: Tanya, some guy who appeared to be her date, Edward and HER.

It would have been impossible to forget that hair. I remembered her face as if it was burned on my brain and it took me back to that day in Los Angeles, when my world came crashing down.

_Alice and Rosalie had surprised me with a plane ticket to Los Angeles and two tickets to the UCLA-Washington football game. They both knew how hard the distance between Edward and me had been on our relationship and I was grateful for their generosity. It was late September and I hadn't seen Edward since June so I was very excited about my visit. _

_I decided that I wanted to surprise him. He had surprised me with our trip to Paris and I wanted to see his face light up when he saw me actually in LA. The morning of our flight, I called him and told him to make sure he was home because I had something important that I wanted to talk to him about that night. He questioned me a little bit, but eventually agreed and we said our goodbyes. Everything was in place. Once we landed, I was going to go over to his house and surprise him and then the next day we'd go to the game. _

_My stomach was in knots when we landed and I was so giddy that I couldn't stand it. Finally, after all these months, I'd get to see Edward. _

_We grabbed our bags off the carousel and made our way to the hotel where we were staying (or where I hoped just Rosalie and Alice would stay). I changed my clothes and tried to look as good as I could in a short period of time. I didn't want to wait any longer to see Edward. _

"_I'm so happy for you," Alice said as she hugged me goodbye. "Have fun tonight." _

_I nodded and waved over my shoulder as I left the hotel, the anticipation building in me. _

_I got lost on the way to his house and was frustrated with the traffic, but nothing would prevent me from seeing him. My plan was to call him from the front of his house and tell him to walk outside, and then he'd see me. It was cheesy, but I liked cheesy. He'd be so surprised because I was never this spontaneous._

_I had almost forgotten how good it felt to kiss him and be in his arms. My nights had been consumed with thoughts of us being together. Sometimes I could almost feel his touch on my body and other times I struggled to remember his scent or the feel of him. The distance was taking its toll. _

_I parked the car in front of his house, turned it off, reaching for Rosalie's phone. I had borrowed it since my battery was dead. I squeezed it tightly before I got up the nerve to call. My palms were sweating as I dialed the numbers. A smile crept onto my face as I realized that my plan came to fruition. He was just across the street._

_The phone rang several times before someone answered. "Hello?" It was a female voice and I was immediately confused, assuming I'd dialed the wrong number. _

"_I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number," I said, frazzled._

"_Oh, okay. Who were you trying to reach?" Her voice was smooth as silk._

"_I was trying to reach Edward," I replied, my voice cracking a bit._

"_Yeah, you've got the right number. Hang on a second," she said, and then yelled into the room "Babe, the phone's for you."_

_Babe? _

_My stomach fell and I swiftly closed the phone. I didn't know what else to do. He had a girlfriend. Who else would call him 'babe'? I didn't know why I'd never thought about that possibility. We had agreed to date other people, or at least not be closed off to the idea, yet the realization hurt a lot more than the hypothetical. I shouldn't have been so shocked, but I was. Jealousy reared up in me and I felt the heat rush to my face. _

_The way the girl spoke to him was definitely more familiar than someone he casually dated. Most girls didn't answer their boyfriend's phone or call him babe if they weren't really comfortable._

_I felt sick thinking about him with someone else. Then it hit me. What did I expect? That he would be celibate? Still, he and I had talked often since Europe. How could he call me and act like I meant something to him and yet be leading such a double life? Maybe I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. Should I question everything I knew about Edward about our time together in Europe? Or was this something he was going to tell me about? I suddenly wondered if she knew we still talked. How long had he kept me a secret from her?_

_The tears streamed down my face as my hopes for this weekend and continuing some kind of relationship with Edward were crushed. I couldn't keep doing this- holding out false hope. I was foolish to think that we could continue with our relationship when there was no chance of the situation changing. The distance was killing me and yet he had obviously moved on quite nicely. _

_Just then I saw Edward and this girl emerge from his house. She was about my height and beautiful. Stunning. Her hair was a beautiful red mane that flowed over her shoulders in loose curls. She was dressed impeccably and looked like she could have been a model. They walked to what I assumed was her car and he kissed her forehead sweetly before she got in and drove away. It was tender and sweet, just as he had been with me. _

_He turned and walked into the house, with his hands in his pockets and I desperately wanted to go to him, but I couldn't. I wanted to be angry with him but I couldn't do that either. Edward should be happy and I was too far away from him to offer him anything. It didn't make sense for Edward to wait for me. I didn't really expect him to. He was so wonderful and he deserved to be with someone who was truly his match. I let out a sigh of defeat before driving away._

_It was over. It had to be. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't let this situation make me question everything, especially myself._

_Rosalie and Alice were already out so I had the hotel room to myself. I slumped down on the bed pondering how things had taken such a dramatic turn. I felt sick to my stomach. The tears wouldn't stop falling. _

_My phone rang after about an hour, so I reached over and grabbed it off the charger to see who was calling. _

_Edward. _

_I couldn't put this off any longer. Delaying the inevitable would only hurt more. _

_With a deep sigh, I opened phone and held it to my ear, "Hello?"_

"_Hi Bella," he said sweetly, "Is everything okay? I thought we were going to talk tonight. I've been waiting for your call. It sounded like it was something important."_

"_Yeah, it is." Little did he know what I wanted to say had changed in the last couple of hours. "I don't know where to start," I said as calmly as possible trying to keep the tears at bay. "This thing between us has to end."_

_He sighed on the other end of the phone, "Bella, sweetheart, what's going on? You sound so sad. Did something happen?" _

"_Edward, everything is the same as it was yesterday. It's the same as it been for a while." As the words came out, the realization of their truth hit me hard. It had been the same for a while, I was just more aware of it now._

"_Bella, we talked about this in Europe. We knew it would be hard, but I don't want to lose you."_

"_No Edward. It's not fair to either of us to keep trying to make this work when we both know that it's futile." _

"_Futile? What? Bella, I don't understand," he said, his voice escalating_

"_Edward, please don't make this any harder than it already is," I implored as the tears fell from my cheeks._

"_Bella, is this really what you want? You don't want me?" he asked with a hint of sadness in his voice that pissed me off. Why should he care if he has moved on? It seemed like he just wanted to have his cake and eat it too. It didn't matter anymore what Edward wanted._

_I had to make a clean break._

"_No, this isn't what I want," I said a forcefully. "What I want is for us to be living in the same city, for you to want only me, and to be able to be together like a normal couple. But that isn't the reality of the situation. I want to accept that and move on"_

_Like you so obviously have, I thought to myself._

"_Bella, please," he begged, "Can't we just talk this through? What's changed?"_

"_Nothing…Everything…Look, this was a hard decision for me to make. It's not one I made lightly either. But things have become painfully clear to me today; I can't go on like this. Goodbye Edward." I slowly closed the phone and threw it on the bed next to me, as I fell back onto the pillow. My sobs were desperate as I curled up into a fetal position on the bed._

_That was it. My perfect Edward was gone from my life. Nothing but a memory. _

_I changed my ticket and flew home the next day. All that day and for several days following that, I received multiple calls from Edward, begging me to call him back, but I couldn't do it. He needed to be free to move on and I needed to forget the pain. _

My morbid curiosity got the best of me as I stared at the picture of them together. Who was she? They looked so happy.

Edward had been tight lipped about his dating past, not that I had a burning desire to hear about it prior to this moment. I trusted Edward completely. I believed he would be faithful to me and he hadn't given me any reason to question him. We were finally together in every sense of the word. But there was something about seeing them together that still haunted me.

Tanya walked into the room just then and upon seeing me looking at her pictures, walked over to me with a smile on her face. At least she wasn't upset about me touching her stuff.

"Oh, I see you've found some of my photos. Which one are you looking at?" she asked me as she glanced down at the photo in my hand. "I love that one! We had so much fun that day." I tried to smile at her, but it might have come off as more of a grimace.

"Tanya, who is this girl with Edward?" I asked, pointing to the girl with the fire red hair.

"That's Victoria," she said matter-of-factly, almost as if she expected me to know who she was.

"Was she his girlfriend?" I asked, glancing down at the photo.

"You could say that. Everyone thought they'd get married. She and Edward dated for years. They met freshman year in college and moved out to Los Angeles together. They dated all through his medical school. Given how long they were together, I'm surprised he never said anything about her to you."

_They dated through medical school?_

I was sure that the shock registered on my face as the tears welled up in my eyes. If she had moved out to Los Angeles with him before he started medical school and I had seen them together after we got back from Europe, then that meant that he had a girlfriend when we met, a very serious girlfriend.

My body went numb, and I felt my knees go weak. _Oh God! _My fondest memories. Memories of a time in my life when I was the happiest I had ever been. Memories of falling in love. It had seemed like a fairy tale it was so perfect. At least to me it was. Did I imagine it all? I must have, because everything was a lie. Our time together in Europe had been the most amazing memories I had and it was all a lie. Everything. All the feelings we shared were based on deception.

Did he even care for me? Did our time together mean anything to him? Was it just a fling abroad?

It was no wonder that he had kept quiet about his dating history. What would he say? He couldn't very well admit that he had been cheating on his long time, live-in girlfriend when we'd met.

_Oh god! He cheated on her, with me. I'm the 'other woman!' _

After what Jake did to me, I would NEVER willingly do that to another person.

_Was anything he told me true? Ever?_

Tanya looked smug as she looked at me, handing me a cocktail napkin to dry my eyes. "I shouldn't have been the one to tell you about her. He should have said something."

_No shit, Tanya._

"You know, Bella, I love Edward," Tanya started again, "He's like a brother to me, but dating him is a different story."

"What do you mean?" I asked, dabbing my eyes with the napkin.

"Well, he's secretive for one thing. For another thing, he's got women falling all over him all the time. I mean, have you been to the hospital and seen all the women drooling over him?" She shook her head as she sipped her drink. "I couldn't do it. I don't know how you deal with it."

I had never been the jealous type, but suddenly all my insecurities were coming to the surface. Anyone with eyes could see how gorgeous Edward was. I knew other women found him attractive, I even told him so that day in my studio. However, it had never really bothered me before. I felt secure and safe with him, but all of the sudden I didn't.

I'd never given much credence to the idea that he would cheat on me. It honestly never occurred to me because honesty and loyalty were both so much a part of who he was. He wouldn't even date me because I'd briefly dated Jasper, yet he had a girlfriend the entire time we were in Europe? Maybe his honesty and loyalty was only to his friends and didn't extend to me. Like that stupid expression... 'bros over hos.'

Early on he had been more considerate and caring about Jasper's feelings than mine. Everything I had ever felt sure about was now in question. I thought I knew him so well. I thought what we had was special, now I wasn't so sure. Were there other women at the hospital?

It was clear that Tanya thought so.

Just then, I saw Edward approach us and I tried to collect my thoughts. I confronted him about her and carefully gauged his expression, looking for signs of his deception.

He looked visibly shaken seeing the picture and that was all the proof I needed. He had hoped that I'd never find out about her. He even admitted that she was his girlfriend when we were together in Europe, trying to skirt around the issue. I could overlook it when I thought he needed to move on. I didn't expect him to remain faithful after we were back in the states and so far away. But knowing he had cheated on his girlfriend with ME made me livid. I wondered how long he had intended to string us both along.

I couldn't listen to him any longer. I felt like I might explode if I stayed there. I became incredibly aware of others looking on at our exchange. I felt like I was on stage naked and everyone was laughing and pointing at me. I couldn't have cared less about them though. I was numb as I worked my way through the crowd to find Alice. I had to get out of there. I could see Edward following me with concern all over his face, but I couldn't deal with him. I didn't think I could control myself if I confronted him tonight and I didn't want to say anything I'd regret. I needed to be by myself. I needed to sort through this before dealing with everything.

Alice drove me home and made me a cup of tea as I sat with my head down at the kitchen table.

"Bella, what happened?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Do you remember when we went to LA and I was going to surprise Edward?" I asked in a nasal voice, lifting my head to look at her.

"Yeah, it was horrible, if I remember correctly," she said, nodding as she handed me the steaming mug of tea.

"Well, it turns out that the girl I saw him with was his girlfriend of several years. They moved to LA together and had dated since freshman year." Just hearing the story again made me want to vomit.

Alice looked shocked, "Then why did he get together with you in the first place and call you all the time?"

I pointed at her as if she'd hit the nail on the head, "That's exactly what I'd like to know." I ran my hand through my hair, "Oh God, Alice, I feel like such a fool. Everyone knew: Emmett, Jasper, Tanya. No one ever said anything to me. They looked at me everyday and never said a word."

"I don't know what to say, Bella. You should get some sleep tonight and talk to Edward tomorrow. Maybe there's a simple explanation for all of this."

I loved Alice and her optimism, but I didn't see how this could turn out any differently.

I finished my tea as Alice sat quietly with me, attempting to comfort me. My head hurt from all the tears and I decided it was time for bed. As much as I wanted to call Edward and hear what he had to say, I knew that I needed time to think things through.

My phone chirped and I looked and saw a text from Edward.

_Can we please talk tomorrow?~E_

_I don't know, Edward. Not sure what to say~B_

_There's a lot to say. Please.~E_

_I have a lot to think about. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk.~B_

_I love you, Bella. Please tell me that I didn't lose you.~E_

_Let's talk later.~B_

My mind raced with thoughts of our time together in Europe; all the things we did and the places we saw; the stories we shared when getting to know each other. That trip was the foundation of everything we had today. It had seemed so genuine and real. I tried to remember if there were any indications back then that he was lying to me and I couldn't think of anything. How could everything have been based on deception and lies? What else wasn't he telling me or sharing with me?

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**A/N: *ducks* Sorry for the angst guys, but it needed to happen. Things need to be out in the open with these two and they need to learn how to communicate. To make you feel better, I am planning to post the next chapter this weekend, so you won't have to wait long. Shoot me a review for a teaser.**


	27. Chapter 26 Crossroads

**A/N: As promised, here's the next chapter. Let's see how Edward deals with this...**

**I really struggled with the format of this one and my betas worked tirelessly with me. It was a monster! Many thanks to TwiHart and scsquared. Also, thanks to Sunfeathers for her lightening fast pre-reading! **

**I own nothing. **

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**Chapter 26:**

**October 2009- Seattle**

**EPOV**

I closed my phone after Bella's last text message and threw it on the bed next to me. At least she agreed to talk to me at some point. I felt confident that I could set the record straight if I could just talk to her. The waiting was the hard part.

Bella didn't know all the facts and I was terrified that she was going to make a decision without knowing the truth about everything. So I sat down at my desk and did the same thing I'd done for the past five years. I wrote. Whenever there was anything important going on in my life or when there was something I wanted to share, I'd always written to Bella. The words flowed from my mind to my hand as I wrote everything I should have told her long before.

Once I got everything I needed to say on paper, I lay my head on the pillow. I knew that I was too fucking upset to sleep. Just when things were going well between Bella and me, she had to find out about Victoria- and not from me, which only made it a thousand times worse. I'd never forget the hurt look on her face at the party. It was even worse because I was the one who put it there. I caused that pain.

I was pissed at Tanya. She was supposed to be my friend and yet it seemed like she had gone out of her way to sabotage us. I knew that she didn't like me dating Bella, but she was way out of line. I didn't want to think my friend could be such a bitch. I didn't want to think about her at all.

I needed to focus on making things right with Bella.

The next morning, I sat on the couch flipping through the TV channels mindlessly and pacing the floor. I had nervous energy. I couldn't wait to get to Bella's and put this whole mess behind us.

I showered, got dressed, grabbed the box and was at Bella's door as soon as I thought it was a reasonable hour. My palms were sweating and my hands were slightly shaking. I felt like I was facing a jury for my life.

The door opened and Alice stood, glaring at me, "Well, hello Edward," she said in a bitchy tone. "Come to spout more lies?"

I was nervous enough and didn't need Alice making things harder than they already were. But I knew she was just trying to protect Bella. I would do the same if I were in her shoes. I tried not to lash out at her for that reason, even though I really wanted to in hopes of relieving some of my own frustration over the situation.

With a deep sigh, I extended my hands and handed her the box, "Alice, could you please give this to Bella. I know she's not ready to talk to me yet, but I really want her to have this. I think it will help."

"Help with what, Edward? Help her to believe your lies? I can't believe you did this to her." Her voice was so loud it made me shiver.

_Damn, how does someone so tiny sound so fucking loud?_

"Alice, I'm not sure exactly what Tanya told Bella, so I don't know what she's thinking and she won't talk to me yet. But there are things she needs to know. Things I should have told her a long time ago. There are things I want to be able to explain to her. I understand that you're trying to protect her right now, but please, Alice, please just give this to her."

"What's going on?" I heard Bella say as she walked towards the door. "Edward? What are you doing here?" she asked with a sad but very annoyed look on her face. "I would have called you later."

"I know. I don't want to bother you, I just came to give you this," I said shakily as I handed her the tattered shoebox, the letter from last night carefully taped to the top.

She sighed, hesitantly taking the box from me. It fucking hurt like hell to see her so sad and all I wanted to do was grab her and hold her tightly to me and tell her it was all going to be alright; that I would do anything to make it alright. I wanted to tell her a thousand times how sorry I was for causing her pain, but before I could she said, "I think you should leave."

"I am leaving but Bella please don't throw away what we have over this. I promise you, it's not what you think."

"Goodbye Edward," Bella said abruptly as she closed the door.

_Fuck!_

I shoved my hands in my pockets and walked out, feeling completely helpless.

_Fuck!_

I returned to my apartment feeling exhausted and shattered by the last 24 hours. I contemplated going into the hospital to do some work even though I wasn't scheduled but decided against it. It was always a really good distraction for me, but I couldn't take the chance that Bella might call and want to talk and I'd be stuck in an emergency at work.

So, I went home. Emmett was leaning on the counter eating a bowl of cereal, reading the newspaper.

"Dude, you look like shit," he said with his mouth full.

'Thanks, Em," I said sarcastically.

Emmett set down his cereal walked clumsily out of the room patting me on the shoulder, "She'll come around, bro. She may take a little while, but I know she'll realize how much you love her. Besides, we all know how persuasive you can be when you want to be. Hell, you persuaded me to move from Chicago to LA and then from LA to Seattle. Thank god you did too, or else I wouldn't have met Rose." I knew he was trying to make me feel better.

"Thanks." He obviously understood how hard the night had been for me.

Emmett left to go see Rose late in the afternoon and I wished I could go with him to see Bella, despite knowing that she needed time. I mentally calculated what she was doing. Would she read the letters right away? Would she call me?

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, which wasn't surprising after my horrendous sleep the night before.

The sound of the doorbell startled me awake. I was disoriented and had no idea what time it was.

_What the fuck?_

Rubbing my hands on my face, I padded over to the door, pulling it open slowly as I got my bearings.

"Bella," I sighed as I saw her beautiful, yet tear-streaked face staring back at me.

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**BPOV**

I closed the door to my room, having just left Edward at the door and slumped down on the bed. It would be so easy to just jump in his arms and forget everything. That was what my body was screaming for and what my heart was screaming for, but I couldn't. My head, however, was confused and still didn't know what was real, what to believe.

I could still see them together. I still felt the pain I felt all those years ago, knowing that he had someone else. He said at the door that it wasn't what I thought, but I saw it.

Alice knocked on the door and peeked her head in, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Come on in, Alice." I waved her into the room and she came over and sat next to me on the bed.

"What did he say?" she asked sweetly.

"He gave me this," I said, pointing to the box next to me on the bed, "and told me that things with Victoria weren't what I thought they were."

"Do you believe him?" Alice asked.

"I don't know. I honestly don't. My heart is telling me to believe him, but my head is confused by what it already knows. I want to believe him. One minute with Edward I'm having the time of my life and so sure that I can't live without him. The next minute I doubt everything. It has always been that way with us. I don't think I can walk away but I'm not sure I can survive it."

She gave me a huge hug and told me that she knew I'd make the right decision and she would support whatever I decide. She said I should trust my instincts and what I knew about him.

_I'm glad one of us is confident._

I decided to go for a run, which always cleared my head. Each pounding step on the concrete brought another thought of Edward, another memory. I thought about how we have made love just hours before the party and how quickly I'd gone from feeling confident and loved to feeling insecure and doubtful. I hated feeling that way. I never thought I would feel that way again, yet here I was.

I wanted with everything I had to believe him. Edward had looked sincere when he told me about Victoria, yet I knew what I had seen. I was insanely jealous of the woman who had held his heart so many years before. And then I thought about Tanya and what she had said about all the women at the hospital and I was dying inside.

What if this was the way he really was? I mean, Tanya had been his friend for years and she said that she wouldn't want to date him. What did I really know about him? We'd had a great time in Europe, but that could have just been a fling. Sure, we'd had a great couple of months recently, but I was beginning to doubt everything that I thought was real.

By the time I'd gotten home and showered, it was late in the afternoon and I decided that it was 5:00 somewhere, so I poured myself a glass of wine or two.

I heard the front door open and Emmett's loud voice bellowing, "Hello, anyone home?"

"Come on in, Emmett. Rosalie's still getting ready, but you can come hang with me in the meantime," I yelled from the kitchen.

He walked around the corner and glanced down at the box that I had set on the kitchen table. Maybe I'd get the nerve to open it. The wine might help.

"Edward finally gave you those letters, huh?" Emmett said, motioning to the box.

"Is that what's in the box?" I was trying not to get upset again.

He nodded. "You know, Bella," Emmett started, "it's none of my business, but I'll tell you something. My brother loves you and has ever since he met you."

I shook my head and took a sip of wine, "Thanks Emmett, but I really don't think I am ready to talk about it."

He didn't listen and continued, "I knew Victoria almost as long as Edward did. They were always better friends than anything else. I think they were together because it was easy. I don't think either one of them thought about it much. It wasn't like it is with you. My brother is a different man when he's with you. Not to sound like a chick or anything, but it's true."

God, I wanted to believe him.

"I'm not going to lecture you, Bella. But, just give him a chance, okay?"

Just then, Rosalie emerged from the room, effectively ending our conversation.

Emmett ogled her as she walked up to us and I had a momentary surge of envy at their happiness.

Rose hugged me and Emmett gave me a one-arm, one-shouldered brotherly squeeze as they left for their date.

Alice had long since left the house to hang out with Jasper and so I found myself alone with my thoughts and the box. I just sat there for a few minutes staring at it.

I finally grabbed it, filled up my wine and sat down on the couch. I pulled off the letter that was taped to the top, my hands shaking as I opened it.

_Dear Bella,_

_I know you're hurting right now and that thought alone brings me to my knees. There is nothing I wouldn't do to shield you from harm or pain. To know that you are suffering because of me makes me almost insane with self-loathing. So much of what you are going through could have been avoided a long time ago. If only I was more honest with you five years ago, you would know without a doubt how much I love you, how you have always been the only one for me. I know you need time to think, but you should have all of the facts while doing so._

_You are very upset about Victoria, but I assure you that there is nothing to be upset about. Yes, Victoria and I dated years ago. She did move out to LA with me when I started medical school. We were always very close friends and at the time of the move we were in a relationship. But, when I was in Europe we were over. She was staying with me while she found a new apartment that she could afford, but our "relationship" had long since ended even though our friendship remained. _

_When I returned from Europe she and I had a long talk about everything. I told her about my trip, about meeting you and our travels. Knowing me as well as she did she told me what I already knew, but had yet to put into words. She told me I was in love with you._

_That is my biggest regret, Bella. I regret not telling you exactly how I felt about you. I fell in love with you five years ago. If I am completely honest, it was probably the first night I saw you in the pub. You astounded me, you mesmerized me with your deep chocolate brown eyes, and you captured my heart and my soul with each word you spoke. I have never felt closer to another person, ever. I was so afraid to tell you how I felt. I was afraid that it was too soon, too much, and that you would think me crazy. I loved you even when we were separated. I never stopped loving you, or hoping that we would one day find our way back to one another._

_During our separation, there were so many things I wanted to tell you, to share with you. I'm sharing them with you now. I hope it's not too late. Enclosed in this box are letters I wrote you over the years. I hope they help you understand what happened and I hope more than anything that they lead you back to me. _

_I love you more than anything. When you're ready to talk, I'll be waiting._

_All My Love,_

_Edward_

Tears had once again begun to freely cascade down my cheeks. I carefully folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, still not knowing what to think or believe. Edward had always known exactly what to say to make me feel better and this letter was no different. His words were perfect and beautiful, as they always have been. But were they real? Nervously, I opened up the box to see stacks of letters. All of them were addressed to me, but none had a postmark. The later letters no longer had an address, just my name printed on the front in his elegant penmanship.

Pulling them from their envelopes, I put them in chronological order and began reading. Why hadn't he mailed these? Why write them to begin with if he didn't want me to get them?

_June 2003_

_Dear Bella,_

_I've just put you on the train and watched you disappear from sight. I'm sitting here on a bench in Paris missing you already. How could I have let you go? I think I'll regret it more than anything I've ever done. My chest feels tight in your absence. I'm having difficulty breathing, not knowing when I will see you again. I want more than anything to hold you in my arms again._

There on the pages were all of the words from his heart that he'd never told me. This sounded like the wonderful man that I believed in. I frantically read on. Each letter was a piece of a puzzle.

_June 2003_

_Dear Bella, _

_There is something that I should have told you about when we were together in Paris. I regret that I didn't, but I was so worried that you'd decide not to be with me. _

_I didn't plan on meeting anyone like you. At the time of our trip, back in Los Angeles, there was a woman named Victoria living in my apartment with me. She and I used to date and I guess technically, we'd never officially broken things off. She moved with me from Chicago, and I've been letting her stay here until she finds something else._

_I'm only telling you this so you know that I don't want to be with anyone except you and I haven't been. I don't want to lie to you. When I got back from Paris, she and I talked a lot. I told her all about my trip, about meeting you. She said she had never seen me so happy before. Being my friend above all else, she was genuinely happy for me, for us. I told her that I wanted you to come visit, but I didn't feel right doing so with her still living in my apartment. She understood and agreed to move out as soon as possible. _

_She's gone now, Bella, and I can be free to have you come visit without worrying that you'll get the wrong idea. _

_I'm rambling now. I want you to know everything that's happened. _

I clutched the letter to my chest, crumpling the paper as I sighed. Reading the words was becoming more difficult as the tears kept coming.

_Need more wine and tissues._

I read each letter and scrutinized his words. They all contained his thoughts that I'd wanted to hear from him for so long. He talked about how the distance was affecting him and how worried he was that I would find someone else before he could move up to Seattle and be with me.

_December 2003_

_Dear Bella,_

_It's pretty clear to me now that you have no intention of returning my calls or talking to me again. I wish I knew what happened. I wish I knew what changed. I can't stand not talking to you and hearing your voice. I hate knowing that the woman I love is somewhere out there but not with me. Even though we've never been in the same town for more than two weeks I feel like a huge part of me is missing._

_I love you, Bella. I should have told you that while we were in Paris. Now I'm worried that I'll never get a chance to tell you. I promise you, Bella, I will always love you._

Tears streamed down my face as I read page after page. There were so many letters. They were sporadic at times and consistent in other times. Some were heartfelt and deep and others were light and funny. Yet, they all contained his words, his insecurities, his feelings.

The last one was dated right about the time he'd moved to Seattle.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm packing to come to Seattle. I know there's little hope of us being together again, but there's some comfort in knowing that you'll be in the same city. _

_I feel like an idiot moving to a strange city, but I'm not ready to give up on you yet. I know I should, but I can't. _

_I'm going to find you, Bella. And when I do, I'm going to love you for as long as you'll let me. _

I downed the rest of my wine and wiped the tears off my cheeks. I was done with my pity party. Edward had bared his soul to me in those letters. Had I done the same? Had I given him all of myself like he had given me?

I suddenly felt very selfish. Despite the fact that he'd never mailed these letters, he kept them. And gave them to me. . He put everything on the line to be with me. He'd moved here after five years of not talking to me, risking it all for me.

And what had I done for him? I'd taken a moment in time, passed judgment on him and decided his fate for him, without even talking to him about it. I was a fool and a selfish one at that.

But, there was something I could still do.

I was on pins and needles the entire drive. After all that he had revealed to me, it was time that I return the favor. I just hoped I could do it without falling apart.

He opened the door with a sigh, "Bella," he said, looking slightly disheveled and confused.

I knew right then that I had made the right choice.

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**EPOV**

Bella stood there in the doorway and I wanted nothing more than to grab her and pull her into my arms.

I stifled a sob as all the emotions of the past day came to the surface. "Hi."

"I wanted to return these to you," she said handing me the box of letters.

_Did she read them?_

"Can I come in?" she asked nervously.

I took the box and moved aside for her to come in. I watched her walk into my apartment, the sense of dread filling me. Her tear streaked face and slightly swollen eyes were not a good indicator, were they?

She sat on the couch and I sat in the adjacent chair. I knew if I sat next to her, I wouldn't be able to not touch her. So I sat in the chair with my elbows on my knees and my hands held tightly together, "I'm happy to see you, Bella."

She wouldn't make eye contact with me and the fear was taking over my already stricken heart. "Edward, I don't even know where to start," she said softly, as she picked at the hem of her shirt. "I wish you would have told me about Victoria when we were in Europe."

"Bella, I never meant for things to get this messed up," I confessed. "I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid that you'd read more into our relationship than was really there."

Bella shook her head and still wouldn't make eye contact with me, "She was your girlfriend at some point, Edward, and you were still living together."

"Things were over, Bella," I said, suddenly feeling frustrated again over the situation and my own stupidity for not dealing with this when I should have. I was no saint, but it wasn't like things with Victoria were perfect. "I didn't handle things with Victoria the way I should have, but I didn't want to kick her to the curb before she had a place to go. Can you understand that?"

"Yes. I can," she said, the tears welling up in her eyes as she made eye contact with me for the first time since sitting down. "I've been a mess since all of this happened, as you no doubt know. I understand what happened between you and Victoria and I think it was decent of you to be so concerned about her." She cast her eyes down again but not before I saw the pain emanate from them.

"Bella, I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry," I pleaded.

"Please, let me finish. I read your letters. Why didn't you send them back then?" She looked up at me and all I wanted to do was make all of her pain disappear. I would take it all on myself if it would make hers go away.

"I was afraid," I admitted. "I didn't know how it was possible to feel what I was feeling in such a short time and I was worried that you might not feel as strongly about me. I worried that if I told you, I would scare you off. I was stupid."

"Edward, I realized something today. Even amid all our turmoil, you are all I want. You are all I've ever wanted since that first night in the pub. I've spent the last five years trying to get over you because of a snap judgment about you that caused me to cut you out of my life." I felt the dread lessen as she said those words and before I knew it, I moved from the chair to the seat next to her.

"I know we said it didn't matter, but will you tell me what happened back then?" I asked, inching a little closer to her, grabbing her hands that were in her lap. "Please, Bella?"

She told me about her trip to LA and about seeing Victoria and me, and I finally understood why she was so upset. We'd wasted so much time being angry, sad and apart. Time wasted because neither of us would open up and share what was important, our feelings. We both made decisions for the other without involving each other in the process.

I scooted even closer to her as she began talking again, "When I read your letters, I just got more and more pissed off, at myself, at you…"she pulled her hand away to wipe a tear that had fallen onto her cheek. "I'm done feeling like that Edward. There's been too much pain and uncertainty. I can't do that anymore."

_Please don't say that._

"Bella, please…" I couldn't even finish my sentence as I stifled a sob. I felt like my chest was caving in on me and my stomach was in knots. Was she breaking up with me? The possibility of it made me feel sick.

"Last night was one of the worst nights of my life, Edward. So many thoughts ran through my head. Tanya made it seem like you had women falling all over you and that you couldn't be trusted. I started doubting what was real and what was an act. I didn't know what to think."

_Oh God, she's really doing this._

"Bella, you know me. You know me better than anyone else. I would never cheat on you. Tanya's just jealous. I swear…" She gently put her hand up to my mouth to stop me from talking, so I reluctantly shut up and waited for her to finish.

"I know that, Edward. I've done a lot of thinking in the past 24 hours. Reading your letters opened my eyes to a lot of things that have gone unspoken for too long between us. It's been the unspoken things that have caused all of our troubles. I'm not willing to spend any more time being angry over the past. We were both young and we both made poor decisions back then that only served to hurt us more. I'm done living in the past. I'm going to put my trust in the here and now. And that's with you."

I felt a high wave of relief come over me and I exhaled sharply, "God Bella, I love you." I leaned in, resting my hands on her cheeks and kissed her gently, tasting the salty flavor of her tears. "I will never hurt you again."

"You know, it took all of this to make me realize that I already know that. I know you won't hurt me."

I pulled her into the tightest hug I could manage. I would never let her go again.

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**A/N: So there you have it. What did you think? I know some of you would probably not have forgiven Edward, but he's not perfect. I wanted to paint the picture of someone just like the rest of us. Someone who makes bad decisions on occasion and has to live with them. **

**I'm dying to know your thoughts, so please shoot me a review and I'll send a teaser for the next chapter.**

**Speaking of the next chapter, it will be the last one and then I'll post an epilogue. I'm feeling sad about this ending. But, your reviews will cheer me up! :)**


	28. Chapter 27 Promises

**A/N: See my note at the end of the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 27:**

November 2009- Seattle BPOV

Where are we going? I asked as Edward took my suitcase and put it in the trunk of his car.

"It's a surprise, I told you," he said with a smirk. We both clicked the seatbelts and then he sped away from his apartment. I hate surprises, but I learned that Edward's were usually worth the wait.

We pulled up to the ferry terminal and I got very excited. I turned in my seat to face him, "Okay, we're getting on a boat, you have to tell me where we're going." I flashed him my flirtiest smile to convince him.

"Well, I guess you'd have figured it out sooner or later. We're going to Victoria."

I squealed and gave Edward a huge hug. "Don't you think it's a bit ironic that you're taking me to a place named Victoria?" I chuckled lightly. "I mean with all that's happened?"

"Touché, Bella." He laughed and kissed my forehead. "I didn't even think about that."

"What's the occasion?" I asked, beaming from ear to ear. "Not that I mind a spontaneous trip, but it just seems like you went to a lot of trouble."

He gave a tentative smile and said, "Do you remember that patient that I was telling you about who's been touch and go for a couple of weeks now?"

I nodded.

"Well, he died from surgery complications two days ago. His death really bothered me because he was so young. It didn't seem right. I don't want to take anything for granted."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm sure it's so hard to lose a patient that you've cared for." I squeezed his hand and he pulled it up to his mouth and gave me a soft kiss.

"So, there's no special occasion. It's just that we've both been working really hard and I felt like we needed a getaway."

It was true. We'd been ridiculously busy all month. He had been working almost every day and I could see in his eyes that he was completely exhausted, not to mention sad. My art had been very well received at the art show and I was busy with special orders.

It seemed like so much time had passed since the show, when in reality it had only been a little over a month. Edward and I had certainly been through a lot with the whole Tanya/Victoria debacle, but we'd come out of it stronger. Since then, we'd been communicating much better than before. We both realized that we needed to talk about things before passing judgment or jumping to conclusions because that had only hurt us in the past. Despite how horrible it had been, I was glad that it happened. It changed things for the better for us and I was more confident than ever that our relationship would thrive.

Edward confronted Tanya about all the bullshit she told me, but she naturally denied it. I didn't want to come in between Edward and his friends but he was so upset with her after that whole thing that they hadn't really talked much.

The ferry ride was long, but incredibly beautiful. The cool air blew gently off the water and Edward snuggled against me as we leaned against the railing taking in the scenery. I'd heard so many great things about Victoria, but I'd never been there. It was supposed to be quaint and picturesque.

Edward had arranged for us to stay at a gorgeous five-star lodge, located in Brentwood Bay just outside of Victoria. It was new with modern, luminous décor that really brought the beauty of the outside in. It was built into a slope of land that ran all the way down to the water. All of the common areas had floor to ceiling windows, showing off the incredible view. It was the off-season, so the lodge was fairly empty and I felt like the entire place was ours.

Edward checked in and led us up to a gorgeous room that overlooked the bay. The linens on the bed were a crisp white set against a contrasting dark wood headboard. The room, like the lobby downstairs, had floor to ceiling windows and the tall trees right outside provided a colorful backdrop. It had a large en-suite bathroom with Travertine tiles with sub-floor radiant heat to keep the chill off in the cold mornings. There was a large walk-in shower that I made a mental note to check out as soon as we were settled.

"Not bad, huh?" Edward said as he came up behind me in the bathroom. "I like the shower."

I turned and laughed at the naughty smirk on his face, knowing that he'd had the same idea that I did.

I continued my inspection of the room, ending up at the balcony door. I slid it open and stepped outside, shivering as the cold fall air hit my face.

"I love the way it smells here. It's so fresh and clean," I called into the room at Edward, who was unpacking his clothes. He joined me on the balcony, slipping his arms around my waist.

"It does smell nice," he hummed, resting his chin on my shoulder, "but you smell better."

We finished our unpacking then set out exploring the area. There were trails along the water and we must have walked for several miles, stopping to notice crabs or the huge starfish that lingered just below the surface of the water. It was cold, but clear and the walk was very refreshing, especially after being stuck on the ferry.

We reached a dock with a small restaurant at the end and decided to have a drink. We easily secured a table right along the window so we could enjoy the serenity of the afternoon. Brilliant crystals of light glimmered off the water as we sipped our wine and talked.

"How did you find this place, Edward?" I asked. "I mean, it's so beautiful but it's kind of hidden."

"A guy I work with came here last year and was telling me about it. It sounded like a perfect spot."

"Hmmm, it is," I said, as I grabbed his hands across the table.

We finished our drinks and began the walk back to the hotel. Time had gotten away from us and it was nearly sunset. The air grew colder as the colors of dusk settled on the water. I walked behind Edward and as we turned a corner, he stopped suddenly.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking around.

"Nothing," he said, "It's just so pretty, isn't it?"

The trail had taken us to the top of a small cliff, with a view of the entire bay and all the small islands spotted around. The dense trees went all the way to the water and it was so quiet you could hear the birds calling from high amongst them.

I smiled as I checked out the view and when I turned around, I was overwhelmed by the sight of Edward on his knee in front of me.

_Oh my God!_

"Bella," he said with a wide smile on his face, "May I have your hand?"

I was shaking visibly as I slid my left hand into his. He held it tightly, rubbing the back with his thumb and gazed into my eyes.

"I was going to do this tomorrow at dinner, but I couldn't wait any longer. My patient taught me the importance of living each day to the fullest." He looked really nervous, but so adorable. I couldn't believe this was happening to me.

"Five years ago, I went on a trip that was life-changing for many reasons. I traveled to amazing places, saw amazing things, and it led me to you. I had no idea when I went into that pub in London that I would meet the love of my life."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I listened to his sweet memories.

"We've been through so much together and through it all, one thing has always been true, I love you, Bella Swan. I always will."

Emotions and memories washed over me and the tears poured down my cheeks as I tried to maintain composure.

"When I think of my future, it's always with you. When I think of a family, I think of one with you. When I think about growing old, I picture it with you. It's always you. So, as we were walking tonight, I decided that I wanted my future to start right now, not tomorrow."

He briefly let go of my hand as I stood there in awe of his words and reached into his jacket pocket, procuring a small, black velvet box. The nervous look on his face was trumped by his sweet smile as he opened it, revealing a gorgeous diamond solitaire ring, set in platinum. It was beautiful and understated, everything I'd ever want.

"Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?" He gazed into my tear-streaked eyes with a look that I'd never seen before as he slipped the ring onto my finger. I knew without a doubt that he'd take care of me and love me and I him.

I launched myself into his arms, knocking him off his knees to the ground as I kissed him with everything I had. He sighed and hugged me back, laughing at the fact that we were rolling around on a dirt trail.

I realized that I hadn't answered him. I pulled back slightly, smiling through my tears as I said, "Yes, I'll marry you. I'll be honored to be your wife."

_Wife._

Saying it out loud made it real and I could tell by his reaction that it had the same affect on him.

"I'll make you happy, Bella. I promise." Edward kissed my cheek and neck, wiping away the tears.

"You already have," I sighed.

We both sat up, and he held me as the sun sank over the horizon. I glanced down at the ring and the promise that it held and felt truly at peace.

The temperature had dropped enough to notice the cold through the bliss. He stood, extending his hand to help me up, and we walked the rest of the way back to the lodge hand in hand. We didn't say much on the way back, each of us wrapped up in the moment.

When we got to our room, we both began shedding our layers, enjoying the warmth of being inside.

"I'm going to hop in the shower," I told Edward over my shoulder as I walked to the bathroom.

I heard a loud pop and turned to see Edward walking into the room with two champagne glasses filled with bubbly.

"I thought it was an appropriate time for a toast," he said playfully as he handed me the glass.

He grabbed my left hand, grasping onto the ring on my fourth finger as he lifted his glass, "Here's to me for finally getting up the nerve to ask you," he said as I chuckled. "Here's to you for making me the happiest man alive. And here's to us for persevering when everything was stacked against us."

"I love you so much, Edward." Our glasses clinked and we sipped the champagne, our eyes never straying from each other.

He grabbed the glass out of my hand and set it on the counter, as a devilish grin crossed his face. "Now, about that shower you were planning on taking....Would my gorgeous fiancé like some company?"

He stepped towards to the shower, turning the handle until the water was steaming, fogging up the glass.

I giggled playfully as he made quick work of my clothes, his hands gently brushing my skin. His soft touches became extremely erotic and I was desperate for him as I quickly helped him undress.

Once we were both naked, we stepped into the steamy shower, his hands roaming my body. My eyes followed the path of his hands as they ghosted my shoulders and arms. His face hovered right above mine and I wanted desperately to kiss him, but I could sense his hesitation. I let my hands slide down his sides to his hips and then lower, but he stopped me. "No, there'll be plenty of time for that, but right now I just want to love you."

I moved my hands to the small of his back and pulled him into a tight hug. His arms came around me and I felt completely enveloped by him, safe, home. His hands clutched at my back as his forehead came to rest on mine.

"Bella, I'm so happy." His words melted me. Simple, yet so powerful.

"I can't wait to be your wife," I replied.

"Hmmm, my wife. I like the sound of that." He kissed me gently and then reached for the shampoo, pouring it into his hand, and then slowly massaging it into my scalp.

The rest of the shower passed as if it was in slow motion. Each of us took turns tending to the needs of the other. There was nothing sexual, just the tender touches of his hands on my body. I'd never felt so cherished.

Steam completely filled the bathroom by the time we finally emerged. I donned the thick, white bathrobe that the hotel provided and threw my hair up in a towel.

Edward wrapped a towel around his waist, leaving me just enough of a glimpse of what was underneath to make me look forward to ravishing him. Although I had no idea about the proposal, I had done some shopping for the weekend and I had a few surprises for him when we got back from dinner.

I pulled the matching bra and panty set out of my bag, as well as the garter. I didn't usually wear stuff like that, so I knew that Edward would love it. I pulled on a grey sweater dress over my sexy lingerie and tall, black high heel boots. My hair was curled and flowed down gently over my shoulders; the way I knew Edward liked it.

He wore black pants and a caramel brown cashmere sweater. He looked amazing and I couldn't believe that this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

He escorted me out of the room and downstairs to the hotel restaurant. It was in the main building and had grand high ceilings and a wide-open feeling. The view and ambiance were stunning.

Our drinks were delivered and I couldn't help but stare down at my finger, shimmering with the reflection off the gorgeous diamond ring.

Noticing me, he reached over and grabbed my hands, as he smiled, "Do you like the ring?"

_Like it? Is he crazy?_

"You know me so well. It's exactly what I would have picked. It's perfect," I replied, looking lovingly into his eyes.

He looked like a kid who had just been given his parents' approval, beaming with pride. "I looked at a lot of them, but this one stood out to me."

I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed it gently, "I love it."

Our appetizer came and we enjoyed the fresh prawns that were likely caught only hours before.

"There's something that I've been meaning to ask you," I said, as I pulled the tail from a prawn.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I've been thinking about those letters you wrote me," I said casually.

His interest was clearly piqued, "Did you read them all?"

I nodded, "Of course. They were beautiful. Even though I gave them back to you, I'd like to read them again."

He picked up his wine glass, slowly taking a sip, "You liked them that much, huh?" he asked evenly.

"I just missed so much of your life during those five years, and although I don't want to live in the past, it's reassuring to know that you thought of me during that time. You never gave up on me. I don't know, it's like the letters remind me that I wasn't crazy for thinking of you and for never getting over you. In a way, it makes me feel like I was with you during that time. It's comforting."

He smiled widely and looked into my eyes, "I wrote them for you. They're yours. My only regret is that you had to wait so long to get them."

"Thank you, Edward," I said softly. "Not just for the letters, but for seeing what we could have, even when it didn't seem possible."

"Bella, I'd wait another five years if it meant I could have you. You're worth the wait."

We finished dinner and although were having a wonderful time together, I couldn't wait to get back to our room and show him what I had on underneath my dress. There was some unfinished business that needed tending to.

* * *

**EPOV**

Bella was flirty and excited all the way back to the room. She wouldn't tell me what she had planned, but I definitely had an idea of what I wanted for the rest of the night.

I pulled her into my arms the minute the door shut to our room and she kissed me gently in response, sighing as I held her in my arms.

"This feels nice," she hummed, giving me a squeeze, "but I've got bigger plans."

_That's my girl._

"Why don't you get undressed and wait for me on the bed," she said over her shoulder as she walked toward the bathroom, shaking her ass a little as she walked. "I'll be right back."

"You don't have to tell me twice," I laughed, already kicking off my shoes.

It couldn't have been more than five minutes until Bella emerged, still completely dressed, which confused me since I was sitting on the bed in only my boxers, per her instructions. I was expecting something sexy. She was holding two long white scarves in her hands, pulling them gently through her loose grip.

"Do you know what these are?" she asked with a smirk.

"They're scarves, aren't they?" I asked lamely.

"Yes, but do you know what they're for?" By this time, she was crawling onto the foot of the bed.

"No, but I'm guessing you'll tell me," I said grinning from ear to ear, hoping it was what I thought it was as I inched back toward the top of the bed.

"I want to have my way with you." She straddled me, revealing a garter belt underneath her dress and I became extremely interested in seeing what else she had on under there. She ran her hand down my arm and grabbed my wrist, "And I want you to stay put."

I had never seen this side of Bella but she never stopped surprising me in good ways. I really didn't deserve this beautiful temptress but I sure as hell wasn't going to stop her.

She carefully tied one of the scarves around my wrist and then pulled it to the headboard, securing it in place. She leaned over me in a way that positioned her breasts right in front of my face, so I leaned in and buried my nose in her chest. She leaned back, feigning indignation but I could see the sparkle in her eye.

"Uh, uh," she huffed, grabbing my other arm and securing it to the headboard as well. "You don't get to touch."

With the ties in place, she slid down my body and off the bed, turning around so her back faced me. She reached down to the hem of her dress and slowly began pulling it up, revealing her legs, then the garter, then the sexy panties she had on. I was already hard as a rock before she got off the bed, so this was making me actually start to ache. I shifted a little bit on the bed unsuccessfully seeking relief. Then she turned over her shoulder with a seductive look and said, "Uh-uh, you aren't going anywhere."

"You're beautiful. I want to touch you," I said, pulling at my wrists to no avail.

"Patience is a virtue Edward," she teased.

She continued with the dress, revealing the curves of her back and the lacy bra she wore. Finally she pulled the dress over her head, her back still facing me and I wanted to reach out and grab her. She shook her head to free her hair as she threw her head back, I swear, I almost came right then. The vision of my girl in lingerie, stripping for me while I was tied to the bed was almost more than I could handle.

"Bella," I moaned in a low guttural voice.

She didn't stop there. Bending at the waist, she slowly reached down and unzipped her boots, essentially baring her ass to me as she slid them off.

I was aching for her and had I not been tied up, I'd have been up off the bed in an instant.

She turned and climbed once again onto the bed, her knees on either side of me as she slowly crawled up my body, giving me a brief kiss once she reached my face.

"Do you like my surprise?" she asked, her lips just inches from mine.

_Jesus Christ._

"Mmmm, very much," was all I could say.

She sat up again, reached down to the waistband of my boxers and with a devilish grin on her face, lowered them down my legs, her fingers grazing my skin as she went down. She lowered her face and kissed my torso as her hands stayed fixed on my boxers. Her hair fell and tickled my stomach as she gently kissed lower and lower.

Once my boxers were removed, she started back up my body, letting her fingers barely touch my skin causing me to press up into her touch. I needed her hands on me and the small amount of contact she was giving me was teasing me mercilessly.

My breathing, now quite rapid and shallow, became audible as she passed over my hips with her mouth, dangerously close to where I wanted her. I whimpered a bit as she continued upward, finally straddling me.

While I was naked, there still the issue of her lingerie to deal with, not to mention the fact that I was tied up. I wanted to touch her, but it was exhilarating watching her take the lead.

All that separated us was the thin lace of her panties and I could feel her heat and dampness against my hips as she rubbed along the length of my cock.

I hissed as she moved on me, making me crazy with need to feel her, to be inside her. She closed her eyes and rested her hands on my chest as she ground herself into me. I tried to press into her, but I needed my hands.

"Untie me, Bella," I said in a low growl, the need in me reaching its peak.

She smiled, and obliged and my hands immediately went to her hips, pulling her into me with a loud groan. I slid my hand between us, slipping a finger beneath the delicate lace of her panties, sliding it toward her entrance. She was slick with arousal and gasped as I passed over her clit.

In one quick movement, I pushed her panties to the side and grabbed my cock with my free hand, thrusting into her sharply.

"Oh fuck," she yelled as she lifted slightly and then thrust back down on me. My fingers dug into her hips and held her panties aside as I guided her movements with a feral passion that I couldn't control.

She began to pant heavily, small whimpers escaping each time I penetrated her and I knew that she was close. I lowered my hand between us, my fingers resting gently against her clit and she swept her hips forward against my hands. I let her control the movement as she moved over my hand, bringing herself to orgasm as I continued thrusting into her.

Needing more, I flipped us over resting my weight on top of her, my hand used as support on the bed beside her face as I guided myself into her again. I leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I like your lingerie, but this need to go." I quickly pulled out of her just long enough to slide her panties down and quickly thrust back into her.

She chuckled slightly, still out of breath from her orgasm and wrapped her arms and legs around my body, clutching me tightly. I reached around with one hand and grabbed her ass, pulling me deeper into her.

"You rock my world, Bella," I sighed.

Our movements slowed, the frenzy from before reined in, and all that remained was the two of us loving and cherishing one another. What had started out as pure unbridled lust was ending as passionate love. I could have made love to Bella forever and never tired of it.

It thrilled me to no end thinking that I would actually have forever with her.

Our bodies moved in unison until she screamed out my name as she came again, pushing me over the edge with her.

I couldn't stop smiling as we cleaned up and got ready for bed. It was hard to believe that we were engaged. So much had happened between us that I knew that this was right. We belonged together. I knew that I would never love anyone the way I loved her. The last thing I remembered before falling asleep was Bella kissing me gently as she curled up against my side and I slept more soundly than I could ever remember.

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**A/N: So, what did you think of the proposal? I'll be posting the epilogue this week. I'm so grateful for my readers. It's not always easy to write and you guys keep me going. Thanks so much for going on this journey with me.**

**The link to the resort that they stayed at in Victoria is on my profile. It's gorgeous. I'll also post them on Twilighted.**

**Please let me know what you thought of the story. I'd really love your feedback, even if you've never commented before.**

**My betas have worked so hard with me and I can't thank them enough. Also, thanks to Sunfeathers for the beta work this chapter and pre-reading for me.**

**Shameless whoring: Please check out my entry in the FML contest called "So, How'd You Two Meet?". Voting starts 2/25 and I could really use your support! Thanks. Link is in my profile!**


	29. Epilogue Memories

**I'm going to save my sappy A/N for the end of the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

**Epilogue:**

**June 2013- Seattle**

**BPOV**

"Bella, hurry up or we'll miss our flight," I heard Edward yell from the bottom of the stairs as I frantically threw the rest of my clothes into the over-stuffed suitcase.

"Coming!" I yelled back. I hated being late.

_Shit!_

Edward walked into the room and chuckled at my state of disarray. "Let me get the suitcase, you need to go talk to Alice downstairs."

I conceded, knowing he was right and trotted down the stairs to find Alice and Jasper waiting patiently for me.

"You guys are lifesavers," I said as I quickly gave each of them a hug. "Okay, so you have all the instructions and plenty of diapers, right?"

"Yes Bella, this isn't the first time we've watched Leah, you know," Alice chided. "Don't worry about us; we're going to have a great time. You guys just enjoy your trip."

I was so thankful that Alice and Jasper had agreed to watch Leah. At the difficult age of two, she could be quite a handful. They had a two-year old boy and a four-month old girl of their own.

When we booked the trip, we asked Esme if she could watch Leah, but it turned out to be the one week of the year that she had something going on. What a nightmare! We thought we would have to cancel but Alice and Jasper stepped in at the last minute and saved us.

Once the car was packed, I pulled Leah into my arms and smothered her with kisses. "You be a good girl for Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper, okay?" She nodded and I hugged her tightly. "Mommy's going to miss you so much!"

I handed her to Edward, who pulled her into a big hug. Seeing him with his daughter was so endearing. She adored him and had him completely wrapped around her tiny finger.

"We'll see you in a week, baby girl," he hummed as he gave her a kiss on the forehead and then handed her to Alice.

Alice loaded the kids in her car and we all pulled away from the house. I said a mental prayer hoping that I hadn't left the water running somewhere or the stove on.

I breathed a sigh of relief once we were finally on the plane and in our seats. I was so excited about this trip, but I had had a million things that needed to be done before we left.

Once we landed, we gathered our luggage and grabbed a cab, heading toward the hotel. Edward had planned most of the trip, which I was thankful for since planning wasn't my strong suit these days. I was lucky if I could remember to get food on the table. Trying to work full time and take care of Leah left me with very little spare time.

We pulled up to the hotel and a smile crossed my face as I immediately recognized where we were. "Edward, you booked the same hotel?"

He grabbed my hand and kissed the back of it lightly, "It doesn't seem like ten years ago, does it?"

I couldn't stop staring at the hotel its gorgeous entrance. The cab driver pulled our bags from the trunk and Edward paid him. I remembered this very door so many years before. So many things had happened since then, yet it seemed like yesterday. It was surreal.

The room was just as gorgeous as the room we'd shared so many years before, with all of the rich appointments and décor. As I stood on the balcony, emotions filled me, thinking about how far we'd come together. This hotel was the place of so many firsts for us and I couldn't believe we were back.

"Bring back memories?" Edward asked, slipping his hands around my waist.

I turned in his arms and pulled him into a tight hug. "Isn't it weird that the last time we were here, we had just met?"

"I knew I loved you, even back then," he whispered as he kissed me softly.

"I never imagined back then that we'd be married someday. I was in a different state of mind. I loved the adventure of being with you."

I briefly thought about our wedding day and the look on Edward's face as I walked down the aisle.

_He looked so happy and his face was radiant with his love for me. It was as if time stood still as we said our vows and promised each other forever. I didn't think it was possible to be happier than I was at that moment. We danced in each other's arms and never left each other's sides the entire night. I kept glancing down at my dress, unable to fully grasp that I was married to Edward, the only man I had ever loved and the only man I would ever love._

_Alice and Jasper were married on New Year's Eve in a grand ceremony that fit them to a tee. Ever since they first got together at that club so many years ago, they'd been inseparable. I was so happy that they found each other. She was pregnant with their son, Marcus, at their wedding but hadn't told anyone yet. I was so glad that I'd had someone to go through pregnancy with. _

_Rosalie and Emmett had a small destination wedding in Hawaii, which was a great excuse for a vacation for all of us. They didn't want kids and as a result, traveled to exotic places several times a year. He brought out the kinder side of Rosalie and she gave him an edge. _

Edward pulled me from my thoughts with tender kisses along my neck. "You're not worried about Leah, are you?"

"No, I know she'll be fine with Alice and Jasper. I miss her, though," I sighed.

"So do I," he confessed, "but, I'm happy that we have this time for the two of us."

I nodded and smiled as we walked into the room to get ready for dinner. We had heard about a place that had live music from the concierge and since it had been years since we'd been out dancing, I was really excited.

We spent a lot of time entertaining at home since Leah was born and I was thrilled for a night out on the town. And in Paris, no less! I sipped a glass of wine as the music played from our IPod docking station while we got ready. Being in the most romantic city in the world with my romantic husband was certainly a treat.

"You look stunning, Bella," Edward said as I finally emerged from the bathroom, wearing a flowing black, spaghetti-strapped dress.

I was always aware of how handsome Edward was, but tonight he blew me away. He had on lightweight khaki pants and a green short-sleeved shirt that made his eyes look like emeralds.

"If I wasn't so excited about having a night out, we'd be staying in and I'd have my way with you," I said jokingly as I rested my hand on his chest while I kissed him.

He escorted me out and we took the metro across town to a restaurant in the Latin Quarter. It was dimly lit and as romantic as anything I remembered. It was funny how certain memories came back once we were here. We would walk along and I'd catch a certain scent and immediately be transported to a different time.

I had forgotten how nervous I had been about things with Edward when we were here last. The whole week, although incredible, had been overshadowed by the fear of what would happen when we left. It was as if we had been in our own little world and neither of us wanted to face reality.

I remembered the night we went dancing here. It was a night not unlike tonight. His touches set my skin on fire. We both wanted to be together so badly and finally gave up fighting our desires. The first time we made love was like coming home. We belonged together and although neither of us really understood it at the time, we were forever changed.

And now ten years later, I still felt all those same feelings for Edward. I still craved his touch and even when I was nine months pregnant, Edward always made me feel beautiful and loved.

I remembered the day that I took my pregnancy test. What a nerve-wracking day that had been. We had not intended to get pregnant so soon after our wedding. I didn't think we were ready for a baby.

_I went to bed the night before and told myself that if I didn't start my period, I'd take a test. Sure enough, the next morning arrived and nothing. I set the test on the counter and sat on the edge of the tub for the requisite three minutes. I slowly stood to see the results. That had been the longest three minutes of my life. _

_Seeing the word 'pregnant' in the window scared the crap out of me and excited me at the same time. Were we really ready for this? I hadn't grown up around kids and I honestly didn't even know if I'd enjoy being a parent, so seeing the reality of that test stare me in the face was terrifying. _

_Still shaking, I opened the bathroom door and made my way through the dark room to where Edward was sleeping peacefully. I nudged him awake as he tossed and turned, fighting me. _

"_Edward," I whispered, shaking him._

"_Mmmm, what is it, Bella?" he asked groggily. _

"_Look at this," I said, thrusting the test at him. _

_He rubbed his eyes and glanced down at the test. I watched as the realization hit him and he smiled widely. "Are you pregnant?"_

_I couldn't do anything but nod, and seeing the panic in my face, Edward hugged me tightly and pulled me to lie on top of him. "I know we weren't planning this, but I'm really happy. Aren't you?" _

_I exhaled sharply, "I am, but it's just such a big deal. What if I'm not a good mom?"_

_He smoothed my hair, reassuring me, "You'll be great."_

_The rest of my pregnancy went by with few surprises. I'd never seen anything more endearing than the sight of Edward holding our daughter when she was born. She was so tiny in his strong arms as he kissed her and held her tiny fingers. It was the only time I'd ever seen him cry. I loved him so completely in that moment. _

"Bella?" Edward once again pulled me from my memories. "Where'd you go?"

I looked up and Edward was smiling at me from across the table. "Sorry, I was just thinking about Leah," I said softly.

"She's fine, baby," he said reassuringly.

"No, it's not that," I started, "I was thinking about the day she was born."

He nodded, remembering the day. "Yeah, that was a crazy day. We walked into the hospital as two people and left as three. What a trip, huh?"

"You seemed so calm," I said, taking a sip of my wine. "I was a hormonal mess."

He chuckled and raised his eyebrows in agreement. "Thankfully, that phase didn't last long." I slapped his hand lightly and we both laughed.

After dinner, we walked along the Seine and it was a scene straight from my memory. I was reliving it.

"You know what's funny, Bella?" Edward asked as we walked hand in hand.

"Hmm?" I looked up at him and he had the adorable smirk that I loved on his face.

"I was mad at Emmett for going over and talking to you that night in the pub in London," he said as our hands swung between us. "I was too intimidated to talk to you and I was annoyed that he had the balls to do it and I didn't."

"That's funny because you looked so horrified when he did it that I was sure it was some sort of prank. I felt bad that he dragged me over there at your expense." He laughed out loud as I finished talking.

"Is that what you thought? Really?" He stopped walking and faced me.

I nodded and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear. "Yeah, I guess we never could figure out what each other wanted back then, huh?"

"God, I know. We really blew it, didn't we?" he asked, shaking his head.

"No, we didn't blow it. It was a journey and despite all the ups and downs, we're here now, so it's hard for me to regret anything that happened."

"I love you, Bella Cullen," Edward whispered as his hand came to rest on the side of my cheek.

"I love you too, Edward." He kissed me slowly, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth. I sighed in happiness as he pulled me close to him. "So much."

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**A/N: So, that's it! What did you think? If you've been reading and have never left me a review, please leave me one now that it's over. I really want to hear your feedback and thoughts!**

**Before I get to the sappy part, I thought I'd have a little fun. Here are some facts about Love on the Seine that you might not know.**

**1) The original title was Paris Nights, but my beta thought it sounded like Paris Hilton's sex tape.**

**2) The Europe trip was based on a trip that I took with my husband.**

**3) I was originally going to have the Halloween party be Thanksgiving at Carlisle and Esme's but ended up changing it at the last minute. I couldn't figure out how to have Bella make a dramatic exit or figure out why Bella's friends would be there.**

**4) The story was originally going to be chronological. I only changed the order at the last minute and I'm so glad I did.**

**5) My favorite chapter is still the club scene. What's yours?**

**6) I was going to have Jasper in the bar in London and have Bella dating Demetri, but ended up having Bella date Jasper. I think Jasper adds a lot as her date.**

**So, now the sappy part. My readers make me so happy. I do all of this for you. Each time I post a chapter and step away from the computer, I can't wait to come back and see your reviews! It's the BEST! I hope that I have lived up to your expectations.**

**Thank you to all the people who pimped my story. It is so hard to get the word out as a new author and I appreciate it so much! It's the best compliment you can give me!**

**My betas are the best. I don't know where this story would be without them. I'm guessing I would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. Many, many thanks.**

**Sunfeathers, ellierk and jermak99 all helped me a ton with this epilogue, so I thank you all very much. Your feedback is invaluable.**

**So, what's next for me?**

**I would really love your votes for my entry in the FML contest. Voting is open until March 3rd. Please help me out by voting for my entry and helping me to get the word out. The link is in my profile. ****My entry is called So, How'd You Two Meet?.**

**My next fic will be a continuation of my one-shot called A World Away. I hope that you all will stick with me for that. Please add me to your alerts so you will be notified when I update. The next chapter should go up in about a week or so!**

**Thanks again for this amazing journey and I hope you enjoyed this story!**

**wandb**


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